Independence Day: Resurgence

I like action adventure movies!

And Independence Day II does fail on that score!  Lots of action and adventure!

But, I like a story with my action and adventure, and well, the movie falls apart there.  It is sort of like Jurassic Park movies: dinosaur appears, how cute!, then come the crunching and munching and screams!  Flying saucer movies are in the same genre: UFO appears, people die, governments scramble to repel the invasion, and only the heroes survive!

Wait which movie am I talking about?  Oh yeah, the sequel!  Not much different than the first one, other than Will Smith failed to make an appearance.  His loss, we ended up with a fine film without him but his smart ass demeanor would have made for a better film.

Jeff Goldbloom whom fails at acting except in Jurassic anything, held the film together but he was nowhere as much fun.  The director should have known better than to try and get "drama" out of him!  Gees!  Has he never seen a Jeff Goldbloom bomb before?!?!?!?!?

I strongly recommend this film if you are into action adventure and fantasy Sci-Fi.

If you are more Earth bound, well perhaps a Steven Segal or Chuck Norris action adventure fantasy film would be more comforting and still be just as unbelievable!

For me, it is an owner, pure and simple and if you have a cheap theater in town - worth seeing on the big screen!

Grounded

Well, it seems I am grounded.  Too ill to travel! :(

A week ago, I scraped my stump, no nothing I did, a bandaid tore off some skin.

I have been keeping it clean and saturated with Neosporin and I thought it was going well, until yesterday afternoon.

Youngest daughter was celebrating her 25th birthday, party planned at Olive Garden, and my leg would not go on!  I had it off because I was violently ill, it had fit fine in the morning, but in the afternoon - no so much!  And the pain was excruciating!

So, leg is swollen from a staph infection, again, it seems.

Five hours in ER while they argued what to do with me.  Call the infectious disease guy again on me or get me some antibiotics to nuke this!  So, antibiotics ordered, managed to keep down a little soup and massive amounts of tea - trying to stay hydrated in this heat!

So, not likely to be able to travel.  I will miss my friend's funeral.  But, I guess God knows what He is doing and I am not supposed to be there for the fight which will surly erupt!

Sigh.

Maybe in a week or two I will be able to go down and help out, if his wife has need of me.

Sigh.

And it just had to happen at the moment I could pay my respects to my almost life long friend, as well as, probably the last gathering of the kids - no matter how difficult it is going to be.

Sigh.

Contending With A Millennial

A week ago I wrote about running into "Bob" and his problem with his girlfriend, "Elle".  A problem to which there is no resolution, because it takes two to make a relationship but he is only one involved at this point.  And wouldn't you know it, Elle had to talk with me as well!  Like I am some sort of relationship guru ... sigh.

And I guess I have to go back to the qualification to this conversation, that I am cursed with being able to "see" people - I can only attribute this to God, because it is always about what separates people from God.  Yeah, to "know" someone's heart and what it takes to draw them back to God.  Sounds cool doesn't?  It is not ... mostly you just want to throw up, well at least that is its affect on me.

So, Elle is seated opposite me and extremely angry that "Bob" had talked to me about the disintegration of their relationship.  She is naturally defensive, even offensive through the conversation, trying to defend her behavior ... but she makes the normal Millennial mistake.

Millennial's, as a group - not everyone of them!, are narcissus by nature.  No idea why but it almost seems to be a rule.  The generation after them it is the rule with few exceptions!  And I have little tolerance for narcissistic behavior - my father was one and I had my fill of that by age ten!

She sees no problem with her behavior, because it only affects her and is only of her concern.  She is mad because I assume I have some valid viewpoint concerning anything having to do with her.  Bob, also has no input into her life, choices, etc.  He is just another guy that she  hangs with.  I point out that dating is really part of the marriage ritual of finding the perfect guy.  She disagrees.  It is for hanging out and seeing what is out there - having fun - sampling the wares.

"So, Elle, how do you explain playing house with Juan for a month that first year you were with Bob?"

Her face went blank, no one was supposed to know about Juan or her affair with him.  It was in Chile, there was no way I could know anyone that could have known.  She clears her throat nervously.  Juan was a guy she hooked up with on a mission trip and destroyed any attempt at having a witness during.  Satan loves to whack you when you think you have it all together, then make you think  you can cover it up and hide.  But, God, knows.

"He was hot, I was stupid, it was a mistake.  Bob never knew ...."

Her eyes told me she wondered at how I could know and whether I had said anything to Bob or not, or whom had I told?

"Well, then what about Marc then?"

She started coughing on her coffee.  Marc was a longer affair, about five months and she seriously had hoped to marry him - all the while playing with Bob as a backup candidate.  And no one was supposed to know about him as well.

"Well, he was everything I was looking for in a man.  Super hot, athletic and smart.  But, he just did not work out."

"You realize that just like Juan, he was a player and he played you?"

"NO HE DIDN'T! I am not stupid, I know a player when I see one!"

"Is Bob a player?"

"Of course not!  He is a nice boy."

"But, just not 'hot', right?"

"That has nothing to do with anything!"

"And the abortion, was that nothing as well?"

And so the conversation went for another 15 minutes.  Her conversation filled with lots of the millennials favorite words, I, Me, Mine.  The only point of view being valid: hers.  She makes unilateral decisions affecting both her and Bob, with no concern for Bob at all.  Because the only one really important to her, is her.

"So, Elle, do you want to defend your affair with Roger as well?

She is quite angry by now.  I know too much.  No one was supposed to know anything.  She had been extremely careful.  How could I know so much?  Even her best friends knew nothing of Juan and Marc, much less that she had aborted her and Marc's child.  It is a given that Roger might be known to some, she openly ran around with him for six months.  But, no, no one in the church should have known ... especially random old Kris ... she had stayed far away from the town.

"So, can you start to see that your behavior is having a negative effect on Bob and you?  You are leading Bob on, making him think that he has a chance with you but you are only interested in hot guys whom are players?"

"I am NOT STUPID!  What do you think I am!"

I left that one unanswered, that is between her and God alone after all.

"The point here Elle, is that you really need to decide what it is you want in life: Bob - solid guy whom is very enamored with you; or someone else whom meets your 'hot' requirement and they will play you."

The look on her face told me all I needed to know, the thought of thinking of someone else and their needs is completely foreign to her mind.  I am an alien for even thinking that she should be considering Bob and his feelings and not just her own desires ...

And now we reach the problem I already "knew".  She is separated from God because she places herself first in all aspects of her life and not surprisingly it always leads straight into sin.  When your eyes are on yourself and you are your own God in your life, sin is the only outcome possible.  She was unable to grasp this part of the conversation either.

Remember from the talk last week with Bob, she is a 'Christian' and a regular church goer.  But, for whatever the reason, she can not see that God's requirement for us to live our lives for Him and not ourselves does not even register.  The idea that not falling into bed with every hot guy she meets does not register, much less that this could be sin.  It is just a series of mistakes after all! And mistakes can't be sin.

I tried to turn her attention to seeking God for forgiveness, she had no real interest.  She is a christian after all.  Baptized and everything.  Sigh.  But, hey, don't think less of her, most Christians and christians have similar problems: lying, cheating, stealing, swearing by God's name.  Sex is just another one of the long list of sins that separate us from God.

Unfortunately, along with murder is one of two situation which take a special concern over before God.  And, I could have helped her but ... she has no desire.  And no hope, because she can not understand that narcissism is not a normal point of view and separates her from God and any other feeling creatures.

She went her way, knowing I am weird, unresolved with her issues and Bob will continue to be strung along because she sees no requirement for responsibility in her relationship with him.  No change is possible because she is not the problem, everyone else is ... the ultimate teflon "victim".

And once again, I walk away wondering why I even try.  Why curse me with these situations God?  When almost NO ONE will ever listen.  But, she will go find another church where her behavior will not be condemned, where there are no judgments and she can live her life the way she wants with lots of mistakes.  Sigh ...

And I think of the prophesies of the end times, people rushing around but unable to find God, where everyone does what they think is right in their own eyes ...  We are seeing this coming to fruition.  You can not find God when you are your own god and nothing is ever your own fault or decision.  A victim culture mentality can not possibly see its own crimes before a distant and therefore unknowing god.

But, then I remember that there has been a very small minority whom have listened and God dramatically changed their lives.  No credit to me, I am just the bearer of bad news that gets mocked and ignored, even hated ...... rather consistently.

Death of A Role Model

Saturday, as I was finishing lunch, came the call I knew would come one day and have long dreaded.

It was my mining friend's wife, down in Tucson, to tell me he died right after lunch.

I was already reeling from the blow of losing Don on Thursday with no warning.

Dick, well, he had been failing for years.  That is why I went down in February to be with him.  Yeah, he was weak and fragile, but his mind as sharp as ever.  I expected him to make it another ten years.  But, quite without warning, his heart failed walking from the restaurant to the car.  There was no reviving him.  She called me from the parking lot while the paramedics were doing, what ever it is they do, when someone dies.  And she was stuck because he had driven to the place but she does not drive a stick-shift car.  Sigh ...

So, being the "oldest son", I was called upon to called all of their children to tell them the bad news.  Yeah, just lovely.  I whom had to be gifted with becoming fully human in 2014, now get to survive a death so close to my heart ...  There is no way to complete that sentence.

Across a week, in which God managed to finally tell me that I am stupid and gullible, I also lost my rock collecting friend and now the man whom actually showed me what it meant to be a man.  Dick's life was more than just a bit of a disaster.  From a humanistic standpoint, he was a victim of things far beyond of his control.  His children all estranged by the time I met him, I was just this odd computer dork and he a successful mining engineer.  We went down to Nogales in Mexico one day to look at silver and in the process of the morning - friendship happened.  I became family to him and his wife, he closer than my own father.  It had to be a God thing.

At Wisdom's in February

I often talked to him about his relationship with God, but God was someone whom he blamed for much of the misery in his life.  Yeah, the miseries were real but they were caused by Christians whom were not even trying to live up to God's lowest standard!  His worse blow was from his Bible thumping mother - whom threw him out of the family based on rumors while he was at an engineering camp.  He was innocent, years later the guilty party confessed they had done it, but it was to late, the final straw for his mother was not recoverable.  And he never could resolve his issues with her and thus blamed God.  Mostly like, everyone would have in a similar situation.  So, I struck out being able to talk with him about forgiveness and God.  But he was the most God-ly man I have ever known.  A high moral standard and a level of fairness I wished any Christian possessed in their dealings with the world.  In fact you could run down the checklist of what you expect a Christian to be - and he fit all of them, except for his anger at a God his mother represented.  I often commented at Christian gatherings how I knew a man whom you could not show the need of God to nor forgiveness to - because he knew all of the principals, lived them, yet rejected God.  Argh!  And I prayed steadily for the man, for 40 years ... each of his children and wife.

So, this week will be spent preparing to return to Tucson, to help his widow with the affairs of death.  To see whom ever comes to a memorial one last time - I am not even sure most of his children will come - the dysfunction so great amongst them.

And it seems life goes on, whether you are ready for it or not ...

As I looked for a picture of the two of us from last February, I was struck by the difference between us.  In my mind, the man is a giant!  And wise beyond any I knew.  So, I was stunned to see how I towered over him and in girth as well.  I am actually not much over weight, I could stand to lose 20 pounds or exercise more, but Dick appears the wee Scotsman he was.   But, with a heart of solid gold ....

I am simply crushed .....

Musical Saturday Morning

I am hardly able to post this song.
I am overcome with grief.
Death has struck too close to my heart.
A heart already badly damaged this week.

You are sorely missed my friend,
You are badly needed now,
But you are gone.
And I, very much alone.

Death of a Friend

One of the disadvantages of amnesia - is you can remember nothing, not even decades long friends whom were family.  If they disappeared, for whatever reason, there is no memory, no way to tell them you are suffering.  It does not help if the one you were forced to rely on hated their guts either.

Don Volkman was a brother and I lost him across his cancer treatments and my surgeries, but I could not know it.

I first met Don back in 1980.  I had flown to Bellevue, Washington with a fairly complete presentation of minerals from one of my mining interest areas.  He was an odd duck, he had come to a Friends of Mineralogy Symposium and we both brought minerals from Butte, Montana.  We looked at each other, looked over the displays, shook hands and became lifelong friends.

Whereas my specialty was miineralogy of tellurium and selenium bearing deposits and he copper oxides, we were not in competition - we were complementing each other.  Which of course, strengthened friendship.  Even when I moved and we could only see one another perhaps once or twice a year when I swung through the Pacific Northwest or the Tucson Gem & Mineral Show, it was always to opening of the microscopes and we were off on a 20 - 30 hour session of identifying minerals from the Butte Mines.  (My mining partner, at that time had just finished building a molybdenum concentrator at Butte, so we were awash in specimens!)

We did several field trips, collecting, studying, documenting new finds.  I turned his son on to Mindat, an online database of minerals and localities I had been involved in.  He went on to building a large photo collection on there, as well a definitive book on the fossils of Republic, Washington.

Don often referred to me as his little brother and often stated he wished we really were.  We adopted each other as it was.  His wife would laugh and laugh at the two us.  She was a lovely lady but I have no memory of even her name - just seeing her laughing at the two us while she knitted.

His wife died of cancer many years ago and it was the end of him.  He had met her in Junior High and they never parted, marrying straight out of High School and him taking up work as a welder for a Seattle shipyard.  Eventually, shipbuilding died in Seattle, he was laid off, his wife came down with cancer  and died.  I expected him to disappear for a spell, but not for years.  I would still try to see him once a year but there was no old Don home anymore, he was deflated and defeated.

Then in 2013 my leg problem started, his car had troubles and he was unable to visit and I could not drive but we would talk on the phone.  Then surgery and my mind with all memories went out the window.

It took his daughter getting a hold on me last night to even remember and only vaguely someone whom had been so important to me and my growth in the realm of mineralogy.

As I continue to heal, I had hoped with time, I would remember my friends and they would return.  Not to learn that they could not live that long ...

I cling to the memory he was a Christian - I cling to God's blood covering him, as well as me, to see us both into Heaven ...  the only hope any of us has.

God's Story

The Bible is an incredible story book.  Tales of heros and villians, successes and failures, faithful and unfaithfulness, war and peace, creation and destruction, of good and evil.  Lots of stories to enjoy, lots of examples to learn from.  No matter whom you are, it does not take much reading to find yourself ... somewhere.  For me, often to re-learn about what a moron I am.  Sigh ...

So, that is from my perspective.  But, there are others.  People try to pry things from the Bible it does not say.  They "spiritualize" situations to force what they think should, to be.  They outright lie about what is in the Bible or what the lesson is, to make you think their way or to defend their actions.  But, the Bible exists really only for one reason - to tell of the God's relationship with mankind.  To stretch it beyond this understanding is to misuse the intent of the Bible.

This makes this story book, God's Story Book!  A book of tales about Him and His people.  Okay, there are not His people in there as well, but they do not really fair well across time.

Galatians 1:11-24

In God's Story, we are introduced to the idea that we all have a past.
Paul is talking about himself, defending that he has a right to be heard!
And for all the creditials Paul has, he understood he was doing right!
But he was, oh so, very wrong!

We all have a present.
Paul understood as he wrote to Galatia, that he was forgiven his past offenses to God.
Jesus ministry is all the counts in this life or the next.

We all have a future.
Paul understood and saw Jesus resurrected.
We have victory over death, a life in Jesus.
We are adopted.

We all are to point to Him.
You play a part in His story.
Changes in life and time.
Changes in work and relationships.

Well, something for you to think about, the big picture and not just the mire you may find yourself in.

Shades of Twilight Zone

You ever have something happen so randomly, and yet so poignant with where you are?  It is like God is trying to help you by getting you to help someone through the same issues you can not resolve!  Of course, I no longer have a mind, so any form of issue is brand new to me!  Welcome to my Twilight Zone!

So, I need some ice tea, my preferred drink of choice, and I have three Starbucks within walking distance of me.  Do I want to do a one mile, two mile or three mile round trip walk?  Goal is always the same: tea, and I get to exercise as well!

Walking up to the Starbucks, I see - let us call him - "Bob" in the window.  Just a guy from church, I see ever so often, rarely talk to, we have nothing in common.  Actually, I have yet to meet the man whom I have anything in common with!

Me: "Hey Bob, how goes it?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "It goes."

Me: "Mind if I join you?"

He shrugs, I go get my venti, black ice tea, no sweetener.  And, return.

Me: "So, what is new?"

Bob: "Just got dumped.  Took me a while to figure it out, but yeah, I am pretty sure I got dumped."

Me:  "What happened?"

Bob: "Nothing, that is the problem.  One moment all was perfect, we were in love and BLAM!, she is no longer returning calls, nor answering texts or messages.  If she says anything it is just negative with no substance!"  He shrugs again.

Me: "There someone else?"

Bob: "She says that there isn't, I am sure I am just not what she wants any longer."

Me:  "But ....?"

Bob: "Well, yeah, I am certain she is seeing other guys, suspected it for a year.  She swear there is not but there are too many signs of her heart is chasing someone but it sure is not me ..."

Bob starts crying.  Lord, how I hate it when I cry in the dark much less some random guy in Starbucks.

Me: "Love her?"

Bob:  "Yeah, she was the first real love I think I have ever had."

I have real issues in this area as well.  So, I know I am not going to be the one to help him, but at the same time, what is any man to do in such a situation?

Me: "So she just disappeared from your life, no explanation really and you think she lies to you as well?

Bob, rolling his eyes, "Basically, but it not like she intends to lie to me, she just does it by default."

Me: "Then deceitful?"

Bob: "Well, not that she would ever admit."

I sigh, there are no easy answers in life, especially when we are dealing with love.  I have no doubt he really does love her, else he would not be so broken up over this and discussing it with me in public.  But anything one could say to such a situation is just hollow words, with no real meaning.

Me: "You know it took me a really long time to come to understand that no matter how much you love someone, you can not change them if they do not wish to be changed.  You can not will them to keep you in their life - even if you know you are the best thing in the world for them.  If their opinion could be swayed in your favor - it is only a matter of time until she will leave you again."

Bob nods his head and stares blankly out the window ...

Me: "What you can do is just pray for her, for God's will in their life - if they honestly give God any control of their life.  But, in this day and age it is hard because people are so narcissistic that they can not even see another point of view much less, how they might be wrong."

Bob, looks up and his eyes are angry that I just called his love a narcissist.

Me: "But, it is true, it is the poison of this culture.  It blights so many relationships and narcissism is exactly the opposite of what God calls us to be and do.  Find a Christian narcissist and you just found someone whom is at the very least is nowhere near the path God would have them be on!  And worse yet, they never will understand, because they will never listen, until God opens their eyes or one day they wonder, 'how on Earth did I end up here ...?' "

Bob: "Well, yeah, but she is a Christian, goes to church regularly, we both do ..."

Me: "It all goes back to wanting our 'ears tickled' with what we want to hear and most churches are more than happy to tell you what you want to hear, apply modern psychology to back themselves up and viola!, you have a boat load of Christians all headed in the wrong direction at high speed and assured that they are completely correct."

Bob:  "So, I just pray for her?"

Me:  "No, you also have to honestly forgive her and then you have to honestly forgive yourself!"

Bob: "But, I don't think I can get beyond this to forgive me ..."

Me: "You only forgive,  not forget your love for her.  Equally, you understand that she has gone somewhere else, to someone else, without you.  Maybe God will call her back to you, maybe not.  It takes two heart and two wills being submissive to God.  You are an army of one, when you should be an army of two."

The tears are now back, sigh .....

Me: "Just remember, leave your heart soft for God's leading.  He can easily replace her in your life but you have to be flexible enough to allow Him to work in this area of your life ...."

I had more I could have said more but he is now holding me in a bear hug.  I am pretty sure I am going to throw up.  I pat him on the back and tell him to hang in there and just let God do His thing in his life.  No tearing pictures up, no dartboards with her face on it, act in love - in all things towards her ...  you never know what God will do.

Except for me, because I know he got played.  I had warned him three years ago but no one ever listens to me. much less to what they do not want to know.  And what do I know?  I am the one with no memory, nor anyone in their life ...  And, God will do as He pleases, when we are yield to him and not ourselves ....

Rapid Justice

Saturday night, during the service the church holds as the places gets mighty crowded on Sundays, the choir was to sing.  As usual, the choir room is off limits to all but the choir singers, so whatever is left in there is pretty safe.

Except for last Saturday.

So, a guy, maybe 30 years old, whom is not a member comes into the building during the service and stumbles upon the open choir room!  Of course, wallets, credit cards, jewelry, anything of value vanished with him.  And he might have gotten away with it, except that there are cameras everywhere inside the church!

Sunday afternoon is a community dinner for the poor here, and we have a great many of them!  They also can pick through clothing given during the week, sign up for a trip to the laundry mat (we have lots of quarters!) and other services we host.

A lady in line for the dinner asks why her son's pictures are on the wall ...

Once told, she whips out her cell phone, dials 911 and turns her son in!

So off to the ho-scow he goes, with all of his new found toys from the trip to the mall with stolen credit cards, now confiscated.

Yup, swift justice.

Mighty sad doings.  The victim we are talking about is one of the nicest women I have met in the church.  A recent widow and as poor as a church mouse!  Actually the mouse might be richer because it at least has a place of its own!  And she is robbed of everything she has by this guy --- so he can buy electronic toys.

That is one boy whom really needed more beatings as a child and obviously has not learned from what he did receive, so now he gets to play with the hardened criminals for a while.  I am just guessing he will either come out worse than when he went in, or mighty battered ...

He needs God real bad in his life.

Manitou Springs Cliff Dwelling

Over 100 years ago, there was a thriving tourist trade to Manitou Springs, Colorado.  And an enterprising entrepreneur thought,there must be a way to make a buck here ..

Bottling of the spring waters was taken, cave tours taken, tours of Garden of the God's taken, lots of hotels, eateries .... What was left?  Well, there was a piece of property with a tall cliff face and the base had eroded.  It looked like what Mesa Verde might have looked like before the Anasazi started building their cliff dwellings a thousand years ago!

Not known by many, there were numerous ruins in the area - old Indian dwellings, long abandoned often in the wrong place for the land owners.  He bought up eight of the ruins and then began reconstruction into his cliff face!

The result was an opportunity for tourists to see something that would have taken days if not weeks back then on horse back.  But, empty ruins are a bit boring so he contacted the remains of the Manitou Indians and got them to put on shows at his new site.  That was probably the best thing he did as he preserved something no one really knew or cared about back then ...

Along side of the cliff is a large "pueblo" building which today houses one of the better pottery collections I have seen, gift shops, etc.  The pottery was mostly donated by the Manitou, artifacts collected by the Indians through the years from the sites of the "ancient ones".  Further, the Indians were allowed to use the site, encouraged even.  Parties and celebrations, weddings and demonstrations were ongoing for over 50 years.  I guess there is still a close tie to the Manitou but the only American Indian there the day I visited was me and I am only 1/4th Umatilla!  LOL

There is an open air snack stand with typical fast food.  It is okay but honestly, Manitou Springs area really needs some solid food options!

The little museum is the shining star of this location - if not archaeology of Colorado!

Musical Saturday Morning

I am quite ill, so working ahead a bit on my posts.
I do not think it is something I ate, not do I think it is a bug.
But man do my joints ache!

So, we need something funny, something weird and above all - oh so very Kris!
Enjoy! ... :) 

The Apostate German Church

Cardinal Woelki, is the Archbishop of Cologne, Germany.  A country racked by rioting almost to the point of civil war.  The Muslim masses are rioting, raping, murdering lone Germans and burning their camps.  The Germans are rioting, beating the tar out of any Muslim they find in retaliation.  The German government is trapped between the opinion of its people and the politics of the world and wealth they are being given to host these immigrants.  Chancellor Merkel has got to be feeling the stress!

And Woelki gives a speech, yards from where hundreds of German girls were raped by the Muslims on New Years Eve and calls for tolerance for these immigrants.

And in a twisted allegory, Woelki compares Jesus call for us to care for one another, to that of the refugees plight.

There is an argument there.  If you spiritualize Jesus' teachings, we are to care for the world, but that was never said nor asked by Jesus.  We are to care for one another, even the dogs of the faith, remembering that they are our brothers and sisters.  We are to house, feed, clothe, and witness to them.  Jesus never asked a Jew to do that for a Roman or a Scythian .....  Interesting.

That is the difference between knowing your Scripture and seeing it twisted for an end goal.

End goal?

Yeah, you had better believe he and/or Cologne are being subsidized by the UNHCR - the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, which oversees the rescue and settlement in host countries of refugees.  And these days no one is going to take 10,000 refugees without some Deutsche Marks attached to the deal ....  Which by the way, more than likely came from your tax money paid to your government.

What follows is a translation of the address, read it - consider how reasonable it sounds - then put it into context and see how damning this propaganda piece really is.

*****

Transcript:

00:02		In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
00:09		Amen. May peace be with you. — And with your Spirit.
00:19		Dear sisters, dear brothers, I wholeheartedly welcome you
00:23		to the celebration of our Feast of Corpus Christi here in the Roncalli Square.
00:30		A boat, a refugee boat from the Mediterranean sea.
00:37		What business is that supposed to have with Corpus Christi?
00:41		Both, monstrance and this boat, they have carried Christ.
00:51		The monstrance carried Christ in the form of the Eucharist bread.
00:59		The boat carried Christ in the form of the poor.
01:05		That is why it is dear to me that this boat today is our altar.
01:11		This boat, with hundreds of refugees, with women and children, and elderly people,
01:19		that was drifting in the Mediterranean sea, until it was detected, and the people were saved.
01:25		“Did you recognize me?”, Christ will ask us one day.
01:30		“Did you recognize me in the form of the transformed bread;
01:35		did you recognize me when I was a refugee and came to your country?”
01:50		Dear sisters, dear brothers.
01:55		Nothing unusual for a town by the Rhine, such a ship.
02:02		For 737 years now in our town the feast of Corpus Christi has been observed with special festivity.
02:14		In this long history, the procession of 1945 is unforgotten,
02:25		Which paraded through the ruins of our inner city, almost completely destroyed by war.
02:32		Trusting that God’s love outlasts all vicissitudes of history, and human distress,
02:41		the citizens of Cologne back then professed their belief in the steady presence of Jesus Christ
02:50		in the sacrament of the Holy Communion.
02:54		The misery and the loss of loved ones were impossible to overlook.
03:00		The consequences of the catastrophe of the Nazi dictatorship were impossible to overlook,
03:06		and with it the consequences of the war.
03:10		In this hour such, or similar, catastrophes take place.
03:19		These days it is easier for us than back then, after the war, to distance ourselves.
03:28		Today, one can simply close the newspaper.
03:35		One can simply skip over reading certain things.
03:39		One can switch off the TV, not open the social media.
03:46		See nothing, hear nothing, say nothing.
03:52		Therefore, dear sisters and brothers, we must be careful at our Feast of Corpus Christi today
04:00		at the gold, the beauty, and the dignity of the monstrance,
04:06		not to close our eyes to what it is truly about.
04:12		So when we carry the Lord through the streets of the city now,
04:16		then, dear sisters and brothers, we must — in the monstrance,
04:22		in the Eucharistic form of the bread —
04:26		recognize and heed his maltreated body, his maltreated face, his wounds,
04:36		in the faces and in the bodies of the people of today.
04:44		And we must act accordingly!
04:47		We will not let ourselves be prohibited from speaking!
04:50		It is nearly a year ago that on this wonderful square, in the shadow of our cathedral,
04:57		in pouring rain, we remembered with 23,000 bell tolls the dead
05:04		who have since the year 2000 lost their lives on their flight across the Mediterranean Sea.
05:12		3,327 deaths have since been added to that, according to the refugee relief organization UNHCR.
05:25		Drowned and murdered.
05:28		Whose hopes, whose sorrow, whose dreams and grief,
05:33		whose families and stories God alone knows.
05:39		The waves of the Mediterranean Sea have closed over them.
05:43		3,327 people have perished in boats like this!
05:54		The pictures that you can now see in newspapers and on TV,
06:00		overcrowded and keeling over, they strike right into the center of the heart.
06:06		They must strike the heart
06:09		of European society, dedicated to peace and human rights.
06:17		The people who were in this boat, hardly conceivable, a hundred of them,
06:27		who set out across the sea, they were found and saved, a coincidence, a blessing.
06:39		This boat becomes our altar today.
06:44		The altar is an allegory, a symbol, of the Lord himself.
06:51		He is right there in this boat!
06:54		In this boat that trafficked people, young and old, women and men, across the Mediterranean sea.
07:01		So when, in a few moments, we carry the body of the Lord, that was sacrificed on the cross,
07:08		in the monstrance through the streets of our town,
07:12		then it is the same body
07:17		that we meet in the streets, in the poor, in the torrents of the sea,
07:24		in the unaccompanied minor refugees,
07:27		in the terminally ill, in the traumatised children from regions of civil war,
07:35		in their desperate mothers, and abducted fathers,
07:39		in every woman, in every man, in every child that hopes for a future.
07:46		Their cry for justice, their cry for dignity, their cry for freedom.
07:55		It is God’s cry!
07:58		Let us hear it!
08:01		Because, dear sisters and brothers, whoever lets people drown in the Mediterranean sea, lets God drown.
08:09		A hundred times, a thousand times!
08:12		Whoever tortures people to death in camps, tortures God to death!
08:17		A thousand and a many thousand times!
08:21		Every death, a death of God!
08:25		That is why one day, Christ will ask us:
08:28		“Did you recognize me? Did you truly recognize me?
08:33		In the body of the transformed bread.”
08:37		“Did you recognize me? Truly recognize me? When I was a refugee and came to your town, your country.”
08:45		“Did you recognize me? Truly recognize me? When I needed your help as I was drowning in the sea.”
08:53		And, dear sisters and dear brothers, when we do this, then the Evangel will become alive, today.
09:02		And what happened back then, happens today, too:
09:07		“They all ate and were satisfied.”
09:12		Amen.

Cave of the Winds

 To the north of Manitou Springs, Colorado is an interesting cave complex.  They have several different adventure venues in the caves, I choose the easy trip through the older, easier to access caves.

There are also fly through adventures where you can fly through the canyon on a wire (no thank you!), a rope distraction (double no thank you!) and a nice overview.

A visitor's center also has quick food.  I passed on that idea

They take about 20 people through in a group with a guide whom has a rehearsed script about the caverns and their history.

By and large, this tour went through a series of dead caves.  Little water to keep the features growing and far too many hands which can not be kept off of them.  Oils in your hands will stop the flow of water and thus a dead feature.  Add hundreds of thousands, if not millions of visitors through these caverns over 130 years!  And many of the stalactites have been snapped off by previous visitors - sigh ...

The tightest spot in the caverns is this 38" opening on the trail you follow!

Now remember that my inseam is 34" and I am 6'3"!  Yeah, and I have an artificial leg to boot!

So, scrunched down as low as I can go, bent over like Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I was able to make it through the hole!  I got a standing ovation for those on the other side whom thought the group behind me might have to kick me through the hole!  LOL!

It was a fun adventure.

Garden of the Gods

 Just outside of Colorado Springs and Manitou Springs lay the city park of, Garden of the Gods.  It is a beautiful place of stark rock formations of white and dark red rock structures.

A leisurely drive twists around the various formations.  Lots of pull outs for photo opportunities and bus loads of stupid people whom believe that their knee caps are immune to bumper impacts!  Yeah, they will walk right out in front of you!  Literally, right out in front of a moving car when no ability to even react exists!
So, drive mighty careful if you go there!

There is a trading post on the Manitou Springs side of the park.   Not a bad selection of quick food is on the menu - nothing to write home about either.  A large gift store and I scored a nice Indian pot in their historical section.  Also small touristy gifts for the grand kids.

I stayed in Manitou Springs at a place called the Pike's Peak Inn - it was the nicest place I stayed on the trip - and the cheapest!  It is owned by a Polish woman and her American husband.  She was a hoot, I only saw him in passing. Although Manitou has a nice place to stay, well, eating is a bit of a problem!  I have not found a place I would even consider going back to ...

Stalked By Mennonites

So, I am a Hutterite - an antique flavor of early Reformation Christianity (but we separated over the question of eschatology - they do not believe the Bible on this point).  Think Amish and then make me more conservative.  The Mennonites are another flavor of early Christianity.  If the Hutterites are the conservative right, the Amish just slightly to the left (but reduced from a straight line by living in heresy),  the average Christian on the far left of liberalism, and the Mennonite somewhere in the middle.  You are welcome to disagree but this is just an example to show that the Mennonites are as far from a liberal Christianity as they are from a conservative me.

Now, I am in Golden, Colorado.  The Colorado School of Mines Mineral Museum was closed, so what to do?  Well, I drove around and finally settled on playing tourist and walked around the downtown section.

First stop was an antique shop and I was surprised to find someone dressed Plain with the old style head covering!  I had to stop it was so unexpected.  I thought perhaps she was a Hutterite but if so, why would she be so far away from home and still dressed Plain?!?!?!  And who wears the old style covering still?  If she is lost or in trouble, should I offer to help her?  It is a responsibility on my part to help, this is quite probably a sister.  But, I swore to never talk to another woman (I did not already know) ever again.  Then she turned sharply and our eyes met.  Something else I swore I would never do again was "see" someone, to look literally into their soul.  It is a curse, it is a gift encumbered upon me - to "know" certain people at a glance and how to help them.  I stuck to my vow and left the store, but my spirit still is in turmoil to this day.  Was I supposed to help her?  I felt quite ill, still do.

Second store was an art shop.  As I came around a corner - there she was again!  She looked at me and then rapidly dropped her eyes.  She knew she had been revealed.  I was flustered and left immediately.

Third store was a quilting shop across the street.  And she was there as well!  I sat down on a bench in the shop, if she was in trouble, I would give her a chance to speak.  But, she said nothing - just kept standing to the side and looking at me expectantly.  So I left ... walking down the sidewalk and thinking about this.  Obviously she was following me, but why?  I came to the conclusion in my questioning mind that Satan was playing with me.  He knows how to catch me sideways and I have no idea if this was some sort of a test-trial-trouble, but I was not going to find out without much pray, and there was no time (God always gives you time!), Satan will never ever have another shot at me ever again!  I got in my rental car and left her standing on the sidewalk without having ever said a word to her, or she to me.  She just staring quietly, eyes averted ...

As I drove away, I convinced myself that she had to be a part of the 19th century re-enactment going on.  She was not Plain, nor Hutterite, Amish or Mennonite.  Just a random female, probably trouble and I was better for not having said a word to her!  I prayed for God's hand to guide her, one way or another.  Later in hindsight, I realize that perhaps God had wanted me to help her with whatever her question - to everyone an answer.  But, there was still more to come ...

Fast forward several days and I am now in Westcliffe, the town of my ailing mean, cruel, ex-stepmother has moved to.   Walking down the street, several girls dressed Plain, with the newer style head coverings and hand in hand.  I took note and have to admit my mind raced about the woman in Golden.  Nah, she couldn't be here, could she?  I was going to throw up if she was.

I stopped at the only grocery store and bought a snack while catching up on whom these women were.  I learned about the Mennonites in the valley - not only now, they actually predated settlement in the area by a decade!  I never knew that!  And, I spent much time in the Wet Valley in the 1970's and never saw anyone whom was Plain!  If I had of, I would have moved here in a second!

I could find nothing my step-mother would like at the store so headed to her retirement home.  I spied a bakery on the way and thought, hmmmmmmm.  I walked in and Plain was everywhere.  I was instantly at peace, I knew I was home ... my heart suddenly yearned for Community.  It has been so very long.

But, at 7,900 feet - neither my lungs nor my heart were going to last for long!  I guess it is one thing to know where home is, it is quite another to know that it is unattainable.  As my sister Somer, told me that night, "Well, what are you going to live on?"  Yeah, always so $@#! practical .....

Golden has always been home to me, even though I have chosen to live in many other worldwide locations, Golden is where I know I am at home.  Maybe that was the entire point of the that first woman.  And, at 5,700 feet, much more survivable!  But, again unattainable, one expensive place to even visit much less live these days.

So, in the end, I realize that my stalker probably was a Mennonite and probably a part of the re-enactment of gold rush Golden going on that weekend.  Perhaps even a student at the School of Mines.  She was probably on break and just walking around - or - perhaps something inside of her, saw something inside of me that screamed, "screwed over male" .... or something inside of her knew she needed help and I was safe.  Which ever, I will never know.  I will not be going back to Colorado for a very long time ...

Musical Saturday Morning

Yes, a very odd song, a very odd video, a very odd group (some have been with her under several different names), but Shirley Manson has an amazing voice ... yeah, not portrayed at her best here though.  Makes you wonder ...

The Cost of Sin

Sin is of course doing anything that is outside of what God desires of you.
No, perfection is not even possible, we all foul up, forgiveness always available.
And sometimes, well God is just going to hold you accountable, in order to wake you up!

Near my house is a long straightway, about 2 miles or so, then a sweeping 'S' curve that begins with a a sharp turn.  Back in the early 1970's, when I was in college here (one of the few schools anywhere with computer degree program!)  I had a friend named Steve.  He was a bit wild and bought himself a 1969 Camaro, got drunk and hit that straightway.  The cops had him at 130 miles per hour when he became airborne and hit a telephone pole about 12 feet  off of the ground and then totaled out a store front.  He survived, nothing else did.  Eight months in the hospital and rehab, plus no more teeth.

So, this road has a long history.  My son's ex-fiancee's brother did the typical: blasting down the straight away, missed the curve and - oh yeah - did I mention the cliff at the end of the straightway where a condo development is?  At least once a year, some drunk will total themselves out this way.  Son's almost brother-in-law, driving his mother's new Jeep without a driver's license (suspended for a DUI!), lost his facial bones, teeth and all income for the next 15 or so years!

This time though, it was some high school kids whom decided to steal a car and lacking driving knowledge .... well, see for yourself:

Road blocked, lines on the roadway

One of three power poles brought down

Add a large evergreen tree to the damage

In all seven cars were totaled in the parking lot

The local youth, of course, ran from the scene ... okay, crawled and were quickly apprehended.
Sad part was, on the sidewalk at the top of the hill they blasted across, was the memorial for the 17 year old girl whom was shot to death there several weeks ago.
In all just one sad event from beginning to end.

Welcome to my town, now billed as the most violent town in Washington State ..... sigh .....  I gotta move from this madhouse!

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I was in a conversation and the lyrics of this prose kept coming to mind.  Actually, aside from the conversation, they have often been on my mind for the past many months ...

I seemed to remember a movie about the Spanish Civil War and the lines of this were used in the movie or title or something and somehow I was sure that the story was about Ernest Hemingway's work as a reporter during the conflict ...

But, then again, I have pea soup between my ears.  Nothing comes easily if it is pre-surgery.  Nothing really makes any sense if it does ...

So, I searched on the words:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

 

These words by John Donne were not originally written as a poem - the passage is taken from the 1624, Meditation 17, from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions and was part of a sermon done in prose.

Wow!  1624!  Almost four hundred years ago!  I do not know if you realize the significance there.

Donne was a priest, a lawyer, a poet of his day and a self confessed - well known, sex addict.  The above passage, gives one the idea of the solidarity of man, to all men surrounding him - known and unknown.  This was a bit of a radical view in 17th century where solitary man was more of the concept and he was a Roman Catholic in Elizabethan England.  The bell of course refers to the ringing of the town's bell for each year of your life when you die.  As a child, I can remember counting the rings - in a small town you could know whom just died by counting the ringing of their age!

Donne's radical thought, that we are all interconnected was also carried forward by a piece attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller:

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

The family of man has been horribly fractured through the years - bad theology, bad politics, bad leaders, bad men - all being allowed to get away with their deeds by those whom will do nothing to stop the stampede to destruction unseen forces mankind towards.

A lesson Donne finally figured out late in his life.
A lesson  Niemöller had to live through.
A guaranteed future for all of us, if we can not understand that as Christian we are not a part of this world and its corrupt ways.

Live your life by the rules of the world (Satan's) and you will suffer eternally.
Live your life by the rules of Jesus and understand that you will suffer in this life but be given peace in the next.

For whom does the bell actually toll?
For this world, whose days are numbered by its creator ...

Cassius Clay, Politics, Religion

As you know, I do not wax upon the things of politic - I simply do not care about the subject nor the desires of political parties one way or the other.  The end of politics is always the same: man is corrupt all of his system will only be more corrupt across time.  But ...

My grandfather, John, was a heavyweight boxer.  He was not a big man but he had stood up to the best, had his brains beat out of his head and lived.  Others facing the likes of Max Baer did not fare so well. 
And he taught me to box, though my hand structure is completely wrong and he made sure I understood that if I hit someone straight on - that was the end of that hand and wrist!  Yeah, piano or violin fingers they are called.

So Cassius Clay was someone I watched through the media and respected as a fighter.  When he refused to enlist for the military, it caused quite the ruckus in the early 1960's!  I can remember my father was absolutely livid that anyone could say "NO" to the demands of their country.  You have to remember, he was a NAZI - the state is the supreme being and you will comply!

But, I was born without prejudice nor a desire to kill anyone, by some natural or unnatural means I understood that human life was precious and war was wrong.  Yeah, my father was livid with me quite a bit as well.  And I was unshakable, in spite of the beatings, the government was not the final authority.  And Clay came along, I listened to his words in the news and thought on them.  Something was wrong in this world, but I was too young to fully understand the corruption behind politics nor the history of black America.

While in prison, Clay converted to Islam, changed his name and upon release was not widely accepted by anyone!  He was a disgrace after-all.  But, he was one a heck of a fighter!

Less than a decade later, it was my turn to be drafted.  In the mail came a heavily wax like substance impregnated card telling me that the President of the United States was ordering me to report to such and such place, and time.  Only problem was, I was 17, not 18, and I knew it was not a valid draft document.  For fun I tried lighting it on fire - it would not burn.  I tried to chop it up with a knife or scissors, even an axe - it would not cut.  I tried boiling it - but it remained unchanged.  I tossed it in the garbage.


When I turned 18, I did go and register for the selective service and wrote boldly on the form that I only did so only under duress and would only consider military service as a medic or similar orderly - I would carry NO firearms what-so-ever.  They even had a brochure on how to resist the draft in the recruiters office, I picked one up.

The recruiter was livid.
My father was livid.
Yeah, not a good day a whole lot of livid was going on!

I thought often of Clay and his fight against the military industrial complex, corrupt politicians and the bias in the USA for war - at any cost, for any excuse, against anyone.
But, I was a no one.  I had not won any Olympic Medals.  I had no fame for anything I had done.  No foreign reporters wanted my story.

And for the next three years I fought that illegal attempt to bring me into the US Army.  It was only through their arrogance that they lost the battle finally before an honest judge - the story is in one of these blogs.

Clay had been an inspiration to me.  Someone whom was willing to stand up to the status quo and say, "This is wrong."

For that, I respected the man.

But, he saw the truth but did not fully understand what so many still do not even see.  Tommy James figured it out.  I eventually learned.  And though Clay never could due to the Islamic base of his faith - a Jewish prophesy, this song still conveys what many know from Revelation 1: the Shekinah Glory of God revealed on Earth ...

Gentle Awakening

So, October 17th I come to from the final surgery on October 9th into a world which was completely new, for I had completely lost all memories.

Oh yeah, there is one string of memories: joy, pain, knowledge and fear all mixed together.  I have no idea why God saw fit to reserve that lone memory for me ... at the face of everything, it is a spurious memory of no value to anyone, unless just providing me with pain is the goal.

I have started taking something that had a slight chance of reopening the memory channel, which was shut down by the drug the surgeons used on me.  Huge doses for a little over two weeks now.  Outside of stomach upset, it does not seem to have any side effects that I can detect.

And after only two days of use, gentle memories began to return.  Little things that allowed me to post much of the past week plus a few days.  No not enough to tell me anything about myself but memories that came with a sense of ownership for a change!

No, not a deluge of pain or anger or memory, just enough to start to fill in blanks a little at a time.  Little things that fill in the holes of a normal life.  No idea yet if this will increase in detail, but we will see!

So .....

:)

I am not telling anyone anything, it is easier to just let everyone think I am still an idiot ...  But, there is still the suffering through continual deja vu!

:)

Childhood Vacations

So, just back from Colorado and I got to thinking about all of those childhood vacation - were they good or bad?

Well first one - bad.  I was under one year old and a coke bottle exploded in my face!  $250,000 US dollars later, in 1955 dollars!, and I had eye sight restored, though damaged for life.

Next one I remember was to the Pacific Coast - awesome.  Huge Pacific storm hit the shores and campground!  The waves were incredible!  I was about three and I really wanted to see the waves come over the dunes!  My parents utterly freaked out!

The rest of the early ones were mostly just good ones, until we moved to Europe.

There we had to climb every peak, travel every twisty tiny road and this boy does not handle 15,000 feet well at all!  Nor does my sister handle twisty tiny roads to this very day.  I still can not eat Frosted Flakes without remembering the horror of the roads in the Pyrenees Mountains!  Urp!

And then, mother went crazy and never did come back to Earth.  So all vacations became a nightmare.

She reverted to only eating SPAM, because it was real meat and in Europe, apparently there was no real meat.  I hated SPAM from the first bite on.  But if it is all there is to eat, well you gag it down!  She had cases of it flown in from the US!  Boiled SPAM, fried SPAM, baked SPAM, braised SPAM - she made it all, often with parsnips or rutabaga - guaranteed to keep my stomach empty and my throat burning from vomiting so much!  I learned how to eat about two hours at friends homes before she made dinner so at least that food would not be lost!  My sister just poured honey on any style of SPAM and sucked it down!  I am gagging right now, just remembering that one - and the lip smacking noises!  Yes, all vacations everyday featured "slap-slap sandwiches", a slice of SPAM between two pieces of bread .... oh dear Lord ... urp!

Worse vacation ever?  That is a hard one ...

We went to the winter carnival in Basel in 1967 and mother got bored.  So, next thing I know, we are stuffed onto a train to Interlochen, shuttled to a cog train to climb the Jungfrau.  My brain exploded at 15,000 feet or whatever height that restaurant is inside the mountain! I was so ill.  I was sipping tea when the witch hunt started for whom ever had lost it in the bathroom.  I was terrified it was me they hunted - nope it was some drunk guy!  But, I was in hiding for hours!  When it was time to go, they had to evacuate the hotel and restaurant due to a raging blizzard and we missed getting our seats, so the engineer let us sit in the cab with him!  Super cool!  Were it not for the 100 mph plus winds and the 13 feet of snow which had fallen on the tracks, mother screaming we were going to die for hours on end!, it might have been fun!  Eventually, the train iced and that was it.  By now the engineer had had it with mother and went to find his gun.  We all sat close to the boilers and waited eight hours, with no food or water, for a locomotive with a snow plow head to rescue us!  Yeah, a two day tour that should have taken only 12 hours!

No, I doubt any vacation could ever equal that one - especially with the crazy lady literally screaming the entire time that we were all going to die!  Father got the porter to spike her drink and knocked my mother out for most of the snow bound train day!

And then we had to suffer through a very drunk, then hung over screaming mother - but we were back to the hotel by then ...

:)

Musical Saturday Morning

Yesterday's Post

I never received much in the way of marriage advice from anyone growing up.
My father took me aside at eight years old and told me that you go out and hunt down the most beautiful woman you can - and marry her.

Except as I found with my Swedish fiancee, beauty is only skin deep, ugly reflects from the bone.
And, with years, I have learned that true beauty can only be found in the eyes, for they do reflect the soul.
So, I look at a lot of eyes - and beauty is a rare thing ...

When I was a kid the "sexual revolution" was exploding.
It was really just a return to the debauchery of two millennia ago.
Everyone was living without restraint, divorcing and marrying - if they even bothered.
The only concern was your own hormones and hey, if no one got pregnant  - great!

Yet, great environment.

Yesterday's 20 points, were actually not bad, outside of there being no God involved in the marriage.  Two humans, without God, literally have no hope in long term relationships.....

So, no rebuttal.
Just thinking about how does one build or rebuild a Godly marriage relationship.
I obviously have no idea - none of mine have ever been successful.

Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had

Another article I found on the internet that I thought was interesting:

Psychologist Gerald Rogers wrote an open letter to his Facebook friends and followers after going through a tough divorce. He introduced them simply by stating: ’After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I could have had…’

We highly recommend that you read it — perhaps it will save your relationship someday.
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different: After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. NEVER STOP COURTING. NEVER STOP DATING.
NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3. FALL IN LOVE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4. ALWAYS SEE THE BEST IN HER.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER.
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6. TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY.
Take full accountability for your own emotions. It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7. NEVER BLAME HER IF YOU GET ANGRY.
NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them: when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
8. ALLOW YOUR WOMAN TO JUST BE.
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you: DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9. BE SILLY.
Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10. FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY:
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11. BE PRESENT.
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12. DON’T BE AN IDIOT.
Don’t be an idiot and don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
13. EDITED OUT - Not Kid Friendly
14. GIVE HER SPACE.
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15. BE VULNERABLE.
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16. BE FULLY TRANSPARENT.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING: Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK: If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17. NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER.
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18. DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY.
Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE…
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Source: Gerald Rogers

Why You Wait

We live in a "have it now" culture.
Nothing is worth waiting for.
Life is all about ME.
Life is all about NOW.
And though many would claim different, their inability to mask their behavior betrays this truth.

In relationships, they want you to think that they love you, but it is only convenience they seek.
You are in for the day and then out with no explanation tomorrow.
They are not affected by their behavior.
And any problems you have with this, are yours, not theirs after all.

And what is real Love?

Something not worth waiting for.
Something that gives to them.
Something they can not give.
Something they will never find.
Something they can never know.

Because they want everything now.
Nothing is worth waiting for.
Not even real Love.

And so you end up with a ME centered opinion piece, such as posted yesterday, to tell you that Love is not real, it is not worth waiting for, it is all just a lie.

And for them it is a lie, because they approached life on their own terms and not God's.
So Love is a lie, because they never knew God.
Happiness/love is short and transitory.
But Love is what they will always seek.
Man was built to seek real Love.

The only way you, me, or anyone will ever find real Love is with people whom the Holy Spirit has allowed it to be given.  In a God centered belief, in a sacrificial manner, only then can true Love be found or gained.

All else is but a lie .....

I once found Love ... I still do not know what happened.  One moment I knew it, the next crushed.  All that is left is a memory - yeah the lone memory surviving from my fog shrouded past.  I knew Love - and it remains a wound that seemingly will not heal.  It just waits and so I do not know what God is up to with that one.  I guess His ways are not within my intellectual ability.  So I bear a wounded heart and spirit which I have no hope of ever healing.  Talking long ago became impossible and so I pray for her heart, her spirit and her mind - and the lies she has laid between us.

Yes, real Love does exist.
There are prerequisites attached to it.
It takes two yielded hearts, minds and souls.
It is wholly dependent upon TWO ...

And Love betrayed by the Me-ism Generation?
No idea, I have not found out how God handles such a situation.
But, one day I will.