Monogamy

Number Two Daughter works in a series of bars, combined which at least give her a full time job.

In town, are all of the same "family" whom gathered back in 2011 and I talked about then.  And like last time, "family" discussions occurred.  Never planned, never appropriate, never to any resolutions because no one actually listens to one another not wants to resolve anything ...

So, we were all gathered at the bar NTD was working at on Sunday night.  I was beyond stressed, every wall I had in place and I still managed five minor heart attacks last week!  I was really at my end, very little stuffings left to knock out of me.

A couple walked it, there were hundreds of couples there but this pair stood out because of the smile on her face, the flash of a diamond in Catholic position upon her finger and the fact that she was wearing a Tibetan traditional wedding dress.  Flowers woven into her hair made me think she had just gotten married that afternoon.  He was a "hipster" and dressed like one with a pastel three piece suit and neatly groomed.  They sat opposite me so I was close enough to let me mind wander to their conversation and still listen in to my table as well.

They talked of visions for life and plans, they laughed and giggled, she obviously was very in love.  He?  Well, he was very oblivious.  I hope he sharpens up quickly, I would hate to think of her joy being terminated by the intrusion of "life".

And I felt the pang of "something" at never having experienced something like this, there being someone to share dreams with and visions of the future.  That feeling of oneness - the future, a pearl for the picking that oneness brings.  Probably my own fault a long ago any ways.

At my table, the Boy From Portland suddenly said, "Yeah, I know, but I honestly do not think that I have any interest in monogamy ever again."  Guess his last divorce came up in conversation.

I gave him a quizzical look because he had brought a nice woman up with him from Portland.  Someone actually out of his league.  Since she has been around in his life for the past year plus, I have to wonder.  If this is his attitude, why should/would she put up with it?  Why would any woman "sell" herself for any reason?

He looked down and mumbled that she supported his desires.

I looked at the Tibetan bride.  How would she react at a choice like this from her man of choice?
I looked back at BFP, why would he not want a real adult relationship?  Was he incapable of it?  Did all of those years of drugs rob him of the whatever needed to develop in his brain?  Makes you wonder.

Is monogamy a product of maturity?

Well, it is "expected" within our culture, as if it is normal.  Certainly not something demonstrated by my father or anyone in the rest of my family during my lifetime!  Yet, I think it is an important aspect of marriage, even in these days of non-marriage aka the "hooking up" culture which will probably destroy our culture in the end.

You can not look at history without noticing that the concept of monogamy came into vogue with the Roman Catholic Church's take over of the world.  I am not saying this is wrong, it agrees with what I personally believe.  Before the RCC, marriage and sex rarely were mentioned in the same sentence.  Sex within marriage was for the production of heirs.  Sex outside of marriage was for "love", lust or just because the guy thought any female was a piece of meat.  The Celtic world and Roman laws really are appalling in this area!  Make no mistake, it is only the last 100 years which have given us a stable family social structure and freedom of any choice for women ...

The Apostle Paul seems to agree with me that there is an importance to monogamy. 1 Timothy 3:2 and 12 bring up the test for leadership in the church: monogamy.

Monogamy; one man - one woman, joined with a common goal, with cultural acceptance, blessed as being one flesh by God.

There is MUCH disagreement with what exactly is being said here and it always breaks down to the writer's bent and at what point does legalism come into play. 

We live in a broken world.  Being ONE FLESH is never understood as being a part of  the corruption of marriage.  Yet it is.  Being married is never understood outside of your role as a couple, yet it is ...

2,000 years ago, Paul wrote that in a sex saturated culture - elders were to be husbands of one wife.  They were not driven by their own lusts or sexual desires, they were married to one woman to demonstrate this, there were no "hook ups" since this would be to become one flesh with more than one at the same time.  The choice was to be married to testify to those in their social circles that they were different.  The man chose to protect innocence, not exploit it, as a witness as well.

And it was one of many things which literally changed the world in the 5th century.

I honestly am sorry for those in this culture not understanding that there is a witness for God to be found in "doing things right", to choose marriage, to choose innocence, to choose even a quiet witness of your faith, of the reality of the truth God long ago defined for us.

To the Tibetan young bride, all my best wishes.
To the BFP, well, I hope you grow up and your current significant others finds out what real love is.