Death of A Role Model

Saturday, as I was finishing lunch, came the call I knew would come one day and have long dreaded.

It was my mining friend's wife, down in Tucson, to tell me he died right after lunch.

I was already reeling from the blow of losing Don on Thursday with no warning.

Dick, well, he had been failing for years.  That is why I went down in February to be with him.  Yeah, he was weak and fragile, but his mind as sharp as ever.  I expected him to make it another ten years.  But, quite without warning, his heart failed walking from the restaurant to the car.  There was no reviving him.  She called me from the parking lot while the paramedics were doing, what ever it is they do, when someone dies.  And she was stuck because he had driven to the place but she does not drive a stick-shift car.  Sigh ...

So, being the "oldest son", I was called upon to called all of their children to tell them the bad news.  Yeah, just lovely.  I whom had to be gifted with becoming fully human in 2014, now get to survive a death so close to my heart ...  There is no way to complete that sentence.

Across a week, in which God managed to finally tell me that I am stupid and gullible, I also lost my rock collecting friend and now the man whom actually showed me what it meant to be a man.  Dick's life was more than just a bit of a disaster.  From a humanistic standpoint, he was a victim of things far beyond of his control.  His children all estranged by the time I met him, I was just this odd computer dork and he a successful mining engineer.  We went down to Nogales in Mexico one day to look at silver and in the process of the morning - friendship happened.  I became family to him and his wife, he closer than my own father.  It had to be a God thing.

At Wisdom's in February

I often talked to him about his relationship with God, but God was someone whom he blamed for much of the misery in his life.  Yeah, the miseries were real but they were caused by Christians whom were not even trying to live up to God's lowest standard!  His worse blow was from his Bible thumping mother - whom threw him out of the family based on rumors while he was at an engineering camp.  He was innocent, years later the guilty party confessed they had done it, but it was to late, the final straw for his mother was not recoverable.  And he never could resolve his issues with her and thus blamed God.  Mostly like, everyone would have in a similar situation.  So, I struck out being able to talk with him about forgiveness and God.  But he was the most God-ly man I have ever known.  A high moral standard and a level of fairness I wished any Christian possessed in their dealings with the world.  In fact you could run down the checklist of what you expect a Christian to be - and he fit all of them, except for his anger at a God his mother represented.  I often commented at Christian gatherings how I knew a man whom you could not show the need of God to nor forgiveness to - because he knew all of the principals, lived them, yet rejected God.  Argh!  And I prayed steadily for the man, for 40 years ... each of his children and wife.

So, this week will be spent preparing to return to Tucson, to help his widow with the affairs of death.  To see whom ever comes to a memorial one last time - I am not even sure most of his children will come - the dysfunction so great amongst them.

And it seems life goes on, whether you are ready for it or not ...

As I looked for a picture of the two of us from last February, I was struck by the difference between us.  In my mind, the man is a giant!  And wise beyond any I knew.  So, I was stunned to see how I towered over him and in girth as well.  I am actually not much over weight, I could stand to lose 20 pounds or exercise more, but Dick appears the wee Scotsman he was.   But, with a heart of solid gold ....

I am simply crushed .....