Every family has a black sheep, I have long been accused of being the one of my mother's family ... only problem is: I am not even close to being the black sheep of the Spencer Clan of the 20th century ...
My mother has an elder brother, someone I only knew as a child, someone I only knew as a victim of his violent rages and drunkenness. Even at my young age, I pitied his children, for he was the most miserable man I have ever encountered in my lifetime. The only thing I can really say positive is that he moved to Alaska leaving the family in his dust for the next 50 years. Out of sight, out of mind ...
But, even in his absence, his damage to the family was so great that he constantly came up in conversation. Always evil - never nice discussions or funny stories. Brutal, unwavering evil. There was nothing else which could be said of him. For my part, I observed and experienced him many times as a child. My grandfather would take me over to see him - however, by the time him and grandfather were smashed - so were my cousins, but from his fists - not alcohol.
I may never forget the image burned in my mind of him beating my cousin Dean because he had gotten the pox and was miserable. Last time I ever saw uncle Raymond was at grandfather's funeral. He showed up drunk, demanding his share of the estate because he was out of beer money and wanted tools to pawn! Well, that one turned ugly fast and the front yard became a battlefield. He got hauled off, certainly not his first, nor last time!
And yet, when I became a Christian, how am I to respond to the existence of this vile man? Of course, forgiveness is called for. But, forgiveness with the knowledge that I should never, ever, see that man ever again! I can forgive what he did to me and those I cared about, but not be dumb enough to ever trust him as family ever.
As the years passed and the internet matured, I thought I would try and find him. Grandmother was aching for her first borne, so I went in search of him. Nothing anywhere under his name, except in the FBI files on his arrests for bank robbery. So, I sat back and thought ... with a little trial and error, I was able to find six aliases he had used through the years. One of them though seemed to be one to have stuck - at the point at which he had become a CHRISTIAN! - through attending Salvation Army Bible studies in Anchorage, Alaska ...
Can a tiger change his stripes?
Can a leopard his spots?
No.
But, God can redirect the path a man is on.
Raymond had become a Christian, and I knew from the various Alaskan police reports and news articles, not much had changed externally in his life - except that he had chosen to invest in some troubled kids lives, for decades!
And so the conflict of my human nature ... Raymond, whom I had hoped to never cross paths ever again with - is now in Heaven, he has come to his rest, he and I will have to resolve some issues it seems when I get my chance to come to my rest.
And yet, my own failures are none the less than Raymond's in God's eyes - and that hurts, that such great evil is the same as me before God ... and I never did anything even close to his scorecard.
July 20, 2015
July 18, 2015
July 17, 2015
PICC
Have you ever heard of a PICC line? I sure never had, but since I was going to be on IV medications for 10 weeks, I "needed" one.
They sent an orderly to fetch me 30 minutes early, which did not please me! I need time to adjust to some of these ideas! Then it turned out that the radiologist, whom would set the device, would be over an hour late. Oh just great! Just what I need, more time to imagine the worse!
But, that might have been a mercy from God. I got to spend time talking with the surgical staff, inspecting a PICC line, learning about how they are installed, etc. Yeah, it appeared to be survivable.
So, plenty of prep time. I was already stretched out on the table swapping jokes with the staff when the radiologist appeared, snip-snip and it was over!
If you are interested, a PICC line is a thin tube which runs through an artery from under my right arm to my heart. An IV attachment on the outside of the body is what goodies are fed through and it does seem to work! It is irritating but better than losing a foot ...
They sent an orderly to fetch me 30 minutes early, which did not please me! I need time to adjust to some of these ideas! Then it turned out that the radiologist, whom would set the device, would be over an hour late. Oh just great! Just what I need, more time to imagine the worse!
But, that might have been a mercy from God. I got to spend time talking with the surgical staff, inspecting a PICC line, learning about how they are installed, etc. Yeah, it appeared to be survivable.
So, plenty of prep time. I was already stretched out on the table swapping jokes with the staff when the radiologist appeared, snip-snip and it was over!
If you are interested, a PICC line is a thin tube which runs through an artery from under my right arm to my heart. An IV attachment on the outside of the body is what goodies are fed through and it does seem to work! It is irritating but better than losing a foot ...
July 16, 2015
Surprise!
Imagine my surprise last Thursday! My day was planned, Swede was on his way down for a visit, I was gently puttering around getting ready ... and I sat down to have a morning cup of tea. As I sat there I smelled something odd, something that triggered a faint memory ...
I worked Rocky Mountain Rescue for many years, so seen it all, done it all (except deliver a baby on a mountainside!) and that was where that memory came from: gangrene.
Now yes, I have a foot in a cast, but it had just been cleaned so what on Earth could be going on?!?!? I removed the cast, opened up all of the gauze packing and it was not pretty but it was not a piece of rotting meat either ..... So I started poking gently around the pin holes and screw holes from the appliance the leg had been in. A black viscous goo started oozing out. Oh #$%!@, goodbye foot!
Swede arrives, I have my foot repacked and we head to the emergency room at the surgical hospital which had done all of the work on the foot. And thus ends my life for a week!
Hospitalized, in an alarmed bed so I can not escape (an earlier post from April I think I told about pulling my IV and walking out, I was having so many problems with the NAZI nursing staff!) and they dumped 28 doses of antibiotics in the first 24 hours! And in a week of this intensive dumping drugs through me, my foot has almost returned to normal in size and appearance! Never thought that would happen! But, also, the staph infection which had taken hold in my foot was throughout my body ... sigh ... So 10 more weeks of IV antibiotics.
Yup, God keeps pointing me to the end of September before any possibility of my life returning to normal could happen. Sigh ...
And I am less and less impressed with Him not being done with me yet ... Life can be mighty challenging when faced with 110% negative and little hope it will change, ever.
So lots of prayer needed - still trying to keep my leg, trying to kill the staph infection raging throughout my body - and then - there is all of the regular stuff. Man, my life is a mess!
I worked Rocky Mountain Rescue for many years, so seen it all, done it all (except deliver a baby on a mountainside!) and that was where that memory came from: gangrene.
Now yes, I have a foot in a cast, but it had just been cleaned so what on Earth could be going on?!?!? I removed the cast, opened up all of the gauze packing and it was not pretty but it was not a piece of rotting meat either ..... So I started poking gently around the pin holes and screw holes from the appliance the leg had been in. A black viscous goo started oozing out. Oh #$%!@, goodbye foot!
Swede arrives, I have my foot repacked and we head to the emergency room at the surgical hospital which had done all of the work on the foot. And thus ends my life for a week!
Hospitalized, in an alarmed bed so I can not escape (an earlier post from April I think I told about pulling my IV and walking out, I was having so many problems with the NAZI nursing staff!) and they dumped 28 doses of antibiotics in the first 24 hours! And in a week of this intensive dumping drugs through me, my foot has almost returned to normal in size and appearance! Never thought that would happen! But, also, the staph infection which had taken hold in my foot was throughout my body ... sigh ... So 10 more weeks of IV antibiotics.
Yup, God keeps pointing me to the end of September before any possibility of my life returning to normal could happen. Sigh ...
And I am less and less impressed with Him not being done with me yet ... Life can be mighty challenging when faced with 110% negative and little hope it will change, ever.
So lots of prayer needed - still trying to keep my leg, trying to kill the staph infection raging throughout my body - and then - there is all of the regular stuff. Man, my life is a mess!
July 11, 2015
July 10, 2015
The Reunion
So, how did the reunion go? Well ...
I think this is the first time they have all been together since 1978, so the first few days were a novelty and they did pretty well. But, when you have a room full of Irishmen, whom know it all - and you don't, well it is is going to get to be tedious rather quickly. Add one more day and fist fights would have broken out!
They all banded together and went off doing tourist stuff around Washington State:
The opinion expressing, narcissim and ego got so bad that by Sunday, this exchange occurred:
K: minding own business
Aus: Kris, you're an idiot.
K: Uhm, because I believe in primary research, not vetted opinion?
Aus: Clears throat and hacks it at me, You have bought into the conspiracy of lies.
Ore Boy: What do you think the lies are?
K: Have you ever talked with a metallurgist or done any primary research on this?
Aus: I don't need to, I am a scientist at the top of my field! (loads of sarcasm)
K: Then all you have done is listen to other people's opinions, whom did no research either!
... and Ore Boy and Aus were off at it, for the next half hour! Stupid people hold no interest for me.
Today, Monday, the entire batch of them are in Oregon. They wanted me to come ... but you know, I would rather be hungry, hopping around the homestead than put up with much more of this Irish foolishness.
It does amaze me how narcissism works ... to flatter yourself into believing that you are the sharpest knife in box ... and well you are not even close. Make no mistake, Aus, is brilliant - just not in reality. And with four of the sharpest knives in the box, all together at once - I kept my fingers out of the drawer! LOL!
I opened my eMail this morning and there was this piece from Dutchman roaring over some slight, because some town council is not listening to him and he is trying to rally the local Mensa types to back him up. I just quietly clicked delete ... no more, please, no more .....
I vote no more of these people ever again in my life ....
Life is too short to waste on the foolishness of conceit.
I think this is the first time they have all been together since 1978, so the first few days were a novelty and they did pretty well. But, when you have a room full of Irishmen, whom know it all - and you don't, well it is is going to get to be tedious rather quickly. Add one more day and fist fights would have broken out!
They all banded together and went off doing tourist stuff around Washington State:
- Ride the ferries
- See Deception Pass
- Visit some WWI gun emplacements in the San Juan Islands
- Pike Place Market
- A few museums
- Ride the Ducks!
- And lots of meals out :)
The opinion expressing, narcissim and ego got so bad that by Sunday, this exchange occurred:
K: minding own business
Aus: Kris, you're an idiot.
K: Uhm, because I believe in primary research, not vetted opinion?
Aus: Clears throat and hacks it at me, You have bought into the conspiracy of lies.
Ore Boy: What do you think the lies are?
K: Have you ever talked with a metallurgist or done any primary research on this?
Aus: I don't need to, I am a scientist at the top of my field! (loads of sarcasm)
K: Then all you have done is listen to other people's opinions, whom did no research either!
... and Ore Boy and Aus were off at it, for the next half hour! Stupid people hold no interest for me.
Today, Monday, the entire batch of them are in Oregon. They wanted me to come ... but you know, I would rather be hungry, hopping around the homestead than put up with much more of this Irish foolishness.
It does amaze me how narcissism works ... to flatter yourself into believing that you are the sharpest knife in box ... and well you are not even close. Make no mistake, Aus, is brilliant - just not in reality. And with four of the sharpest knives in the box, all together at once - I kept my fingers out of the drawer! LOL!
I opened my eMail this morning and there was this piece from Dutchman roaring over some slight, because some town council is not listening to him and he is trying to rally the local Mensa types to back him up. I just quietly clicked delete ... no more, please, no more .....
I vote no more of these people ever again in my life ....
Life is too short to waste on the foolishness of conceit.
July 9, 2015
A Sad Day Remembered
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the execution of my cousin Bernard and the only other male in the line. Sniff - Sniff - Sniff ...
Twenty years later and the UN still can not condemn the Serb actions that day.
Twenty years later and The Hague still can not condemn Slobodan Milosevic for crimes against humanity.
As I have often offered - I am more than willing to end this blight on the face of humanity's lifeline. Just give me opportunity ... :( I would even do the mass murderer Mladic!
But, it seems that justice never will be found on this earth for these mass murderers. The old Yugoslavia was their killing field - my cousin, a Swiss Medic, their victim. It is amazing as I read the news this morning in Europe - there is no mention of the Swiss Medic Team. No mention at the involvement of US, British and French troops. Nope just Serbs killing Muslims in Bosnia. Thats the story line even in the Swiss news services.
Sigh ...
If you can not remember your past, well I suspect you think yourself from problems in you present and future!
If you can prayer for his Aunts on this day.
Twenty years later and the UN still can not condemn the Serb actions that day.
Twenty years later and The Hague still can not condemn Slobodan Milosevic for crimes against humanity.
As I have often offered - I am more than willing to end this blight on the face of humanity's lifeline. Just give me opportunity ... :( I would even do the mass murderer Mladic!
But, it seems that justice never will be found on this earth for these mass murderers. The old Yugoslavia was their killing field - my cousin, a Swiss Medic, their victim. It is amazing as I read the news this morning in Europe - there is no mention of the Swiss Medic Team. No mention at the involvement of US, British and French troops. Nope just Serbs killing Muslims in Bosnia. Thats the story line even in the Swiss news services.
Sigh ...
If you can not remember your past, well I suspect you think yourself from problems in you present and future!
If you can prayer for his Aunts on this day.
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