Gentle Awakening

So, October 17th I come to from the final surgery on October 9th into a world which was completely new, for I had completely lost all memories.

Oh yeah, there is one string of memories: joy, pain, knowledge and fear all mixed together.  I have no idea why God saw fit to reserve that lone memory for me ... at the face of everything, it is a spurious memory of no value to anyone, unless just providing me with pain is the goal.

I have started taking something that had a slight chance of reopening the memory channel, which was shut down by the drug the surgeons used on me.  Huge doses for a little over two weeks now.  Outside of stomach upset, it does not seem to have any side effects that I can detect.

And after only two days of use, gentle memories began to return.  Little things that allowed me to post much of the past week plus a few days.  No not enough to tell me anything about myself but memories that came with a sense of ownership for a change!

No, not a deluge of pain or anger or memory, just enough to start to fill in blanks a little at a time.  Little things that fill in the holes of a normal life.  No idea yet if this will increase in detail, but we will see!

So .....

:)

I am not telling anyone anything, it is easier to just let everyone think I am still an idiot ...  But, there is still the suffering through continual deja vu!

:)