Shades of Twilight Zone

You ever have something happen so randomly, and yet so poignant with where you are?  It is like God is trying to help you by getting you to help someone through the same issues you can not resolve!  Of course, I no longer have a mind, so any form of issue is brand new to me!  Welcome to my Twilight Zone!

So, I need some ice tea, my preferred drink of choice, and I have three Starbucks within walking distance of me.  Do I want to do a one mile, two mile or three mile round trip walk?  Goal is always the same: tea, and I get to exercise as well!

Walking up to the Starbucks, I see - let us call him - "Bob" in the window.  Just a guy from church, I see ever so often, rarely talk to, we have nothing in common.  Actually, I have yet to meet the man whom I have anything in common with!

Me: "Hey Bob, how goes it?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "It goes."

Me: "Mind if I join you?"

He shrugs, I go get my venti, black ice tea, no sweetener.  And, return.

Me: "So, what is new?"

Bob: "Just got dumped.  Took me a while to figure it out, but yeah, I am pretty sure I got dumped."

Me:  "What happened?"

Bob: "Nothing, that is the problem.  One moment all was perfect, we were in love and BLAM!, she is no longer returning calls, nor answering texts or messages.  If she says anything it is just negative with no substance!"  He shrugs again.

Me: "There someone else?"

Bob: "She says that there isn't, I am sure I am just not what she wants any longer."

Me:  "But ....?"

Bob: "Well, yeah, I am certain she is seeing other guys, suspected it for a year.  She swear there is not but there are too many signs of her heart is chasing someone but it sure is not me ..."

Bob starts crying.  Lord, how I hate it when I cry in the dark much less some random guy in Starbucks.

Me: "Love her?"

Bob:  "Yeah, she was the first real love I think I have ever had."

I have real issues in this area as well.  So, I know I am not going to be the one to help him, but at the same time, what is any man to do in such a situation?

Me: "So she just disappeared from your life, no explanation really and you think she lies to you as well?

Bob, rolling his eyes, "Basically, but it not like she intends to lie to me, she just does it by default."

Me: "Then deceitful?"

Bob: "Well, not that she would ever admit."

I sigh, there are no easy answers in life, especially when we are dealing with love.  I have no doubt he really does love her, else he would not be so broken up over this and discussing it with me in public.  But anything one could say to such a situation is just hollow words, with no real meaning.

Me: "You know it took me a really long time to come to understand that no matter how much you love someone, you can not change them if they do not wish to be changed.  You can not will them to keep you in their life - even if you know you are the best thing in the world for them.  If their opinion could be swayed in your favor - it is only a matter of time until she will leave you again."

Bob nods his head and stares blankly out the window ...

Me: "What you can do is just pray for her, for God's will in their life - if they honestly give God any control of their life.  But, in this day and age it is hard because people are so narcissistic that they can not even see another point of view much less, how they might be wrong."

Bob, looks up and his eyes are angry that I just called his love a narcissist.

Me: "But, it is true, it is the poison of this culture.  It blights so many relationships and narcissism is exactly the opposite of what God calls us to be and do.  Find a Christian narcissist and you just found someone whom is at the very least is nowhere near the path God would have them be on!  And worse yet, they never will understand, because they will never listen, until God opens their eyes or one day they wonder, 'how on Earth did I end up here ...?' "

Bob: "Well, yeah, but she is a Christian, goes to church regularly, we both do ..."

Me: "It all goes back to wanting our 'ears tickled' with what we want to hear and most churches are more than happy to tell you what you want to hear, apply modern psychology to back themselves up and viola!, you have a boat load of Christians all headed in the wrong direction at high speed and assured that they are completely correct."

Bob:  "So, I just pray for her?"

Me:  "No, you also have to honestly forgive her and then you have to honestly forgive yourself!"

Bob: "But, I don't think I can get beyond this to forgive me ..."

Me: "You only forgive,  not forget your love for her.  Equally, you understand that she has gone somewhere else, to someone else, without you.  Maybe God will call her back to you, maybe not.  It takes two heart and two wills being submissive to God.  You are an army of one, when you should be an army of two."

The tears are now back, sigh .....

Me: "Just remember, leave your heart soft for God's leading.  He can easily replace her in your life but you have to be flexible enough to allow Him to work in this area of your life ...."

I had more I could have said more but he is now holding me in a bear hug.  I am pretty sure I am going to throw up.  I pat him on the back and tell him to hang in there and just let God do His thing in his life.  No tearing pictures up, no dartboards with her face on it, act in love - in all things towards her ...  you never know what God will do.

Except for me, because I know he got played.  I had warned him three years ago but no one ever listens to me. much less to what they do not want to know.  And what do I know?  I am the one with no memory, nor anyone in their life ...  And, God will do as He pleases, when we are yield to him and not ourselves ....