December 31, 2016
December 30, 2016
Death Celebrate
Been amazing to see all of the stars dropping at the end of the year ...
I believe it is a tragedy anytime a human dies.
I hate it.
We were never made for death
It is alien to our creation
We fight to stay alive
Sometimes cheating death for moments
But, in the end ....
Old people around here are complaining that the news is nothing but George Michaels and Carrie Fisher.
Who are they?
Why do we care?
Never heard of them!
The products of this sick culture.
If you ever wondered how we ended up where we are, look to the the aged.
Their culture had no belief in the value of human life.
Their culture had no real belief in God.
Appearance is more important than function.
Form is what is required.
Truth is relative to support appearance.
And so the unknown to them die.
It is of no relevance to them.
But Debbie Reynolds, well that is different.
"Nice Baptist girl, screwed by Hollywood ..."
They shake their heads and shuffle away.
And the next generation
With no basis in truth
Has no ability to judge truth
Has no ability to see God
But sure can worship celebrity!
And they mourn.
The excesses of Hollywood do not need to rehashed.
If you are Hollywood, you will pay the price.
Play Satan's game and it will win everytime!
So, I feel for those whom knew and loved this recent death roll.
Their lives were no less valuable than anyother
Or my own.
And I think of my extended cousin Anne
Yeah, .....
I believe it is a tragedy anytime a human dies.
I hate it.
We were never made for death
It is alien to our creation
We fight to stay alive
Sometimes cheating death for moments
But, in the end ....
Old people around here are complaining that the news is nothing but George Michaels and Carrie Fisher.
Who are they?
Why do we care?
Never heard of them!
The products of this sick culture.
If you ever wondered how we ended up where we are, look to the the aged.
Their culture had no belief in the value of human life.
Their culture had no real belief in God.
Appearance is more important than function.
Form is what is required.
Truth is relative to support appearance.
And so the unknown to them die.
It is of no relevance to them.
But Debbie Reynolds, well that is different.
"Nice Baptist girl, screwed by Hollywood ..."
They shake their heads and shuffle away.
And the next generation
With no basis in truth
Has no ability to judge truth
Has no ability to see God
But sure can worship celebrity!
And they mourn.
The excesses of Hollywood do not need to rehashed.
If you are Hollywood, you will pay the price.
Play Satan's game and it will win everytime!
So, I feel for those whom knew and loved this recent death roll.
Their lives were no less valuable than anyother
Or my own.
And I think of my extended cousin Anne
Yeah, .....
December 29, 2016
Been Interesting
please forgive my lack of capitol letters, very painful to do still
finger swelling is way down
only a greenish tinge to the hand, deeping on the joints which dislocated
the break seems to be healing well
my dr hates me and thinks i am stupid
as if this was no enough ...
i punctured my left arm and bleed heavily for days because the ER could see no reason for the bleeding
i though i would be funny and commented stigmata - right location!
i got the flu
i had a massive allergy attack to chilies -innocent this time!
that one did about kill me!
I was like, ok God, let's just end this game now ...
i had a rotational tear to my stump (caused by the size of the bone spur!)
the brakes went on my last good car,
someone dumped dirt down my sewer in qualities enough to shut down the plumbing (it was dumped in the bathroom sink, so no ideas whom or what!
the furnace shut down, so no heat through some very cold weather!
and the ants have invaded with the cold weather!
apparently, the house is still warmer than the outdoors!
so six scheduled appointments with repairmen
sigh
yesterday was my day to run my mother around
she is so far gone that she is over the horizon! gees louise!
but at goodwill at young lady came up to me and asked if i was alright, i am not but thought i was hiding the pain well. so i told her about the bone spur pain and the pending surgery - and she prayed for me on the spot!
very much appreciated.
there is hope for this culture ...
and i pray God protects that young lady!
so horribly busy
doing what i can
fretting about the rest
my mother is just a distracting from the pain
and terror
God continues to supply my need as they occur
not as i would wish - but a crust of bread is better than cake, when that is all there is ...
God supply is better than my own I realize.
and i fear that God will pull me through this
to a world i can no longer understand
for a purpose i can not fathom
to be of use to no one ...
finger swelling is way down
only a greenish tinge to the hand, deeping on the joints which dislocated
the break seems to be healing well
my dr hates me and thinks i am stupid
as if this was no enough ...
i punctured my left arm and bleed heavily for days because the ER could see no reason for the bleeding
i though i would be funny and commented stigmata - right location!
i got the flu
i had a massive allergy attack to chilies -innocent this time!
that one did about kill me!
I was like, ok God, let's just end this game now ...
i had a rotational tear to my stump (caused by the size of the bone spur!)
the brakes went on my last good car,
someone dumped dirt down my sewer in qualities enough to shut down the plumbing (it was dumped in the bathroom sink, so no ideas whom or what!
the furnace shut down, so no heat through some very cold weather!
and the ants have invaded with the cold weather!
apparently, the house is still warmer than the outdoors!
so six scheduled appointments with repairmen
sigh
yesterday was my day to run my mother around
she is so far gone that she is over the horizon! gees louise!
but at goodwill at young lady came up to me and asked if i was alright, i am not but thought i was hiding the pain well. so i told her about the bone spur pain and the pending surgery - and she prayed for me on the spot!
very much appreciated.
there is hope for this culture ...
and i pray God protects that young lady!
so horribly busy
doing what i can
fretting about the rest
my mother is just a distracting from the pain
and terror
God continues to supply my need as they occur
not as i would wish - but a crust of bread is better than cake, when that is all there is ...
God supply is better than my own I realize.
and i fear that God will pull me through this
to a world i can no longer understand
for a purpose i can not fathom
to be of use to no one ...
December 24, 2016
Musical Saturday Morning
Well, happy Christmas Eve 2016!
A time when we should be remembering a 13 to 15 year old girl, in labor with no help, more than likely in a stone fenced paddock surrounded by sheep and filth, a husband old enough to be her father --- yeah, not every girls dream.
Yet, she chose to carry a child unlike any ever born.
And do we remember Miriam (Mary to this culture) for the example of faith she was? Nah, our daughters want to dress like Lady Gaga and live like Madonna and want to be thought of as a Mary ...... sigh ...
So, in our failed culture, we get songs like this at this time of year ...... count how many times God, Joseph, Mary, Jesus, Angels, Shepherds are mentioned.
But what would this time of year be if I failed to acknowledge my loss?
Or God's strengthening of me, often moment by moment, to just hold a line?
And all things unsaid ...
A time when we should be remembering a 13 to 15 year old girl, in labor with no help, more than likely in a stone fenced paddock surrounded by sheep and filth, a husband old enough to be her father --- yeah, not every girls dream.
Yet, she chose to carry a child unlike any ever born.
And do we remember Miriam (Mary to this culture) for the example of faith she was? Nah, our daughters want to dress like Lady Gaga and live like Madonna and want to be thought of as a Mary ...... sigh ...
So, in our failed culture, we get songs like this at this time of year ...... count how many times God, Joseph, Mary, Jesus, Angels, Shepherds are mentioned.
But what would this time of year be if I failed to acknowledge my loss?
Or God's strengthening of me, often moment by moment, to just hold a line?
And all things unsaid ...
December 23, 2016
Looking At Cars
Keeping with having to be brief, due to broken hand, it has been hard to identify a topic I could do as such! Yesterday's post actually took me three days to type! Argh!
So, you might remember my car died a few months ago. It runs just good enough to go about thee miles at a time and I carry four gallons of oil with me so I can get home!
Swede has decided it is time to buy a new card. He has been sniffing around Youngest Daughter's new car and has been very impressed with it. Her only stipulation has been he can't buy a Rav4, or at least not in the same color!
So last week we tried to go sniff Toyotas but the entire sales staff took off to go to the local Seahawks Football game ... really? We went and looked at Hondas across the street. But yesterday Swede decided that it was time to try again and drove the one hour plus back down to my little burg.
We went and walked the lot. Liked the Highlander and the Rav4 for Swede, Tacoma or Tundra for me! I quickly found a "notice" on the Highlander stating that it was not intended for off-road driving ... a SUV that was not designed for off-road? Really? That has to be a huge whoops! Swede lives in the woods outside of Everett, so off-road is all he has to start and end each day! So no Highlander for him.
We concentrated on the Rav4 ......... Swede decided it would be a Hyrid, I have no idea why, other than he saw there was a big rebate which reduced his final cost. But we test drove it - and it was very nice. Swede then did a melt down .. not real big on spending money! But, about a half hour later he recovered and went back and ordered one in a beautiful blue color! So, in a week, it ought to be here!
For me:
I looked over the Tundra and the Tacoma.
I really liked the Tacoma size and options but the Tundra gets better gas mileage! HOW?
So still undecided.
And I have set August as my buy date, so no hurry.
But for you:
www.fueleconomy.gov
The is a federal site with 48 printed pages of every manufacturer and model for 2017!
Fascinating to read!
Fascinating that Toyota would have it xeroxed for you!
Fascinating to see how 'old school' many manufacturers still are!
If you are interested in a new car, definitely print this report out! Forty-eight pages in size.
So, you might remember my car died a few months ago. It runs just good enough to go about thee miles at a time and I carry four gallons of oil with me so I can get home!
Swede has decided it is time to buy a new card. He has been sniffing around Youngest Daughter's new car and has been very impressed with it. Her only stipulation has been he can't buy a Rav4, or at least not in the same color!
So last week we tried to go sniff Toyotas but the entire sales staff took off to go to the local Seahawks Football game ... really? We went and looked at Hondas across the street. But yesterday Swede decided that it was time to try again and drove the one hour plus back down to my little burg.
We went and walked the lot. Liked the Highlander and the Rav4 for Swede, Tacoma or Tundra for me! I quickly found a "notice" on the Highlander stating that it was not intended for off-road driving ... a SUV that was not designed for off-road? Really? That has to be a huge whoops! Swede lives in the woods outside of Everett, so off-road is all he has to start and end each day! So no Highlander for him.
We concentrated on the Rav4 ......... Swede decided it would be a Hyrid, I have no idea why, other than he saw there was a big rebate which reduced his final cost. But we test drove it - and it was very nice. Swede then did a melt down .. not real big on spending money! But, about a half hour later he recovered and went back and ordered one in a beautiful blue color! So, in a week, it ought to be here!
For me:
I looked over the Tundra and the Tacoma.
I really liked the Tacoma size and options but the Tundra gets better gas mileage! HOW?
So still undecided.
And I have set August as my buy date, so no hurry.
But for you:
www.fueleconomy.gov
The is a federal site with 48 printed pages of every manufacturer and model for 2017!
Fascinating to read!
Fascinating that Toyota would have it xeroxed for you!
Fascinating to see how 'old school' many manufacturers still are!
If you are interested in a new car, definitely print this report out! Forty-eight pages in size.
December 22, 2016
In Memory of Ed ...
My apologies for the brevity of this post, typing one handed is beyond mind numbing for me! And my left hand throbs because it wants to play too!
When I was in high school, I knew a girl named Janet. She was major league challenged. But, I did not care, after all, I had already found the one for me in tenth grade. So I managed to avoid all of that high school trauma/drama by being protected by the knowledge that what existed of my heart was safe. Yeah, we got to move all of that to college age instead when I had a rather rude awakening!
But Janet was the very typical teenager - over the top in all regards! A mighty unhappy, non-socialized female that guys fled from --- and she had to be my sister's best friend! So, I got regular doses of her mental and emotional states - in person or via my sister. Sigh ... Really, all she wanted was a boyfriend - but she lacked the social skills needed to attract one. And high school boys that are "hot" and everyone wants, are not what you should set your sights on in any event.
So, high school rolls by, college goes by, careers begin - my sister Sommer is now getting married to a man she had worked with for many years. By then I had been shattered years previously - and Janet is still the same annoying teenage girl internally. She walks near, I suddenly have to find a toilet! Nothing really changes ...
Now one thing my sister had told Janet years ago, was to stop asking guys to marry her as soon as they met (Yes, she literally did that - one reason she never got a date!). Instead, ask them if they would like to make shortbread with her. I remember laughing over that one. And at my sister's wedding reception there is this very distinguished man, no idea whom he is other than he has a strong Scottish brogue. I assumed that mother or grandmother had asked him come, since they both cherish their Scottish heritage and think nothing of inviting complete strangers to family events!
Janet walks up to him, introduces herself, he is apparently named Robert Burns, and asks him if he is interested in making shortbread with her ... I about blew my slice of wedding cake across the courtyard! And they were out of there!
Three months later came the wedding announcement ...
Well, he was Scottish, he was named Ed, he had four adult children, was a poet, loved shortbread and was 45 years her senior! Yeah lots of family hysterics over that one. I was, as usual, the lone voice saying, "If they are in love (truly committed to one another) then age/race/job/baldness/'what ever!' - makes no never mind!" I am usually the lone non-bigot in any group.
And Janet, whom has now changed her name to Zelda, Ed whom has legally changed his name to Robert Burns, married and faded from memory. Other than I would hear of the occasional battle in court between the children and Ed over his getting married again or changing his name ... They always lost, he was completely competent and she was definitely not a gold digger - he had nothing actually. They lived off of his meager retirement and her income as a librarian.
Ed's body slowly wore down across the years and began failing weeks ago. His passing only noted by the lone piper at the memorial and the howl when the children found out there really had been nothing to spend from Ed's life on themselves. The howl was so bad that their church cancelled the memorial and it had to be moved to an undisclosed bar! The pastor is still working with the police and FBI over the children's antics - for prosecution! Yeah, real works of art!
And I grew in admiration of Janet across the years, she stayed with her man to the end, when many would have cut and run in this disposable society. Twenty-five years they were together and in their little burg they were heralded as the love story of the century in the local paper. Yeah, not famous, wealthy or anything ... but all whom knew them, were enriched by their love for one another. It really was sort of a fairy tale.
So, life continues.
Janet is having to sell off everything there is in order to pay the medical expenses, she really has no idea as to what to do now.
I imagine she will not be making any shortbread in the near future ...
When I was in high school, I knew a girl named Janet. She was major league challenged. But, I did not care, after all, I had already found the one for me in tenth grade. So I managed to avoid all of that high school trauma/drama by being protected by the knowledge that what existed of my heart was safe. Yeah, we got to move all of that to college age instead when I had a rather rude awakening!
But Janet was the very typical teenager - over the top in all regards! A mighty unhappy, non-socialized female that guys fled from --- and she had to be my sister's best friend! So, I got regular doses of her mental and emotional states - in person or via my sister. Sigh ... Really, all she wanted was a boyfriend - but she lacked the social skills needed to attract one. And high school boys that are "hot" and everyone wants, are not what you should set your sights on in any event.
So, high school rolls by, college goes by, careers begin - my sister Sommer is now getting married to a man she had worked with for many years. By then I had been shattered years previously - and Janet is still the same annoying teenage girl internally. She walks near, I suddenly have to find a toilet! Nothing really changes ...
Now one thing my sister had told Janet years ago, was to stop asking guys to marry her as soon as they met (Yes, she literally did that - one reason she never got a date!). Instead, ask them if they would like to make shortbread with her. I remember laughing over that one. And at my sister's wedding reception there is this very distinguished man, no idea whom he is other than he has a strong Scottish brogue. I assumed that mother or grandmother had asked him come, since they both cherish their Scottish heritage and think nothing of inviting complete strangers to family events!
Janet walks up to him, introduces herself, he is apparently named Robert Burns, and asks him if he is interested in making shortbread with her ... I about blew my slice of wedding cake across the courtyard! And they were out of there!
Three months later came the wedding announcement ...
Well, he was Scottish, he was named Ed, he had four adult children, was a poet, loved shortbread and was 45 years her senior! Yeah lots of family hysterics over that one. I was, as usual, the lone voice saying, "If they are in love (truly committed to one another) then age/race/job/baldness/'what ever!' - makes no never mind!" I am usually the lone non-bigot in any group.
And Janet, whom has now changed her name to Zelda, Ed whom has legally changed his name to Robert Burns, married and faded from memory. Other than I would hear of the occasional battle in court between the children and Ed over his getting married again or changing his name ... They always lost, he was completely competent and she was definitely not a gold digger - he had nothing actually. They lived off of his meager retirement and her income as a librarian.
Ed's body slowly wore down across the years and began failing weeks ago. His passing only noted by the lone piper at the memorial and the howl when the children found out there really had been nothing to spend from Ed's life on themselves. The howl was so bad that their church cancelled the memorial and it had to be moved to an undisclosed bar! The pastor is still working with the police and FBI over the children's antics - for prosecution! Yeah, real works of art!
And I grew in admiration of Janet across the years, she stayed with her man to the end, when many would have cut and run in this disposable society. Twenty-five years they were together and in their little burg they were heralded as the love story of the century in the local paper. Yeah, not famous, wealthy or anything ... but all whom knew them, were enriched by their love for one another. It really was sort of a fairy tale.
So, life continues.
Janet is having to sell off everything there is in order to pay the medical expenses, she really has no idea as to what to do now.
I imagine she will not be making any shortbread in the near future ...
December 20, 2016
Life Slows Down
So life has suddenly hit the brakes on me! Yeah, having only one working hand now, a ton to do before the holidays, three grand kids staying with me - and everything suddenly is at a stand still!
Been boxing up my library to put it into storage - but did leave a pile of books beside my bed to read, as I am able to, come surgery in 28 days. Now how to move them??????
Still struggling with cooking, even more now though.
Still fearful of the surgery.
Still worried at what my mental condition will be ...
But, only a few more presents to get, to be done.
Food shopping still on the list.
Been boxing up my library to put it into storage - but did leave a pile of books beside my bed to read, as I am able to, come surgery in 28 days. Now how to move them??????
Still struggling with cooking, even more now though.
Still fearful of the surgery.
Still worried at what my mental condition will be ...
But, only a few more presents to get, to be done.
Food shopping still on the list.
December 17, 2016
December 16, 2016
It Was ...
I survived the stress test, day one.
Today is day two of the test,
But now I am broken!
I broke my hand opening the refrigerator,
Don't ask ...
Two dislocated fingers,
and one break!
Gees Kris!
Really?
So the next six weeks will be a little sparse, since typing is now done one handed only ...
sigh
December 15, 2016
Gonna Be A Bad Day
As I have mentioned earlier - today is my stress test.
I am literally terrified.
Which is not within my realm of experience!
The point of the test is to force as close to a heart attack as possible.
I think I might have that attack before hand!
I fear not being able to have my surgery,
I want it,
I need it badly .....
But then today was spent with my mother, as negative she is.
The stress of just being around her is substantial...
It is possible she has never said a nice thing about anyone,
Ever!
So Thursday morning,
Caffeine less,
I get to be pump full of drugs to tweak out my heart,
Very uncomfortable!
All prayers welcome .....
I am literally terrified.
Which is not within my realm of experience!
The point of the test is to force as close to a heart attack as possible.
I think I might have that attack before hand!
I fear not being able to have my surgery,
I want it,
I need it badly .....
But then today was spent with my mother, as negative she is.
The stress of just being around her is substantial...
It is possible she has never said a nice thing about anyone,
Ever!
So Thursday morning,
Caffeine less,
I get to be pump full of drugs to tweak out my heart,
Very uncomfortable!
All prayers welcome .....
December 13, 2016
Of His Kingdom
Luke 1:26-33
"Of His Kingdom there will be no end ..."
This statement gives us something to think about.
We are so temporally fixated with what we want to see, how we want to live, what we are willing to admit to.
Life is short, if you can not see beyond what is, then you are cursed to only seeing the vanity of life.
This past year I have been either cursed or gifted (depending on how you view things!) to see things far from the realm of just our insignificant existence.
Don't Bet On The Kingdom of Earth
All things of Earth will pass away.
We pursue what is of no importance at all.
We know what is of no importance at all.
We honor what is of no importance at all.
We seek significance - in hopes of being remembered.
Look To The Kingdom of God
Eternal
Indestructable
Made up of people - whom Jesus calls
Based wholly on God's LOVE.
Find Life Now
The Kingdom of God is not in the future
It is here and now!
(Colossians 1:13-14)
The Kingdom of God Can Never Be Shaken
His Church can not be stopped
His followers will be found
His followers will hear His voice.
"Of His Kingdom there will be no end ..."
This statement gives us something to think about.
We are so temporally fixated with what we want to see, how we want to live, what we are willing to admit to.
Life is short, if you can not see beyond what is, then you are cursed to only seeing the vanity of life.
This past year I have been either cursed or gifted (depending on how you view things!) to see things far from the realm of just our insignificant existence.
Don't Bet On The Kingdom of Earth
All things of Earth will pass away.
We pursue what is of no importance at all.
We know what is of no importance at all.
We honor what is of no importance at all.
We seek significance - in hopes of being remembered.
Look To The Kingdom of God
Eternal
Indestructable
Made up of people - whom Jesus calls
Based wholly on God's LOVE.
Find Life Now
The Kingdom of God is not in the future
It is here and now!
(Colossians 1:13-14)
The Kingdom of God Can Never Be Shaken
His Church can not be stopped
His followers will be found
His followers will hear His voice.
December 12, 2016
Wired
Last week was fairly awful, this Friday will be the second worse for all of the tests - as my cardiologist attempts to stimulate my heart into failure ... I really hate that test!
But the winner for worst of the worse ..... a brain neurological study. I had given much thought to this because there is little information out there - how can they map brain damage?
Well, let us just say that if used during wartime, there would be war crime commissions set up to figure out whom to prosecute ..... OMG!
I fear my grasp of language is still fairly limited, I can not describe in sufficient detail the horrors of what they did to my mind, in the name of science of course!
First I had to have 75 implants in my scalp ... I remembered thinking about the first atomic bomb and its radii of detenators surrounding the sphere! What if they back filled a signal down those wires? Would my head blow? I started laughing at the "puff!" which would surely be observed as my two ears banged each other from the empty cavity implosion (I was so blamed for my entire youth)! LOL!!!!!! This took 1.5 hours!
Then I had to lay still for 4 hours. I have a bad back from a car accident years ago and laying on my back is not one of my favorite positions - much less for hour after hour! So, lots of squirming! And while laying there, you have to breathe through your mouth! I have no idea why, it is most distracting! And then you are not supposed to swallow! Really?????
Yeah, I am not a good patient I fear. I did everything wrong. sigh ...
And then the worse .... visual stimulation with bright lights flashing in differing patterns. Really? I almost passed out at one point. My mind could not take the rapid changes - much like that video I held off sharing for months - I could not share it due to the rapid stop action of the video!
Other things I had to do was just lay there, quietly.
Do deep breathing exercises.
Hyperventilate!
Clasp hands with eyes closed, unclasp.
Open eyes and stare into flashing lights.
Yeah outside of the lights, it was really not an issue. But, I tell you if some piece of information would have turned them off - I would have squealed like a piglet at a grease pig catching contest! I would have even made up answers if I had to ...
It took me a little while to recover from this. I thought about prisoners of war and at how their treatment was far worse. I was just facing flashing lights - there are men I have known whom were broken as human beings by the torture they underwent during war time.
Freed of wires, I stumbled out into the bright day and headed to the local hair salon to get them to wash that electo-conducting gel out of my hair! It only took five application! LOL
It will be a few weeks before they have a statement as to the physical nature of my brain trauma, not that it matters, I already know there is little anyone can do to recreate my mind .....
and I am fairly certain I do not want that mind recreated ...
But the winner for worst of the worse ..... a brain neurological study. I had given much thought to this because there is little information out there - how can they map brain damage?
Well, let us just say that if used during wartime, there would be war crime commissions set up to figure out whom to prosecute ..... OMG!
I fear my grasp of language is still fairly limited, I can not describe in sufficient detail the horrors of what they did to my mind, in the name of science of course!
First I had to have 75 implants in my scalp ... I remembered thinking about the first atomic bomb and its radii of detenators surrounding the sphere! What if they back filled a signal down those wires? Would my head blow? I started laughing at the "puff!" which would surely be observed as my two ears banged each other from the empty cavity implosion (I was so blamed for my entire youth)! LOL!!!!!! This took 1.5 hours!
Then I had to lay still for 4 hours. I have a bad back from a car accident years ago and laying on my back is not one of my favorite positions - much less for hour after hour! So, lots of squirming! And while laying there, you have to breathe through your mouth! I have no idea why, it is most distracting! And then you are not supposed to swallow! Really?????
Yeah, I am not a good patient I fear. I did everything wrong. sigh ...
And then the worse .... visual stimulation with bright lights flashing in differing patterns. Really? I almost passed out at one point. My mind could not take the rapid changes - much like that video I held off sharing for months - I could not share it due to the rapid stop action of the video!
Other things I had to do was just lay there, quietly.
Do deep breathing exercises.
Hyperventilate!
Clasp hands with eyes closed, unclasp.
Open eyes and stare into flashing lights.
Yeah outside of the lights, it was really not an issue. But, I tell you if some piece of information would have turned them off - I would have squealed like a piglet at a grease pig catching contest! I would have even made up answers if I had to ...
It took me a little while to recover from this. I thought about prisoners of war and at how their treatment was far worse. I was just facing flashing lights - there are men I have known whom were broken as human beings by the torture they underwent during war time.
Freed of wires, I stumbled out into the bright day and headed to the local hair salon to get them to wash that electo-conducting gel out of my hair! It only took five application! LOL
It will be a few weeks before they have a statement as to the physical nature of my brain trauma, not that it matters, I already know there is little anyone can do to recreate my mind .....
and I am fairly certain I do not want that mind recreated ...
December 10, 2016
Musical Saturday Morning
Okay, this is a horrible video, but it cracked me so I am sharing it!
It is also from the 1980's but just too horrible to share as a first Saturday of the month video!
Intrigued yet?
LOL
(unfortunately, on my netbook the next video in this bizarre collection auto plays, do yourself a favor and just end the video at the end of the song ...)
It is also from the 1980's but just too horrible to share as a first Saturday of the month video!
Intrigued yet?
LOL
(unfortunately, on my netbook the next video in this bizarre collection auto plays, do yourself a favor and just end the video at the end of the song ...)
December 9, 2016
Leavenworth, Washington
 |
| Leavenworth with just a touch of snow |
So, when given the chance of taking a trip yesterday to Leavenworth, Washington with a bus load of retirees ... nope, no interest! Its a bunch of old people after-all! Oh, wait, I guess on the outside I am that "old" - LOL.
There were 31 of us on the trip, I was definitely the youngest!, a nice two hour drive over slightly icy roads to parking lots filled with cars, lots of old people running around and I have to admit I was wondering if there was a white hair convention in town! But, I guess mid-week is a good time for retirees to show up.
On the trip was one the ladies from my church. I knew she came because she is trying to fill her hours. Her husband died last year, so I offered to buy her lunch if she was interested in yakking. She was excited.
Once in town, we were met by a Santa Claus for photos, we saw him later at Starbucks filling out an application! LOL Guess even old Santas have to have options was well! And the lady I was going to take to lunch disappeared .... I have no idea how those short little legs spirited her away so quickly! So, I roamed around a bit, did not find much that interested me, nor as gifts for others. The town had set up a snow maker to create snow on a green strip next to the shopping district and kids appeared - from whom knows where - very excitedly throwing themselves down the short slope. The way it should be, when you are young .... Settled down to what should have been a fine meal at my favorite place in this town - and - it simply was the worse meal I have had since being allowed to escape from rehab after my operation! For entertainment I was listening to the longest line of bull I have ever heard from a 90 year old (POC!) man, whom was hitting on a 50 something blond .... I wanted to shake her and scream, "Run!". But, she bought his line of bull, hook-line-and-sinker! They concluded their meal with plans to leave for Mexico on Saturday. I just sat stunned at her gullibility and wondered in the back of my mind if this was how my father was: hunting constantly and somehow always finding his next victim. Sigh ... it just makes me ill to see people preyed upon.
The clouds began to roll in as we loaded the bus for home. Two snowflakes tapped me on the neck as I stood on the stairs of the bus to take the above picture.
We had lots of lively chatting on the way home, lots of laughter - thankfully it filled the four hours it took to get home! Traffic was simply horrible once we hit Bellevue! At one point it took us 45 minutes to just advance half a mile .... really poor road design ... sigh ...
So, it was 7:30 when we finally made it back to the parking lot we had all met at, 2 hours late due to the last eleven miles we had to travel. And I have to admit those 2 hours was horrible! Several of us were having severe bladder pain by the time we arrived at our destination, as the driver would not stop and I honestly was wondering whom was going to blow first! But, at least I made it to my favorite Mexican cantina and refreshing relief!
It was a fun trip, I will probably do another one day, as my body allows.
December 8, 2016
Gold Pan
Everyone knows what a gold pan looks like: steel, round with sloping edges.
I used one all of the way through high school during the summer as I worked the dirt of my claim outside of Apex, Colorado - it now has a house built on it!
About 1980 I was working with a re-enactment group and they wanted to do a correct set ups for 1840's prospectors. The only problem is that gold pans were never made from steel, steel was far too costly and rare in that time frame!
So, I researched this and found some real 1850's pans and they were all copper, it made sense once I thought about it. And to find a copper "gold pan" was not hard, they are made by only one company as engraved presentation gifts. They are really nothing more than a pan shape - it would never work as a gold pan at all! And the company had no interest in production of a real pan.
With a little luck, I found a guy not far from my house whom owned a metal spinner. A tool which will spin a plate of metal and with an assortment of attachments which will allow the shaping of the plate as it spins through application of pressure. The guy made pizza pans mostly.
He was open to the idea of working in copper, so I drew up the design of what the pan needed to look like. He blew up all over me! How dare I tell him how to make a gold pan! I walked away .... I had confirmed orders for 250 of these pans, but if he could not produce them, then there literally was no one out there to do it!
Advance 36 years and I am at a Christmas arts and craft show in the Seattle area. Now remember, I have NO memory!, and yet, there is a guy there whom looks so familiar .....
So, I walked over to his booth to see what he had. He ignored me, which is fine, everyone does - guess he did not know me - so maybe I am just confused. But, he does metal spinning! And I am thinking, " wait a minute ...."
I looked at this goods, mostly pizza pans in aluminum. I found some 4" gold pans, interesting but they were just gold pan shaped. And then, there it was: a copper shaped 18" gold pan ... I gingerly picked it up. I gently ran my finger over the curve, it was perfect. My fingers told me that the grooves had all been spun in, again perfect, and it was only $12 ...
I handed him a $20.00.
"Well, that is $12.00 and there is tax - and you damn well better be paying the tax!"
I said nothing. Just smiled.
"Okay, that is $13.14 with the tax and now I have to give you change!"
He said this so loudly and unpleasantly, even other dealers where looking at him to figure out what his problem was!
He tossed the money on the table, not bothering to count it, no thank you, no Merry Christmas ....
He just returned to staring off in the distance.
I started to move away when the lady in the next booth held out a bag to put the pan in. "I am sorry, he is just a very unpleasant person ..." She smiled and wished me a Merry Christmas.
And I walked away.
Surprised to have found him thousands of miles away ... 36 years later.
Happy that I at least had one pan for me, which was correct.
Irritated that he was selling my design.
Irritated that he had refused to do it when both of us could have made some real money!
Sorry for him, for he is a miserable - little - man ...
He was so rude, I honestly could not even wish him a Merry Christmas. And yet, this season when we remember Jesus' birth ... to come, to die, for me and men exactly like that very unpleasant man.
Yeah, I felt bad about that later.
It was the least I could have done to have risen above his behavior.
To have tried to show at least God's love.
I used one all of the way through high school during the summer as I worked the dirt of my claim outside of Apex, Colorado - it now has a house built on it!
About 1980 I was working with a re-enactment group and they wanted to do a correct set ups for 1840's prospectors. The only problem is that gold pans were never made from steel, steel was far too costly and rare in that time frame!
So, I researched this and found some real 1850's pans and they were all copper, it made sense once I thought about it. And to find a copper "gold pan" was not hard, they are made by only one company as engraved presentation gifts. They are really nothing more than a pan shape - it would never work as a gold pan at all! And the company had no interest in production of a real pan.
With a little luck, I found a guy not far from my house whom owned a metal spinner. A tool which will spin a plate of metal and with an assortment of attachments which will allow the shaping of the plate as it spins through application of pressure. The guy made pizza pans mostly.
He was open to the idea of working in copper, so I drew up the design of what the pan needed to look like. He blew up all over me! How dare I tell him how to make a gold pan! I walked away .... I had confirmed orders for 250 of these pans, but if he could not produce them, then there literally was no one out there to do it!
Advance 36 years and I am at a Christmas arts and craft show in the Seattle area. Now remember, I have NO memory!, and yet, there is a guy there whom looks so familiar .....
So, I walked over to his booth to see what he had. He ignored me, which is fine, everyone does - guess he did not know me - so maybe I am just confused. But, he does metal spinning! And I am thinking, " wait a minute ...."
I looked at this goods, mostly pizza pans in aluminum. I found some 4" gold pans, interesting but they were just gold pan shaped. And then, there it was: a copper shaped 18" gold pan ... I gingerly picked it up. I gently ran my finger over the curve, it was perfect. My fingers told me that the grooves had all been spun in, again perfect, and it was only $12 ...
I handed him a $20.00.
"Well, that is $12.00 and there is tax - and you damn well better be paying the tax!"
I said nothing. Just smiled.
"Okay, that is $13.14 with the tax and now I have to give you change!"
He said this so loudly and unpleasantly, even other dealers where looking at him to figure out what his problem was!
He tossed the money on the table, not bothering to count it, no thank you, no Merry Christmas ....
He just returned to staring off in the distance.
I started to move away when the lady in the next booth held out a bag to put the pan in. "I am sorry, he is just a very unpleasant person ..." She smiled and wished me a Merry Christmas.
And I walked away.
Surprised to have found him thousands of miles away ... 36 years later.
Happy that I at least had one pan for me, which was correct.
Irritated that he was selling my design.
Irritated that he had refused to do it when both of us could have made some real money!
Sorry for him, for he is a miserable - little - man ...
He was so rude, I honestly could not even wish him a Merry Christmas. And yet, this season when we remember Jesus' birth ... to come, to die, for me and men exactly like that very unpleasant man.
Yeah, I felt bad about that later.
It was the least I could have done to have risen above his behavior.
To have tried to show at least God's love.
December 7, 2016
Facing Eternity
Paul has traveled to Corinth and answers the question of his Apostle status.
Acts 18:1-17
2 Corinthisans 5:10
The Bema Seat, was the place from where judgements were rendered, where the Torah could be read from, where one would teach from. It was a place of honor.
Service, Not Salvation
How will you represent Him?
What is the fruit of your life?
God's Steward
Approach each day, not as an opportunity for you but to represent God to your realm of influence.
Casting Crowns
Each of us, as Christians, receive one or more crowns.
These then are to be thrown as Jesus' feet.
I would not pretend to understand the importance of rewards beyond life.
I would not pretend to understand why "crowns".
Giving them back to Jesus - sure, all is His to begin with!
I have no comfort with the thought of eternal reward.
I take comfort in the thought of eternal clemency ...
I guess, what is important is to use each day we are given to life His life, not our own.
To know we can then face eternity in His comfort ...
Acts 18:1-17
2 Corinthisans 5:10
The Bema Seat, was the place from where judgements were rendered, where the Torah could be read from, where one would teach from. It was a place of honor.
Service, Not Salvation
How will you represent Him?
What is the fruit of your life?
God's Steward
Approach each day, not as an opportunity for you but to represent God to your realm of influence.
Casting Crowns
Each of us, as Christians, receive one or more crowns.
These then are to be thrown as Jesus' feet.
I would not pretend to understand the importance of rewards beyond life.
I would not pretend to understand why "crowns".
Giving them back to Jesus - sure, all is His to begin with!
I have no comfort with the thought of eternal reward.
I take comfort in the thought of eternal clemency ...
I guess, what is important is to use each day we are given to life His life, not our own.
To know we can then face eternity in His comfort ...
Eleven Doctors
Sorry this post is so late for the day!
Yesterday was spent madly running around because I knew I would be in various doctors offices for the whole of Tuesday! :(
Net result was a new pair of glasses ordered, a cardiac stress test scheduled for next week :( , and I managed to slip in mailing all of my Christmas packages, save for what needs to go to my Aunts in Switzerland.
Sigh, what a day!!!!!!
Yesterday was spent madly running around because I knew I would be in various doctors offices for the whole of Tuesday! :(
Net result was a new pair of glasses ordered, a cardiac stress test scheduled for next week :( , and I managed to slip in mailing all of my Christmas packages, save for what needs to go to my Aunts in Switzerland.
Sigh, what a day!!!!!!
December 5, 2016
Retired
So, I did it.
It is now official.
I went into Social Security and declared myself retired.
It was an exhausting day of just sitting there, crowded with hundreds.
All I had to do was turn in two pieces of paper but you could not mail them, no in person only!
So, I sat for 3.5 hours before I called called to the window.
And in 30 seconds I was out of there!
I walked slowly to my favorite cantina.
Wondering about the future.
I gave up finding another job.
I gave up a secure future.
But, at least the income will double what I have.
Royalties + SS retirement = can now live.
My financial future locked in.
All of my debts are paid.
But, no future I see for me.
Not sure what to do now.
I guess for now, just get in shape for the next surgery.
Somehow survive the recovery as I did last time.
And then .....
The future is an open book
And mystery ...
It is now official.
I went into Social Security and declared myself retired.
It was an exhausting day of just sitting there, crowded with hundreds.
All I had to do was turn in two pieces of paper but you could not mail them, no in person only!
So, I sat for 3.5 hours before I called called to the window.
And in 30 seconds I was out of there!
I walked slowly to my favorite cantina.
Wondering about the future.
I gave up finding another job.
I gave up a secure future.
But, at least the income will double what I have.
Royalties + SS retirement = can now live.
My financial future locked in.
All of my debts are paid.
But, no future I see for me.
Not sure what to do now.
I guess for now, just get in shape for the next surgery.
Somehow survive the recovery as I did last time.
And then .....
The future is an open book
And mystery ...
December 3, 2016
December 2, 2016
Perspective: So What
Well, never let it be said that I do not get emails! And, it seems few got the idea from what yesterday's post is really about!
It dealt with truth - to hide it or not? Which is better? Two different cultures, two vastly different approaches ...
We are sinners, we are born into to it, we come to it naturally, we excuse it and then make it better by letting it become the standard of behavior. Piece by piece we draw further from God, sin becoming the norm, then new sin replacing what we now accept, then a new norm. Eventually, you end up in a place you never could have imagined, much less recognize, because there is a memory of where you started out at - and it sure is not where you have ended up!
Kant said, "... anyone who misunderstands or questions the significance of outward appearance in the world is a traitor to humanity."
Did you catch that? To hide the truth is to be preferred to saving the knowledge of man's failures. At all cost, hide the truth from future generations!
Ever hear the adage about "those whom do not learn from history, are condemned to repeat it"? Well, you just found out why Kant's idea is so poorly conceived! So, over and over again - seemingly without end, our culture continually repeats the same mistakes over and over again! Never to learn, always to be surprised by the same results! It disturbs me to distraction this cyclic myopia!
Okay, so back to the eMailed questions: "So What?"
Look at the world today:
Merkel, at the head of the German government is not fairing well.
Why?
Because the culture in that country believes in revelation of all, no hidden secrets.
And Merkel had been manipulated by the EU and the USA to bow to their desires on a host of issues from refugees to the Middle East Crisis.
And it was hidden ...
Like most things, what is hidden, ends up revealed!
Merkel is facing the lost of her position and power now.
Perhaps even a retreat of the Germany from the EU!
All because Merkel is a dishonest politician in a country where dishonesty is not appreciated.
In similar situations, Canada and Great Britain are struggling.
Difference is, their culture says to hide the bad and go forward.
But, what happens when news agencies find out about the government's less than ethical policies which are causing the world situation today?
Yeah, coverup, duck, and pretend - until the people hear the truth and have had enough.
In America, we just went through a rough election where unqualified people duked it out and the biggest mouth won.
Notice how it was all about revealing secrets from one side or the other?
That is thanks to our history as cover up central and pretend there are no issues.
And the opening of the trash cans has been very interesting ...
So, I hope that explains better why the difference between cultures have to be considered and are a valid viewpoint when dealing with real world issues!
Something to notice and think about.
How do you approach life?
I tend towards total honesty.
My mother, friends and most people I know in America - total concealment and lies.
My family in Switzerland, caustic honesty!
Which is better?
I like honesty - expressed in love .....
It dealt with truth - to hide it or not? Which is better? Two different cultures, two vastly different approaches ...
We are sinners, we are born into to it, we come to it naturally, we excuse it and then make it better by letting it become the standard of behavior. Piece by piece we draw further from God, sin becoming the norm, then new sin replacing what we now accept, then a new norm. Eventually, you end up in a place you never could have imagined, much less recognize, because there is a memory of where you started out at - and it sure is not where you have ended up!
Kant said, "... anyone who misunderstands or questions the significance of outward appearance in the world is a traitor to humanity."
Did you catch that? To hide the truth is to be preferred to saving the knowledge of man's failures. At all cost, hide the truth from future generations!
Ever hear the adage about "those whom do not learn from history, are condemned to repeat it"? Well, you just found out why Kant's idea is so poorly conceived! So, over and over again - seemingly without end, our culture continually repeats the same mistakes over and over again! Never to learn, always to be surprised by the same results! It disturbs me to distraction this cyclic myopia!
Okay, so back to the eMailed questions: "So What?"
Look at the world today:
Merkel, at the head of the German government is not fairing well.
Why?
Because the culture in that country believes in revelation of all, no hidden secrets.
And Merkel had been manipulated by the EU and the USA to bow to their desires on a host of issues from refugees to the Middle East Crisis.
And it was hidden ...
Like most things, what is hidden, ends up revealed!
Merkel is facing the lost of her position and power now.
Perhaps even a retreat of the Germany from the EU!
All because Merkel is a dishonest politician in a country where dishonesty is not appreciated.
In similar situations, Canada and Great Britain are struggling.
Difference is, their culture says to hide the bad and go forward.
But, what happens when news agencies find out about the government's less than ethical policies which are causing the world situation today?
Yeah, coverup, duck, and pretend - until the people hear the truth and have had enough.
In America, we just went through a rough election where unqualified people duked it out and the biggest mouth won.
Notice how it was all about revealing secrets from one side or the other?
That is thanks to our history as cover up central and pretend there are no issues.
And the opening of the trash cans has been very interesting ...
So, I hope that explains better why the difference between cultures have to be considered and are a valid viewpoint when dealing with real world issues!
Something to notice and think about.
How do you approach life?
I tend towards total honesty.
My mother, friends and most people I know in America - total concealment and lies.
My family in Switzerland, caustic honesty!
Which is better?
I like honesty - expressed in love .....
December 1, 2016
Perspective: England vs Germany
Germany has some interesting "facts" every school child must know. For instance, we we were taught that doctors KNOW the main cause of death in America is people choking on ice. Hence, no iced drinks in the Germany I grew up in!
Well, after 47 years here, I still have to hear of anyone choking on their ice! But, that is just one example and easy to enjoy and laugh at. Others are a bit harder ...
I try to read my Bonhoeffer books every decade or so, but since I have no mind now, I have no idea when the last time was. So, with my unexpected free time last week (as I waited for a friend whom never came) I reread his, Letters From Prison.
And, I do have a bit of problem with Bonhoeffer, he has been canonized by the American Lutheran Church, their only saint. Yeah, it bites at me. Someone whom decides to become involved in the attempted murder of a national leader, even if it is Hitler, has no right to be declared a saint or martyr. They are guilty of murder. And he paid the price for that, as God claims is His right. It was unfortunate that Bonhoeffer could not have lived his faith, a part of which states that God raises up rulers and authorities. So even if you believe your leader to be the anti-Christ, as Bonhoeffer and many others did, you need discernment - and Germany had none at the time.
So, I am reading along and stumbled on a phrase, "English - hypocrisy"
This was then immediately contrasted with, "German - honesty"
That one took some thought!
I actually had to go to Kant to understand what was being said here. Bonhoeffer was a big fan of Kant! I think Kant ... never mind, I will be nice here ...
German philosophical thought says, good or bad, all is disclosed.
English philosophical thought says, that bad is to be hidden.
So, now from a German perspective, it is easy to see why the English (and Americans) can not be trusted - they will lie to cover up anything which is decided to be an unpopular viewpoint.
However, as we know, post-World War II has show light in the dark recesses of the Third Reich - the Germans are hardly honest in their dealings with one another or anyone one else ... Bonhoeffer did not know, no one knew, of the depth of evil Germany had become.
Which does not negate the statement that those of the English culture are hypocrites.
Indeed, the requirement for our leaders to bury anything and everything under layers of secrecy - most of which are just embarrassing to the current administration! Self preservation, not national interest, is a real problem in my book for secrecy's usage. It is one thing to not wish to broadcast your weapon's capabilities, it is entirely another to hid behind National Interest because you are hiding your sin before God (as if you could!).
So, okay, it took a full day to grasp what Bonhoeffer was saying and why.
Truth is over rated, there must be discernment.
Secrets are meaningless, when all must be kept secret.
Driving home again the importance of DISCERNMENT in this culture!
Well, after 47 years here, I still have to hear of anyone choking on their ice! But, that is just one example and easy to enjoy and laugh at. Others are a bit harder ...
I try to read my Bonhoeffer books every decade or so, but since I have no mind now, I have no idea when the last time was. So, with my unexpected free time last week (as I waited for a friend whom never came) I reread his, Letters From Prison.
And, I do have a bit of problem with Bonhoeffer, he has been canonized by the American Lutheran Church, their only saint. Yeah, it bites at me. Someone whom decides to become involved in the attempted murder of a national leader, even if it is Hitler, has no right to be declared a saint or martyr. They are guilty of murder. And he paid the price for that, as God claims is His right. It was unfortunate that Bonhoeffer could not have lived his faith, a part of which states that God raises up rulers and authorities. So even if you believe your leader to be the anti-Christ, as Bonhoeffer and many others did, you need discernment - and Germany had none at the time.
So, I am reading along and stumbled on a phrase, "English - hypocrisy"
This was then immediately contrasted with, "German - honesty"
That one took some thought!
I actually had to go to Kant to understand what was being said here. Bonhoeffer was a big fan of Kant! I think Kant ... never mind, I will be nice here ...
German philosophical thought says, good or bad, all is disclosed.
English philosophical thought says, that bad is to be hidden.
So, now from a German perspective, it is easy to see why the English (and Americans) can not be trusted - they will lie to cover up anything which is decided to be an unpopular viewpoint.
However, as we know, post-World War II has show light in the dark recesses of the Third Reich - the Germans are hardly honest in their dealings with one another or anyone one else ... Bonhoeffer did not know, no one knew, of the depth of evil Germany had become.
Which does not negate the statement that those of the English culture are hypocrites.
Indeed, the requirement for our leaders to bury anything and everything under layers of secrecy - most of which are just embarrassing to the current administration! Self preservation, not national interest, is a real problem in my book for secrecy's usage. It is one thing to not wish to broadcast your weapon's capabilities, it is entirely another to hid behind National Interest because you are hiding your sin before God (as if you could!).
So, okay, it took a full day to grasp what Bonhoeffer was saying and why.
Truth is over rated, there must be discernment.
Secrets are meaningless, when all must be kept secret.
Driving home again the importance of DISCERNMENT in this culture!
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