Wired

Last week was fairly awful, this Friday will be the second worse for all of the tests - as my cardiologist attempts to stimulate my heart into failure ...  I really hate that test!

But the winner for worst of the worse ..... a brain neurological study.  I had given much thought to this because there is little information out there - how can they map brain damage?

Well, let us just say that if used during wartime, there would be war crime commissions set up to figure out whom to prosecute .....  OMG!

I fear my grasp of language is still fairly limited, I can not describe in sufficient detail the horrors of what they did to my mind, in the name of science of course!

First I had to have 75 implants in my scalp ... I remembered thinking about the first atomic bomb and its radii of detenators surrounding the sphere!  What if they back filled a signal down those wires?  Would my head blow?  I started laughing at the "puff!" which would surely be observed as my two ears banged each other from the empty cavity implosion (I was so blamed for my entire youth)!  LOL!!!!!!  This took 1.5 hours!

Then I had to lay still for 4 hours.  I have a bad back from a car accident years ago and laying on my back is not one of my favorite positions - much less for hour after hour!  So, lots of squirming!  And while laying there, you have to breathe through your mouth!  I have no idea why, it is most distracting!  And then you are not supposed to swallow!  Really?????

Yeah, I am not a good patient I fear.  I did everything wrong.  sigh ...

And then the worse .... visual stimulation with bright lights flashing in differing patterns.  Really?  I almost passed out at one point.  My mind could not take the rapid changes - much like that video I held off sharing for months - I could not share it due to the rapid stop action of the video!

Other things I had to do was just lay there, quietly.
Do deep breathing exercises.
Hyperventilate!
Clasp hands with eyes closed, unclasp.
Open eyes and stare into flashing lights.

Yeah outside of the lights, it was really not an issue.  But, I tell you if some piece of information would have turned them off - I would have squealed like a piglet at a grease pig catching contest!  I would have even made up answers if I had to ...

It took me a little while to recover from this.  I thought about prisoners of war and at how their treatment was far worse.  I was just facing flashing lights - there are men I have known whom were broken as human beings by the torture they underwent during war time.

Freed of wires, I stumbled out into the bright day and headed to the local hair salon to get them to wash that electo-conducting gel out of my hair!  It only took five application!  LOL


It will be a few weeks before they have a statement as to the physical nature of my brain trauma, not that it matters, I already know there is little anyone can do to recreate my mind .....
and I am fairly certain I do not want that mind recreated ...