LOL! I have recently been visiting Rutland and lost in the memories of a 123 degree day in the Salt River Valley! I gave up trying to work, it was impossible! So, I headed over to the local theater, a place with a working air conditioner and settled back to watch something called the Rutles and cool off.
And I was treated to the utter weirdness of Eric Idle and his friends in a total satire on the Beatles.
Enjoy! And Rut out!
November 29, 2014
November 28, 2014
Fun Sunday
Sunday was a hoot. It started off with a lighthearted Sunday School, wherein the teacher lost control with an icebreaker: what one thing would your spouse or friends say about you .... I went with, "amazing", since all of my children have said that of me when I gave them what they wanted. Of course, others, including the teacher have in the past also said that of me with a quizzical look in their eyes. The class went downhill from there with the others in the class giving their answers and then explanations. I think what should have been a 5 minute exercise - pretty much consumed the class - as there was so much laughter!
Then the Moog lady was back! Only with a smaller machine this time which I really wanted to get my hands on! She brought her husband, whom is a Spanish guitarist. Wow, I almost applauded! How un-Baptist of me! Heavens the hinges may have cracked on those massive doors! As I watched them play, I think I have them figured out. He an Air Force officer, assigned to Okinawa probably in the late 1940's or very early 1950's. She very much Okinawan. That would work for her being in on the early movement for the Moog and account for both their ages. That early Moog has to represent a large amount of money in its day ....
As I finish off this week's postings, since Saturday was posted two weeks ago, I am still recovering from my heart surgery, from my last act of Klutz and a severe reaction to my statin drug.
If all goes as expected I am at the Seattle Art Museum, avoiding the crowds .....
Hope you are home and not shopping today!
Then the Moog lady was back! Only with a smaller machine this time which I really wanted to get my hands on! She brought her husband, whom is a Spanish guitarist. Wow, I almost applauded! How un-Baptist of me! Heavens the hinges may have cracked on those massive doors! As I watched them play, I think I have them figured out. He an Air Force officer, assigned to Okinawa probably in the late 1940's or very early 1950's. She very much Okinawan. That would work for her being in on the early movement for the Moog and account for both their ages. That early Moog has to represent a large amount of money in its day ....
As I finish off this week's postings, since Saturday was posted two weeks ago, I am still recovering from my heart surgery, from my last act of Klutz and a severe reaction to my statin drug.
If all goes as expected I am at the Seattle Art Museum, avoiding the crowds .....
Hope you are home and not shopping today!
November 27, 2014
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!
Some oh so politically incorrect humor and a rather funny way to celebrate this Thanksgiving Day!
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!
November 25, 2014
So You Want To Go To Dinner
I was talking with youngest daughter. She was hungry, she wanted me to make dinner, I had no desire to even make me dinner! We decided to go out for Chinese food.
There is really only one way to get to the Chinese food ... only ... the road was blocked off by police cars and emergency vehicles! Well, you just can not cut off the only main drag through the downtown without arousing the curiosity of all 33,000 in this town! Get my nose inserted into the doings!
I have mentioned in the past that this little burg gambled that by becoming the alcohol destination of the area, this would raise sufficient capital to finance the city government. Of course, as anyone with a brain knows, introduce unlimited alcohol and you introduce unlimited police, emergency personal and lawsuit costs! But in their myopic rush for cash, they never thought beyond the unlimited funds they expected. And so the town runs about 50% of its budget behind now in support of the alcohol culture and death this has brought.
Tonight, we see a VW Passat, not being controlled by its drunk driver, which took out an unknown car in a head on. The unknown car, because there is not enough in it to identify even the maker, then went through the side of a log cabin. Driver of unknown car was killed on impact, the VW driver was whisked off to the regional trauma center in Seattle, about 12 miles away. I imagine by now they are in lock up. As it turns out, the killed driver was one of my clients back in my computer days ... small world, very sorrowful.
Such an avoidable tragedy ...
It set a poor mood at dinner. Someone was so drunk at 5:00 to have caused this accident. What a legacy we are defining for the culture of the next generation around here. Sigh.
So, my mind wandered to other tables and conversations. Across from me ... okay how would you classify a set of transgender females whom have become men and were now, uhm, a couple. What the heck! The world we are stuck with! Dear Lord!
Next to me on the left was a couple of guys, brothers whom seem to be meeting for the first time in years. It took little for me to understand that the younger is the successful morally corrupt brother. The other an aerospace engineer and it seems he had never successfully been on a date, he was in his late 50's. And it seems he had been on at least one space shot! What the heck!?!?!? I thought that the space corp was manned by swingers! Wow! What a pair.
It was an interesting conversation between the two of them. No, I doubt they will ever be close, they have nothing, NOTHING, in common.
And it made me sad to think of both Nicky (2 years younger) and Jeff (15 years younger), my two brothers whom both died in their teen years. I will always wonder what it would have been like to have had a brother whom survived their youth ... Obviously, I was destined to be the nerd.
And so now on Saturday guess what! Yes, a repeat of the Friday accident only it was at least off in the outer areas of this burg. Drunk driver, at high speed, becomes airborne, and snaps one of the high tension power poles, about 20 feet off the ground!, for the north end of town and southern Seattle. As for me, well I live on the power grid which supplies Vashon Island - so almost am never dead powerwise. :)
I have mentioned in the past that this little burg gambled that by becoming the alcohol destination of the area, this would raise sufficient capital to finance the city government. Of course, as anyone with a brain knows, introduce unlimited alcohol and you introduce unlimited police, emergency personal and lawsuit costs! But in their myopic rush for cash, they never thought beyond the unlimited funds they expected. And so the town runs about 50% of its budget behind now in support of the alcohol culture and death this has brought.
Tonight, we see a VW Passat, not being controlled by its drunk driver, which took out an unknown car in a head on. The unknown car, because there is not enough in it to identify even the maker, then went through the side of a log cabin. Driver of unknown car was killed on impact, the VW driver was whisked off to the regional trauma center in Seattle, about 12 miles away. I imagine by now they are in lock up. As it turns out, the killed driver was one of my clients back in my computer days ... small world, very sorrowful.
Such an avoidable tragedy ...
It set a poor mood at dinner. Someone was so drunk at 5:00 to have caused this accident. What a legacy we are defining for the culture of the next generation around here. Sigh.
So, my mind wandered to other tables and conversations. Across from me ... okay how would you classify a set of transgender females whom have become men and were now, uhm, a couple. What the heck! The world we are stuck with! Dear Lord!
Next to me on the left was a couple of guys, brothers whom seem to be meeting for the first time in years. It took little for me to understand that the younger is the successful morally corrupt brother. The other an aerospace engineer and it seems he had never successfully been on a date, he was in his late 50's. And it seems he had been on at least one space shot! What the heck!?!?!? I thought that the space corp was manned by swingers! Wow! What a pair.
It was an interesting conversation between the two of them. No, I doubt they will ever be close, they have nothing, NOTHING, in common.
And so now on Saturday guess what! Yes, a repeat of the Friday accident only it was at least off in the outer areas of this burg. Drunk driver, at high speed, becomes airborne, and snaps one of the high tension power poles, about 20 feet off the ground!, for the north end of town and southern Seattle. As for me, well I live on the power grid which supplies Vashon Island - so almost am never dead powerwise. :)
November 24, 2014
What The ...
Sometime even I amaze myself. I am the reigning King of Klutz, but honestly, sometimes I even surprise myself at just what a toll holding on to this title costs me!
Last Wednesday I was working on my Thursday lecture I was to deliver and something fell on to the floor. So, still sitting in my chair, I bent over and picked it up ... What was to follow I think defies physics as Stephen Hawking understands them ...
So, literally, my next memory from bending over, is that I am now sitting in a plastic packing crate I was filling to move stuff out of the TV room and into storage. The box had shattered and I gently felt along my leg as best I could but no warm liquids, so I was not cut as near I could tell.
But, I could not move because the chair I was sitting in had flipped over and whacked me over the head! It now lay across the top of me and due to its weight - 60 pounds?, I could not get it off of me! So I sat there, folded in half with this hurking big chair laying over me. Eventually, someone walked through the TV room and removed the chair and helped what was left of me back up into it!
As I said, I think physics says this was an impossible situation! But, it happened in any event. So bruised from behind left knee, up the leg, across my buttocks, and then across my missing vertebrae ... unfortunately.
So, end of last week really sucked badly and many codeines sacrificed their lives to knock me out and ease the pain.
Sigh ...
All Hail, the reigning King of Klutz.
Last Wednesday I was working on my Thursday lecture I was to deliver and something fell on to the floor. So, still sitting in my chair, I bent over and picked it up ... What was to follow I think defies physics as Stephen Hawking understands them ...
So, literally, my next memory from bending over, is that I am now sitting in a plastic packing crate I was filling to move stuff out of the TV room and into storage. The box had shattered and I gently felt along my leg as best I could but no warm liquids, so I was not cut as near I could tell.
But, I could not move because the chair I was sitting in had flipped over and whacked me over the head! It now lay across the top of me and due to its weight - 60 pounds?, I could not get it off of me! So I sat there, folded in half with this hurking big chair laying over me. Eventually, someone walked through the TV room and removed the chair and helped what was left of me back up into it!
As I said, I think physics says this was an impossible situation! But, it happened in any event. So bruised from behind left knee, up the leg, across my buttocks, and then across my missing vertebrae ... unfortunately.
So, end of last week really sucked badly and many codeines sacrificed their lives to knock me out and ease the pain.
Sigh ...
All Hail, the reigning King of Klutz.
November 22, 2014
Musical Saturday Morning
Not a 1980's group, but boy have they captured the feel, rhythm and sound of the '80's! Synthesizers all the way! Hope to listen to more of their music one of these days - but way too busy at this time!
Not sure about the "What Would Mohammed Do" on the one guy's guitar, but what-ever (roll my eyes) - someone needs a lesson in reality I guess. But, that is a real problem in our society today, a complete lack of understanding of history and reality. I see it everywhere these days and yet it was not even 250 years since Frederick managed to destroy the Turks at Vienna - how soon we forget ... As we chomp on our French crescents and forget these were invented to commemorate the decisive victory of that two day battle - er - slaughter.
So, a nice blast from the blast, with a very distinctive Aussie sound. Perhaps they are? That is how little I have found out about them, but wanted to share ...
Not sure about the "What Would Mohammed Do" on the one guy's guitar, but what-ever (roll my eyes) - someone needs a lesson in reality I guess. But, that is a real problem in our society today, a complete lack of understanding of history and reality. I see it everywhere these days and yet it was not even 250 years since Frederick managed to destroy the Turks at Vienna - how soon we forget ... As we chomp on our French crescents and forget these were invented to commemorate the decisive victory of that two day battle - er - slaughter.
So, a nice blast from the blast, with a very distinctive Aussie sound. Perhaps they are? That is how little I have found out about them, but wanted to share ...
November 21, 2014
ISIS / ISIL
I was at a local store and the clerk had a heavy accent. "What is your accent?"
"I am from Bosnia."
My heart skipped a beat. I tried to keep the conversation going. "When did you move here?"
"I only came to find someone, but it has been a long time and I can not find him."
I let the conversation die, no I was not going to ask the next question, I feared the answer. For I was suddenly reminded in an odd way of the problem Bosnia and I have, which I believe is on the Little Apple Blog. I tend to forget that incident in my life, when the NATO refused to hold those responsible for the murder of my cousin Bernard, much less the over 1,000 executed with him. Wrong place, wrong time, medics not excepted. And I devised a devious justice to make them pay, and they did. By the end of that summer, no army had a working sniper left. And I slept well, knowing that murderers would be held for judgement by God. Like my ancestor Fredrick, I do not believe that all Muslims are bad, just the ones whom would murder their neighbors .... Yet, I live knowing for decades now that I bear a price on my head in Muslim held lands.
And with the rise of ISIS/ISIL, I have watched carefully the murderous swath they have cut through the Middle East and in random attacks even here in America and Canada. I have thought on this and the resolution is not a pretty one, for innocents would die - because the enemy can not be readily identified until they attack.
There have been numerous and sometimes contradictory stories and images of the anti-Christian slaughter on going in Iraq and Syria. They cannot all be confirmed. But, there is a pattern emerging - no one is immune from the barbaric acts of radical Muslim. Really just the reappearance of the Turks whom swept out of Egypt in the seventh century.
Do you remember a photo earlier this year of the corpse of a little girl, about ten years old, wearing a dress and leotards. She lies sprawled on the floor with her arms outstretched. For a presumably poor girl, she looks like she's dressed in her Sunday best. Everything about her looks normal, except that her head is missing. This photo makes you sick. It's right out of a horror movie. Something within you dies when you look at it.
Internet news media reported this is a Christian girl in Iraq beheaded by ISIS. Others report a different scenario for her death. But either way radical Islam killed her.
How do you justify killing a child? Much less a medic helping your own people? And more importantly, how could you do so in the name of God? As of this writing, Christians continue to be killed in Iraq simply because they won't convert to Islam. It is convert, pay a strict tax, flee, or die. In some cases, just convert or die continues to be the repeated phrase.
In one sense, this is not new. Radical Islam has been on the march since 632. Most of the population of the land they conquered, forced conversions upon or killed were conquered Christians. By 950, 50% of what had been Christendom was now under Muslim control, and the vast majority has never reverted back.
But today's leaders of Islam are more barbaric. ISIS refers to the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. They are intent in re-creating the caliphate in the Middle East. Their spokesman said they won't stop until they fly the black flag of Islam over the U.S. White House. (Yah, sure ya betcha ... Just hold that thought for a while.)
Jesus told us that the day will come when men will kill you and think they are offering a service to God. They are deceived in thinking that God is pleased with this offering.
The irony is technically Islam teaches that Muslims will one day stand before whom on the Day of Judgment? Answer: Jesus. They teach that He will return one day. But they also teach the first thing He'll do is destroy all the crosses. They certainly don't believe in an avenging Jesus as Lord.
If radical Muslims think that by killing Christians Allah is somehow pleased, how wrong are they? Are they not succeeding? What is there to hold them accountable other than a few bombs hitting vacant buildings in the night? Yeah, the news hype begs the question: "whom is telling ISIS the targets in advance?". It is not by mistake ISIS captures weapons dropped to groups friendly with the west. Someone is feeding them information out of Washington DC.
Saul of Tarsus thought he was pleasing God by being party to the stoning of the first Christian martyr, Stephen. Before he was converted to Christianity on the road to Damascus, Saul was breathing out murderous threats to innocent Christians in Damascus. He threw some in jail - in some cases, they may well have died there.
Saul was just as much a religious terrorist as anyone in ISIS! Saul did what he did because he thought this was God's will for him to do so. Of course, God had other ideas on the subject and the Apostle Paul was created. For him, there was no more killing of Christians. Paul himself was beheaded for his Christian activities by Nero. Even a religious terrorist with blood on his hands can be converted to Jesus. And yes, murder seems to be repaid, even if you have converted.
Meanwhile, radical Muslims are killing Christians around the world. This is something mandated by Islam; the Koran says in Chapter IX Verse 123 to 'fight the unbelievers and let them find a harshness within you.'
Unfortunately, the enlightened age we have lived in failed to remember that there is a sickness which must always be held in check. Islam marched into Europe through force three hundred years ago, into the East seven hundred years earlier and continued a fight only ending at Vienna in 1683 with a slaughter. And this harshness referred to, to be shown those whom do not believe - a harshness which would kill innocent Christians, even children, in Iraq and Syria. This barbarism should be a wake-up call to the West.
Just as my cousin's death was to me ...
"I am from Bosnia."
My heart skipped a beat. I tried to keep the conversation going. "When did you move here?"
"I only came to find someone, but it has been a long time and I can not find him."
I let the conversation die, no I was not going to ask the next question, I feared the answer. For I was suddenly reminded in an odd way of the problem Bosnia and I have, which I believe is on the Little Apple Blog. I tend to forget that incident in my life, when the NATO refused to hold those responsible for the murder of my cousin Bernard, much less the over 1,000 executed with him. Wrong place, wrong time, medics not excepted. And I devised a devious justice to make them pay, and they did. By the end of that summer, no army had a working sniper left. And I slept well, knowing that murderers would be held for judgement by God. Like my ancestor Fredrick, I do not believe that all Muslims are bad, just the ones whom would murder their neighbors .... Yet, I live knowing for decades now that I bear a price on my head in Muslim held lands.
And with the rise of ISIS/ISIL, I have watched carefully the murderous swath they have cut through the Middle East and in random attacks even here in America and Canada. I have thought on this and the resolution is not a pretty one, for innocents would die - because the enemy can not be readily identified until they attack.
There have been numerous and sometimes contradictory stories and images of the anti-Christian slaughter on going in Iraq and Syria. They cannot all be confirmed. But, there is a pattern emerging - no one is immune from the barbaric acts of radical Muslim. Really just the reappearance of the Turks whom swept out of Egypt in the seventh century.
Do you remember a photo earlier this year of the corpse of a little girl, about ten years old, wearing a dress and leotards. She lies sprawled on the floor with her arms outstretched. For a presumably poor girl, she looks like she's dressed in her Sunday best. Everything about her looks normal, except that her head is missing. This photo makes you sick. It's right out of a horror movie. Something within you dies when you look at it.
Internet news media reported this is a Christian girl in Iraq beheaded by ISIS. Others report a different scenario for her death. But either way radical Islam killed her.
How do you justify killing a child? Much less a medic helping your own people? And more importantly, how could you do so in the name of God? As of this writing, Christians continue to be killed in Iraq simply because they won't convert to Islam. It is convert, pay a strict tax, flee, or die. In some cases, just convert or die continues to be the repeated phrase.
In one sense, this is not new. Radical Islam has been on the march since 632. Most of the population of the land they conquered, forced conversions upon or killed were conquered Christians. By 950, 50% of what had been Christendom was now under Muslim control, and the vast majority has never reverted back.
But today's leaders of Islam are more barbaric. ISIS refers to the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. They are intent in re-creating the caliphate in the Middle East. Their spokesman said they won't stop until they fly the black flag of Islam over the U.S. White House. (Yah, sure ya betcha ... Just hold that thought for a while.)
Jesus told us that the day will come when men will kill you and think they are offering a service to God. They are deceived in thinking that God is pleased with this offering.
The irony is technically Islam teaches that Muslims will one day stand before whom on the Day of Judgment? Answer: Jesus. They teach that He will return one day. But they also teach the first thing He'll do is destroy all the crosses. They certainly don't believe in an avenging Jesus as Lord.
If radical Muslims think that by killing Christians Allah is somehow pleased, how wrong are they? Are they not succeeding? What is there to hold them accountable other than a few bombs hitting vacant buildings in the night? Yeah, the news hype begs the question: "whom is telling ISIS the targets in advance?". It is not by mistake ISIS captures weapons dropped to groups friendly with the west. Someone is feeding them information out of Washington DC.
Saul of Tarsus thought he was pleasing God by being party to the stoning of the first Christian martyr, Stephen. Before he was converted to Christianity on the road to Damascus, Saul was breathing out murderous threats to innocent Christians in Damascus. He threw some in jail - in some cases, they may well have died there.
Saul was just as much a religious terrorist as anyone in ISIS! Saul did what he did because he thought this was God's will for him to do so. Of course, God had other ideas on the subject and the Apostle Paul was created. For him, there was no more killing of Christians. Paul himself was beheaded for his Christian activities by Nero. Even a religious terrorist with blood on his hands can be converted to Jesus. And yes, murder seems to be repaid, even if you have converted.
Meanwhile, radical Muslims are killing Christians around the world. This is something mandated by Islam; the Koran says in Chapter IX Verse 123 to 'fight the unbelievers and let them find a harshness within you.'
Unfortunately, the enlightened age we have lived in failed to remember that there is a sickness which must always be held in check. Islam marched into Europe through force three hundred years ago, into the East seven hundred years earlier and continued a fight only ending at Vienna in 1683 with a slaughter. And this harshness referred to, to be shown those whom do not believe - a harshness which would kill innocent Christians, even children, in Iraq and Syria. This barbarism should be a wake-up call to the West.
Just as my cousin's death was to me ...
November 20, 2014
Jill
So long ago, a pain came into Gaelic Girls backside. This woman was nice enough on a personal level, however, she was completely corrupt on a professional level! And she worked with GG. Her husband is an odd duck, does not exactly fit into any situation well, that I have ever seen him in. Great sense of humor and three of the oddest children in history of humanoids on this planet. Yeah, something really wrong going on in that family.
Saturday, they were coming to visit. It would be fun, we had not seen each other since New Year's Eve, but it seems God had other plans for Jill. Which is sad because Jill was not exactly on par with God, she was a casual observer of religion, counter-cultural in all regards towards Christianity. And she was to die quite unexpectedly.
I hate when someone so much younger than me dies. Not real impressed when those older than me die either. Death brings forth a physical presence that is now missing. And for her, spiritual death as well.
Sunday was her memorial. I could not go but GG had the funds to. She saw most of the old friends there. And there was much infighting I guess. More than a few came just to express their displeasure at Jill's poor professional behavior.
But, the point should have been standing with her family in their hurt they are experiencing, offering comfort and to pray. No, so much easier to grind into the survivors how ruthless Jill had been in her attempts to climb the corporate ladder. She never made it, she just trampled dozens in her attempt.
When my time comes, no doubt I will have my detractors, but I hope that whom ever is left behind in my life will be allowed comfort in their pain, if any, at my passing ...
Saturday, they were coming to visit. It would be fun, we had not seen each other since New Year's Eve, but it seems God had other plans for Jill. Which is sad because Jill was not exactly on par with God, she was a casual observer of religion, counter-cultural in all regards towards Christianity. And she was to die quite unexpectedly.
I hate when someone so much younger than me dies. Not real impressed when those older than me die either. Death brings forth a physical presence that is now missing. And for her, spiritual death as well.
Sunday was her memorial. I could not go but GG had the funds to. She saw most of the old friends there. And there was much infighting I guess. More than a few came just to express their displeasure at Jill's poor professional behavior.
But, the point should have been standing with her family in their hurt they are experiencing, offering comfort and to pray. No, so much easier to grind into the survivors how ruthless Jill had been in her attempts to climb the corporate ladder. She never made it, she just trampled dozens in her attempt.
When my time comes, no doubt I will have my detractors, but I hope that whom ever is left behind in my life will be allowed comfort in their pain, if any, at my passing ...
November 19, 2014
Baby For Sale ...
After work, I was driving along, praising God because I had ended up in a confrontation. Seems I had insulted someone MONTHS ago and it finally boiled over! I was clueless. It had been one of those satirical remarks my humor is so well known for - and someone, not even the target, got hurt feelings. Uhm ... fighting the urge to say it ....
So, we had a meeting. They gave their complaint, I let them know I was surprised by their take on the remark and apologized. We shook hands, end of matter I should expect. But, Satan is a wily creature, I have no doubt this will explode from another direction later. If one person could be sidelined, there will be another too ...
As I drove away, I was praising God! Think about it, clueless Kris had a problem with someone at work and was clueless. No news there - but it had been resolved in a Godly manner! And that is something to praise God about!
Then on the side of the road, by a supermarket enterance, sat an older lady all wrapped up against the cold. A huge sign read, "Fight Abortion, Adopt a Baby". Next to her, her very pregnant daughter ...
Did not take much to put the clue together.
And I was now sad, very sad. For I know of no one looking for a child at this time.
For me, one could be tempted to adopt again. But it has been almost 20 years since I last adopted and it was a mighty pain, not to mention extremely expensive.
But a human life, is a human life. So, I pray for that unborn child, for God's intervention into both its and the mother's life. Known to many whom shared their pain at having adopted out their child, to many whom now adults were adopted at birth and struggle with why their mother would abandon them ...
All of my children are healthy psychologically over being adopted, they realize they had nothing, not even a family. As dysfunctional as mine can be at times, it was more than what they had. My oldest daughter gets it. She can see her children and the differences between them and her at their age. Family, any family, even a dysfunctional family, if better than not having one at all.
I type this with my youngest grandchild at my feet (literally!), meowing and trying to lick my leg. I had told her mother that adoption would have been better than marriage to the father. I was right, the marriage was over before the daughter was born. But, years later I love having my grand-daughter one day a week, which would not have been possible had she be adopted out. However, even at three this little one understood something was wrong with her mother. And it still hurts her, the rejection my daughter had caused in this little one's life ...
All children need a full time family. Sorry, that is just how God built us ...
So, we had a meeting. They gave their complaint, I let them know I was surprised by their take on the remark and apologized. We shook hands, end of matter I should expect. But, Satan is a wily creature, I have no doubt this will explode from another direction later. If one person could be sidelined, there will be another too ...
As I drove away, I was praising God! Think about it, clueless Kris had a problem with someone at work and was clueless. No news there - but it had been resolved in a Godly manner! And that is something to praise God about!
Then on the side of the road, by a supermarket enterance, sat an older lady all wrapped up against the cold. A huge sign read, "Fight Abortion, Adopt a Baby". Next to her, her very pregnant daughter ...
Did not take much to put the clue together.
And I was now sad, very sad. For I know of no one looking for a child at this time.
For me, one could be tempted to adopt again. But it has been almost 20 years since I last adopted and it was a mighty pain, not to mention extremely expensive.
But a human life, is a human life. So, I pray for that unborn child, for God's intervention into both its and the mother's life. Known to many whom shared their pain at having adopted out their child, to many whom now adults were adopted at birth and struggle with why their mother would abandon them ...
All of my children are healthy psychologically over being adopted, they realize they had nothing, not even a family. As dysfunctional as mine can be at times, it was more than what they had. My oldest daughter gets it. She can see her children and the differences between them and her at their age. Family, any family, even a dysfunctional family, if better than not having one at all.
I type this with my youngest grandchild at my feet (literally!), meowing and trying to lick my leg. I had told her mother that adoption would have been better than marriage to the father. I was right, the marriage was over before the daughter was born. But, years later I love having my grand-daughter one day a week, which would not have been possible had she be adopted out. However, even at three this little one understood something was wrong with her mother. And it still hurts her, the rejection my daughter had caused in this little one's life ...
All children need a full time family. Sorry, that is just how God built us ...
November 18, 2014
A Piece of History
Sunday was a bit of a surprise. The group on stage is always the same, very traditional. But today, something a bit different, a wizened old lady was up there, seated to the side. Really small, never seen her before, and she was doing nothing. When the Eucharist came, now she was standing by a box, not doing much, barely moving, strange music filled the air.
Okay, they are playing a tape, whatever, but what is she doing up there? Inquiring minds want to know!
Afterwards, I was to learn that she was one of the original Moog Synthesizers performers from back in the 1960's and apparently quite famous, still collaborating on albums even today! And oh yeah, once you saw the machine you realized just how many miles were on it and how early a model it really was! I was impressed. What are the odds in this little burg, anyone of any notoriety would even pass through here?
My only real experience with a Moog dates me horribly; it rolls back time to the early days of the Maranatha movement and Dutchman's playing with electronics. I remember we had heard a piece from Switch on Bach and he was instantly intrigued ... In the end, we never get even a phoney Moog, as Dutchman got distracted working with lasers and the idea of building a "radar" gun using light instead of radio ways. Well, millions of tickets later, his early work is the pain in everyone's collective ... uhm ... backside. But, it would have been cool to have even built just on one Moog. I wonder if I still have that issue of Popular Electronics somewhere in my storage ... ?
Well, I no longer own a copy of Switch on Bach, but I do have my Jarre's Oxygene to listen to today ...
Okay, they are playing a tape, whatever, but what is she doing up there? Inquiring minds want to know!
Afterwards, I was to learn that she was one of the original Moog Synthesizers performers from back in the 1960's and apparently quite famous, still collaborating on albums even today! And oh yeah, once you saw the machine you realized just how many miles were on it and how early a model it really was! I was impressed. What are the odds in this little burg, anyone of any notoriety would even pass through here?
My only real experience with a Moog dates me horribly; it rolls back time to the early days of the Maranatha movement and Dutchman's playing with electronics. I remember we had heard a piece from Switch on Bach and he was instantly intrigued ... In the end, we never get even a phoney Moog, as Dutchman got distracted working with lasers and the idea of building a "radar" gun using light instead of radio ways. Well, millions of tickets later, his early work is the pain in everyone's collective ... uhm ... backside. But, it would have been cool to have even built just on one Moog. I wonder if I still have that issue of Popular Electronics somewhere in my storage ... ?
Well, I no longer own a copy of Switch on Bach, but I do have my Jarre's Oxygene to listen to today ...
November 17, 2014
Crisis To Faith
Faith is one of those strange unfathomable things. You know it exists, but how do you explain it someone? How do you even quantify it to yourself?
Faith to old Kris was pretty easy. It was easy for me to accept, that is to say believe, because I had seen His power - so if what I had seen was true, then what I could not was just as easy to accept as being true. So many would see me as a rock of faith and certainly God never let me down in any regard. But, Kris was not exactly human back then, so faith then was not the same as faith is required to be now.
And, well, what good is faith if it is never challenged? If you are never pushed to the point of complete and utter failure? If all is always hokey-dokey? And the proof of faith is in it trying. Unfortunately.
As my life continued to spiral out of control, I had no problems with my faith. I knew God would move, that He would correct, I have complete faith in Him and His ability to challenge the evil which surrounded me and overcome it. Yet, all continued to fall apart. But, I stood firm, God was greater than the evil around me, He would have His way.
As you might suspect, I finally reached a point of crisis in my faith. All the legs kicked out from under me, nothing left to support me, my faith utterly crushed but the scenario would not be complete with a final piece of my new nature being given/revealed to me - rammed down my throat. I did not need more revelation, I needed help, I had been running so long without any form of support ... and now I needed help. But, well, everything was now destroyed, I had no one, nothing to draw upon, except for my faith in God, and that He would somehow intervene.
Oh yeah, He did. No, I do not understand why anything went the way that it did. I do not really understand how or why He intervened as He did. Makes no sense what so ever, in fact many would be appalled. But, in the end that is what is important - what is the outcome, how does it honor God, how does any of this affect the Body? What has been the impact on me?
I struggle walking in a shaky faith now, my assurance shattered, but I know that He is faithful, that He is just, that He will have His way and I rely upon Him always using me to His end, not my own. So, I teeter down an unseen road. I know He knows what He is doing, I just no longer can see nor understand ... but I do know I must have trust in Him wholly. And the road stretches out before, I do not understand, but I know that no matter, I must take that step to that new path, I just ... fear ... for I do not know His timing, nor His ways any longer.
What if I am utterly wrong? Well, not going to be the first time in my life, that is for sure! But, if I am wrong, then I will be no better, nor any worse off than I am now. Perhaps that is His entire point, I stand in a vacuum - which I doubt is His desire for anyone. Stepping in any direction, even the wrong one would be superior to where I am now.
Sigh ...
Faith to old Kris was pretty easy. It was easy for me to accept, that is to say believe, because I had seen His power - so if what I had seen was true, then what I could not was just as easy to accept as being true. So many would see me as a rock of faith and certainly God never let me down in any regard. But, Kris was not exactly human back then, so faith then was not the same as faith is required to be now.
And, well, what good is faith if it is never challenged? If you are never pushed to the point of complete and utter failure? If all is always hokey-dokey? And the proof of faith is in it trying. Unfortunately.
As my life continued to spiral out of control, I had no problems with my faith. I knew God would move, that He would correct, I have complete faith in Him and His ability to challenge the evil which surrounded me and overcome it. Yet, all continued to fall apart. But, I stood firm, God was greater than the evil around me, He would have His way.
As you might suspect, I finally reached a point of crisis in my faith. All the legs kicked out from under me, nothing left to support me, my faith utterly crushed but the scenario would not be complete with a final piece of my new nature being given/revealed to me - rammed down my throat. I did not need more revelation, I needed help, I had been running so long without any form of support ... and now I needed help. But, well, everything was now destroyed, I had no one, nothing to draw upon, except for my faith in God, and that He would somehow intervene.
Oh yeah, He did. No, I do not understand why anything went the way that it did. I do not really understand how or why He intervened as He did. Makes no sense what so ever, in fact many would be appalled. But, in the end that is what is important - what is the outcome, how does it honor God, how does any of this affect the Body? What has been the impact on me?
I struggle walking in a shaky faith now, my assurance shattered, but I know that He is faithful, that He is just, that He will have His way and I rely upon Him always using me to His end, not my own. So, I teeter down an unseen road. I know He knows what He is doing, I just no longer can see nor understand ... but I do know I must have trust in Him wholly. And the road stretches out before, I do not understand, but I know that no matter, I must take that step to that new path, I just ... fear ... for I do not know His timing, nor His ways any longer.
What if I am utterly wrong? Well, not going to be the first time in my life, that is for sure! But, if I am wrong, then I will be no better, nor any worse off than I am now. Perhaps that is His entire point, I stand in a vacuum - which I doubt is His desire for anyone. Stepping in any direction, even the wrong one would be superior to where I am now.
Sigh ...
November 15, 2014
November 14, 2014
King of Klutz
It is sad - if not outright pathetic, at how I retain the reigning King of Klutz status. Occasionally, someone locally gives me a good run for my money through the bizarreness of life - but they just lack the lasting power of my personal curse!
Wednesday was a perfect example.
I had a good start to the day, the filleting of my foot 13 days ago finally stopped bleeding - yeah! No more Spray and Washing my socks before washing them! My constant shoulder pain from the day of surgery 18 days ago finally diminished. That annoying cough, probably from the air supply I was on, passed finally as well. Wednesday was a bright sunny morning and I was happy.
But, life intervened.
One of my friends seems to have had their car's cooling system freeze up and I thought, yeah, I should pick up some anti-freeze just in case.
So, I took off and stopped at Red Robin for a burger, which had some weird mayonnaise and seemed to have been heavily laced with chilies. I am allergic to them - urp .... :(
At the store I limped around for like half an hour because they moved everything around in the store and then seem to have laid off anyone whom might have known where anything now is. But I did find everything, including presents for oldest grand-daughter's birthday this weekend.
At the gas station, as the fuel pumped into my bone dry tank - I checked my radiator and found it low, so started pouring the anti-freeze. The day was still good ... but then ....
In a HUGE URP from the jug, anti-freeze gushed all over my clean jeans, underwear, socks and shoes. I had wet underwear and at 35 degrees with a 30 mile per hour wind, I suddenly found myself quite frozen quickly! I dried the jug off, capped it and then put it away. I walked to the fuel pump and it was no longer pumping, I tried to restart the pump but nothing! With the help of a mechanic we found out that the pump seemed to work okay ... my fuel gauge was out, apparently I had plenty of gas in the car!
Back home, clothes in the washing machine, I poured a hot bath and settled down to soak my frozen nethers ... Then I managed to flick my phone into the tub ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to suck it dry with a vacuum cleaner. It fired right up and then shorted out. Now it is on the heater to see if that will help. Sigh ... I think my phone is dead permanently. I guess after tomorrow's flu shot, it is off to find a new phone.
Yeah, no broke Kris, other than a chili gut cleaning and a huge rash from the anti-freeze, I am intact for now ...
Wednesday was a perfect example.
I had a good start to the day, the filleting of my foot 13 days ago finally stopped bleeding - yeah! No more Spray and Washing my socks before washing them! My constant shoulder pain from the day of surgery 18 days ago finally diminished. That annoying cough, probably from the air supply I was on, passed finally as well. Wednesday was a bright sunny morning and I was happy.
But, life intervened.
One of my friends seems to have had their car's cooling system freeze up and I thought, yeah, I should pick up some anti-freeze just in case.
So, I took off and stopped at Red Robin for a burger, which had some weird mayonnaise and seemed to have been heavily laced with chilies. I am allergic to them - urp .... :(
At the store I limped around for like half an hour because they moved everything around in the store and then seem to have laid off anyone whom might have known where anything now is. But I did find everything, including presents for oldest grand-daughter's birthday this weekend.
At the gas station, as the fuel pumped into my bone dry tank - I checked my radiator and found it low, so started pouring the anti-freeze. The day was still good ... but then ....
In a HUGE URP from the jug, anti-freeze gushed all over my clean jeans, underwear, socks and shoes. I had wet underwear and at 35 degrees with a 30 mile per hour wind, I suddenly found myself quite frozen quickly! I dried the jug off, capped it and then put it away. I walked to the fuel pump and it was no longer pumping, I tried to restart the pump but nothing! With the help of a mechanic we found out that the pump seemed to work okay ... my fuel gauge was out, apparently I had plenty of gas in the car!
Back home, clothes in the washing machine, I poured a hot bath and settled down to soak my frozen nethers ... Then I managed to flick my phone into the tub ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to suck it dry with a vacuum cleaner. It fired right up and then shorted out. Now it is on the heater to see if that will help. Sigh ... I think my phone is dead permanently. I guess after tomorrow's flu shot, it is off to find a new phone.
Yeah, no broke Kris, other than a chili gut cleaning and a huge rash from the anti-freeze, I am intact for now ...
November 13, 2014
Exhaustion
I had never felt exhaustion like this before, it was 2010 and one day I had to drive somewhere and I remember I had gone maybe a few blocks when utter exhaustion came over me. I could not understand it. Like waves on a beach it flowed over me. Sometimes there, sometimes not, heck if I could figure out why. Given my life at the time, my doctor decided I was depressed and needed medicated. I passed on that idea, more meds I did not need.
It would come and go, in 2012 I got my first whack from the heart.
In 2013 second whack and two heart stents.
Last month third whack and one more heart stent.
And the exhaustion continues. Sometimes now collapsing me for most of a day - up to 20 hours at a time! Confusing. Why should this be? It was supposed to be caused by the three clogged arteries and two of them are now wide open. And the exhaustion is as bad as ever.
So, I turned to the internet again and this time I started looking at each and every med I take with the word exhaustion attached to it. BINGO! A statin drug popped up as possibly being the culprit! Add to that the years of tendon pain, spasms, joint pain, etc! Most of what I have put up with for years appears to be related to statin drugs and not neuropathy - maybe.
The only reason I am even on a statin is that "everyone" with clogged arteries is on a statin due to cholesterol problems. But, I do not have the problem, never have. I hold the record for lowest test results ever (11 combined)! I have only taken it for years to shut my doctor's whining up. And now, today, will be day number one without taking it.
Yeah, the doctor will throw a fit I am sure but I will wait a month to tell him and see what my next blood test says ... :)
It would come and go, in 2012 I got my first whack from the heart.
In 2013 second whack and two heart stents.
Last month third whack and one more heart stent.
And the exhaustion continues. Sometimes now collapsing me for most of a day - up to 20 hours at a time! Confusing. Why should this be? It was supposed to be caused by the three clogged arteries and two of them are now wide open. And the exhaustion is as bad as ever.
So, I turned to the internet again and this time I started looking at each and every med I take with the word exhaustion attached to it. BINGO! A statin drug popped up as possibly being the culprit! Add to that the years of tendon pain, spasms, joint pain, etc! Most of what I have put up with for years appears to be related to statin drugs and not neuropathy - maybe.
The only reason I am even on a statin is that "everyone" with clogged arteries is on a statin due to cholesterol problems. But, I do not have the problem, never have. I hold the record for lowest test results ever (11 combined)! I have only taken it for years to shut my doctor's whining up. And now, today, will be day number one without taking it.
Yeah, the doctor will throw a fit I am sure but I will wait a month to tell him and see what my next blood test says ... :)
November 12, 2014
Under The Tree
It is a large chestnut tree, sits beside a narrow lane, perhaps 140 years or so old. On one side is a flower garden for acres, the other is a park with a matching tree just 60 feet away. I had found that spot several years ago while metal detecting, apparently lots of people have picnicked and lost stuff around its roots for a century!
So, I was driving by there one rainy afternoon and was surprised to see a man sitting in a full set of oilskins. It was a driving rain and he just sat there, motionless. I slowed as he might be dead or injured. He wasn't, he was crying.
Day after day, rain or sun, morning, noon or eve, he was there just sitting. I thought him homeless but the almost new Saab at the park was apparently his. He had no physical need, but his grief was very real and very great. And never a word would he say. In fact his eyes never even focused on me when I would speak to him.
The mystery was solved one day, an anniversary it seems, the day his daughter's Nissan slammed into that tree at high speed. Gathered with him were the parents of her friends, also lost in a crash that never should have been.
Losing a loved one hurts. Things you know you never said, things you know you never should have said, time never spent, future days lost - never to be.
I was despondent Monday morning, as my post obviously showed. And God was merciful and as I shut down my computer to go to lunch, a text popped up from my eldest daughter:
"You have been a wonderful amazing dad for the last 16 years. thank you so much for everything, i can't imagine my life without you. i am so proud to call you my papa. i might not share your DNA but it takes more than that to be a father. you are truly amazing and i love you. happy adoption day. love you."
Yes, happy adoption day my daughter. It is hard to believe that it has been 16 years, much less that for half of those you have been married and raising a family ...
PS: I drove by that old tree and it stood there all alone ... The father no loner there, but I well imagine his daughter is not forgotten ...
So, I was driving by there one rainy afternoon and was surprised to see a man sitting in a full set of oilskins. It was a driving rain and he just sat there, motionless. I slowed as he might be dead or injured. He wasn't, he was crying.
Day after day, rain or sun, morning, noon or eve, he was there just sitting. I thought him homeless but the almost new Saab at the park was apparently his. He had no physical need, but his grief was very real and very great. And never a word would he say. In fact his eyes never even focused on me when I would speak to him.
The mystery was solved one day, an anniversary it seems, the day his daughter's Nissan slammed into that tree at high speed. Gathered with him were the parents of her friends, also lost in a crash that never should have been.
Losing a loved one hurts. Things you know you never said, things you know you never should have said, time never spent, future days lost - never to be.
I was despondent Monday morning, as my post obviously showed. And God was merciful and as I shut down my computer to go to lunch, a text popped up from my eldest daughter:
"You have been a wonderful amazing dad for the last 16 years. thank you so much for everything, i can't imagine my life without you. i am so proud to call you my papa. i might not share your DNA but it takes more than that to be a father. you are truly amazing and i love you. happy adoption day. love you."
Yes, happy adoption day my daughter. It is hard to believe that it has been 16 years, much less that for half of those you have been married and raising a family ...
PS: I drove by that old tree and it stood there all alone ... The father no loner there, but I well imagine his daughter is not forgotten ...
November 11, 2014
Veteran's Day
Tuesday, the American Veterans Day, a holiday wherein one should remember or honor US war veterans. Of course, it is in reality Armistice Day, the signing of the declaration ending The Great War, aka, World War I - for everyone except the French whom found it easier to attack and kill Germans for five more months now that they were unarmed. Of course, never expect the USA to honor actual history nor celebrate a worldwide observed day for those in WWI. But, I digress ...
And there are lots of Vets amongst my friends on Facebook. And every year there is a list someone posts thanking all of the Vets and irritatingly I am constantly on that list! No, I never served in any war, nor in any army. I may have been trained by the US Army, but I was turned over to the Israelis to do something politically incorrect, unlike ALL of my friends whom went to Vietnam. I balked and refused. Bad Kris. And yet, somehow my name keeps popping up! I swear there must be some list my name is on, somewhere, even though the US Army swears all my records were destroyed. Hmmmm ... why don't I trust them? Oh yeah, because they played me for a fool for three years and then lied about it in Federal Court for the next two years! Grrrrrr!, as my second daughter is so prone to say.
I know in my father's family, you would have to go back to the Muslim siege of Vienna, to find one of his ancestors whom had actually been involved in a war. Yeah, his name was Fredrick and the ancestor of my grandfather Plattner, and since a Habsburg, also related to my grandmother distantly. Of course being Swiss sort of kept grandfather, and should have my father, out of such situations.
In my mother's family, only grandmother's last husband had been in WWII. Her father had been a drummer boy in the Zulu War. And, her first husband had ancestors in the US Civil War, on both sides, yeah same person. And he, was the grandson of Daniel Boone, whom seemed unable not to get in a fight. Not exactly a meritorious service record amongst the Plattner nor the Scotts forefathers!
Grandmother is buried in the veterans cemetery here in King County of Washington. No she was not a Vet but she did serve as the librarian at a US Army airfield outside of Portland, Oregon during World War II. When a bookshelf collapsed, she broke her left foot rather badly and received an Army pension for the rest of her life! We used to joke that she received a Purple Heart for her injuries. Well until she married Reuben, her last husband, he did earn the Purple Heart by being hit by a sniper on the second day of the Italian invasion in WWII. Of course, he took his in the butt and was the butt of many jokes! Yeah, he never talked about it.
Even though I never served in any military, that does not mean I am not appreciative of those whom have. One of my few "friends" at the church I attend was in Iraq I, a tank commander, and yeah pretty messed up mentally. And I do pray for him because his life has not been easy, only compounded by problems with his wife, another victim of that war. But no one counts the costs on families these wars create.
Take a moment and remember ... any freedom you have in this world was bought with a price someone had to pay ...
And there are lots of Vets amongst my friends on Facebook. And every year there is a list someone posts thanking all of the Vets and irritatingly I am constantly on that list! No, I never served in any war, nor in any army. I may have been trained by the US Army, but I was turned over to the Israelis to do something politically incorrect, unlike ALL of my friends whom went to Vietnam. I balked and refused. Bad Kris. And yet, somehow my name keeps popping up! I swear there must be some list my name is on, somewhere, even though the US Army swears all my records were destroyed. Hmmmm ... why don't I trust them? Oh yeah, because they played me for a fool for three years and then lied about it in Federal Court for the next two years! Grrrrrr!, as my second daughter is so prone to say.
I know in my father's family, you would have to go back to the Muslim siege of Vienna, to find one of his ancestors whom had actually been involved in a war. Yeah, his name was Fredrick and the ancestor of my grandfather Plattner, and since a Habsburg, also related to my grandmother distantly. Of course being Swiss sort of kept grandfather, and should have my father, out of such situations.
In my mother's family, only grandmother's last husband had been in WWII. Her father had been a drummer boy in the Zulu War. And, her first husband had ancestors in the US Civil War, on both sides, yeah same person. And he, was the grandson of Daniel Boone, whom seemed unable not to get in a fight. Not exactly a meritorious service record amongst the Plattner nor the Scotts forefathers!
Grandmother is buried in the veterans cemetery here in King County of Washington. No she was not a Vet but she did serve as the librarian at a US Army airfield outside of Portland, Oregon during World War II. When a bookshelf collapsed, she broke her left foot rather badly and received an Army pension for the rest of her life! We used to joke that she received a Purple Heart for her injuries. Well until she married Reuben, her last husband, he did earn the Purple Heart by being hit by a sniper on the second day of the Italian invasion in WWII. Of course, he took his in the butt and was the butt of many jokes! Yeah, he never talked about it.
Even though I never served in any military, that does not mean I am not appreciative of those whom have. One of my few "friends" at the church I attend was in Iraq I, a tank commander, and yeah pretty messed up mentally. And I do pray for him because his life has not been easy, only compounded by problems with his wife, another victim of that war. But no one counts the costs on families these wars create.
Take a moment and remember ... any freedom you have in this world was bought with a price someone had to pay ...
November 10, 2014
Sadness
Ever so often I become morose and introspective ... a dangerous situation for me to be in ... for the old me. This is the first time since a new Kris was born. So, it is with some interest I look to see how this turns out, perhaps different, perhaps not. We will know by tomorrow I am sure.
And so I despair.
The weekend's antique show was a bit of a bust. I was unable to put anything together to take, just still flat on my lips from the heart surgery. I can lift maybe 8 pounds only but bending over is impossible. So, I just helped my mother with her sales, wrapping and packaging, being nice to people when she was unable to be. She has become more bitter across the past year and that took its toll on my heart - luckily I carry nitro everywhere anymore.
Cotton Candy girl did not show up for the first time since I started doing this show five years ago. I had looked forward to catching up with her and learning what is new. And heavens knows, with a football game on Sunday, NO ONE showed up, except bored dealers. So plenty of chat time, just no one to chat with really. Now I will have to hunt through Facebook and see if she is still on there!
The damaged girl, I have often spoken of in the past, that works for the show as I had learned last year, was there. She talked with me again this year. Old Kris would have known what to say. New Kris? Not so much. I understand her pain now and there are no words to comfort the destruction of a human being. Empathy, guess I have learned it now. And the value of silence in a discussion ...
My friend melted down and I tried to communicate but I fear there were too many walls, too many filters in play, for me to get through.
My other friend has not talked to me in weeks it seems like, so it has been lonely dwelling on the present and the future. Forget the past, it sucks too much to bring up in my mind.
Swede and Dutchman have been busy. Amazing how busy retired guys can get! Of course, Dutchman is feverishly working on the next generation of stored energy and a cancer detection system. Swede, I understand has been busy with joining a church up where he is living.
Ever so often my mother's older brother pops up. And he did via telephone to report that his wife died again. It is interesting how they keep dying on him. This was number three that we know of. Although I am considered the black sheep of the family - mostly because I do not do as told, he truly is the black sheep of mother's family. It seems he never read of a sin he did not want to commit - and did - with associated prison time in there as well. He has been hiding in Alaska since 1965! Grandmother had a detective do a search several years ago to see if there were any outstanding warrants on him, but he appears clean. So the family does not understand his refusal to come down to Washington State, since everyone else lives here or is in and out of here continually.
Interestingly, for as black a sheep as he is, for all of the sin he has committed, a few years back he came to Jesus for salvation. Really, think on that! Someone so lost in sin that there was nothing he had not done, nor would not do - somehow the Holy Spirit got to him and drove him to his knees! That alone tells me that there is NO ONE on Earth whom is not reachable!
But, just because you are a new creation does not mean that you do not have to carry the stigma of whom you were around with you. The past is the past, but Satan will always dredge it up if he can to shake your new faith and hopefully lure you back into sin again! The trick is to know that he will and always be prepared to throw it back in his face and upon Jesus shoulders. Yeah, a reoccurring theme for all Christians with a past.
I feel sorry for the man, at having lost his wife. Loneliness is hard, probably more so when you are in your 80's and in need and a long winter stretches before him.
If 2014 were to be summed up for me it would be to say that I now know loneliness and understand the importance of true friendship. I have learned of the need for love and to love. All while surrounded by an emotional vacuum. And I know despair.
So I understand my uncle's predicament. Does not make him any nicer of a man, he still carries the curse of being (not a very nice person), but he is my brother now in the Lord and whether he is still a (not a very nice person) or truly changed, he is worth of my prayers and compassion in the Lord.
How much more so for those I truly care about?
Well, I can wallow in my despair - or I can pray for my friends and family - those I personally care for and about. Casting that despair to Jesus and though not filled with joy, still devote my energies towards the betterment of others through prayer and not upon myself ...
And so I despair.
The weekend's antique show was a bit of a bust. I was unable to put anything together to take, just still flat on my lips from the heart surgery. I can lift maybe 8 pounds only but bending over is impossible. So, I just helped my mother with her sales, wrapping and packaging, being nice to people when she was unable to be. She has become more bitter across the past year and that took its toll on my heart - luckily I carry nitro everywhere anymore.
Cotton Candy girl did not show up for the first time since I started doing this show five years ago. I had looked forward to catching up with her and learning what is new. And heavens knows, with a football game on Sunday, NO ONE showed up, except bored dealers. So plenty of chat time, just no one to chat with really. Now I will have to hunt through Facebook and see if she is still on there!
The damaged girl, I have often spoken of in the past, that works for the show as I had learned last year, was there. She talked with me again this year. Old Kris would have known what to say. New Kris? Not so much. I understand her pain now and there are no words to comfort the destruction of a human being. Empathy, guess I have learned it now. And the value of silence in a discussion ...
My friend melted down and I tried to communicate but I fear there were too many walls, too many filters in play, for me to get through.
My other friend has not talked to me in weeks it seems like, so it has been lonely dwelling on the present and the future. Forget the past, it sucks too much to bring up in my mind.
Swede and Dutchman have been busy. Amazing how busy retired guys can get! Of course, Dutchman is feverishly working on the next generation of stored energy and a cancer detection system. Swede, I understand has been busy with joining a church up where he is living.
Ever so often my mother's older brother pops up. And he did via telephone to report that his wife died again. It is interesting how they keep dying on him. This was number three that we know of. Although I am considered the black sheep of the family - mostly because I do not do as told, he truly is the black sheep of mother's family. It seems he never read of a sin he did not want to commit - and did - with associated prison time in there as well. He has been hiding in Alaska since 1965! Grandmother had a detective do a search several years ago to see if there were any outstanding warrants on him, but he appears clean. So the family does not understand his refusal to come down to Washington State, since everyone else lives here or is in and out of here continually.
Interestingly, for as black a sheep as he is, for all of the sin he has committed, a few years back he came to Jesus for salvation. Really, think on that! Someone so lost in sin that there was nothing he had not done, nor would not do - somehow the Holy Spirit got to him and drove him to his knees! That alone tells me that there is NO ONE on Earth whom is not reachable!
But, just because you are a new creation does not mean that you do not have to carry the stigma of whom you were around with you. The past is the past, but Satan will always dredge it up if he can to shake your new faith and hopefully lure you back into sin again! The trick is to know that he will and always be prepared to throw it back in his face and upon Jesus shoulders. Yeah, a reoccurring theme for all Christians with a past.
I feel sorry for the man, at having lost his wife. Loneliness is hard, probably more so when you are in your 80's and in need and a long winter stretches before him.
If 2014 were to be summed up for me it would be to say that I now know loneliness and understand the importance of true friendship. I have learned of the need for love and to love. All while surrounded by an emotional vacuum. And I know despair.
So I understand my uncle's predicament. Does not make him any nicer of a man, he still carries the curse of being (not a very nice person), but he is my brother now in the Lord and whether he is still a (not a very nice person) or truly changed, he is worth of my prayers and compassion in the Lord.
How much more so for those I truly care about?
Well, I can wallow in my despair - or I can pray for my friends and family - those I personally care for and about. Casting that despair to Jesus and though not filled with joy, still devote my energies towards the betterment of others through prayer and not upon myself ...
November 8, 2014
November 7, 2014
Exhaustion
It has been a hard week. I am overcome by both physical and emotional exhaustion.
Most of the week I was certain that my heart has something going wrong with it. Constant pain, almost like having a heart attack ... and yet, not quite. Nitros just did not seem to do anything, so I had to figure it was something else. But what? I pondered and prayed about this for days, when I was able to stay awake. Some days, I could only stay awake for four hours and not in a row.
Then I remembered something from a distant past. I remember having severe chest pain for which no cause could be found. Weeks of testing and nightmare for me to go through, since I love needles and doctors so much - NOT!, and they found out that for some reason there was something about my ribs. Like crystals had adhered to the ribs and were abrading each other with each breath. I also remembered that the cure was to keep a heating pad on my chest and back.
Amazingly, it worked and gave many more hours of awake time!
Emotionally, I thought I might be depressed. The last several months have been excruciatingly difficult. I am being forced to rely upon those whom are proven unreliable and honestly do not have my health even as a concern. So I have to rely on God that He alone will hold me together because there is nothing else.
Well enough whining!
But I do have to stop typing. This all I can do as my wrists are so weak from the surgery.
ciao!
Most of the week I was certain that my heart has something going wrong with it. Constant pain, almost like having a heart attack ... and yet, not quite. Nitros just did not seem to do anything, so I had to figure it was something else. But what? I pondered and prayed about this for days, when I was able to stay awake. Some days, I could only stay awake for four hours and not in a row.
Then I remembered something from a distant past. I remember having severe chest pain for which no cause could be found. Weeks of testing and nightmare for me to go through, since I love needles and doctors so much - NOT!, and they found out that for some reason there was something about my ribs. Like crystals had adhered to the ribs and were abrading each other with each breath. I also remembered that the cure was to keep a heating pad on my chest and back.
Amazingly, it worked and gave many more hours of awake time!
Emotionally, I thought I might be depressed. The last several months have been excruciatingly difficult. I am being forced to rely upon those whom are proven unreliable and honestly do not have my health even as a concern. So I have to rely on God that He alone will hold me together because there is nothing else.
Well enough whining!
But I do have to stop typing. This all I can do as my wrists are so weak from the surgery.
ciao!
November 6, 2014
Monday Lunch
Every Monday, I take myself out for lunch to Azteca - a local Mexican chain based on Jalisco style of cooking. It gives me a chance to just be around people for a change - listen to life going on for others. Okay, and eat some good Mexican food as well!
Usually, the place is deserted on Mondays. Not sure why people do not seem to go out for lunch on Monday's, but it gives me a chance to chat with a few of the waiters I have come to know well across the past five years. But, this Monday was an utter zoo! Every table taken! So, I got to listen in on some conversations that were interesting ...
From the table next to my booth, I learned about the specials current at Wal-Mart. Good to know but I do not shop at China's number one customer (officially yeah!). And really I could not follow along with the conversation delving into where the best crack was available from. Really? I do not "get" the drug problem in this country, nor the desire to detach from reality. I wondered if their choice of crack came from China as well ...
Behind me were two men discussing the medical billing field. They were creating some form of middle man effort to do billings for a doctor I use. They seem to think that by increasing patient costs by 10%, would yield them a living income and be of value to the doctors they are lining up. And they are hiring their spouses and children to pad the payroll it seems. Do you ever get the urge to get up and just *&*&&$ slap someone at another table? I sure did. But, my wrists still hurt from surgery last week. But, I can dream :)
I learned that my favorite waitress was not in because it was her birthday. Must be getting mighty close to 30 for her. But, her stand in is a new girl from Jalisco and her English is still in the learning stage. LOL! Not that I am complaining, this darn language took me perhaps 15 years to conquer! And written English only in the past 9 years! Another good reason to have lost my earlier blogs! How embarrassing they must have been!
The founder for the chain's daughter was in one of my youth groups back in the early 1980's. "My Boys" had nicknamed her Angel, as in Death Angel because she was the death of all fragile male egos. LOL. I like seeing my kids from decades ago and know they are doing well. She married a pretty nice man, Christian, and we have had some great conversations on slow days. One of the better Christian males I have observed through the years.
Well time to get my morning going!
Usually, the place is deserted on Mondays. Not sure why people do not seem to go out for lunch on Monday's, but it gives me a chance to chat with a few of the waiters I have come to know well across the past five years. But, this Monday was an utter zoo! Every table taken! So, I got to listen in on some conversations that were interesting ...
From the table next to my booth, I learned about the specials current at Wal-Mart. Good to know but I do not shop at China's number one customer (officially yeah!). And really I could not follow along with the conversation delving into where the best crack was available from. Really? I do not "get" the drug problem in this country, nor the desire to detach from reality. I wondered if their choice of crack came from China as well ...
Behind me were two men discussing the medical billing field. They were creating some form of middle man effort to do billings for a doctor I use. They seem to think that by increasing patient costs by 10%, would yield them a living income and be of value to the doctors they are lining up. And they are hiring their spouses and children to pad the payroll it seems. Do you ever get the urge to get up and just *&*&&$ slap someone at another table? I sure did. But, my wrists still hurt from surgery last week. But, I can dream :)
I learned that my favorite waitress was not in because it was her birthday. Must be getting mighty close to 30 for her. But, her stand in is a new girl from Jalisco and her English is still in the learning stage. LOL! Not that I am complaining, this darn language took me perhaps 15 years to conquer! And written English only in the past 9 years! Another good reason to have lost my earlier blogs! How embarrassing they must have been!
The founder for the chain's daughter was in one of my youth groups back in the early 1980's. "My Boys" had nicknamed her Angel, as in Death Angel because she was the death of all fragile male egos. LOL. I like seeing my kids from decades ago and know they are doing well. She married a pretty nice man, Christian, and we have had some great conversations on slow days. One of the better Christian males I have observed through the years.
Well time to get my morning going!
November 5, 2014
Thinking About Dirt
So, yesterday I commented that I was wondering about racism and what kinds of soil a racist would be, thinking on Mark 4:10-20.
Again, with racism, the problem is one of PRIDE, the worst of all sin before God, because through pride you are trying to define yourself as God and your beliefs as being one with God. And, well, you are not God and God's thoughts are so far beyond your own that your sin should immediately be obvious to you ... if you were a Christian. Your attempts to elevate yourself in others eyes, by putting down a class or race of people, just does not bode well within Christianity. Welcome to the pagan christian faith of America. Though prejudice and racism is a worldwide problem within the Christian faith. And well, if your heart and mind are set against the very people God would have you reach out to ... hmmmm, I wonder what God would do, if you were His?
I think back to a cold evening in Seattle, in my college days, some Dutch lady named Corrie Ten Boom was speaking. I listened to her testimony and later spoke with her at length in private. I had a problem with some of the things she had said. And we discussed in depth about her learning to drop her hostility and hatred for Germans - to be able to see them as people whom God needed to reach as well. Very moving. God had showed her the sin that separated her from Him. She could have clung to her hatred and prejudice, but by choosing to conform to God's ways, she became a powerful tool for Him to use, for His ends and the salvation of quite a few people, even Germans!
Across decades of being a Christian whom knows his sin before God, yeah its pride, I can tell you it is subtle. Try as I may it is so hard not to fall into the pit of believing you are smarter, when you are! And knowing you were created smarter than the average, you believe that your input is important and others is something that should not even be communicated when it is so embarrassing! Pride, yeah, not what God whats in my heart, mind or on my lips.
So, though I may have an intelligence prejudice problem, God keeps me mighty humble through the often failures of my body. I see the balancing act He does in my life and I do appreciate it! Because, left a lone, which is what I used to prefer, I can manage quite nicely without anyone in my life! Except, I need people now for help. Gotta get that on my To Do List - find new friends ... sigh ...
But back to yesterday's idea.
There Are Different Kinds of Soil
Not all dirt is the same.
Not all dirt is equal.
If dirt is the example of receptiveness to the Gospel to the human heart in these verses,
Then consider what Jesus tells us, that only one type of dirt is ready for the Gospel and to accept it.
So, the dirt, which has been prepared by God, is the one where the Gospel can take root and grow.
See People Within The Moment
We do not possess the knowledge to know whom to tell about the Gospel to.
We could save a great deal of time, money, frustration, if we did!
But, God wants the entire world to hear His message, not just the chosen few!
Just because someone will not listen today, does not mean they will not suddenly understand tomorrow.
That understanding is part of the ministry of the Holy Spirit.
And events, such as a close death, make people stop for a moment and think about reality.
God's truth will change people - there is always a reaction to it, even if it is rejection.
Inspect Your Own Dirt
Our job is not to inspect, grade, judge, etc someone else's dirt.
Are you productive or unproductive soil for God?
Or are you too busy?
Or investing in yourself and not God's desires?
Have you become the compressed hard-pan dirt and non productive?
Are you the rocky dirt, destined to be superficial and too busy?
Perhaps you are he crowded garden, where self interest chokes out what God could be doing?
Keep Your Dirt Ready
Keep yourself before God.
Invest in His ways.
If it benefits you, it probably is not going to be what God wanted.
No excuses here!
Your soil needs to be kept tilled, watered, weeded, always ready for God to plant more seed!
You are supposed to be His, serving Him, constantly learning obedience.
You possess the Holy Spirit, if you are a Christian, and do not need to be told what to do.
God is a big boy, He will tell you, if you are receptive, exactly what you should be doing.
Listen, confirm through knowledge of the Scripture, then act!
(and that assumes you know and understand the Bible's message!)
Again, with racism, the problem is one of PRIDE, the worst of all sin before God, because through pride you are trying to define yourself as God and your beliefs as being one with God. And, well, you are not God and God's thoughts are so far beyond your own that your sin should immediately be obvious to you ... if you were a Christian. Your attempts to elevate yourself in others eyes, by putting down a class or race of people, just does not bode well within Christianity. Welcome to the pagan christian faith of America. Though prejudice and racism is a worldwide problem within the Christian faith. And well, if your heart and mind are set against the very people God would have you reach out to ... hmmmm, I wonder what God would do, if you were His?
I think back to a cold evening in Seattle, in my college days, some Dutch lady named Corrie Ten Boom was speaking. I listened to her testimony and later spoke with her at length in private. I had a problem with some of the things she had said. And we discussed in depth about her learning to drop her hostility and hatred for Germans - to be able to see them as people whom God needed to reach as well. Very moving. God had showed her the sin that separated her from Him. She could have clung to her hatred and prejudice, but by choosing to conform to God's ways, she became a powerful tool for Him to use, for His ends and the salvation of quite a few people, even Germans!
Across decades of being a Christian whom knows his sin before God, yeah its pride, I can tell you it is subtle. Try as I may it is so hard not to fall into the pit of believing you are smarter, when you are! And knowing you were created smarter than the average, you believe that your input is important and others is something that should not even be communicated when it is so embarrassing! Pride, yeah, not what God whats in my heart, mind or on my lips.
So, though I may have an intelligence prejudice problem, God keeps me mighty humble through the often failures of my body. I see the balancing act He does in my life and I do appreciate it! Because, left a lone, which is what I used to prefer, I can manage quite nicely without anyone in my life! Except, I need people now for help. Gotta get that on my To Do List - find new friends ... sigh ...
But back to yesterday's idea.
There Are Different Kinds of Soil
Not all dirt is the same.
Not all dirt is equal.
If dirt is the example of receptiveness to the Gospel to the human heart in these verses,
Then consider what Jesus tells us, that only one type of dirt is ready for the Gospel and to accept it.
So, the dirt, which has been prepared by God, is the one where the Gospel can take root and grow.
See People Within The Moment
We do not possess the knowledge to know whom to tell about the Gospel to.
We could save a great deal of time, money, frustration, if we did!
But, God wants the entire world to hear His message, not just the chosen few!
Just because someone will not listen today, does not mean they will not suddenly understand tomorrow.
That understanding is part of the ministry of the Holy Spirit.
And events, such as a close death, make people stop for a moment and think about reality.
God's truth will change people - there is always a reaction to it, even if it is rejection.
Inspect Your Own Dirt
Our job is not to inspect, grade, judge, etc someone else's dirt.
Are you productive or unproductive soil for God?
Or are you too busy?
Or investing in yourself and not God's desires?
Have you become the compressed hard-pan dirt and non productive?
Are you the rocky dirt, destined to be superficial and too busy?
Perhaps you are he crowded garden, where self interest chokes out what God could be doing?
Keep Your Dirt Ready
Keep yourself before God.
Invest in His ways.
If it benefits you, it probably is not going to be what God wanted.
No excuses here!
Your soil needs to be kept tilled, watered, weeded, always ready for God to plant more seed!
You are supposed to be His, serving Him, constantly learning obedience.
You possess the Holy Spirit, if you are a Christian, and do not need to be told what to do.
God is a big boy, He will tell you, if you are receptive, exactly what you should be doing.
Listen, confirm through knowledge of the Scripture, then act!
(and that assumes you know and understand the Bible's message!)
November 4, 2014
Brittany Maynard
The sanctity of life, I have written on this before in my other blogs and really do not want to rehash all of that again. But ...
So, the poster child now for "Death With Dignity" is Brittany Maynard; young, articulate, pretty, showing us all the rosy path to assisted suicide in Oregon. The perfect choice for those with terminal conditions, painful conditions, or too tired to live. I remember when Oregon was thinking of enacting this law, just how poorly conceived it was. Because, my mind always slips back to three things I know ...
First, that human life is precious. It was conceived of and created by God for His purposes, not our own. He is in control of the start and finish. And though we may wish to flatter ourselves that we can choose our own endings - well, I doubt it. If you were going to die at 7:00 on November 1st - it could have been by His choosing and means. Your desire to end on your terms merely renders His method ineffective. But, I am willing to bet to the second, is when your death was scheduled for anyway!
Second, I have had terminal cancer now three times. Yet, somehow, God seems to have disappointed my doctors predictions time after time again. Heavens yes! I considered suicide once. I was in horrible pain, because mine was tumors in the spinal cord - my entire body literally was affected since the entire nervous system had been compromised. You really do not know pain until you experience spasms so badly your flesh is torn apart and you have to tape your hands and feet to stop them from being ripped to pieces!
The other two times were equally as bad, though the cancers were localized. So, I do understand Ms. Maynard's choice. However, in my being is the understanding of the preciousness of life - and God's demand to control it sovereignly.
Third, I have seen a great deal of death in my life. People I have tried to rescue and it was unfortunately their time. And, I have learned ...
Too many have I held in their last moments. Whether coming upon a car which slammed into a tree on a lonely stretch of road, or an unknown climber on Longs Peak, or my great-aunt in critical care as her heart transplant failed. Everyone dies ... our cultural unfortunately rejects this idea however.
Swedish Rocket Scientist's father died many decades ago. It was the first Christian funeral I had ever to. Personally, I feared the man and avoided him at all costs! They read his diary at the funeral and I learned about a man whom discovered his life at 60, he died at 65 and one week, his first retirement check in his pocket. He had become a Christian! He told about his growth and discovery of what it meant to be human, as well as, to be a man. He told about the choice between becoming a vegan to live or go for the Viking life - for as long as God allowed. And he did like his sausages.
And I thought about a Christian I knew of in Albania. He was married, they were very much in love, and his body began to fail. The humanist would say, "Time to end it!" But, he was content to live his days that God allowed him. Oh make no mistake, in Albania in those days, quality of life did not exist and his condition dropped that level even lower. And his family cared for him to the end. There were no complaints. In fact, they showed a love I could not understand. My Danish uncle tried to explain this to me as compassion. I can understand compassion from the standpoint of responsibility - if I accept responsibility for you, I should not club you when you can no longer care for yourself. And yet, as a Christian, I have marveled over this couple often across the last four decades. The world would have turned its back on him and let him die, or offered the alternative of killing him, with his permission of course! Or in Holland, the doctor or town council deciding that you are a burden on the society you live in and ordering your murder. Yeah, Holland, progressive.
Then I think now to Ms. Maynard. Do not know her story, do not actually care what the details are - except that she is the face of death now for the state of Oregon.
Obviously, she did not believe life was precious, that God created her, or that God - in His wisdom - is in control of her life. We know she was terminal with cancer - maybe.
There is nothing beautiful about cancer - it eats you from the inside out.
There is nothing beautiful about wasting away, your features gaunt, your hair falling out or the incontinence.
There is nothing wonderful in sitting with your friends and no one knows what to say.
There is nothing wonderful in thinking about all of the dreams and desires which will never now be.
And yet, there is blessing which comes from not being conquered, from working with others with the same disease or just other cancer patients. I remember my rocking collecting friend's wife's funeral, over 2,000 in attendance ... she quietly without even him knowing worked up to the day she fell into her coma, with others trying to battle breast cancer, which was killing her. It was stunning the impact and blessing she had been to others.
I pondered this ... is it a blessing to be of assistance to others, even when they are dying? And the answer is yes. The only thing in this life of any value is others - human life - your willingness to invest your time and resources in others. Not just for the living but for the dying as well.
Maybe this is just a sore point right now. I am still trying to recover from my last heart surgery. I feel like a mule has kicked me square in the chest! Yet, I am better than I was before that surgery. Before, I was slowly slipping away again. And, it has been interesting to note the silence amongst my family and friends even a week later.
Yeah, this is not how it is to be. It is however how it is in my life. I did not pick friends or family very well it seems.
So, the poster child now for "Death With Dignity" is Brittany Maynard; young, articulate, pretty, showing us all the rosy path to assisted suicide in Oregon. The perfect choice for those with terminal conditions, painful conditions, or too tired to live. I remember when Oregon was thinking of enacting this law, just how poorly conceived it was. Because, my mind always slips back to three things I know ...
First, that human life is precious. It was conceived of and created by God for His purposes, not our own. He is in control of the start and finish. And though we may wish to flatter ourselves that we can choose our own endings - well, I doubt it. If you were going to die at 7:00 on November 1st - it could have been by His choosing and means. Your desire to end on your terms merely renders His method ineffective. But, I am willing to bet to the second, is when your death was scheduled for anyway!
Second, I have had terminal cancer now three times. Yet, somehow, God seems to have disappointed my doctors predictions time after time again. Heavens yes! I considered suicide once. I was in horrible pain, because mine was tumors in the spinal cord - my entire body literally was affected since the entire nervous system had been compromised. You really do not know pain until you experience spasms so badly your flesh is torn apart and you have to tape your hands and feet to stop them from being ripped to pieces!
The other two times were equally as bad, though the cancers were localized. So, I do understand Ms. Maynard's choice. However, in my being is the understanding of the preciousness of life - and God's demand to control it sovereignly.
Third, I have seen a great deal of death in my life. People I have tried to rescue and it was unfortunately their time. And, I have learned ...
Too many have I held in their last moments. Whether coming upon a car which slammed into a tree on a lonely stretch of road, or an unknown climber on Longs Peak, or my great-aunt in critical care as her heart transplant failed. Everyone dies ... our cultural unfortunately rejects this idea however.
Swedish Rocket Scientist's father died many decades ago. It was the first Christian funeral I had ever to. Personally, I feared the man and avoided him at all costs! They read his diary at the funeral and I learned about a man whom discovered his life at 60, he died at 65 and one week, his first retirement check in his pocket. He had become a Christian! He told about his growth and discovery of what it meant to be human, as well as, to be a man. He told about the choice between becoming a vegan to live or go for the Viking life - for as long as God allowed. And he did like his sausages.
And I thought about a Christian I knew of in Albania. He was married, they were very much in love, and his body began to fail. The humanist would say, "Time to end it!" But, he was content to live his days that God allowed him. Oh make no mistake, in Albania in those days, quality of life did not exist and his condition dropped that level even lower. And his family cared for him to the end. There were no complaints. In fact, they showed a love I could not understand. My Danish uncle tried to explain this to me as compassion. I can understand compassion from the standpoint of responsibility - if I accept responsibility for you, I should not club you when you can no longer care for yourself. And yet, as a Christian, I have marveled over this couple often across the last four decades. The world would have turned its back on him and let him die, or offered the alternative of killing him, with his permission of course! Or in Holland, the doctor or town council deciding that you are a burden on the society you live in and ordering your murder. Yeah, Holland, progressive.
Then I think now to Ms. Maynard. Do not know her story, do not actually care what the details are - except that she is the face of death now for the state of Oregon.
Obviously, she did not believe life was precious, that God created her, or that God - in His wisdom - is in control of her life. We know she was terminal with cancer - maybe.
There is nothing beautiful about cancer - it eats you from the inside out.
There is nothing beautiful about wasting away, your features gaunt, your hair falling out or the incontinence.
There is nothing wonderful in sitting with your friends and no one knows what to say.
There is nothing wonderful in thinking about all of the dreams and desires which will never now be.
And yet, there is blessing which comes from not being conquered, from working with others with the same disease or just other cancer patients. I remember my rocking collecting friend's wife's funeral, over 2,000 in attendance ... she quietly without even him knowing worked up to the day she fell into her coma, with others trying to battle breast cancer, which was killing her. It was stunning the impact and blessing she had been to others.
I pondered this ... is it a blessing to be of assistance to others, even when they are dying? And the answer is yes. The only thing in this life of any value is others - human life - your willingness to invest your time and resources in others. Not just for the living but for the dying as well.
Maybe this is just a sore point right now. I am still trying to recover from my last heart surgery. I feel like a mule has kicked me square in the chest! Yet, I am better than I was before that surgery. Before, I was slowly slipping away again. And, it has been interesting to note the silence amongst my family and friends even a week later.
Yeah, this is not how it is to be. It is however how it is in my life. I did not pick friends or family very well it seems.
November 3, 2014
Sunday School Microcosm
I have not made Sunday School in many weeks due to my heart going down the toilet on me, so I flipped a coin and ended up going. Usually, it is pretty much a wasted 90 minutes for me. Not that I know everything, but they teach to the concepts of the American school of Western Theology ... aka - paganism and call it Christianity. Sigh. Okay maybe overly general but not far off from the reality of it.
Usually, the morning starts off with everyone introducing themselves, utter waste of time but when there are guests or new members to the class it is nice. Steve's, my antagonist I had respected, wife was there with her daughter. Peggy numerous times looked at me and she knew I can read the pain in her soul at her sudden loss of two weeks ago. What can you say? Probably not, "Sorry I missed the funeral, I was actually in heart surgery at the time ...." Wrong thing to say to the widow of someone whose husband just died of sudden heart failure. Sigh.
Her daughter, kept looking at me piercingly. I wondered if she remembered me from my very first youth group - oh so many decades ago. She was an attitudinal teenager back then and I remember - oh - so well! Her and her little click made visitors want to go to another church! And, not surprisingly, she seems to continue to be on the trailing edge of reality. Guess life never taught her the lessons she needed to learn when she was young - or she ignored them.
Then we are forced to do an icebreaker, yeah I know people love them, I am just not one of those people. I do not like being drawn out, I will not make myself transparent to those I do not trust - and as the last few years have shown, no one in that room is safe. Or, even 50% safe.
But, before the leader could ask the question, someone blurted out about the Seahawks game ... remember, pagan class. Which then started a discussion on exactly what race does Russell Wilson, the quarterback, belong to? I turned and looked at the guy like he was from Mars. Really? He is younger than me, a local and he is making a racist setup statement? And, oh yeah, they came ...
I will admit that growing up without exposure to any minority group nor prejudice has left without any appreciation for either. The color of your skin is about as important to me as whom your grandparents were - irrelevant! And outside of a cultural problem with East Indians, whom have earned their reputation with me - I am not likely at all to attribute any set of characteristics to someone based upon race or skin color!
God does not seem to care in my Bible, so why do members of the pagan christian church of America?
In fact it would bode well for this white centric culture to remember that Jesus, whom they claim "saved" them and they serve, was not white in the least ... Perhaps a member of the Caucasian race but definitely not white.
I had lots of down time yesterday, something is wrong inside of me, from the surgery. So, I was resting and thinking about the different types of ground the sower threw the seed on ... which pile of dirt is a racist? I wonder ...
If you can judge, condemn, discount a man based solely on his skin color ... is it even possible to be a Christian? It takes an amazing about of PRIDE (worst sin of all!) to elevate yourself over others because their skin color is not your skin color. Make you think a bit there ...
Usually, the morning starts off with everyone introducing themselves, utter waste of time but when there are guests or new members to the class it is nice. Steve's, my antagonist I had respected, wife was there with her daughter. Peggy numerous times looked at me and she knew I can read the pain in her soul at her sudden loss of two weeks ago. What can you say? Probably not, "Sorry I missed the funeral, I was actually in heart surgery at the time ...." Wrong thing to say to the widow of someone whose husband just died of sudden heart failure. Sigh.
Her daughter, kept looking at me piercingly. I wondered if she remembered me from my very first youth group - oh so many decades ago. She was an attitudinal teenager back then and I remember - oh - so well! Her and her little click made visitors want to go to another church! And, not surprisingly, she seems to continue to be on the trailing edge of reality. Guess life never taught her the lessons she needed to learn when she was young - or she ignored them.
Then we are forced to do an icebreaker, yeah I know people love them, I am just not one of those people. I do not like being drawn out, I will not make myself transparent to those I do not trust - and as the last few years have shown, no one in that room is safe. Or, even 50% safe.
But, before the leader could ask the question, someone blurted out about the Seahawks game ... remember, pagan class. Which then started a discussion on exactly what race does Russell Wilson, the quarterback, belong to? I turned and looked at the guy like he was from Mars. Really? He is younger than me, a local and he is making a racist setup statement? And, oh yeah, they came ...
I will admit that growing up without exposure to any minority group nor prejudice has left without any appreciation for either. The color of your skin is about as important to me as whom your grandparents were - irrelevant! And outside of a cultural problem with East Indians, whom have earned their reputation with me - I am not likely at all to attribute any set of characteristics to someone based upon race or skin color!
God does not seem to care in my Bible, so why do members of the pagan christian church of America?
In fact it would bode well for this white centric culture to remember that Jesus, whom they claim "saved" them and they serve, was not white in the least ... Perhaps a member of the Caucasian race but definitely not white.
I had lots of down time yesterday, something is wrong inside of me, from the surgery. So, I was resting and thinking about the different types of ground the sower threw the seed on ... which pile of dirt is a racist? I wonder ...
If you can judge, condemn, discount a man based solely on his skin color ... is it even possible to be a Christian? It takes an amazing about of PRIDE (worst sin of all!) to elevate yourself over others because their skin color is not your skin color. Make you think a bit there ...
November 1, 2014
Musical Saturday Morning
Yup, it is another first Saturday for a month! And time for another 1980's music video!
So, I was sitting around thinking about the hilarious birthday party I went to two years ago down in Portland, Oregon for one of "by boys" from the mid 1970's. Musically, some of the Scorpions were there and I never had heard of them, that I was aware of. So, I Youtube'd the group, not expecting anything - and loe and behold - I did know one of their songs! I guess they had been more than just a local northwest band.
Here is the one big one, albeit with a whole lot younger Scorpions than treated us to some amazing guitar at the birthday party!!!!
So, I was sitting around thinking about the hilarious birthday party I went to two years ago down in Portland, Oregon for one of "by boys" from the mid 1970's. Musically, some of the Scorpions were there and I never had heard of them, that I was aware of. So, I Youtube'd the group, not expecting anything - and loe and behold - I did know one of their songs! I guess they had been more than just a local northwest band.
Here is the one big one, albeit with a whole lot younger Scorpions than treated us to some amazing guitar at the birthday party!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)