So Friday during dialysis, yeah .....
Had another stroke.
No one noticed, save for me, hours later.
Other than my own embarrassment,
There were no casualties.
Saturday, was not much better:
Heart attack.
Still waiting to see if it will go all the way and end me.
BP is now 243/172
sigh
I guess I am cursed to follow in my father's ill health footsteps.
sigh
By unlike him,
I know where I am bound,
And no one understands my peace.
But it is not all peace.
I struggle with some things unknowns to me in Christianity,
Things I could never understand,
Still do not understand,
I really do hope that the counselor assigned to me can clear my mind in those areas!
It seems every time that I hunker down into survival mode,
Talk myself into overcoming,
The heart fails.
Very frustrating.
Well, two nitro's taken,
And feeling better now.
100 point drop in my BP.
So, guess I am going to live to see another day.
IF God wills it so.
It took three hours to type just this little bit.
April 30, 2018
April 28, 2018
April 27, 2018
Remembering Romania
It has triggered many memories seeing the short series by Romanian TV.
To think that I knew so much of its history!
But then, my grandmother's family had lived and ruled from there until the 13th century anyways.
And a second wave of immigration to the Kyburg lands in Switzerland centuries later.
I found that I knew tank commanders,
Radio operators,
Even members of the government,,
And a KGB plant from Russia,
Not to mention one mention one member chosen for the firing squad -
All members of the underground church!
And all of them had played a hand in the fall of the government,
Thus by extension the execution of the dictator!
Well, I started thinking about that.
I understood that if you want to be a despot,
You probably got that one coming!
If I ever write a book,
I think I got the plot.
No one believe what happened and why in that little country.
Death never is understood when it happens.
The twisted intrigues of politics.
Amazing the junk in my old mind!
Now to find those letters,
Somewhere in my boxes .....
sigh .......
To think that I knew so much of its history!
But then, my grandmother's family had lived and ruled from there until the 13th century anyways.
And a second wave of immigration to the Kyburg lands in Switzerland centuries later.
I found that I knew tank commanders,
Radio operators,
Even members of the government,,
And a KGB plant from Russia,
Not to mention one mention one member chosen for the firing squad -
All members of the underground church!
And all of them had played a hand in the fall of the government,
Thus by extension the execution of the dictator!
Well, I started thinking about that.
I understood that if you want to be a despot,
You probably got that one coming!
If I ever write a book,
I think I got the plot.
No one believe what happened and why in that little country.
Death never is understood when it happens.
The twisted intrigues of politics.
Amazing the junk in my old mind!
Now to find those letters,
Somewhere in my boxes .....
sigh .......
April 26, 2018
Comrade Detective
This is a tv show from Romania.
Filmed in the 1980's.
Rich with the Cold War paranoia and propaganda the west was guilty of as well.
The story revolves around a detective, whom could have been played by Tim Tomserson.
His partner dies early on and is replaced by the dead cop's best friend.
Need I say oil and water?
Yeah, they do not see eye to eye!
Into this drama are attempts to find the dead cop's killer.
All that is known is that he wears a Reagan mask!
I did mention propaganda, right?
Many slams against Americans' and our greed.
While praising the hard working honest Romanian!
Yeah.
But it is a good look into the Communist view of the West and capitalism.
Definitely dated.
With an solid story.
Unfortunately, it appears that the female US Ambassador is actually a money grubbing whore.
All other American woman really crave Romanian men.
Clothing optional - really?
The main character is nothing more than a serial rapist ....
So, yeah, no recommendation from me to see this "gem"!
However, shows 1,2,3,5,7 to end are reasonable,
Though heavily laced with unnecessary cursing.
Seems the favorite Romanian word is "f***".
gag ....
( and i have just learned i was suckered by this show!
it is actual made by a couple of degenerate Americans as a satire!
what an utter pile of crap they created!
and they thought it humorous!
just goes to prove how badly hollywood,
and tv have lost their way!
this really pisses me off!)
Filmed in the 1980's.
Rich with the Cold War paranoia and propaganda the west was guilty of as well.
The story revolves around a detective, whom could have been played by Tim Tomserson.
His partner dies early on and is replaced by the dead cop's best friend.
Need I say oil and water?
Yeah, they do not see eye to eye!
Into this drama are attempts to find the dead cop's killer.
All that is known is that he wears a Reagan mask!
I did mention propaganda, right?
Many slams against Americans' and our greed.
While praising the hard working honest Romanian!
Yeah.
But it is a good look into the Communist view of the West and capitalism.
Definitely dated.
With an solid story.
Unfortunately, it appears that the female US Ambassador is actually a money grubbing whore.
All other American woman really crave Romanian men.
Clothing optional - really?
The main character is nothing more than a serial rapist ....
So, yeah, no recommendation from me to see this "gem"!
However, shows 1,2,3,5,7 to end are reasonable,
Though heavily laced with unnecessary cursing.
Seems the favorite Romanian word is "f***".
gag ....
( and i have just learned i was suckered by this show!
it is actual made by a couple of degenerate Americans as a satire!
what an utter pile of crap they created!
and they thought it humorous!
just goes to prove how badly hollywood,
and tv have lost their way!
this really pisses me off!)
April 25, 2018
Indecisions
I try to carefully make wise decisions.
But, it seems that I have lost this abilirty.
So, I apply rules of logic.
And it is exhausting!
I want to go to work but I lack all life experience.
I lack all education, except that which I have restudied.
So no knowledge.
No history to draw from.
No hope of getting a job.
Thank you amnesia.
Sigh ...
I need to buy a car.
New, used, brand, model?
I am stymied by indecision!
Aaaaargh!
And everything seems to take literally three times longer than it should!
Six months reading car devoted magazines.
And, I have no clue what to do.
I am going to the Costco auto program site and see what they have next.
Perhaps with an easy to get and out of, I can volunteer to drive those such as I around town?
Well, something I could do.
I better ask Swede if this is a good idea though ...
But, it seems that I have lost this abilirty.
So, I apply rules of logic.
And it is exhausting!
I want to go to work but I lack all life experience.
I lack all education, except that which I have restudied.
So no knowledge.
No history to draw from.
No hope of getting a job.
Thank you amnesia.
Sigh ...
I need to buy a car.
New, used, brand, model?
I am stymied by indecision!
Aaaaargh!
And everything seems to take literally three times longer than it should!
Six months reading car devoted magazines.
And, I have no clue what to do.
I am going to the Costco auto program site and see what they have next.
Perhaps with an easy to get and out of, I can volunteer to drive those such as I around town?
Well, something I could do.
I better ask Swede if this is a good idea though ...
April 24, 2018
Forgiveness
It is a small world it seems.
Last Thursday, in the meeting with my end of life counsellor, he got to talking about forgiveness.
No worries, I keep my conscience clear!
Or so I thought .....
Sunday, my second youngest God-Son was talking about forgiveness, too.
And, that got me thinking.
There are no coincidences in the Christian walk.
So, I prayed about this.
And I was amazingly reminded that there was plenty of for forgiveness.
Apparently burying stuff, does not help it go away.
And somethings can't be forgotten it seems.
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Forgiveness Frees
You need to understand forgiveness.
I am reminded of a guy down in Mexico whom was laughing after a fight with another guy.
When I asked why, he sia that now he "owned" that other guy.
Due to his hatred.
And, it ould seem forgiveness was out of the question!
Forgiveness Forgets
This is willing memory loss.
Something not natural at all!~
Remember you are forgiven.
Forgiveness Costs
Hatred and anger are poison to you!
Both bring on Stress, Heart Attacks, Ulcers ... etc!
Let go of the past.
Live in the now.
Remember the cost of your own forgiveness.
Last Thursday, in the meeting with my end of life counsellor, he got to talking about forgiveness.
No worries, I keep my conscience clear!
Or so I thought .....
Sunday, my second youngest God-Son was talking about forgiveness, too.
And, that got me thinking.
There are no coincidences in the Christian walk.
So, I prayed about this.
And I was amazingly reminded that there was plenty of for forgiveness.
Apparently burying stuff, does not help it go away.
And somethings can't be forgotten it seems.
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Forgiveness Frees
You need to understand forgiveness.
I am reminded of a guy down in Mexico whom was laughing after a fight with another guy.
When I asked why, he sia that now he "owned" that other guy.
Due to his hatred.
And, it ould seem forgiveness was out of the question!
Forgiveness Forgets
This is willing memory loss.
Something not natural at all!~
Remember you are forgiven.
Forgiveness Costs
Hatred and anger are poison to you!
Both bring on Stress, Heart Attacks, Ulcers ... etc!
Let go of the past.
Live in the now.
Remember the cost of your own forgiveness.
April 23, 2018
Troubles In Paradise
The first time I came to this area was in 1970. The family was moving from South Carolina to Colorado. I was sent to spend early summer with my mother's brother in Washington State.
From my first introduction to this area, I fell in love with it. It is just like where I grew up in Germany. Bad weather and all!
So, high school graduation, plus one week and I was back Washington.
And with few exceptions I have stayed here, save for ten years back in Europe as my home base.
During this time, this area acquired road pavement, sewer treatment and the lice of this society: the meth-heads.
Yes, the press wants you to believe these are families forces from their homes by the economy.
In reality. it is about 50% meth and heroin addicts, 30% mentally challenged and 20% runaways.
But we are talking 100% alcoholism amongst them!
So, you may have heard this on the news last week:
Two men accosted a homeless man and severely injured him with a machete!
Typical liberal white washing hype!
In reality, two homeless drunks armed with a machete and a heavy chain - beat and chopped up a homeless meth user because they wanted his spot to beg from on our major road!
Two local fry cooks from the business this was in front off intervened and stopped them from butchering a concerned woman whom injected herself into the situation!
Drunks to jail, woman and meth user to the hospital in critical condition!
And this is what my paradise has come to!
What is not wrong with this culture and society!!!!!?????
I finally am of the opinion that this area is unredeemable ...
(but my grandchildren live here and so must I)
From my first introduction to this area, I fell in love with it. It is just like where I grew up in Germany. Bad weather and all!
So, high school graduation, plus one week and I was back Washington.
And with few exceptions I have stayed here, save for ten years back in Europe as my home base.
During this time, this area acquired road pavement, sewer treatment and the lice of this society: the meth-heads.
Yes, the press wants you to believe these are families forces from their homes by the economy.
In reality. it is about 50% meth and heroin addicts, 30% mentally challenged and 20% runaways.
But we are talking 100% alcoholism amongst them!
So, you may have heard this on the news last week:
Two men accosted a homeless man and severely injured him with a machete!
Typical liberal white washing hype!
In reality, two homeless drunks armed with a machete and a heavy chain - beat and chopped up a homeless meth user because they wanted his spot to beg from on our major road!
Two local fry cooks from the business this was in front off intervened and stopped them from butchering a concerned woman whom injected herself into the situation!
Drunks to jail, woman and meth user to the hospital in critical condition!
And this is what my paradise has come to!
What is not wrong with this culture and society!!!!!?????
I finally am of the opinion that this area is unredeemable ...
(but my grandchildren live here and so must I)
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