Prayer Please

Your prayers over the upcoming days and weeks will be greatly appreciated.

Best Laid Plans

I have always been sort of an easy going float along with no planning kind of guy.
My favorite vacation was to just show up at an airport with a credit card, toothbrush and change of underwear.  Pick the next flight out  and go for it!  Yes, my friends shook their heads - I must surely be insane!
But, with this severe memory loss, I have to plan things out for the future - or it simply will not get done.
So, on my desk I have 3x5 cards I write stuff on for the days to come.
And stuff not to forget.
So, I had plans for far into summer.
Starting in April I envisioned being able to walk again, through August with lots of treasure hunting.
Driving to Colorado and Arizona to see family.
Sigh.

Instead it seems I get to plan for two more months of boredom flat in bed.
So, off to the bookstores for more reading materials.
Maybe I can finally start painting?
Or work on my long neglected coin collection?
Or dream of my favorite beach in Jamaica, laying in the sun ..... :)

Well, what ever I choose to do, being online will not be an option after tomorrow.
At least for many days until I can get off the pain killers,  yet again.
Sigh...

Musical Saturday Morning

Painful Loss

Many weeks ago I discovered that my oldest internet friend had disappeared.

I thought on this and well maybe, Facebook had decided to lose the connection - so I sent a note.  Yup, their reply told me that they really did not know me  - so good bye!

This from a friend stretching back to MySpace, when it was a true social networking site and Tom had not lost his mind  - yet!

This was someone whom I shared prayer request with for over 12 years!  How can you not know someone whom you are in contact with, as much as you desire, praying with and discussing family issues?

Heavens!  I doubt there is a single thing they do not know about me!  And if there was, what would have stopped them from asking?  No idea, truly.

So net result one less person I can count on to help me in prayer, when I need a full time staff praying with me and for me!  But, such is life.

Obviously, something else is going on.  Their family has been in my daily prayers for years.  Unfortunately, I have no experience in the areas of their challenges or surely I would have offered advice - but I have not traveled their road.

Such is life.  It would have been less painful if they just beat me with a shovel.

So, what do you, dear reader, want to know about me?  eMail me and ask!

Quotes

I love stumbling upon a few choice nuggets which show either the humor or struggles of mankind.  Hope you can enjoy what was  behind some of these ...

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not ....."
Mark Twain
*****
"History is the sum total of the things that could have been avoided ....."
Konrad Adenauer, first ChancelLor of West Germany
*****
"Badges? We ain't got no badges!  We don't need no badges!  I don't have to show you no stinking badges!"
Treasure of Sierra Madre
*****
"This is a godforsaken country, and godforsaken people live in it ..... I really do not feel any sympathy when I hear that the Indians have killed a half dozen or more of the people."
Captain Henry Lawton, 4th US Cavalry, while chasing Geronimo and Chiricahua Apaches
******
"The enterprising firm of Mattheissen & Goldberg yesterday received a new invoice of cats.  As soon as they get their first sight, the holiday of the playful mouse will come to an abrupt terminus."
Deadwood Daily Times, August 1880
*****

3.0

Over the weekend, a few of my past friends visited with me.
They all commented that I appear to be Kris 3.0 ....
Oh how I laughed!
Yeah it seems as time progresses, the affects of the gases used on me this last surgery has brought more brain damage -  and personality changes.

Last night I had dinner with Dutchman, his wife and Gaelic Girl.  We went to a fairly nice fish house.  In the two hours we were there, we chowed through quite the pile of fish and chips!  I am still so full!  Ugh!

We talked about friends, families and where I am in my healing.  Nothing about the past which I was grateful for - it is very stressing trying to remember, usually to find no answers at all!  And Dutchman knows me far better than anyone else in this world so of course he had to nick me at the last possible moment!  Grrrrrrrrr!

We were leaving the restaurant which has a very steep incline to enter!  Dutch woman holding on to Gaelic Girl, GG holding me by my belt, me with my hand squeezing the brake on the kneeling scooter for all I am worth! and Dutchman walking backwards in front of me chattering away at how weird it is to see me with NO memory!

"So, you ever been to Spain."
"Well, yeah I know I went there in 6th grade..."
"No, I was a thinking like after college ..."
"No, I don't think so ..."
"You know, some time with the ETA?"
"What the .....?   I did something with the Basques?"
"Yeah, most memorable stories you had."
"ETA, what the heck could I have been doing with them? ......"

But just then a group of people came streaming by us, so the conversation was lost.
And Dutchman will be off and out of contact for an extended time again
Dang it!

Another secret to my past lost ......

Friday

Friday started out excitingly!
Just for fun I checked to see if my artificial leg would go on - and it did!
But I dare not stand on it as the two inch gash being used to drain the leg would be mighty unhappy to have pressure put on it!
I did some cleaning before the nurse arrived.
So much to do!

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, my kneeling scooter spit apart!
I bounced off the floor, the leg seems okay.
I found that the two bolts which hold the scooter in an upright position had sheared!
What are the odds?  I mean really!

Nurse came, luckily I had unlocked the door earlier as I was now stranded.
So, all doctored up.
Lots of notes written to my surgeon and her home company.
The leg was swelling ... sigh ...

My nephew showed up and we were able to perform a repair to the scooter.
I found a replacement on Amazon.Com, ought to have it by Wednesday.

So, a set back of a few weeks in shrinking the leg - again!
Plenty of pain pills available.
Time and sleep to heal.

Well, with lots of prayer of course!

Musical Saturday Morning

Hacking Lockouts

Such a week!

I started off the week with a hacking problem.  I could not find that they had change anything on my posts or posted spurious articles, but it mad no sense.  Certainly in years past I have struggled with youth I work with hacking me but usually they just kept changing my birthday!  To the point that "Tom" on MySpace deleted my account.  Sigh.

But now I am locked out eMail, Google took a day to straighten out so I can reach Blogger and now my mind goes blank - I am locked out of something else I use ... sigh ... I hate this amnesia!

Believe it or not, I am being told to send photocopies of my passport, driver;s license or other Federal ID in order to get my other accounts back!  What the heck?!?!?!?  I am not going to make copies of any of those documents, then send over the internet!  Are they utterly insane?

So I thought, okay - my Swiss name is compromised, but there is still my German name I can go with ... silly Kris!  Someone has already built that id all over the internet world!  I discovered my hacker!  Yes, they used my German name all over - and the passwords are all ones that use!  So no idea what they are up to  but not very imaginative!  So I will resetting all of those accounts today.  Their photos are certainly none of mine so I know it is not a product of my amnesia!  Just too weird!

I was telling everyone whom asked about my disappearance,  I was supporting the Immigration Protests, since I had to go through naturalization to officially be recognized as a US citizen!  Always good for laughs - but a real sore point for me that someone born in the US can be stripped of citizenship because their father was not a US Citizen!  My sister never had to deal with this as father was a citizen by the time she was born!  grrrrrrrrrrr!

Well, exhaustion sets in - tme to close.

Not Augustinian

No, I was not reading Augustine's City of God.
No, I do not believe in Augustinian Thought.

And ... the eMails I get ......

You have to understand that Augustine wrote his City of God at a time when Rome was being over-run.  The Visigoths had over-run the Alps, massacred the northern legions and were marching on Rome itself.  Inconceivable!

And Romans were fleeing Italy as fast they could afford!  The empire was shattered, where were they to flee?  Well, the closest point of Roman Culture was Carthage on the African north coast.  But Carthage was a long established city and although Roman, was less than interested n absorbing the flood of refugees coming to their city!  Augustine was a well off member of Carthage society, as well as, a Christian thinker - and his self interest was to argue to tell them all to go back home and fight for what was theirs!

So pervasive were his arguments - they are still used to this day by governments' to defend their warfares!  (Yeah, and try standing up in court to argue against Augustinian thought when you are 19 and facing veteran trial lawyers!)

So the point of Monday's post was not to argue for two kingdoms, nor even for the right of one to rule over the other, but to show that we wholly devote ourselves to the pursuit of Earthly desires - whereas what our attention is supposed to on is the pursuit of  God and His values.

Because we are eternal creations, given the requirement of eternal values, given a time to learn and prove ourselves - prior to being of use to God!

It seems an example is called for, and based on the eMails, we will go with the Bible and the Trump presidential election cycle.  But, first the eMails had a few issues.  I am ignorant of any evidence that Donald Trump is a Christian anything.  I see no virtue, no example of anything in his life pointing to God!  Quite the opposite, everything points to a self-absorbed man whom can not control himself.  Not the definition of a Christian man ... period.

The other problem is the liberal belief that Trump won the election because of this Christian support.  Sorry but America is NOT a Christian nation, it once had a Christian conscience long ago, but not any longer.  We do have an ingrained memory of what behaviors are correct - and to an extent that behavioral memory was not an asset to Clinton, nor calling Christians morons, etc.  All very negative and that is what derailed her.  If she had left her bigotries behind her and grown up - she probably could have won.  And it would have made no difference to me ...

So give that the entire basis of the "I hate your post" is invalid we can now proceed.

Now if Augustine was self-absorbed in getting vagrants out of his town and shaming them into returning to fight for what they claimed to want ... or ... what?  He diverted their attention to seeing that there is a Heavenly city that awaits them, no matter their exploits in this world.  Our eternal selves are independent from our physical selves.  Unfortunately, Jesus knew quite different, as did Paul and every writer of the New Testament.  It is why there are lots of commandments we are all still bound to but only two seem to have an eternal price attached to them - the taking of human life and fidelity.  Neither of which Augustine much of concern to Augustine - but remember, in his theology, God really does not care ... no matter the Bible's content.

So, I default to what the Bible says literally - and those that laugh and have a problem with that pretty much need to stop reading about the Bible and read the Bible - even if you have to go the first century Manuscripts!  And, yes, they exist - it is just no politically correct to know of their existence ....

So, were are we left?  The common reply to the above statement - "No one has that kind of time!"  But, this is said with the understanding that what is important is what you can amass in this life, rather than trying to show others a better way to live - with the goal of The real Kingdom in the end when Jesus returns.  Yes, I also believe in a physical return of Jesus - the one belief that separated me from my Hutterite Brethern - they not longer believe in Jesus' physical return ....

Happy Valentines Day

 

A little humor from my politically correct cousin!  (not!)

Two Kingdoms

As I mentioned, I had an epiphany of sorts last week.  I have struggled for years with what has been my greatest failure in life.  I have even been able to find the flaw in me which allowed failure to exist - a pragmatic upbringing, a pragmatic discipleship, a pragmatic Church.  Even though I have suspected for decades that pragmatism is the road to Hell - I had nothing to work with in my mind on this topic.

For as long as I have been a Christian, I have found the conflicting dual nature of Christianity to be both frustrating and confusing.  My mentors both in and out of the Hutterite group I was associated with had nothing to offer as to how to answer the question.  Their ultimate answer was Pragmatism.  But, there was an answer that the once Christian church of the West went with in my lifetime - and I was appalled but I could not say why.  I could see the symptoms - I just had no idea as to why the church had gone sideways so far, so fast.

And you even know almost everything I am going to say but the perspective may not be the same ...

Kingdom of the World
It is where we live.
You work a job.
You manage your resources (hopefully wisely).
You establish your family.
You do what we all do on a daily basis.

God's Kingdom
It is a place where we live - only we do not live like it!
Everything in this physical existence is only temporary.
What has any value is what God defines.

So two conflicting views: one from a physical world perspective and the other from God's.  But, only one is valid.  No, the World is not the answer, nor does it offer any eternal answers.  Sorry 20th century theology, which sold our God for the pleasures of this world, got it wrong.

How are we reconcile this?

It involves your choices.
If you what you choose is for yourself - you are choosing the World.
If your choice serves others - you maybe choosing God.

If your goal is to advance  yourself in this world,  you have your answer.
If your goal is to advance yourself in the eyes of others, you still fail.
If money, sex, power, etc are the goal, you fail again.
If building that all important nest egg is the goal, you fail as well.
There is nothing you can do in this world which will bring you success in God's Kingdom.

Like many, I thought - "If I could be best man I can be, The best friend I can be, The best brother, The best son, The best youth teacher, The best computer nerd for my clients ....." - I will have achieved what is needed to please and prepare for what God has next for me .....  And I worked very hard to be the best ... at everything.  Of course that is a recipe for failure, and failure frustrates me - sigh ...

And I am very trusting.  I am easy to lie to because I will trust those whom appear to be truthful - and - I have found this nature to be my biggest stumbling stone!  And, I hate failure ...

I have always desired to serve God and God alone.  Somewhere in there I became too concerned about the World and its values and its systems.  So where should my eyes have been?

Certainly God does not need the world's best computer nerd, though He certainly gave me my abilities (and rewarded with me patents!).  God does perhaps want me to be the best at interpersonal skills and dealing with others, because His Kingdom is about others, not me.

In fact, there is very little you can do in this life which is going to be of any eternal value - with the sole exception of investing your time and resources in others.  Everything else you do, every other choice is part of the wasted resources God has given you - to be held against you!

Well, working in 15 minute spurts, it has taken three days to type this!  And now, I really must sleep .......

Musical Saturday Morning

Momentary flashback to the 1970's ...

But mostly I remember this song from weekly pizza-fests at Shakey's Pizza Parlors while I was in college.  Good food, good friends, fun times ...

Take A Breath

For three weeks I have been in firefighting or reaction mode.  No ability to see beyond the moment, much less to plan and really think.  And paying attention to the news was a bit beyond my ability!

But, my mind started coming together and I could start to think about tomorrow.  Of course, it came about early this morning.  I woke up at 4 AM and my mind started chewing through memories I have no knowledge of the origin of.  Yeah, they seem to be memories that could be mine - but I got nothing to go with them, much less why remember them?  There was nothing really there other than high school memories of rejections and betrayals of trust by friends.  Yeah lousy friends, lousy times.  Maybe my mind is trying to work through the why of what I can detect around me these days?  And perhaps I do suspect the answer was on other side January 18 ... now seemingly lost ...

So what was I ultimately to settle my mind on thinking of?  Find out tomorrow, if I have the energy to type it up ...

I have a nurse which visits daily; changing the leg's packing and bandaging - as well as - assessing any vitals (as if I have any!  LOL!), then reporting all to my doctors, surgeon and infectious disease.  Sigh, everyone it seems is in my business!  But, all seems to be going well.  I had a long examination by a wound care specialist yesterday.  I am not sure which war she was associated with but it was before my lifetime and her knowledge is impressive!  And I love to learn new things and she to talk!  :)

I tried to watch the news, but honestly - who gives a flip that a millionaire spoiled brat football player lost his jersey!!!!!!!!  Honestly?  This is what is most important in the world at the moment?  Nothing about Ukrainian attempts to drive Russia from its borders, nothing about NATO deployment of the Volcano minefield technology in a few Ukrainian areas, nothing about continuing Islamic violence in Europe and almost nothing on interesting geologic processes at work with worldwide impact?  Nothing about the fun stories in the international news of what Obama has been up to implement another Cold War?  Disgustingly dishonest news reporting in America!

Well, I have reached the end of my energy - time to cycle down to sleep.  Perhaps I will dream of a place, in another time ..........

Computer Recovery

So almost a month off of the computer and I returned momentarily a few times.  But the complete lack of energy limited any interaction on the computer.  So I returned for an attempt at an hour or so online to find that I was locked out my Blogger accounts, many of my email accounts and I found that most of my friends on Facebook were gone!

Slowly regaining my email accounts and having to think up a new password that these darn applications like is like pulling your own teeth!

This is the second time my email has been hacked - so a final goodbye to Yahoo from me!  Interestingly my Yandex mail has never had a hiccup!

Facebook is harder.  I try not to have very many friends because I use the account to keep up with cooking and art sites, as well as post funny pictures.  But when someone disappears whom has been a friend forever, and I "owe", you have to go - "Huh?".  Then I noticed that only one friend was actually still there!  Huh?  So, it would seem I WAS HACKED!

Now to see if my bank accounts are intact or not!

Very interesting timing, needling occurrences when my resources and reserves are down!  Sigh.

Checking In

So, it has been an exhausting week plus!
Absolutely no energy, lost too much blood.
Can't ever get warm!
Sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day.
Daily nurses visiting, changing the leg packing and bandaging.
Gees, what a routine!

My nephew continues to babysit me, which means he watches tv until I need help - LOL!
He is pretty helpful though - there is little I can for myself.

My tale has become urban legend now amongst the local nurses.
Just all me the human, "whoopie cushion"!
And the all say the same thing,
"I have never heard of such a thing!"
The everyone wants to measure the cavity in my leg!

Still alive
Too tired
Going back to sleep ...