June 29, 2019
June 28, 2019
Down Old Mexico Way
It is sort of like Christmas any day that I can remember something!
Yesterday, I buzzed by the coin shop and they were displaying a set of Mexican currency.
There was a banknote created under the French government.
A set of notes created under the Juarez revolutionary goverment.
And a set of notes created by the Military commander after the fall of Juarez!
They were all issued in Chihuahua.
Now, when I graduated from my college studies, my reward to myself was a month in Mexico.
I traveled throughout Sonora, Durango and Chihuahua States.
And had a wonderful trip!
One of the reasons I had selected Mexico, and its northern states, was that my high school girlfriend's grand father had served under Pershing on the "chase Poncho Villa around" exercise.
Pretty much I followed his path through Mexico.
I even spent an afternoon with Poncho's "wife".
So, I have a fistful of revolutionary currency
I can dress like a cowboy
I have my Colt SSA in .45 Long
Now do I watch The Three Amigos
or Two Mules For Sister Sarah????????
Yesterday, I buzzed by the coin shop and they were displaying a set of Mexican currency.
There was a banknote created under the French government.
A set of notes created under the Juarez revolutionary goverment.
And a set of notes created by the Military commander after the fall of Juarez!
They were all issued in Chihuahua.
Now, when I graduated from my college studies, my reward to myself was a month in Mexico.
I traveled throughout Sonora, Durango and Chihuahua States.
And had a wonderful trip!
One of the reasons I had selected Mexico, and its northern states, was that my high school girlfriend's grand father had served under Pershing on the "chase Poncho Villa around" exercise.
Pretty much I followed his path through Mexico.
I even spent an afternoon with Poncho's "wife".
So, I have a fistful of revolutionary currency
I can dress like a cowboy
I have my Colt SSA in .45 Long
Now do I watch The Three Amigos
or Two Mules For Sister Sarah????????
June 27, 2019
Apollo 11
So hard to believe, that it has been 50 years ago!
We had arrived in the United States, in June, right after school ended in Germany for my sister and I.
I was sent off to Washington State to visit with my uncle Doug, mother's younger brother, for a week.
Mom and Dad went shopping for a home in South Carolina (shudder!!!!).
And we met up in Florida.
First stop was the Space center at Cape Kennedy.
Father had worked for Werner Von Braun during the War.
So reunion time for them!
My sister and I made a day of it playing on the crawler carrying the Apollo 11 rocket!
It moved very slowly down the tarmac, the rocket towering above us.
The crawler was huge, it seemed like the size of a foot ball field!
Numerous sets of tank treads.
And a huge rocket standing there at attention!
Eventually the two adults finished and we could leave for some serious beach time!
Yes, with our FBI agents in tow.
The ubiquitous federal babysitters!
Ugh!
Now, it is 50 years later.
The moon was ours for a few moments
Now long ignored.
The PBS special was excellent.
And I got extremely interested in how rockets work!
So much so, that I was to assigned to the Apollo's Internal Upper Stage,
For the Saturn 5 rocket!
Saturn 5 had been the work of Swede while he was still in college!!!!!
Gotta admit we have a moment in history here as we prepare to return to the moonj, with an option for Mars.
We had arrived in the United States, in June, right after school ended in Germany for my sister and I.
I was sent off to Washington State to visit with my uncle Doug, mother's younger brother, for a week.
Mom and Dad went shopping for a home in South Carolina (shudder!!!!).
And we met up in Florida.
First stop was the Space center at Cape Kennedy.
Father had worked for Werner Von Braun during the War.
So reunion time for them!
My sister and I made a day of it playing on the crawler carrying the Apollo 11 rocket!
It moved very slowly down the tarmac, the rocket towering above us.
The crawler was huge, it seemed like the size of a foot ball field!
Numerous sets of tank treads.
And a huge rocket standing there at attention!
Eventually the two adults finished and we could leave for some serious beach time!
Yes, with our FBI agents in tow.
The ubiquitous federal babysitters!
Ugh!
Now, it is 50 years later.
The moon was ours for a few moments
Now long ignored.
The PBS special was excellent.
And I got extremely interested in how rockets work!
So much so, that I was to assigned to the Apollo's Internal Upper Stage,
For the Saturn 5 rocket!
Saturn 5 had been the work of Swede while he was still in college!!!!!
Gotta admit we have a moment in history here as we prepare to return to the moonj, with an option for Mars.
June 26, 2019
Swede
So, Monday, I drove up to Swede's house outside of Everett, Washington.
Don't know if I have ever been up there,
Yet I found it easily,
Even recognized a few features,
But, all context was lost as were more specifics about it!
Darned amnesia!
We had a great evening of really awful Sci-Fi movies!!!!!
Oh how laughed the night away!
Unfortunately, my heart had go off on me.
sigh
Nine nitros later and it had calmed down.
Poor Swede,had never understood that heart attacks are survivable ...
So he went to bed thinking it was corpse time for Kris!
He was actually excited to find me still alive!
I got him to the hospital and his pending surgery.
I was glad he got past the surgery!
It was really good to have someone to pray with!
I think prayer has become a lost art.
It is a shame.
It is an easy way to communicate with God.
But with late hours, bad movies, and heavy traffic:
My PTSD had to rear its ugly head!
Nothing like hyperventalating while your lungs don't work!
Saw lots of stars waiting on Swede's surgery to finish.
I was lucky, that it all of my travels to care for swede,
Traffic was light and flowed well.
If you thinkof it,
You might include Swede in your prayers,
For healing,
And meaning to his life in retirement ...
Don't know if I have ever been up there,
Yet I found it easily,
Even recognized a few features,
But, all context was lost as were more specifics about it!
Darned amnesia!
We had a great evening of really awful Sci-Fi movies!!!!!
Oh how laughed the night away!
Unfortunately, my heart had go off on me.
sigh
Nine nitros later and it had calmed down.
Poor Swede,had never understood that heart attacks are survivable ...
So he went to bed thinking it was corpse time for Kris!
He was actually excited to find me still alive!
I got him to the hospital and his pending surgery.
I was glad he got past the surgery!
It was really good to have someone to pray with!
I think prayer has become a lost art.
It is a shame.
It is an easy way to communicate with God.
But with late hours, bad movies, and heavy traffic:
My PTSD had to rear its ugly head!
Nothing like hyperventalating while your lungs don't work!
Saw lots of stars waiting on Swede's surgery to finish.
I was lucky, that it all of my travels to care for swede,
Traffic was light and flowed well.
If you thinkof it,
You might include Swede in your prayers,
For healing,
And meaning to his life in retirement ...
June 25, 2019
Eatonvlle, Quilting & Memory
So, this past weekend kicked off the Shop-Hop Quilting weekendd in Western Washington.
And I got sucker into it again!
But this year I could not drivedue to my now failing heart.
:(
So, Saturday, I loaned my car to the local quilting group for the day.
And they put about 300 miles on it touring quilting shops from Seattle to the Canadian border!
They were all amazed at what I had done to Toyota RAV4,
Just a bit technology!
Toyota offers many types of automation,
But they are sold as packages, not singlely.
And often in groups with stuff no one cares about, except teenagers!
So, the ladies liked my improvements!
Sunday, after church GG wanted to go hunt some more quilting shops.
Eh, what the heck!
I am grounded from driving, so lots of free time!
We did two shops in South Tacoma and then headed for Puyallup.
Then GG recalled a shop in Eatonville - most of the way to Mt. Rainer.
So we diverted our course,
And the weather put the rain into Rainer!
I called the Eatonville shop to get directions.
An elderly lady tried to talk me to the shop but she may no have been outside in 20 years!
Nothing was as she described!
Andreally!
"Look for the big yellow housse"
Actually describes 30% of the town!
AARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
As GG shopped a memory, more like a vision, played before my eyes!
I pulled into a small Swedish town, early afternoon of a rainy day.
My future wife not to be, sat beside me and directed me to her grandmother's home.
I switched off the engine and got out of the car.
Back then I towered at 6'4.5", her father had half an inch on me!
(and about 100 pounds!)
So, I spent the afternoon visiting with 'Nana' Svenson.
Sad part was I learned that none of the kids knew their grandmother's real name,
She was just Nana, aka Grandmother!
It took a while to figure out that my future wife's mother had been a 'gold-digger' in her youth and a social climber.
She used her natural beauty to gain what she thought she wanted.
And a mother whom cooked meals for lumberjacks was not socially fitting.
Christine left home as fast as possible and never looked back!
Later I thought how odd that Oona had taken me there at all.
She had almost no relationship with her relatives.
They were not of the same social standing after all!
When all Hell was to break out in my life,
I thought on that rainy day in the wilds of Sweden.
In the quiet of the night,
When you really do need to find answers.
I was raised as a member of a poor German military family.
By contrast,
I was continued pressured to learn the skills of the elite.
In time to learn I was actually royalty.
Cash poor royalty that is.
And there plenty of 'proofs' to support the claim.
By age ten, I had undergone a weird ceremony, of royalty, bestowing royalty upon me.
And I got to go to royal weddings, parties and the like.
(And more importantly, dance with, hold and sniff princesses!)
And my mother,father and sister were insufferable!
I knew who they really were,
But airs were even maintained within the family!
And I flat refused to play the game!
I did not care if I was titled!
I was just Kris.
That is all I ever wanted to be .....
At age ten, I longed for two things:
A pair of western jeans
To be as far from my family as possible
And once oln my own,
I slammed head first into Oona and her family.
Living the false life,
Completely oblivious to that fact.
They worshipped the gods of plenty and comfort.
And yet they believed they were Christian!
I loved Nana Swenson,
She was a real person.
She lived to serve others and see to their comfort.
How far away she was from her 'successful' daughter!
I had figured it out,
And I was confused.
Oona came from a similar background as I,
But she had never had to see all she knew as being a great lie!
I could only trust God would prevail in the war I saw coming ....
Of course her parents were able to turn her against me.
It did not help that my father's position in the government could be terinated if I ever told the trusth as to my real name, origin or history!
(yes, Kris Plattner is my real name!)
And only God could help me if I said anything as to my suspicions concerning father!
He may have been a monster but he was still my dad.
I am standing on a yellow porch in the light mist.
Last time I had hugged a wonderful old lady,
Whose heart was broken by the actions and life of her daughter.
Oona slipped her arm in mine and whispered,
"I told you she was crazy ..."
I knew then it would only be weeks before the death spasms would begin.
She had not learned, as I had, the hypocrisy of her upbringing.
We would shortly become oil and vinegar.
Conversation has never come easily to me.
And she was upset because her grandmother had liked me!
I pointed the nose of the car south,
And raced towards my own doom.
I am standing on a yellow porch in the light mist.
I can only walk a few feet without winding myself.
The old ticker is fighting for me,
But three arteries need replaced.
GG slips an arm in mine and guides me gently back to the car.
We laugh at the adventure this has been,
The crazy people,
The odd situations.
And head for Orting and our oldest daughter.
I looked at GG driving and thought to myself,
"I could never have found someone like her, apart from God"
Even though our relationship is not normal,
God used that for each of our adopted family.
Because life is lived for them,
Not ourselves!
Last week, one of my friends asked,
"How would life have been different for you,
If Oona had not gone crazy on you?"
Actually, I have never considered this,
I live in the reality of today,
Not the what-ifs of yesterday.
Certainly, she would have been spared a debilitating disease!
Would have had that modeling career and fashion lines.
Everything her mother sought but never quite grasped.
And I may have stayed in the ministry and never gone into computers!
She would have needed to learn a few foreign languages ...
I would have to learn to swallow lutefisk!
And I got sucker into it again!
But this year I could not drivedue to my now failing heart.
:(
So, Saturday, I loaned my car to the local quilting group for the day.
And they put about 300 miles on it touring quilting shops from Seattle to the Canadian border!
They were all amazed at what I had done to Toyota RAV4,
Just a bit technology!
Toyota offers many types of automation,
But they are sold as packages, not singlely.
And often in groups with stuff no one cares about, except teenagers!
So, the ladies liked my improvements!
Sunday, after church GG wanted to go hunt some more quilting shops.
Eh, what the heck!
I am grounded from driving, so lots of free time!
We did two shops in South Tacoma and then headed for Puyallup.
Then GG recalled a shop in Eatonville - most of the way to Mt. Rainer.
So we diverted our course,
And the weather put the rain into Rainer!
I called the Eatonville shop to get directions.
An elderly lady tried to talk me to the shop but she may no have been outside in 20 years!
Nothing was as she described!
Andreally!
"Look for the big yellow housse"
Actually describes 30% of the town!
AARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
As GG shopped a memory, more like a vision, played before my eyes!
I pulled into a small Swedish town, early afternoon of a rainy day.
My future wife not to be, sat beside me and directed me to her grandmother's home.
I switched off the engine and got out of the car.
Back then I towered at 6'4.5", her father had half an inch on me!
(and about 100 pounds!)
So, I spent the afternoon visiting with 'Nana' Svenson.
Sad part was I learned that none of the kids knew their grandmother's real name,
She was just Nana, aka Grandmother!
It took a while to figure out that my future wife's mother had been a 'gold-digger' in her youth and a social climber.
She used her natural beauty to gain what she thought she wanted.
And a mother whom cooked meals for lumberjacks was not socially fitting.
Christine left home as fast as possible and never looked back!
Later I thought how odd that Oona had taken me there at all.
She had almost no relationship with her relatives.
They were not of the same social standing after all!
When all Hell was to break out in my life,
I thought on that rainy day in the wilds of Sweden.
In the quiet of the night,
When you really do need to find answers.
I was raised as a member of a poor German military family.
By contrast,
I was continued pressured to learn the skills of the elite.
In time to learn I was actually royalty.
Cash poor royalty that is.
And there plenty of 'proofs' to support the claim.
By age ten, I had undergone a weird ceremony, of royalty, bestowing royalty upon me.
And I got to go to royal weddings, parties and the like.
(And more importantly, dance with, hold and sniff princesses!)
And my mother,father and sister were insufferable!
I knew who they really were,
But airs were even maintained within the family!
And I flat refused to play the game!
I did not care if I was titled!
I was just Kris.
That is all I ever wanted to be .....
At age ten, I longed for two things:
A pair of western jeans
To be as far from my family as possible
And once oln my own,
I slammed head first into Oona and her family.
Living the false life,
Completely oblivious to that fact.
They worshipped the gods of plenty and comfort.
And yet they believed they were Christian!
I loved Nana Swenson,
She was a real person.
She lived to serve others and see to their comfort.
How far away she was from her 'successful' daughter!
I had figured it out,
And I was confused.
Oona came from a similar background as I,
But she had never had to see all she knew as being a great lie!
I could only trust God would prevail in the war I saw coming ....
Of course her parents were able to turn her against me.
It did not help that my father's position in the government could be terinated if I ever told the trusth as to my real name, origin or history!
(yes, Kris Plattner is my real name!)
And only God could help me if I said anything as to my suspicions concerning father!
He may have been a monster but he was still my dad.
I am standing on a yellow porch in the light mist.
Last time I had hugged a wonderful old lady,
Whose heart was broken by the actions and life of her daughter.
Oona slipped her arm in mine and whispered,
"I told you she was crazy ..."
I knew then it would only be weeks before the death spasms would begin.
She had not learned, as I had, the hypocrisy of her upbringing.
We would shortly become oil and vinegar.
Conversation has never come easily to me.
And she was upset because her grandmother had liked me!
I pointed the nose of the car south,
And raced towards my own doom.
I am standing on a yellow porch in the light mist.
I can only walk a few feet without winding myself.
The old ticker is fighting for me,
But three arteries need replaced.
GG slips an arm in mine and guides me gently back to the car.
We laugh at the adventure this has been,
The crazy people,
The odd situations.
And head for Orting and our oldest daughter.
I looked at GG driving and thought to myself,
"I could never have found someone like her, apart from God"
Even though our relationship is not normal,
God used that for each of our adopted family.
Because life is lived for them,
Not ourselves!
Last week, one of my friends asked,
"How would life have been different for you,
If Oona had not gone crazy on you?"
Actually, I have never considered this,
I live in the reality of today,
Not the what-ifs of yesterday.
Certainly, she would have been spared a debilitating disease!
Would have had that modeling career and fashion lines.
Everything her mother sought but never quite grasped.
And I may have stayed in the ministry and never gone into computers!
She would have needed to learn a few foreign languages ...
I would have to learn to swallow lutefisk!
June 24, 2019
Recollection
It has stunned me at how many have died in my life this past month!
Though vaguely, in the mists of my lost mind, I seem to remember a horrible month.
I think it must have been about 2008,
And 46 people died that I had worked with!
And it was weird stuff,
Super rare blood problems and cancers!
Me and my team were reeling!
You did not want to go to work any loner!
Who was next to not make it to work?
The first dozen, you felt real grief for ....
But it was just compounded shock after that ...
So, we got together and put our heads together ...
It was little effort to build a data base of names, where they lived, where they worked, etc.
And the one thing they ALL had in common was working at a certain site,
For over eight years ...
It took almost an act of God to uncover the building was built on an old dump.
Of course, the wheels of public health turn slowly.
Eleven years later, the State has still not completed water table analysis...
--- Of course they have!, but they may never reveal what they found!
They did that once and the City of Seattle was almost bankrupted for fines associated with illegal dumping down in Midway, Washington in the 1960's and 1970's!
And the numbers just continue to increase for that site and building!
So, we guess, but that is all anyone can do ...
Well, bummer of a memory.
And since it was after 1978, it will be lost again by tomorrow!
sigh, amnesia I have learned to hate you .....
Though vaguely, in the mists of my lost mind, I seem to remember a horrible month.
I think it must have been about 2008,
And 46 people died that I had worked with!
And it was weird stuff,
Super rare blood problems and cancers!
Me and my team were reeling!
You did not want to go to work any loner!
Who was next to not make it to work?
The first dozen, you felt real grief for ....
But it was just compounded shock after that ...
So, we got together and put our heads together ...
It was little effort to build a data base of names, where they lived, where they worked, etc.
And the one thing they ALL had in common was working at a certain site,
For over eight years ...
It took almost an act of God to uncover the building was built on an old dump.
Of course, the wheels of public health turn slowly.
Eleven years later, the State has still not completed water table analysis...
--- Of course they have!, but they may never reveal what they found!
They did that once and the City of Seattle was almost bankrupted for fines associated with illegal dumping down in Midway, Washington in the 1960's and 1970's!
And the numbers just continue to increase for that site and building!
So, we guess, but that is all anyone can do ...
Well, bummer of a memory.
And since it was after 1978, it will be lost again by tomorrow!
sigh, amnesia I have learned to hate you .....
June 22, 2019
June 21, 2019
Surprise!
And not of in the good way!
So Wednesday, I reported to my painting class.
As I started to squeeze paint onto my palette,
I blinked and found I was suddenly nose down on the paint palette!
And I was completely covered in oil paint!
So, after much cleaning I was looking human again,
Although more blue than usual!
But incredibly dizzy.
So much so eating was out of the question!
A very rough day!
Now for months I have been complaining about my breathing not being right,
But NO doctor wants to hear about that!
So to my personal doctor I went and demanded a blood test for anemia.
(NEEDLES!)
Then to the heart doctor to request a heart function review.
But he said he had just done this with his colleges,
They had all voted a minimum of a three way bypass - ASAP!
Oh, @#$%^&* !
Next up, the odd kidney doctor.
She already had heard of the cardiologists' ideas on how to fix Kris' wagon!
So she is looking at getting me oxygen at home.
Looks like I can be breathing again, next week!
sigh
So, I have a meet the surgeon meeting set up in July.
That was his first opening!
Sure hope the ticker lasts that long!
Of course, if not, I get to go home home without undergoing the horror of open heart surgery ....
But it would be nice to make it to real retirement first ....
So Wednesday, I reported to my painting class.
As I started to squeeze paint onto my palette,
I blinked and found I was suddenly nose down on the paint palette!
And I was completely covered in oil paint!
So, after much cleaning I was looking human again,
Although more blue than usual!
But incredibly dizzy.
So much so eating was out of the question!
A very rough day!
Now for months I have been complaining about my breathing not being right,
But NO doctor wants to hear about that!
So to my personal doctor I went and demanded a blood test for anemia.
(NEEDLES!)
Then to the heart doctor to request a heart function review.
But he said he had just done this with his colleges,
They had all voted a minimum of a three way bypass - ASAP!
Oh, @#$%^&* !
Next up, the odd kidney doctor.
She already had heard of the cardiologists' ideas on how to fix Kris' wagon!
So she is looking at getting me oxygen at home.
Looks like I can be breathing again, next week!
sigh
So, I have a meet the surgeon meeting set up in July.
That was his first opening!
Sure hope the ticker lasts that long!
Of course, if not, I get to go home home without undergoing the horror of open heart surgery ....
But it would be nice to make it to real retirement first ....
June 17, 2019
Father's Day
Heard from all of the kids, most of the grandkids, many of my extended family as well!
Very humbling.
All of these people messaging and texting me,
And most of them, I do not know!
Amnesia is frustrating!
Oldest Daughter hosted a small party,
Which was very fun,
And exhausting!
Were my heart stronger,
I might not have fallen asleep 25 times playing hangman!
According to Oldest Grand-Daughter!
Yeah, took a couple of nitro's to keep the ticker ticking!
For my part:
My father is dead
Of the Men whom raised me:
Leonard Larsen, my Danish Dairyman great uncle, dead.
Richard Huston, my mining partner, dead.
Paul Edgar, dying.
So, I sent a card to Paul.
Then see about visiting him.
When I visited, no one was home.
sjgh
Very humbling.
All of these people messaging and texting me,
And most of them, I do not know!
Amnesia is frustrating!
Oldest Daughter hosted a small party,
Which was very fun,
And exhausting!
Were my heart stronger,
I might not have fallen asleep 25 times playing hangman!
According to Oldest Grand-Daughter!
Yeah, took a couple of nitro's to keep the ticker ticking!
For my part:
My father is dead
Of the Men whom raised me:
Leonard Larsen, my Danish Dairyman great uncle, dead.
Richard Huston, my mining partner, dead.
Paul Edgar, dying.
So, I sent a card to Paul.
Then see about visiting him.
When I visited, no one was home.
sjgh
June 15, 2019
June 14, 2019
Delirium
My my mind floats between rational and a dream like state.
My oxygen starved brain floats in and out.
One minute I could be doing most anything and then reality shifts,
I am eating oatmeal
I am talking with the wunchmachen,
Whom I know not
Or her head rest upon my lap and I stare deep into her eyes
Perhaps she is laying next to me in the dark,
Having a nightmare
And then reality snaps back!
No way to control it
No way to predict it
No way to stop it
It just happens.
Yet no doctor will listen that I am strangling for air!
Lord how I need a real doctor!
Do they still exist?
Yesterday was hard.
I was sick from 1 AM to 2 PM,
When I gave up and took Imodium and an anti-nausea pill!
Sure shut me down!
But, in dialysis I cramped up so hard,
The nurse shut the machine down!
Then figured out I had lost too much potassium!
I wasn't sure I would ever walk again!
Oh, Argy-Bargs as was said at the 1971 Jesus Explosion!
Became one of my favorite expressions!
And Sede remains missing after yesterdays hospitalization!
prayer please!
My oxygen starved brain floats in and out.
One minute I could be doing most anything and then reality shifts,
I am eating oatmeal
I am talking with the wunchmachen,
Whom I know not
Or her head rest upon my lap and I stare deep into her eyes
Perhaps she is laying next to me in the dark,
Having a nightmare
And then reality snaps back!
No way to control it
No way to predict it
No way to stop it
It just happens.
Yet no doctor will listen that I am strangling for air!
Lord how I need a real doctor!
Do they still exist?
Yesterday was hard.
I was sick from 1 AM to 2 PM,
When I gave up and took Imodium and an anti-nausea pill!
Sure shut me down!
But, in dialysis I cramped up so hard,
The nurse shut the machine down!
Then figured out I had lost too much potassium!
I wasn't sure I would ever walk again!
Oh, Argy-Bargs as was said at the 1971 Jesus Explosion!
Became one of my favorite expressions!
And Sede remains missing after yesterdays hospitalization!
prayer please!
June 13, 2019
Nerves
My nerves are pretty much shot
Four deaths of people whom meant something to me,
Was the last straw.
As I sit here typing this,
Swede is in Emergency and very frightened.
Internal bleeding and they do not know why.
Yeah, his death would send me over the edge.
I can only pray...
One of "My Boys",
Married now and had been building a future,
Was injured on the job,
Just prior to his wife getting laid off.
Sigh
I can only pray,..
My health is in the toilet,
I am sure from too many doctors not listening to the patient!
In the meantime breathing is difficult
And I may well suffocate to death thanks to this weird medical system we struggle under!
I can only pray....
Of course, Gaelic Girl does little to help.
Half the time she seems to hate me
And loathe me with the other half!
Who knows?
I know she has "issues" for the past two decades,
But at some point she has to see there is a world beyond the end of her nose!
(no i have no idea what that meant! Dang amnesia! I know but know not!)
I can only pray ...
Well time to think about what dinner will be! time to think about.
Four deaths of people whom meant something to me,
Was the last straw.
As I sit here typing this,
Swede is in Emergency and very frightened.
Internal bleeding and they do not know why.
Yeah, his death would send me over the edge.
I can only pray...
One of "My Boys",
Married now and had been building a future,
Was injured on the job,
Just prior to his wife getting laid off.
Sigh
I can only pray,..
My health is in the toilet,
I am sure from too many doctors not listening to the patient!
In the meantime breathing is difficult
And I may well suffocate to death thanks to this weird medical system we struggle under!
I can only pray....
Of course, Gaelic Girl does little to help.
Half the time she seems to hate me
And loathe me with the other half!
Who knows?
I know she has "issues" for the past two decades,
But at some point she has to see there is a world beyond the end of her nose!
(no i have no idea what that meant! Dang amnesia! I know but know not!)
I can only pray ...
Well time to think about what dinner will be! time to think about.
June 12, 2019
Nervous
Oh so nervous!
Today is my first oil painting class!
Wanted to do this for decades but never had the desire to see how bad an artist I am!
Class is beig taught by a member of the Daniel Smith staff.
The lady is quite good and knowledgeable.
There are only six of us:
I, the lone male and way younger that the rest of the students!
4 women
and, one something in-between outwardly male and female!
So quite the spectrum there!
We worked on creating a color wheel.
Mine was perfect until I hit purple!
Yeah, not all blues when mixed with red yield purple.
Nope.
Try a muddy brown!
It was amazing ....
Just like with computers,
IF Kris.
Then Brown!~
Yeah.
But, the 2.5 hours of class rushed by.
I was covered in oil paints.
Sure hope it washes off!
So by next weekend I need to get this right.
Today is my first oil painting class!
Wanted to do this for decades but never had the desire to see how bad an artist I am!
Class is beig taught by a member of the Daniel Smith staff.
The lady is quite good and knowledgeable.
There are only six of us:
I, the lone male and way younger that the rest of the students!
4 women
and, one something in-between outwardly male and female!
So quite the spectrum there!
We worked on creating a color wheel.
Mine was perfect until I hit purple!
Yeah, not all blues when mixed with red yield purple.
Nope.
Try a muddy brown!
It was amazing ....
Just like with computers,
IF Kris.
Then Brown!~
Yeah.
But, the 2.5 hours of class rushed by.
I was covered in oil paints.
Sure hope it washes off!
So by next weekend I need to get this right.
June 11, 2019
Great Men
It sort of bummed me out yesterday, remembering the failure of the Western Church to grow - while being crippled by wolves in sheep's clothing!
No surprise.
This culture does not understand that this life is not an end-all.
Merely a stepping stone to something far grander with our Creator!
Many of those on yesterday's list, I personally approached with my concerns.
To say they paid any heed would be laughable!
I am no one,
Never will be anyone,
Because I early on understood John's writings -
This Earth, is not our home!
So, stop living like it is!
And no one ever listens ....
Well, truth be known, it is the oddest people whom do listen.
A lady I met in a card game on Mt. Rainer.
She had totally warped her faith to force God to behave as she desired.
She was appalled that I "knew''!
I think I have mentioned this before that for what ever reason,
I can look at someone - anyone,
And know what seperates them from God.
No not a delightful gift.
Actually, quite painful.
I am not sure I ever saw her again,
But, I did hear of her,
And why she needed correction.
Only in Heaven would anyone else understand!
It is enough for me to marvel at what her change had cost her!
I think of men in my lifetime I have known:
Billy Graham
Brother Andrew
Brother David
Lanson Ross
An Apostle named John
Gibb Martin
James Packer
Those whose names are lost to my damaged mind:
Guy from Campus Crusade
Guy from Young Life
A guy whom might have been named Eric Weddle?
Peter of South Africa, though in Holland
A pastor with the last name of Shaw
All wonderfully solid men of God.
I have been blessed to know many of them.
So it makes it so hard to sit and be quiet when corruption rears its ugly head!
Especially when NO one listens!
I have known a plethora of Godly women.
But, I am just writing about Dudes here.
No surprise.
This culture does not understand that this life is not an end-all.
Merely a stepping stone to something far grander with our Creator!
Many of those on yesterday's list, I personally approached with my concerns.
To say they paid any heed would be laughable!
I am no one,
Never will be anyone,
Because I early on understood John's writings -
This Earth, is not our home!
So, stop living like it is!
And no one ever listens ....
Well, truth be known, it is the oddest people whom do listen.
A lady I met in a card game on Mt. Rainer.
She had totally warped her faith to force God to behave as she desired.
She was appalled that I "knew''!
I think I have mentioned this before that for what ever reason,
I can look at someone - anyone,
And know what seperates them from God.
No not a delightful gift.
Actually, quite painful.
I am not sure I ever saw her again,
But, I did hear of her,
And why she needed correction.
Only in Heaven would anyone else understand!
It is enough for me to marvel at what her change had cost her!
I think of men in my lifetime I have known:
Billy Graham
Brother Andrew
Brother David
Lanson Ross
An Apostle named John
Gibb Martin
James Packer
Those whose names are lost to my damaged mind:
Guy from Campus Crusade
Guy from Young Life
A guy whom might have been named Eric Weddle?
Peter of South Africa, though in Holland
A pastor with the last name of Shaw
All wonderfully solid men of God.
I have been blessed to know many of them.
So it makes it so hard to sit and be quiet when corruption rears its ugly head!
Especially when NO one listens!
I have known a plethora of Godly women.
But, I am just writing about Dudes here.
June 10, 2019
Denominations
So last week's revelation that mother has become a Mormon sure brought the comments!
And a few personal attacks.
Which was humerous since I said nothing even slightly negative!
But people will be people.
I guess......
Okay, I called the Latter Day Saints a cult, which it is.
But that does not mean Christians can not be found amongst its membership!
If we allow for the sign gifts as being valid,
Then yes, you can find Christians amongst the Mormon ranks!
Perhaps in greater evidence than in my own place of worship!
You can find Christians scattered across most denominations.
But just because you are a member of a "Christian" denomination -
Does NOT make you a Christian!
I have known of many fine pastors and missionaries,
Whom based solely on their lives,
Are headed straight for Hell!
Their followers too blind to see they are being lead down the wrong path!
But, hey, their church numbers are up and growing ...
So, "God" must be blessing them!
Nope, Satan, rewards his own as well.
That is not to say that these wolves in sheepskins,
Can not be saved,
It just means they have not had their last opportunity.
Want me to name names in the American religious realm?
How about:
Don Murray - even pagans do not behave as this man did!
Irv Estruth - your sin destroyed any claim to ministry you could ever have!!
Dave Freeman - your sin showed hundreds of youth that Christianity is a lie!
Dave Corsen - you are different from the world, how?
Marilyn Hicky - God's rules are not suggestions!
Casey Treat - you chose the wrong road to follow .....
Joel Oosteen - your pride is what will bring you down!
Just to name few on the tip of my brain,
And so many hundreds I have watched and noted with sadness their life's testimony,
Does not point to God,
But to the god of this world and sin!
Nothing would please me more than to learn that Don Murray had made peace with God.
But I still would weep for sea of people he damaged and lead away from God!
And for the youth whom saw and ran away from God,
Because God's representative chose to be a man of lies ....
And yeah, fallen men in the pastorate can repent and go forward,
Albeit, tremendously changed men!
James Robison (sp?) instanytly pops to mind.
But, God was able to reach him!
And his ministry today is much smaller but very effective!
And the one which kicked me in the heart,
David Hocking.
He knew he was doing wrong and did not care!
You betrayed God.
But your betrayal of your best friend was the worse!
Think on the thousands you failed ....
Think on the weak you crippled!
Mind you, we are all fallen,
The question is whether you can acknowledge this before God,
And repent!
(that means to tell God of your failures and ask for His forgiveness!
then try to avoid those failures in the future)
Those I have mentioned you may have never heard of,
That is fine.
The purpose is to tell them,
Of their need of humility and confession!
Your responsibility is to guard your testimony!
If you desrtroy it,
It is mighty hard to be restored ...
And a few personal attacks.
Which was humerous since I said nothing even slightly negative!
But people will be people.
I guess......
Okay, I called the Latter Day Saints a cult, which it is.
But that does not mean Christians can not be found amongst its membership!
If we allow for the sign gifts as being valid,
Then yes, you can find Christians amongst the Mormon ranks!
Perhaps in greater evidence than in my own place of worship!
You can find Christians scattered across most denominations.
But just because you are a member of a "Christian" denomination -
Does NOT make you a Christian!
I have known of many fine pastors and missionaries,
Whom based solely on their lives,
Are headed straight for Hell!
Their followers too blind to see they are being lead down the wrong path!
But, hey, their church numbers are up and growing ...
So, "God" must be blessing them!
Nope, Satan, rewards his own as well.
That is not to say that these wolves in sheepskins,
Can not be saved,
It just means they have not had their last opportunity.
Want me to name names in the American religious realm?
How about:
Don Murray - even pagans do not behave as this man did!
Irv Estruth - your sin destroyed any claim to ministry you could ever have!!
Dave Freeman - your sin showed hundreds of youth that Christianity is a lie!
Dave Corsen - you are different from the world, how?
Marilyn Hicky - God's rules are not suggestions!
Casey Treat - you chose the wrong road to follow .....
Joel Oosteen - your pride is what will bring you down!
Just to name few on the tip of my brain,
And so many hundreds I have watched and noted with sadness their life's testimony,
Does not point to God,
But to the god of this world and sin!
Nothing would please me more than to learn that Don Murray had made peace with God.
But I still would weep for sea of people he damaged and lead away from God!
And for the youth whom saw and ran away from God,
Because God's representative chose to be a man of lies ....
And yeah, fallen men in the pastorate can repent and go forward,
Albeit, tremendously changed men!
James Robison (sp?) instanytly pops to mind.
But, God was able to reach him!
And his ministry today is much smaller but very effective!
And the one which kicked me in the heart,
David Hocking.
He knew he was doing wrong and did not care!
You betrayed God.
But your betrayal of your best friend was the worse!
Think on the thousands you failed ....
Think on the weak you crippled!
Mind you, we are all fallen,
The question is whether you can acknowledge this before God,
And repent!
(that means to tell God of your failures and ask for His forgiveness!
then try to avoid those failures in the future)
Those I have mentioned you may have never heard of,
That is fine.
The purpose is to tell them,
Of their need of humility and confession!
Your responsibility is to guard your testimony!
If you desrtroy it,
It is mighty hard to be restored ...
June 8, 2019
June 7, 2019
Ticker
So yesterday was my testing for the old ticker.
Short story, heart is just fine!
Rest of the body, not so much.
First up, they could not take me, due to my breathing.
So, they put me on a breathing treatment.
Cleared up the lungs!
But, the hospital had an Emergency Room demand for my cardiologist's skills!
So now came the wait for 4 hours!
Poor doctor, he had to be exhausted!
The nurses whom prepped me amused themselves.
Heather, whom I think like me, busier herself drawing hearts allover my foot!
Very cute.
So, they got me in and set up.
The assistants were hilarious!
We laughed so much!
Poor jokes ruled!
Since they did not knock me out:
I got to see it all
All the scans
All the dialog
And all the bad jokes!
I almost lost it when one of the technicians commented,
"We overshot, but found some ear wax!!"
Everyone had a chuckle!
Net result of 12 hours in the hospital:
Heart is just fine
Prior stents look great
But, I am horribly anemic!
And no one said anything
To anyone across months of blood tests!
So no one put my anemia up with:
All of the heart failures
All of the times I pass out
The utter lack of energy!
So, working on the anemia next!
Short story, heart is just fine!
Rest of the body, not so much.
First up, they could not take me, due to my breathing.
So, they put me on a breathing treatment.
Cleared up the lungs!
But, the hospital had an Emergency Room demand for my cardiologist's skills!
So now came the wait for 4 hours!
Poor doctor, he had to be exhausted!
The nurses whom prepped me amused themselves.
Heather, whom I think like me, busier herself drawing hearts allover my foot!
Very cute.
So, they got me in and set up.
The assistants were hilarious!
We laughed so much!
Poor jokes ruled!
Since they did not knock me out:
I got to see it all
All the scans
All the dialog
And all the bad jokes!
I almost lost it when one of the technicians commented,
"We overshot, but found some ear wax!!"
Everyone had a chuckle!
Net result of 12 hours in the hospital:
Heart is just fine
Prior stents look great
But, I am horribly anemic!
And no one said anything
To anyone across months of blood tests!
So no one put my anemia up with:
All of the heart failures
All of the times I pass out
The utter lack of energy!
So, working on the anemia next!
June 5, 2019
Yesterday
So I had heart surgery.
I am expecting God is not done with me yet.
So, in all likely hood I survived.
My heart had become quite a problem since the February heart attack.
My walking was limited to 120 feet on a good day,
Only five or six steps on bad days.
My lungs were continually filling with fluid,
The heart too weak to draw it off.
Monday in gym class they pulled me off the machines.
I could only do 90 seconds!
And mr heart rate was just a tick below a full on heart attack!
Yeah, I was whipped!
So, whatever they end up doing has got to be an improvement!
If it is an easy procedure, I will be out to day.
If it turns into open heart surgfery,
Well I will get back to you in a few weeks!
'til then ...
I am expecting God is not done with me yet.
So, in all likely hood I survived.
My heart had become quite a problem since the February heart attack.
My walking was limited to 120 feet on a good day,
Only five or six steps on bad days.
My lungs were continually filling with fluid,
The heart too weak to draw it off.
Monday in gym class they pulled me off the machines.
I could only do 90 seconds!
And mr heart rate was just a tick below a full on heart attack!
Yeah, I was whipped!
So, whatever they end up doing has got to be an improvement!
If it is an easy procedure, I will be out to day.
If it turns into open heart surgfery,
Well I will get back to you in a few weeks!
'til then ...
Clarification
Okay, so there is no mistake:
I have long known many Mormons.
Few as personal friends.
A few were as broken as I so we relied heavily on one another.
Some were good Mormans,
Some were good Christians, but poor Mormons.
I have long held that,
If Christians behaved more like the Mormon Church,
There would be far fewer problems for Christians!
The LDS Church supports their communities in good times and bad.
Not so the Christians!
With massive flooding throughout America's heartland,
Where is the Christian Church?
Not on site being helpful feeding, clothing and sheltering the victims!
Yeah, the LDS Church does ....
To our shame!
So, I am not horrified she has joined a group which is opposed to Jesus' message.
Cause I know if she will follow those whom do know Jesus,
She will follow eventually as well!
So, Kris is not anti-Mormon,
Kris is pro-Jesus,
And has been for many decades!
So, mother desiring to be a Mormon does not horrify me.
I know a few in that
I have long known many Mormons.
Few as personal friends.
A few were as broken as I so we relied heavily on one another.
Some were good Mormans,
Some were good Christians, but poor Mormons.
I have long held that,
If Christians behaved more like the Mormon Church,
There would be far fewer problems for Christians!
The LDS Church supports their communities in good times and bad.
Not so the Christians!
With massive flooding throughout America's heartland,
Where is the Christian Church?
Not on site being helpful feeding, clothing and sheltering the victims!
Yeah, the LDS Church does ....
To our shame!
So, I am not horrified she has joined a group which is opposed to Jesus' message.
Cause I know if she will follow those whom do know Jesus,
She will follow eventually as well!
So, Kris is not anti-Mormon,
Kris is pro-Jesus,
And has been for many decades!
So, mother desiring to be a Mormon does not horrify me.
I know a few in that
June 4, 2019
Stepping Carefully
So, crazy mother called up on Friday to invite me to a Baptism service being held for her at the local Mormon Ward.
I told her to tell me the place and time, and I would be there .....
My mother's family has a long history with the Latter Day Saints. Stretching back to the its expansion into Wales 1849 and Scotland 1852!
Those families migrated to America and then walked to Salt Lake City.
With hand trucks filled with all their earthly goods.
Many died:
Struck by lightening
Drown in floods
Killed by falling trees
Yeah, America was a dangerous place for the naive.
Mother, once she graduated from college, was to foster a hate-hate relation with the Mormons.
My great grandmother Spencer was a missionary to the Umatilla Indian Tribe, outside of Le Grande, Oregon for 40 years!
So, although I was raised an atheist, I was well schooled in Mormon thought!
And now mother is willing to bury her demons and join them?
Huhmmmmmmmm ..... Okay .....
On the one hand mother is 82 and quite lonely.
The Church members have been visiting her regularly.
Mother's trailer needs real work.
The young men have been helping her rebuild it.
Mother wants to belong to a church.
They pick her up, take her to the various functions.
So, she has joined them!
(what ever!)
I always said she was a Southern Baptist, not a Christian - same as most Baptist's I have known!
So, she is still not a Christian, sigh ...
The baptism went well.
Certainly she is one of the oldest members of the church!
Afterwards, I hosted a luncheon for her at the local Mexican place.
I have to admit the ones I met are probably not the good Mormons,
As their views were very reformation based.
But, once the Book of Mormon was brought up, it was company line the whole way!
I really liked one of the guys,
I dare say we will be friends,
If he can live with a non-believer around him!
I told her to tell me the place and time, and I would be there .....
My mother's family has a long history with the Latter Day Saints. Stretching back to the its expansion into Wales 1849 and Scotland 1852!
Those families migrated to America and then walked to Salt Lake City.
With hand trucks filled with all their earthly goods.
Many died:
Struck by lightening
Drown in floods
Killed by falling trees
Yeah, America was a dangerous place for the naive.
Mother, once she graduated from college, was to foster a hate-hate relation with the Mormons.
My great grandmother Spencer was a missionary to the Umatilla Indian Tribe, outside of Le Grande, Oregon for 40 years!
So, although I was raised an atheist, I was well schooled in Mormon thought!
And now mother is willing to bury her demons and join them?
Huhmmmmmmmm ..... Okay .....
On the one hand mother is 82 and quite lonely.
The Church members have been visiting her regularly.
Mother's trailer needs real work.
The young men have been helping her rebuild it.
Mother wants to belong to a church.
They pick her up, take her to the various functions.
So, she has joined them!
(what ever!)
I always said she was a Southern Baptist, not a Christian - same as most Baptist's I have known!
So, she is still not a Christian, sigh ...
The baptism went well.
Certainly she is one of the oldest members of the church!
Afterwards, I hosted a luncheon for her at the local Mexican place.
I have to admit the ones I met are probably not the good Mormons,
As their views were very reformation based.
But, once the Book of Mormon was brought up, it was company line the whole way!
I really liked one of the guys,
I dare say we will be friends,
If he can live with a non-believer around him!
June 3, 2019
Life and Death
Been thinking a lot about life, since Christina's death.
That would be in the light of Paul's writings.
The problem is that our Western Culture is so far from Biblical truth, thanks to Greek culture, that to state the problem really is not going to be understood today, much at all!
How does one rectify the problem without landing solidly in piety! Which is condemned as sin by Jesus and several of the Apostles!
Life is what we know:
we can see it,
smell it,
taste it,
touch it.
We live it after-all!
We have a harder problem when we are required to abandon that understanding of life!
And that is exactly what Jesus requires us to do!
We are told to live by faith, not by sight!
That would be faith in God,
Not your 401-Ks!
So many in Christianity have bought into the Dave Ramsey school of unbalanced wealth!
"A little bit for God, a whole lot for me!"
"I am living the life of faith! And the dividends look great!"
But God told us to not go into debt,
Yet we are mostly all are in debt!
God told us our wealth is to be His, not ours!"
Yet we give a tenth, supposedly (we estimate 2% in our church!),
And then whine about it! .....
Something is out of square here!
If our lives are really to be His, in whole,
Not just in tenths!
Then what must change?
Well, you have to stop pursuing the almighty buck,
For starters!
You have to get out of debt!
No, property which is sellable is not a debt!
You have to lighten your possession load!
You must start living as a minimalist!
Our lives are to be a training exercise for our roles after death.
Christina's worldly consumed life started my thought process,
Then my thoughts drift to my best friend, Dutchman.
Consumed for the past twenty years by accumulation of wealth.
Numerous homes, in numerous countries, around the world,
And all that goes with the massive consumption of wealth!
Yeah, he is not receptive to this philosophical realignment!
Yet, there was a time,
Before marriage,
Before children,
Before everything,
When he stood with me,
Willing to risk life itself for the cause of Jesus!
More than once!
I wonder if the seeds of that young wild Irishman are still in there,
Waiting to take over once he loses all.
And then figures it out!
He must start living as a minimalist!
As must I!
sigh.....
That would be in the light of Paul's writings.
The problem is that our Western Culture is so far from Biblical truth, thanks to Greek culture, that to state the problem really is not going to be understood today, much at all!
How does one rectify the problem without landing solidly in piety! Which is condemned as sin by Jesus and several of the Apostles!
Life is what we know:
we can see it,
smell it,
taste it,
touch it.
We live it after-all!
We have a harder problem when we are required to abandon that understanding of life!
And that is exactly what Jesus requires us to do!
We are told to live by faith, not by sight!
That would be faith in God,
Not your 401-Ks!
So many in Christianity have bought into the Dave Ramsey school of unbalanced wealth!
"A little bit for God, a whole lot for me!"
"I am living the life of faith! And the dividends look great!"
But God told us to not go into debt,
Yet we are mostly all are in debt!
God told us our wealth is to be His, not ours!"
Yet we give a tenth, supposedly (we estimate 2% in our church!),
And then whine about it! .....
Something is out of square here!
If our lives are really to be His, in whole,
Not just in tenths!
Then what must change?
Well, you have to stop pursuing the almighty buck,
For starters!
You have to get out of debt!
No, property which is sellable is not a debt!
You have to lighten your possession load!
You must start living as a minimalist!
Our lives are to be a training exercise for our roles after death.
Christina's worldly consumed life started my thought process,
Then my thoughts drift to my best friend, Dutchman.
Consumed for the past twenty years by accumulation of wealth.
Numerous homes, in numerous countries, around the world,
And all that goes with the massive consumption of wealth!
Yeah, he is not receptive to this philosophical realignment!
Yet, there was a time,
Before marriage,
Before children,
Before everything,
When he stood with me,
Willing to risk life itself for the cause of Jesus!
More than once!
I wonder if the seeds of that young wild Irishman are still in there,
Waiting to take over once he loses all.
And then figures it out!
He must start living as a minimalist!
As must I!
sigh.....
June 1, 2019
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