Dealing With Divorce, Park 1

We live in a culture of "love", not commitment.
We live in a society where sex is thought to be the same as love.
Our families are destroyed because hormones are to be responded to.
We damage ourselves because we pursue feelings and hormones, not Godliness.

For decades I have used the illustration of, "If you want to meet a group of damaged women, suffering under the weight of multiple divorces - check our your local high school."  We allow through this western culture of "dating", what should never exist - those too immature mentally and emotionally to become involved physically - God's definition of marriage, and then to walk away from one another because of that immaturity.  You really have no understanding of today's youth culture until you understand this, nor God's expectation.

And most people marry, at least once, a high percentage numerous times - always looking and never finding, nor understanding.

In my family: the first divorce came about in 1940.  Grandmother married a swine of a man at 18 and by 25 realized just how big of a mistake that had been!  An alcoholic American Indian is not what long term relationships are made of.  Of her three children, all have been divorced at once and remarried.  Of her grandchildren, none of them necessarily married wisely, nor without struggles in the years which followed.  As for Grandmother, well 5 marriages ...  My father, 8 marriages ...  sigh ...

So, divorce is something all of us grandchildren feel strongly about ...  But, how does one deal with it?  It exists in our families, in our friend's lives, it is modeled for us in the media ... it is perfectly normal right?  After-all, people change and people cheat.  And divorce destroys ourselves and our children.  But, often what precedes a divorce, is often worse than the divorce itself.

How are we to deal with these issues?

Mark 10:1 - 12

1.  Divorce is sin, don't minimize it.
The world wants you to think that divorce is normal, that it is a success. 
God did not design you for divorce, you were built to experience real commitment and love.
Seeking new experiences and pursuing happiness is not why we exist.
God says that He hates divorce.
But, God does not hate divorced people.

2.  Divorce is serious, don't look for loopholes.
Verse 2, Pharisees were looking for loopholes to get out of marriage.
They wanted a "no fault" divorce, it was a contemporary argument at the time.
Deuteronomy 24:1 was the verse in contention.
She is disrespectful to her mother-in-law, she is a bad cook, she talked to men in the market, her hair was down in public.
Any reason was a good reason to some then, just as it is now.

3.  Divorce is permitted, don't make it a command.
Moses was discouraging divorce with his permission.
"Because of the hardness of our hearts ..."
Jesus and Moses sought to protect women and to underscore that women were not be treated as property.

4.  Divorce is real, don't side step it or step on it.
Understand that people sin and sinners need to come to God.
Know that people can suffer undesired divorces and they need our love.
Acknowledge that marriages can be damaged and need prayer.
Not to judge those whom are being damaged by their partner.