Feverish Dreams

Usually, when I have a fever or am delirious, my dreams are more like nightmares - so really not worthy of comment unless I found something humorous in them.

For instance, my Thursday through Sunday nightmares - bizarre beyond all belief, was complicated because I lost vision and could only speak in German!  Of course, no one else could speak German, so no one could understand I was trying to convey that I wanted to live ... 
But, I was out of my mind with fever.  I was quite normal when the fevers' would ebb.

And then sometimes, I just do not want to wake up ...

The blue of my uniform was dark and clean against the dust and sage.
My gold cording and ribbing were all gleaming.
My sword was at the ready, for Black Hawk had only been put down months before.
I wore one of my Roger & Spencer revolvers.  I had worn two through the Black Hawk War.
Over eleven years at war, against the south and then against the Indians, I was tired of death.
And, I was at peace internally.
My closest friends were with me.
I had no idea why I was here.

The sound of gravel underfoot, drew my attention behind me and slightly downhill.

She was dressed in yellow, a shade which complimented the desert grasses, with white trim.
Her yellow hair set a glow about her face.
I am placing this setting to be 1870 as my "mind" is now playing catch-up.
There are other women with her.
I recognized the man: her father and a local elder in our isolated community.
I was completely at home.
It was to be but a simple ceremony.

Mounted on my horse, she was lifted up and seated across a pillow laid on the McClellan saddle.
"John Wesley, where are we headed?"
Her arms were around my neck, her head on my shoulder.
"Well, Elizabeth, my dear, I have a team at the Springs and then the West is in front of us."

The dream became spotty: pieces of the Oregon Trail journey mixed  pieces of forming a new life.  I knew where this would end, because I realized these were my great-great-grandparents.  I had heard of the tragedy of their lives as a child..  But, I am the only one in the family to understood the happiness they had found together ...