Paranoia

Mother is a paranoid-manic depressive.
Sorry but bipolar just does not describe what life is like around them!
Lord, how I loath mental illness!
And ALL of the women on the Scott-ASpencer side suffer from this!
And MUST inflict themselves on me!
sigh

And, after several days in a row of walking mother through health issues, doctors and hospitals -
My nerves are on edge and my mind just numbed from the ^%%$#@ that passes for her logic!
And NO ONE has ever listened to Kris,
After-all I had only the second IQ recorded for a family member ...
sigh

Back home,
I noted my blood pressure is looking for Olympic Gold,
So, flip open my pill box and note that someone did not count out his pills yesterday!
cough-cough!

So, I see that my night time pills are in the box.
Odd.
But with my mind,
Who knows these days!
So, I count out my pills,
Making sure I am matching the pills already there.

Once done,
There is one pill left over and unmatched.
So, I examine this unknown pill.
It is light lavender in color,
About 100 mgs in size,
And absolutely NO numbers or lettering!

Going back through the pill bottles,
Nothing matches this pilll.
Going through all of my suppliments,
Again no match!
In fact, I can find no matching pill anywhere in this house!

So, where did it come from?

I tossed it away.
But just because you are not paranoiid,
Does not mean that someone is not seeking your death!
Too weird!

The Zombies!

The first group I can remember really liking was, The Zombies!
A young band from England.
I could listen to them nightly on Radio Caroline,
By shortwave radio,
In my home in north-eastern France.

Good songs!

So, a little dedication to Christina's memory,
Hard to imagine her as a swinger,
But, then,
We all have a past!
(and a future!)



Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for your "burying the hatchet".
Thank you for loving my parcel of rascally Russian children!

(things I never said ... and probably should have!)

Noted With Sadness

So, I thought I would hop onto the internet and see whom else has died since I have been so out of it for so long.
And I found something I was unprepared for.

First up is death of yet another uncle.
sigh
This one I liked very much!

He was not well regarded in the family,
As he was a dirt farmer.
Raised sugar beets and occasionally potatoes.
His German wife, whom married him to escape Hitler's Germany,
Never forgave him for the dirt.

She is a total neat freak and no one is allowed sit on her furniture!
Yeah that is what floors are for!
gees!
She is an example of what was wrong with the Germany mindset before the War!
And why I rebelled against the pomp and circumstance of being a noble!
Albeit, a dirt poor one at that!

Vernon died on Saturday,
Due to a weak heart.
I got his wife a nice card,
Which I will send as soon as this post is done.
But travel is out for me these days!
Sorrowfully, I last saw him 2001 at his oldest sister's funeral.
sigh .....

And, with a great sense of personal sadness,
Christina Swenson,
The woman whom would have been my mother-in-law,
Had history gone differently.
I was very much awed by her,
A Swedish model,
And she was gorgeous!

Though our relationship was tumultuous at the time,
As she totally freaked on her daughter and this strange fascination she had for this German (at the time, I was not allowed to use my real name, nor nationality - Cold War paranoia!)
Her hatred of me  cost me a bride,
But she was up front with me - it was personal!
And I had no real choice in that society, in that day and age .....

She made a point of seeking me out many years later,
And totally embarrassing me no end in public,
To apologize,
During a church service!

She had just engineered her brother-in-law's death,
Then figured out what she had done to him,
And remembered me,
The other one she had sought dead.

In more ways than one!

God, that was horrible!

But, with that humiliation, we made peace,
Meeting often across the years.
When I was in her town,
Or later when she visiting her ailing daughter at the UW Medical Center.
She would come and visit with my adopted children,
The grandchildren she would never have by her oldest daughter.
And strangely my children bearing names she had picked out for her grandchildren,
When her daughter was born!

Too weird!

I have not seen Christina in many years now,
As I moved.
Her husband, was someone I looked up to!
He was 6'5" to my pre-crash 6'4.5"!, and he would rub it in!
He actually sought me out before his death several years ago,
To personally apologize for how wrong they had done me and their daughter.
Stunned me!
It takes a mighty big-sorry man to own up to that one!
And I felt his anguish ......
I have daughters too .....

So, a bit sad for Oona.
Both of her parents are gone now.
And her siblings living else where.
And her health is gone.
sigh .....
I do wish her well in life,
As I have for 45 years .....
Of quietly helping her,
When led to do so by the Spirit.
But, not enough to hunt her down!

shudder!!!!!!!

Of course, she had to appear in a dream last night,
Only the second time that has ever happened (I think!).
And like the last time,
I awoke screaming at 2 AM!
My youngest daughter came crashing down the stairs to see who had killed me!

Yeah, I think I have a few unresolved issues there .....

Musical Saturday Morning

A little replayed group, whose sound was very much like Duran Duran at the time.
But seemed to pattern themselves after OMD, of a few years earlier!
Enjoy!

In Passing

I am WAY behind in my reading!
I tell you, go and sort of die, and it is hard to catch up with ANY aspect of your new life!
So, as of last night, I am caught up with November 2018!
sigh

So, unknown to me at the time in November,
Dick Dale died!
Whom you say?

Dick Dale was the creator of the surf guitar sound of the early 1960's.
He was also documented as the fastest note picker ever on a guitar!
Hundreds of notes a minute!
Lord only knows how his tendons survived that one!

As a youth, I was quite mesmerized by his guitar prowess.
I even wanted to learn how to play the guitar.
Well, my high school sweetie was a musical anomaly,
So, it was logical.
But, Kris has NO musical ability!
(except I could sing quite well, but forget ever learning to read music!)

So, my Kay Concert sits in a box in my closet to this day .... 45 years later!
But back to Dick....

He suffered through numerous surgeries for colon cancer through the last 20 or so years.
And was quite outspoken on the subject.
I have no doubt that he lost his final bout ....

So, a blast from the past.
A little clip that shows not only his talent but his nature as well.
From Back To The Beach, a 1980's beach party satire ...
With Stevie Ray Vaughn, another dead guitarist of immense talent:

Reputation

Reputation ....
One of those words you do not think of,
When you are young.

On my mind has been a young lady,
Let us call her, Bobette.

Bobette is quite a pretty little thing.
Atheist family,
Brought up with NO knowledge of morals
Or God .....

So, did not quite make it out of high school until an older man left her with child.
Not learning a lesson from that one,
She quickly found comfort in another's arms,
And again deserted with another child.
There was no lesson in that one either it seems.
Now at 18, with two children, she crosses paths with one of "my boys".
Too bad his faith at the time was trumped by her sexuality .....

Now with third child on the way,
She decides to marry this one.
Make NO mistake,
This cost her, her family!

You see, see is completely the product of her environment.
No different thasn her mother,
No different than her grandmother,
No different than five generations of her female ancestors!

So, young man and laden young woman set upon making a life for themselves.
Oh those first few years were tough.
They both had a ton of luggage they needed to abandon,
MANY emotional traumas to overcome.
Mind you, it has not been easy on either of them!

But, with time, they developed a rhythm to life,
And it looked like they would succeed.
That is until Satan,
In the form of first baby daddy reappeared on the scene!@

No, she was no longer interested.
And when he figured this out,
Went on the warpath hoping to embarrass her back into bed - (are guys stupid or what!?!?)
And she had the honesty to admit this.

To put it bluntly,
This creep has done so much damage in their community that it has come down to:
Either they disappear,
Or he does!

Since he wants money to disappear,
More than likely to reappear every time his drug stash is low ....
Or, I have a baseball bat that says he does not get a dime!
And, yes, he will disappear ... permanently!

Luckily, relocating the family is far cheaper,
And ugly Kris need not re-appear!
(thank you Lord for sparing me this!)

So, now living many hundreds of miles away,
They are starting life over.
Reputations untarnished.
I am very excited for them.

As for Bobette,
She has learned a series of lessons she never should have had to!
I reallt feel for all of the players here,
For God will hold them accountable!
And yes, she has made her peace with her creator ......
:^)

As for husband,
It sickens him to finally understand exactly the world works;
When you are playing Satan's game,
By his rules,
In his kingdom!
And yes, a very changed man!
(may he stay so!)
:^)

Emergency!

Sorry today's post has been pre-empted by a medical emeergency by my mother.
Some how, she broke the left hiunge of her jaw!
So, much pain,
Much surgery required,
Much pain for her to survive!

sigh