Wedding Drama

What would a wedding or a funeral be without drama?
And son's wedding would not be the exception!

Now father of the bride does not believe in marriage.
Neither does the bride's mother.
Nor any of the many pseudo-mothers whom the bride invited.
Though there seemed to be three major "mothers".
The birth mother,
The woman whom replaced her in the father's life,
And the current woman.

Not sure which street corner in Vegas he found her, but .......

So, birth mother wanted nothing to  do with the father of the bride.
He did not care and enjoyed encroaching upon her "space".
He was uncomfortable with the second woman.
Third woman tactfully avoided the other two and hovered over the father.
I imagine to beat off all comers.

All I could think of was this "father" is the perfect example of this generation's, narcosis.
And God-lessness.

So, it quickly became obvious that bride recognized the issues her parents have.
And, I now know the distance she must come to make peace with her Creator!
Perhaps you are up for long term prayer?
If so, remember my son in those prayers as well!

Wedding

So, it took almost all of my friends and kids to pull it off, but my son's wedding went quite well!

I got to play Best Man. 
Absolutely stunned me!
I was positive son hated me.
At least until he asked me stand with him!

I was Dutchman's Best Man when he got married in 1980.
So, I have done it before.
But many long decades ago!
So, I was a bit nervous ...

Of course, I knew NO ONE in the wedding party.
But I knew that traditionally, if son did not show up, I was expected to marry the bride!
Never heard of it happening, but I did not wish to be the test case in American culture!
And, if both of them pulled a no show I would be expected to wed the maid of honor.
Luckily, I was to find out that European wedding tradition is not followed here!

As it turned out, the Maid of Honor was a tall stunner.
Twenty-five with no prospects!
She was an eye full!
Most of the guys there were not sure if they should stand for her!!!!!

So, this was my fifth experience at wearing a tux.
And, I really hate it!
It took five guys to get me into this monkey suit.
Everyone was quite complementary - which I hate!
Looks mean nothing, except in our vacuous culture!
And though I have been wholly misled by beauty in my past - this was about the only way I would ever have spoken with this woman.
She needs much prayer if she is to succeed in life.

My grandson was the Ring Bearer.
So, I got him a real Bear ski8n head.
But he refused to be a Ring Bear!

So, the wedding was short and sweet.
Son made a good selection in a bride.
Though .... never mind, my values are not his ...

I am glad it is over .... utterly exhausted.

I wished them well, from my heart.
I told my son I was proud of him.
And, I wished her into my family.

The term is meaningless to her.
But she will learn much in the years ahead......

Musical Saturday Morning

Today, my son is getting married!
A day I honestly never thought I would live to see!
His relationships have by far been one sided and self-centered.
Then two years ago he met a young lady whom was not going to tolerate that kind of treatment.
And yah can't blame her!

So across two years he has been learning how to behave in a relationship.
About a year ago, he suddenly started to wake up.
And it has been amazing to see my son transform into someone you might want to know!

So, in honor of his wedding (photos to follow!), a little Carpenters seems appropriate:

Unequally Yoked

Long ago,
before my return to Europe,
before getting back into ministry,
I meet a troubled young lady.
She was completely without resources,
Direction,
Or hope.

Yeah, she had hosed up her life.
Now came the payback for living it her way,
When she knew better!

Getting back on her feet was a slow process.
Several years in fact.
She really was not into God,
But pressure from me,
For I knew God would continue His call on her.

She did eventually become a Christian,
Selected a church which still makes me shutter.
But, it was baby steps.
As she reached her mid-thirties,
The alarm clock went off and she was man hunting.
Of course she found one!

And he is a very smart man.
A NASA mathematician,
And a decade her junior!
But he was cursed like so many smart men - there is NO ONE interested in him!
It took three years for her to convince him that he had no choice in the matter - LOL!
They married, had a child and settled down.

Last night, she called and asked  me to come over.
I have known her now for 32 years!
And she knows I can be trusted.
About half way through the evening, her husband split.
Ummmm, that was odd.

And she talked of.him, unloading 13 years of angst.
His lack of even looking for a job.
His absolute refusal to discuss her beliefs in Christianity.
Were the main issues.
He was a great dad.
Less than successful husband it seems.

Yeah, she is feeling her age.
She know realizes that he is still young - she is not.
She strongly desires the peace she has in Jesus, would be his as well.
And her faith is failing this will ever happen ....

Oh sure you can say she should have never pursued a non-Christian.
She did know better.
You could say she was repeating an established pattern.
But she is smart enough to already know this.
So that leaves prayer.

Of course this challenge had to come during one of the greatest illnesses I have had in at least 3 years.
Yeah, it is hard to top MRSA.
But whatever this medicine reaction is - it comes darn close!

I feel greatly for her because she has been a real friend for many years.
No lies, no walls, just truth has existed all these years.
And now she again needs a friend.
All I can do is pray for her situation - and his change of heart!

It is sad so many women I meet are in similar stages of this situation!
But they do not accept Paul's warning to singles - stay in the faith!
And the outcome is always heartbreak!
Then they will repeat the error yet again .....

So we are praying for Thom's salvation.
It may take another 30 years ...

Seeing A Ffriend Fail

YAWN!  I was up to the wee hours with one of my old consulting customers.  YAWN!

She is the second smartest woman I have ever met, but in fully knowledge of her mind’s powers, she like so many in this culture, cannot reconcile herself with the idea that there is a Creator greater than she.  Sigh … so life becomes far harder than need be.  And like ALL brilliant people - completely unable to navigate a path through life.  Just no common sense.

I have mentioned her long ago in past posts - she is one of the Ted Bundy survivors from 40 years ago.

With the passing of her parents, I seem to have been bestowed with pseudo-father status in life to help her with her questions.  I try.  When her frustrations at life reached a boiling point- smart women do not do well in the dating arena, I introduced her to my PC support guy.  He, also sharp, also frustrated.  They married shortly thereafter.

Now, seven years later, he has begun showing some form of personality disorder - I am not up on this exploding field of mental illness.  I was quite surprised at how he has changed!  Make no mistake he is suffering from some form of mental illness, but having known him well for decades before - yeah, he is undoubtedly addicted or was to something and like so many - has damaged his mind badly!

Really too bad.  I remember having the same conversation with my brother Nick, just before his “disappearance”.  I never questioned that what ever happened to him - drugs were behind it.  And like Kirk, the devil is in the payment for playing in “its” realm.  I am just real sorry that my old customer has more to suffer through now.  Sigh …

For her, she is kicking herself for having listened to him.  She saw the warning signs but chose to ignore them.  I suspect she will divorce him - his issues today could fill many volumes of posts!  And no one in her family has ever divorced!  Now in her fifties, rich enough for several lifetimes, I have no doubt she can replace him - save for the issues I opened with ….

You Didn't Really Say ...

eMails, oh you better believe I get eMails!, especially when I stomp on dearly cherished beliefs of this Pagan Western Culture!  So, if you like the culture you live in, sold out to God-less-ness, no worries - you will write me off as a whack-o.  But, if you have read your Bible and wondered at some of those odd passages - and my comments as of late ... read on!  I have summarized those questions to reply to below - there is no hope I could answer each and every eMail on this subject!  And the subject is the tension between God and His desire, and your life - failures and successes.  It is my desire we all live as close to God as we can, but the more sin you shovel under the carpet, the greater you distance will be from God ...

You believe in capital punishment?
Easy question to answer, God believed in it.
You have to use man's logic to say He no longer does, because he asked that those involved in sexual sin be executed, those involved in paganism be executed, murder, etc, etc, etc!
It becomes easier to understand when your loved ones suffer rape, victimized by murder, kidnapped and used by the porn industry, or just plain driven crazy by those dedicated to sin and making your life miserable - yeah it is real easy to understand that capital punish is too light of a sentence!
But, you need to experience victimization to understand the price of justice in this life.

No, I believe that God's grace extends to everyone - and only when someone has demonstrated beyond all possible doubt that they can not live in a civilized society - well, they have sadly made their choice.

The excesses of this society killing anyone and everyone, under the pretext of "justice", has led to a situation where no one is actually held accountable - outside of incarceration these days!  Sorry, but that is not justice, nor was it ever God's will that we live in an amoral society occupied by criminals allowed to victimize over and over again!

Many Should Be Executed?
There are lots of excuses for killing people.  As I said just earlier, there are many deserving of death, I do not KNOW that they should be killed.  I am a pacifist, I believe that all men are redeemable before God and should be allowed that opportunity for redemption!  Whether you are Adolf Hitler or Ted Bundy, you must get your best shot at understanding what you have done - and the price you need to pay for the blood you have shed.  The choice to die was made when you murdered, the choice for eternal life needs to be made before you go to face God.

I can remember back about the time of Ted Bundy's rampage in the USA and the body count is ticking away, I was asked for my feelings in a random on the street interview about capital punishment, this unknown killer and justice for the victim's families.  I needless to say really put my foot in it!  I commented that I had been counseling at the local prison and the more I learned about these men and their lives, the more I became aware that the real problems began with their grandparents whom were not caught and executed for their crimes!  Yeah, that one really opened a can of worms, but was a true enough observation.  Just a generalization, not 100% true since evil can appear in a child of even God-ly parents, but something in that environment did trigger that child to make the wrong choices!  And whomever that trigger was, probably would not have had an impact - if they had paid for their problems earlier on.

Luckily, I am not God, because only He can identify the root causes of evil and act accordingly, when we let Him.

Abandonment is exactly what?
You abandon your marriage vow and sink into the cesspool of porn.
You play house with someone else.
You decide your spouse needs punished and cease marital relations.
You co-habit, for the sake of the children only or dogs or whatever.
You put yourself before your spouse in the relationship.
Lots of ways to abandon someone in this day and age!

God's remedy has always been, abandonment = divorce because of the hardness of someone's heart.
And before that hardness of heart, came sin, which is the underlying problem throughout this discussion.

Marriage is not what we know marriage to be?
Until the Roman Catholic Church came along and corrupted marriage, it had been something setup between families and generally there was a purpose for the marriage (business related, political, whatever).  We think ourselves more civilized since we now base marriage on hormones or the fickleness of "love".  I think history shows this culture is mislead.

In the class I mentioned on Friday, where we took on this idea of what is marriage?  One of the guys realized that the woman he had lived with for a decade before marrying someone else and "settling down", probably was his wife in God's eyes.  He was devastated.  It seems that all was not well in his marriage, it had been based on drug usage and pleasure and both were wearing thin - hence, he was remembering the one whom drop kicked his butt out the door for the drugs.  Now he understood that he had it coming and his position was none to stable before God.

This whole idea of a playing house - "spiritual unions" - common law marriage - whatever you want to call it, is viewed as marriage before God.  That is why He is so adamant on the subject of - you stick with it until either abandoned by your spouse, death or divorce!

But, if you believe going to the government for permission to marry, then either to another government agency or church to marry you - is the definition of marriage, okay - but it is your commitment to your spouse and to God that is the real basis of your marriage.  And, when that marriage has been broken, what are you to do?  Probably try again and start off a great deal smarter!

***
In thinking through these answers, I thought of so much more I could say, but to what avail?

In the end, what must stand out in your mind is that we are to live a life trapped between the culture we are born into and Heaven or Hell.  Little we can do is going to be "right", but by God's grace He sees His Son and not our sin.  He knows our heart and forgives us our stumbles when we are His.

Life can be utter frustration outside of our control or desire but God will see us through to His end, for His goals and for His desire.  If your life does not spell His witness, through you - reaching out and healing those around you with His Love - well, the problem is not going to be God's.  Because that is the entire goal in this life.

As Corrie Ten Boom told me over forty years ago:
"When there is less of you and more of Him, then He can move in your life ..."

... and, move He will, when we allow Him to.
Just so we understand that His desires may well not be our own.
And, He will allow us the choice to do His will or not.

Corrie was a smart woman and I never forgot those words, which is impressive, since if you are  a long time reader you know that I lost virtually all of my memories in October 2015.  Yeah, they have not returned, but it seems that if they were important - or God would restore them ...

Marriage

Many long decades ago, a Sunday School class I attended, decided to tackle the question as to: What is Marriage?

Yes, those with their Catholic perversions to their faith were well represented in the argument which spanned about a month's worth of classes!  Perversions?  Yes, one of the popes in the middle ages decided that there was good money in selling the rights to marry, to the feudal kings.  Along with the right to the "first night" - with the pope's blessing.  So, now instead of the church having sole right to marry, the State was given the "right" to do so at its discretion and oh by the way blushing bride, the local feudal lord gets you for the first night!  Yeah ..... no corruption there!

Nothing angers me more than the State believing that they have any say in the area of marriage, but if you want to play the State's game (taxes, inheritance, birth certificate names as well as death benefits) - they got you!  All because of one corrupt pope!

So, what is marriage?

The class came to the conclusion that it is the "joining together of the resources of a man and a woman, in support of a common goal".  The church has nothing to say about it, the State has nothing to say about it, and actually families have nothing to say about it either!  Problem is - it is a lifetime commitment and we live in an age where everyone believes they have a "right" to have a say in your marriage.

Unfortunately, we live in a God-less age.  "Christian" teachings from groups such as Bill Gothard's Basic Youth Conflicts, to name names, supposedly teach the youth how to live "Godly" lives but in reality just create an environment where control freaks thrive in!  When I first slammed into his teachings, newly arrived upon America's shores, I was appalled that this was being taught, much less was considered to be God-ly teaching - and I was not even a Christian at the time, but I had already read the Bible cover to cover three times by then!  So, I could at least smell a problem.  (and as time was to show, I was not far off the mark in my opinion!)

Today, in Western Culture, divorce is rampant, I fear because sin is not dealt with as sin, as it once was.  The world would be a far less populated place if sin was dealt with by death - just as in the olden days.  Pornography problem?  Death.  Promiscuous? Death.  Rapist? Death.  Abandon your spouse?  You must divorce them!  Very black and white.

And because of this God-less age, sin never will be dealt with. 

So, you as the victim in a destroyed marriage have no recourse today except divorce!  Because society today will no longer execute the spouse whom has abandoned the marriage (for sin).  Certainly, there are abandonments which are not sin based and for that God allowed divorce "for the hardness of their hearts".

Yeah, when you skinny down what exactly the Bible does say about marriage ... it does not fit with today's model at all.  And people wonder why divorce is rampant ...

Honoring Marriage

Reading in Hebrews, a book which perplexes me, amazes me, makes me wonder ...  And I have had two years to do almost nothing but read and think.  Seeing my life in all of its many disasters, seeing things in the Bible I never understood before the complete change which overcame me.  And though I may now understand somethings better, it comes decades too late for me actually benefit from this knowledge.  So, seeing missed opportunities, understanding how things should have been - could have been - better.  Could-a, Would-a, Should-a - as my lawyer used to say ...

Every Christian is called to honor marriage as being highly valuable.  And, yes, this includes singles - you are called to honor marriage as well!

Hebrews 13:4

Honor Your Child's Marriage
How I wish that parents could understand that their children do become adults and they are no longer under their parents' control!  It is almost a disease in this culture that parents believe they have some say in their children's' marriages and lives - long after the child has left the home!

As a parent, your child marries - with or without your input - they are adult, married and their business is theirs alone!  Butt out tiny minded control freaks!  You support that marriage!  You do all you can do to encourage the two of them!  Your feelings have no place in someone else's marriage!

Honor Your Adult Child's Marriage
Yes, adults - those over 25 these days - get married too.
Parents are to separate relationally.
Parents are to separate emotionally.
Parents are to separate financially.
Life is to be fully shared with, and only with, their spouse.

Honor Newlyweds.
They need time together.
They need to create their identity.
Your being there too much will only cause unnecessary strife.

Honor Seasoned Couples.
They are in danger of drifting apart!
Encourage quality time together for them.
Time spent face to face, talking.
Daily, personal thoughts expressed, lovingly.
Weekly, fun time together - think a date night.
Annually, fun time together - think vacation.

Honor Couples In Crisis.
Do not take sides, be neutral!
Advocate for both spouses!
Try to not be drawn in ... good luck!
Pray!

Honor Senior Couples.
Recognize their commitment together.
Follow their example.
Realize that commitment has nothing to do with compatibility, being "soul mates" or "in love".
Commitment is a product of character.

In reading back through this it strikes me that churches would do well to encourage and build up marriages within the church.  Yet, I have never seen an example of this as a ministry area in any church on four continents I have attended ... outside of a young marrieds Sunday School class once!  Something to consider ...

Yesterday's Post

I never received much in the way of marriage advice from anyone growing up.
My father took me aside at eight years old and told me that you go out and hunt down the most beautiful woman you can - and marry her.

Except as I found with my Swedish fiancee, beauty is only skin deep, ugly reflects from the bone.
And, with years, I have learned that true beauty can only be found in the eyes, for they do reflect the soul.
So, I look at a lot of eyes - and beauty is a rare thing ...

When I was a kid the "sexual revolution" was exploding.
It was really just a return to the debauchery of two millennia ago.
Everyone was living without restraint, divorcing and marrying - if they even bothered.
The only concern was your own hormones and hey, if no one got pregnant  - great!

Yet, great environment.

Yesterday's 20 points, were actually not bad, outside of there being no God involved in the marriage.  Two humans, without God, literally have no hope in long term relationships.....

So, no rebuttal.
Just thinking about how does one build or rebuild a Godly marriage relationship.
I obviously have no idea - none of mine have ever been successful.

Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had

Another article I found on the internet that I thought was interesting:

Psychologist Gerald Rogers wrote an open letter to his Facebook friends and followers after going through a tough divorce. He introduced them simply by stating: ’After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I could have had…’

We highly recommend that you read it — perhaps it will save your relationship someday.
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different: After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. NEVER STOP COURTING. NEVER STOP DATING.
NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3. FALL IN LOVE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4. ALWAYS SEE THE BEST IN HER.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER.
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6. TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY.
Take full accountability for your own emotions. It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7. NEVER BLAME HER IF YOU GET ANGRY.
NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them: when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
8. ALLOW YOUR WOMAN TO JUST BE.
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you: DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9. BE SILLY.
Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10. FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY:
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11. BE PRESENT.
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12. DON’T BE AN IDIOT.
Don’t be an idiot and don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
13. EDITED OUT - Not Kid Friendly
14. GIVE HER SPACE.
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15. BE VULNERABLE.
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16. BE FULLY TRANSPARENT.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING: Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK: If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17. NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER.
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18. DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY.
Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE…
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Source: Gerald Rogers

Life After Death

My father did not believe in the concept of an after-life.  I personal feel that this was based upon his desire not to have to face a Creator/God/Judge for his life.  So much easier to believe in nihilism, if you were a Nazi to the day you died.  And this from a man, whom was a Jew ...  Go figure!

John, my favorite Apostle, I read this writings often, if not continually (now that I have lost all memories!)  He wrote in John 15:4-6, that we are to ABIDE in Jesus ....  Abide?  How does one do that?  Well ...

Mark 12:18-27

You have been given a worldview, test it!
How do you now see all things?
How do you now react to what you encounter?

The Sadducee's held that there was NO resurrection of the dead, nihilists like my father.  NO afterlife.  They were the privilege class.  They believed in the Torah alone.  The Temple was everything to them!  As a group, they were destroyed with the Temple, by the Romans.

They ask Jesus a question based upon the assumption of a resurrection, they did not believe in!
(you have to appreciate the irony here!)

You have a future - anticipate it!
Jesus replied:
You are in error
You do not know your Scriptures
You do not know God
Power raises the dead
God is the God of the living
You are mistaken

And they assumed that marriage exists in Heaven, which is not supported by Scripture!

You have a promise - trust it!
Remember the burning bush?
God said, I AM, not I was ..... *
Know your Scriptures!

Psalms and Job and Isaiah:
God is in this world
Living matters ...

...

* the concept of God identifing himself as, "I AM", can be taken a few different ways in English.
I AM, whom I AM.
I AM pre-existant, non created.
I AM in essence the lifeforce.
The concept of a past tense does not exist as He exists in past, present and future.  In time and out of time.

So understand that God, was being revealed by Jesus as a very real force whom knew exactly what He was doing - and they (the Sadducee's) had better as well!

So across almost 40 years of my father's exposure to a Christian Kris, I never was able to get through to him that I believed God is real, that just the ability trust in Jesus' payment was enough to cover his lifetime of failure before God.  It was not until I went to Russia twice to adopt four children, that he suddenly understood I was for real and he might be wrong.  I will never know on this Earth if he finally choose to do the right thing and reconcile with God - it is possible, and I sure hope for his eternal sake he did, It would be nice to see more than just my grandmother in Eternity ...

Of course, first up will come the resurrection ...

Dealing With Divorce, Part 2

Yesterday, I talked my family's history with divorce.
I know I was affected by my parents' divorce.  From the selfish side of they separated on my 17th birthday and divorced on my 18th birthday, two ruined birthdays in a row!  As well as, from the side of not trusting easily.  And understanding that although there are "two sides to an issue", the truth may not be known by either party - especially when the parties are both liars.

Mark 10:1-12
Matthew 19:1-9

1.  Marriage matters!  So pursue it!  
It is worth your attention!
Jesus emphasized the importance of it.
It matters to God.
Fortify your marriage and strengthen it.

2.  See sex as game changer, not as a harmless-hookup !
Sexual sin has long term consequences.
You are bonded in that union.
You can not actually untangle the roots of that union, once it happens.
Desire has the same roots in your heart.
Pain, hard hearts, sin abounds - without the greatest of caution!!!!!!

3.  What about the "reasons for divorce"?
Mental illness, sin, gambling, alcoholism, abuse, etc - are all grey areas for both divorce and remarriage.
Abandonment or adultery is acceptable reasoning for  divorce and remarriage.  This is the breaking of the marital vows.
 What happens to your marital status, you protect yourself, you protect your children!

4.  We need to be a lighthouse for the shipwrecked!
We are to be a place for hope and healing for all.
Lift up the sacredness of marriage.

Marriage takes two people, committed to one another in God.
God wants our marriages to flourish, not to fail. 
When one person fails, both are affected by that failure.
Divorce is but one reaction to that brokenness of ourselves and failure.
But Divorce is not an unpardonable sin, it is an action which damages us. 
God's desire is to heal us of failure and brokenness.
If you remarry, God will bless that marriage if you have and are seeking His Will.

God's grace is greater than all sin.
We all sin.
No sin is greater than another.
Some sin has long term consequences on us and others: sexual sin, divorce and murder.

Thinking back through these verses: marriage is good, failure is not desirable.  There are lots of ways a marriage can hit the rocks, these days pornography and abandonment seem to be the most common from what I have observed.  We have to be able to understand that it is not an imperative that we abandon our spouses when these things occur but rather to work through it with them - IF that is possible.  Both situations are a little hard to re-engage from!  And, if there is divorce, know that this is not God's will, but by His allowance.  Should we then remarry, one hopes we are wiser, careful and prayerful.

Dealing With Divorce, Park 1

We live in a culture of "love", not commitment.
We live in a society where sex is thought to be the same as love.
Our families are destroyed because hormones are to be responded to.
We damage ourselves because we pursue feelings and hormones, not Godliness.

For decades I have used the illustration of, "If you want to meet a group of damaged women, suffering under the weight of multiple divorces - check our your local high school."  We allow through this western culture of "dating", what should never exist - those too immature mentally and emotionally to become involved physically - God's definition of marriage, and then to walk away from one another because of that immaturity.  You really have no understanding of today's youth culture until you understand this, nor God's expectation.

And most people marry, at least once, a high percentage numerous times - always looking and never finding, nor understanding.

In my family: the first divorce came about in 1940.  Grandmother married a swine of a man at 18 and by 25 realized just how big of a mistake that had been!  An alcoholic American Indian is not what long term relationships are made of.  Of her three children, all have been divorced at once and remarried.  Of her grandchildren, none of them necessarily married wisely, nor without struggles in the years which followed.  As for Grandmother, well 5 marriages ...  My father, 8 marriages ...  sigh ...

So, divorce is something all of us grandchildren feel strongly about ...  But, how does one deal with it?  It exists in our families, in our friend's lives, it is modeled for us in the media ... it is perfectly normal right?  After-all, people change and people cheat.  And divorce destroys ourselves and our children.  But, often what precedes a divorce, is often worse than the divorce itself.

How are we to deal with these issues?

Mark 10:1 - 12

1.  Divorce is sin, don't minimize it.
The world wants you to think that divorce is normal, that it is a success. 
God did not design you for divorce, you were built to experience real commitment and love.
Seeking new experiences and pursuing happiness is not why we exist.
God says that He hates divorce.
But, God does not hate divorced people.

2.  Divorce is serious, don't look for loopholes.
Verse 2, Pharisees were looking for loopholes to get out of marriage.
They wanted a "no fault" divorce, it was a contemporary argument at the time.
Deuteronomy 24:1 was the verse in contention.
She is disrespectful to her mother-in-law, she is a bad cook, she talked to men in the market, her hair was down in public.
Any reason was a good reason to some then, just as it is now.

3.  Divorce is permitted, don't make it a command.
Moses was discouraging divorce with his permission.
"Because of the hardness of our hearts ..."
Jesus and Moses sought to protect women and to underscore that women were not be treated as property.

4.  Divorce is real, don't side step it or step on it.
Understand that people sin and sinners need to come to God.
Know that people can suffer undesired divorces and they need our love.
Acknowledge that marriages can be damaged and need prayer.
Not to judge those whom are being damaged by their partner.

God's Protection

Most people I know live pretty smug lives.  They are self assured and expect nothing terrible to go wrong in their lives ever.  I suppose it is just the nature of the PRIDE of man to be this way - to expect peace to surround them without any personal cost.  So, they live their lives as if there is no cost - and curse God when suddenly evil rears its ugly head ...

I have quietly been watching for decades the decline of this once great country - borderline Christian but apparently enough so that God seemed to be watching over America.  He was blessing and yes, correcting as well - even bringing international shame upon this nation since 1970's.  But fewer and fewer have noticed.

And just as in Jeremiah's time, any blessing was removed from the nation and replaced by blessings upon individuals.  Of course, as the hearts of the many were turned from God - so increased their wrath against those whom still stood for God.

As the decades have passed, since I first had this terrible thought, I have witnessed the national erosion of blessing with the sins of the many blocking any greatness which God could bestow upon the nation.  When on a governmental level we see murder as the State policy in foreign affairs and often internally as well - something God does care about strongly - can we be surprised at the carnage we are witnessing?

God is not there to protect us, He is there for us to bless Him.  Any blessings we may receive is completely due to His grace and mercy - not because we deserve or have earned it!

How can we possibly regain God's personal or corporate protection?

Two things God hates more than anything, as documented in the Bible:

• Murder
• Divorce

To withdraw from being cursed due to murder, well is a hard to accomplish in this culture!  Outright murder, abortion, surreptitious death sentences, assassination, made up war, bombings would all have to go away.  We live in a culture of death.  We are comfortable with.  We have no concept of the human cost infected by this culture - because after all it is to be expected, it is normal.  This is not say you can not defend yourself, but it does mean to stop being the instigator of the flow of the blood this culture has poured so coldly into the grave.

And divorce.  Sigh.  All generations of my Scottish based family have been thus afflicted.  No, not just randy men but some real honest to gosh psycho women as well!  Why even pretend that marriage means something when there is not even an attempt at permanence?  Why attempt at marriage when divorce is so extremely easy to acquire?  Change begins in the hearts of all us, to stand outside of culture to make marriage mean something - even if it is only to us!  We have to re-cultivate the understanding that marriage is not a piece of paper, some dude saying you are married and then partying.  It is about commitment - which means understandings, knowledge, wisdom, etc - and you possess none of those attributes - you are involved and must stand aside for those whom do possess unbiased status can judge.  OMG!  I used the J word!  Yup.  Understand this, most marriages are not of God and are based on man's desire, not His.  That is why Godly wisdom and judgement are required.  Notice the requirement for God in the lives of those assisting us!

Oh yeah, there are other areas as well we must personally clean up but this is just a swipe at the 80% of the problem.

Gotta Love This Culture

I tell you,  you just have got to love a culture so willing, so blindly running into the open and waiting arms of Satan.

The Bible makes no bones about it: marriage is between a man and woman.

But, man in his infinite wisdom has to redefine marriage, then set an equality between same sex civil unions and traditional marriage.

Plays right into Satan's rule book on how to finally put a death knell into Christianity, next up will be going after the Churches and eventually individual Christians for discrimination - intended or not, proven or not, observed or not.  All Christians are proven haters and bigots - right?

So just in my short adult life we have legalized abortion, some states have legalized "assisted" suicide, drugs are now readily available in my state and many others openly.

The culture is in collapse.  No not the ravings of someone crying "Wolf", but someone whom has studied history and understands what supports and what destroys cultures.  Oh well, no one listen, no one ever learns from the past, failures must always be multiplied for failure only occurs when "I" am not the one doing it - if it was "Me" then it would work.  Right?  Sigh ...

God in his long suffering has allowed this culture to run itself amuck!  Do not even pretend this is a Christian nation - it hasn't been for at least the past century.  And God holds back his wrath, but it will come, He will have His due from those whom have led this nation and culture back to the brink of paganism.  Unfortunately, it is not just America whom will get smacked down, it will be this pervasive culture of sin we wade through everyday, hoping not to be tainted by sin which swirls around us - but that is in vain for you can not go untouched by what you live in.

I commented a few years ago that Washington State no longer represents the values I hold as important.  It seems now that is true of the USA as a whole, thanks to the godless men we continually put in to rule over ourselves ...

We are at a point in this Western Culture where every pray you lay should be directed towards Revival!  Not the emotional outburst of the late 19th century.  Not the self satisfying "charisma" of the 20th century (in quotes because this is not of God - read  your Bible if you think otherwise).  But real revival - awaking the walking dead of the pews - Christian stumbling around with no understanding, no Spiritual leadership, no power for ministry!

Where are the  Jonathan Edwards, Henry Ward Beecher and the litany of men whom were willing to preach fire and brimstone because the world was (and still is) going to Hell and no one cares to rock the boat!

Pray God will raise up men of equal caliber, whose tongues point to God and not themselves or others.  Men whom will willingly suffer the antagonism of this pagan culture to point the way to God!  Pray like you never have before and if enough of us will, God will respond, He promises to.

Call For Wisdom

Dutchman has been talking with me over the past two weeks - he needs wisdom.  What can he do to help his son and new daughter-in-law when Satan is reigning supreme in their lives?

Sigh .....

Dutchman's Son is the product of a Dutch Reformed Christian background - however he is not a real Christian, just heavy exposure.  First marriage, one kid with wife.  So, he knows what is right and what is wrong, he desires what is right, but wrong just is such a strong lure and so much more enjoyable ...

The Bride is from an atheist American family, third generation on welfare, no incentive to do or be anything other than the responsibility of someone else.  The appalling part is that she has had three children all by different fathers, married twice before, and is now the ripe old age of 22!

The problem is she now wants the freedom to rejoin the party scene she left when she married DS and is having problems understanding DS' lack of understanding for her to come home at all hours!  Add to this that DS has reverted to, or may have not actually departed from, his premarital problems.  So, she is sleeping around and is back to chemical dependency, and admits it willingly because she sees no problem here!  DS is back into porn land and his alcoholism.  But, remember, they have three children between them!  And as I hear from other sources, there is abuse going on now.

Add to this that the Bride's mother decided to move in with them as she got caught cheating on her Section-8 housing rules (how much you can make and still qualify) thus being thrown out of the discount housing she lived in.  Now with her daughter for several months, I have no wonder where some of the Bride's ideas are coming from ...  Plus, mother has a 22 year old boyfriend, recently deported to Canada on drug charges and is pregnant with child 9!

Oh the tangled webs we weave ... (one of Shakespeare's best statements!)

What is poor Dutchman to do?  He has sunk $42,000 this year alone in trying to help his son get on top of the messes the wife keeps making - yet there is no learning, the messes just get worse and more costly.

And the call for wisdom ...

I always struggle in such situations.  I do not like speaking for God (ex cathedra), in other's lives.  But, if asked, I will as God - His knowledge of where all paths lead is infinite, mine only goes to the horizon, if that far.  Heaven knows I have been blind-sided more than once!

Mother has to go away asap before the daughter will have a chance to think about her marriage and not herself.
Friends, also long term staying in the house, need to go away as well.
Son has to get his act together with God, or there is no reason for expectation that God will take any hand in healing this family.
Bride needs to get a handle on what her husbands professed faith really is and make her peace with God as well.
Both need to get a handle on their anger issues for the sake of children. 
Counseling is mandatory, individually as well as together as a couple!
Both need to start to place the other first in their lives!
God has to become number one, not self interest and selfishness.

For as much as I may desire DS to be healed, his problems began long ago and are deeply ingrained now.
For as much as I may desire this marriage to be healed, humanistically, I understand this may not be possible.  They both have already turned their backs on the other.
For as much as I many desire a sold family for these three children ... sigh ...

Without God, there is no hope. 
With God there is not only hope but a solid expectation!
But, it also takes two committed hearts to one another, as well as God.

Please be in prayer with me over this disaster ...
God can and will move to change things.

Feverish Dreams

Usually, when I have a fever or am delirious, my dreams are more like nightmares - so really not worthy of comment unless I found something humorous in them.

For instance, my Thursday through Sunday nightmares - bizarre beyond all belief, was complicated because I lost vision and could only speak in German!  Of course, no one else could speak German, so no one could understand I was trying to convey that I wanted to live ... 
But, I was out of my mind with fever.  I was quite normal when the fevers' would ebb.

And then sometimes, I just do not want to wake up ...

The blue of my uniform was dark and clean against the dust and sage.
My gold cording and ribbing were all gleaming.
My sword was at the ready, for Black Hawk had only been put down months before.
I wore one of my Roger & Spencer revolvers.  I had worn two through the Black Hawk War.
Over eleven years at war, against the south and then against the Indians, I was tired of death.
And, I was at peace internally.
My closest friends were with me.
I had no idea why I was here.

The sound of gravel underfoot, drew my attention behind me and slightly downhill.

She was dressed in yellow, a shade which complimented the desert grasses, with white trim.
Her yellow hair set a glow about her face.
I am placing this setting to be 1870 as my "mind" is now playing catch-up.
There are other women with her.
I recognized the man: her father and a local elder in our isolated community.
I was completely at home.
It was to be but a simple ceremony.

Mounted on my horse, she was lifted up and seated across a pillow laid on the McClellan saddle.
"John Wesley, where are we headed?"
Her arms were around my neck, her head on my shoulder.
"Well, Elizabeth, my dear, I have a team at the Springs and then the West is in front of us."

The dream became spotty: pieces of the Oregon Trail journey mixed  pieces of forming a new life.  I knew where this would end, because I realized these were my great-great-grandparents.  I had heard of the tragedy of their lives as a child..  But, I am the only one in the family to understood the happiness they had found together ...

Heart of Hardness

Something I had always wondered at is the bit about God hardening Pharaoh's heart in Exodus 9:12, and again when Pharaoh chose to pursue the fleeing Israelites.  What does this mean?  How can someone's heart be hardened?

"Hardness of heart is a figurative expression, denoting that insensibility of mind upon which neither judgments nor mercies make any abiding impressions; but the conscience being stupefied, the obdurate rebel persists in determined disobedience."

 Uhm, I think this dictionary quote means you are going to do, what you are going to do and neither logic nor reality is going to change your mind.

I saw this once, many years ago when I was in college.  My favorite uncle worked for United Airlines as a mechanic and he was laid off.  And being an aircraft and powerplant mechanic meant there was nothing to do job wise because it is a fairly small field of opportunity.  He did auto repairs, did work for many different shops doing their machining for them but he could not make ends meet.  So he went to have a talk with his wife.

I came over a few days later and he was standing there in the shop drilling holes in a piece of bar stock and I asked him what was up.  And he told about how they were broke and he could not generate enough money to pay for their mortgage, and the talk he had with his wife.  Seems he had asked her to take a part time job, just for a few months to get them past the problem.  But, her reactions was, "Well, you are the man, it is your responsibility to earn enough to pay for what we have ... "

And something in my uncle snapped and he stopped, just standing there, staring out the window back towards his house, "Why would she be so unwilling to help us meet expenses ... "  I quiet left to ponder this myself.  Certainly she had worked in the past, before they had children she had been an executive secretary, back when that meant something dollar-wise.  Why would she say something like that?

Across the next five years I watched my uncle's heart harden towards her, to the point that live or die, she no longer meant anything to him - she was a stranger, just a roommate whom he supported.  And he watched as she turned both of their children against him.  By the time of the divorce, she was stunned he could be so vain as to believe he could make a decision without her permission.  And he just wanted his tools and to have nothing to ever do with her again.  Obviously, the problem occurred long before the question of her ever working.

Pharaoh, my favorite uncle and an aunt whom I loved very much, all shared the same problem: hardness of heart.  So, now I could understand this reference from the Bible.  I had observed its birth in two of my favorite people.

So, 2009 came into my life and with it the dysfunction which stole Gaelic Girl from my life.  She went crazy, everyone whom observed her could verify that and I tried to help, but it was not help she wanted.  By 2012, live or die, Gaelic Girl no longer mattered in my life.  I still tried to help her but there was just no way to because I had died long ago in her mind.

And Monday night she attacked yet again.  The reason is really unimportant, this happens so often and I generally end up sucking on Nitro pills or in ER for days as they try to stabilize my heart again.  So I am expecting to end up back in ER within hours or days if I can not do something to control my stress levels and heart quickly (prayer item here guys!).  And I got to thinking about Pharaoh this morning.

GG's attack was really much in line with my aunt's on my uncle, a massive display of ego and vanity declaring the other incapable of choice or decision without them.  And Pharaoh considered his step-brother, Moses, demented to have listened to another god than Egypt's.

Hardness of heart towards your fellow man is to lift yourself above them and to "know" what is right or wrong for them, independent of them.  They have no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right.  And I thought on this.

Hardness of heart towards God, is to lift yourself above your Creator and to "know" right from wrong independent of Him or His input on any matter.  God has no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right, you have no actual need for Him.

This morning, I can understand this concept for the first time. And now I understand that what came between GG and I, came long before 2009.  What came first was a hardening of her heart towards God, then in her relationships with others, eventually even me.  Oh sure she still blames me for everything going haywire in our relationship, but it does not matter.  I can clearly see for the first time in a long time this morning ...  If only had most of my blog prior to 2009, I might have a better clue as to what happened in her life.


Pharaoh, my uncle, my aunt, GG and probably many others in my life, hardened their hearts towards those whom had been close in their lives, but first they cut God out of the picture.  Certainly, standing there in his metal shop, my uncle had walked away from God, not actually to return even 30+ years later.

Seeing this, I can understand in my own life how circumstance in our lives can effect our relationship with God.  I really do not want to ever find that in my heart I have hardened it towards anyone.  Even in Monday's three hour attack by GG, all I could really feel was sorry for her.  If only she could listen to her words and see that everything she was saying was true about her and not me, but she will never listen to me ever again, she stopped that a decade ago but whom could have thought it important at the time?

And my challenge, I now understand, is to rectify my relationship towards God, for I believe it has taken a beating across this past year ...

Monogamy

Number Two Daughter works in a series of bars, combined which at least give her a full time job.

In town, are all of the same "family" whom gathered back in 2011 and I talked about then.  And like last time, "family" discussions occurred.  Never planned, never appropriate, never to any resolutions because no one actually listens to one another not wants to resolve anything ...

So, we were all gathered at the bar NTD was working at on Sunday night.  I was beyond stressed, every wall I had in place and I still managed five minor heart attacks last week!  I was really at my end, very little stuffings left to knock out of me.

A couple walked it, there were hundreds of couples there but this pair stood out because of the smile on her face, the flash of a diamond in Catholic position upon her finger and the fact that she was wearing a Tibetan traditional wedding dress.  Flowers woven into her hair made me think she had just gotten married that afternoon.  He was a "hipster" and dressed like one with a pastel three piece suit and neatly groomed.  They sat opposite me so I was close enough to let me mind wander to their conversation and still listen in to my table as well.

They talked of visions for life and plans, they laughed and giggled, she obviously was very in love.  He?  Well, he was very oblivious.  I hope he sharpens up quickly, I would hate to think of her joy being terminated by the intrusion of "life".

And I felt the pang of "something" at never having experienced something like this, there being someone to share dreams with and visions of the future.  That feeling of oneness - the future, a pearl for the picking that oneness brings.  Probably my own fault a long ago any ways.

At my table, the Boy From Portland suddenly said, "Yeah, I know, but I honestly do not think that I have any interest in monogamy ever again."  Guess his last divorce came up in conversation.

I gave him a quizzical look because he had brought a nice woman up with him from Portland.  Someone actually out of his league.  Since she has been around in his life for the past year plus, I have to wonder.  If this is his attitude, why should/would she put up with it?  Why would any woman "sell" herself for any reason?

He looked down and mumbled that she supported his desires.

I looked at the Tibetan bride.  How would she react at a choice like this from her man of choice?
I looked back at BFP, why would he not want a real adult relationship?  Was he incapable of it?  Did all of those years of drugs rob him of the whatever needed to develop in his brain?  Makes you wonder.

Is monogamy a product of maturity?

Well, it is "expected" within our culture, as if it is normal.  Certainly not something demonstrated by my father or anyone in the rest of my family during my lifetime!  Yet, I think it is an important aspect of marriage, even in these days of non-marriage aka the "hooking up" culture which will probably destroy our culture in the end.

You can not look at history without noticing that the concept of monogamy came into vogue with the Roman Catholic Church's take over of the world.  I am not saying this is wrong, it agrees with what I personally believe.  Before the RCC, marriage and sex rarely were mentioned in the same sentence.  Sex within marriage was for the production of heirs.  Sex outside of marriage was for "love", lust or just because the guy thought any female was a piece of meat.  The Celtic world and Roman laws really are appalling in this area!  Make no mistake, it is only the last 100 years which have given us a stable family social structure and freedom of any choice for women ...

The Apostle Paul seems to agree with me that there is an importance to monogamy. 1 Timothy 3:2 and 12 bring up the test for leadership in the church: monogamy.

Monogamy; one man - one woman, joined with a common goal, with cultural acceptance, blessed as being one flesh by God.

There is MUCH disagreement with what exactly is being said here and it always breaks down to the writer's bent and at what point does legalism come into play. 

We live in a broken world.  Being ONE FLESH is never understood as being a part of  the corruption of marriage.  Yet it is.  Being married is never understood outside of your role as a couple, yet it is ...

2,000 years ago, Paul wrote that in a sex saturated culture - elders were to be husbands of one wife.  They were not driven by their own lusts or sexual desires, they were married to one woman to demonstrate this, there were no "hook ups" since this would be to become one flesh with more than one at the same time.  The choice was to be married to testify to those in their social circles that they were different.  The man chose to protect innocence, not exploit it, as a witness as well.

And it was one of many things which literally changed the world in the 5th century.

I honestly am sorry for those in this culture not understanding that there is a witness for God to be found in "doing things right", to choose marriage, to choose innocence, to choose even a quiet witness of your faith, of the reality of the truth God long ago defined for us.

To the Tibetan young bride, all my best wishes.
To the BFP, well, I hope you grow up and your current significant others finds out what real love is.

Mixed Idealogizes

In a 2009 doctoral address, a Vatican Cardinal stated:

.....Feminism drove changes in the basic relation between the sexes

.....U.S. laws also "undermine the role of the father," the cardinal maintained, citing legislation allowing "gay so-called parents" to adopt children and the 2008 Human Fertilization and Embryology Act, which enables single women to conceive children through artificial methods.

.....In Europe, he said, recent trends also "work to diminish masculinity." He described a research paper published by the Council of Europe in 1998 that indicated male leaders and fathers have "become more like women and mothers" in behavior, including becoming "sweeter."


I have sat on this one for 5 years!, because I just did not have the build up I wanted to address this foolishness.  And, I find this week I do - men have abandoned their roles and responsibilities towards love, marriage and sex.  Many blame this on the advent of feminism ...

Now the above quote was ripped off of a German Cardinal giving his doctoral address.  So he was preaching to the choir so to speak!  His audience was other Cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church - are they going to disagree that manhood in the 21st century is in trouble?  Are they going to disagree that equality of women is at the heart of the matter in destroying the traditional home and manhood?  I doubt it.

Now let us take this one step further, he is German, commenting on a worldwide problem ... and he picks feminism as the culprit which has destroyed life as we know it ...  Yeah ...  It is all the fault of those women.  Give them the vote and the next thing you know men will  be marrying men, and women marrying dolphins.  Oh wait, that has already happened in Israel ...

But, if you want to find a culprit, feminism is not the place to look. Why?  Because Christianity, aka The Way, was the very first religion or political entity to introduce the concept of equality of the sexes.  Too bad that the Roman Catholic Church had to rear its ugly head and buy into the concept of subjugation of women and bring the paganism of the Celtic world into "christianity"!  No, God brought women forward from the idea of property with no rights, to equality before Him, equality in the Spirit, equality in the Ministry, while leaving intact the idea that marriage is a cooperative effort made up of a man and woman.  Want to argue?  Loose your Roman Catholic belief set first, then argue Bible to me!

No, it took American culture, with Hollywood and its adoration of a select few highly talented homosexuals to show in the 1950's and 1960's that this group should be taken seriously.  Movies pushed the envelope of offering the acceptance of sin as being normal.  It was the minority whom disagree, the haters, the Bible thumpers, the jokes of mankind.  The visual media and the press would feed off of this sensationalizing crime against homosexuals while at the same time limiting any reporting of crimes by this special group.  They were normal, "Bubbus Americanus" was not.

This same mass media did the exact same thing with the concept of "free" sex and failing to point out that nothing is free - lives are destroyed apart from God.

This same mass media supported a RADICAL feminist agenda.  Beyond any logic or goals of value to instead push for superiority of the female species over that of lowly, confused man, stupefied by being driven wholly by his little head, not the big one ...

The "Pill" brought women unfortunate consequences in that she was now responsible for not getting pregnant, man could and did argue that he was not responsible if she did not take her own precautions.  And freed now of his responsibilities, the 1960's flourished.

Man, now stripped of any value, stripped of responsibility in sexual encounters, stripped of the belief that man and woman are normal ... becomes a creature of passion and free to pursue that passion at will, with no cost expected nor due.  It is in fact the "stupid" man whom is caught by progeny, disease, financial obligation, etc.

No, Vatican officials, if you want to know what a man is - do not look at the Marlboro Man, Rock Hudson, a Humphrey Bogart or any other Hollywood idol for your definition.  Instead consider the man whom loves and treats as an equal, because of that love, his wife.  Whom supports the advancement of her and their children.  Whom is a member of his community, working towards its betterment, whom treats all with kindness and respect.  Whom appreciates the arts and science.  Whom loves God with no disagreement possible from his peers.

This is called a Renaissance man, the man whom literally has stepped out of the darkness and into the light.  The super smart, "I am going to change the world" kind of renaissance man is sort of rare, always has been.   But, the man whom is as I described, well he used to be considered normal once upon a time.  A time when ego, vanity, greed and American Theology did not rule our culture.

I read old diaries and stories, mostly of the old American west for fun.  Imagine my surprise to find out that miners in the 1880's crowded around a campfire night after night to take turns reading and translating from the French, The Count of Monte Cristo.  Really?  I thought gold seekers were just one step up from cavemen!  They were literate, multilingual and interested in what was hot literature at the time?  Wow, have we been misled by Hollywood and history!

Wonder what ever happened to real men in the past century?  Well, I just told you ... they were not appreciated any longer and therefore rarely appear in public ...  If you want to find one, good luck, it is easier to be a Neandertal and use everyone around you - than to actually care, take responsibility and be all you could be ... if only it just wasn't such fun to be that happy go lucky Neandertal ...