I remember my father was driving my sister and I to the roller-rink on NATO's air force base at Ramstein and this song came on. My father angrily flicked the radio off, commenting whomever that guy was he had no right to pretend he could sing. Given that Sonny Bono was having hit after hit, with no voice at all to speak of, it seemed to me that Herb Albert had a right to try his hand at a song ...
And, yeah, Herb does not have much of a voice, but you know - I liked this song back then and I still do. Just the concept that one day, THIS guy, could one day feel - much less know love - if even for just a moment in time ... It was unimaginable to that seventh grader - to feel - what would that be like? To know love, how is that different than feeling? Unanswerable questions.
And as if in a fairytale, one day - in the eventuality of time, in the twinkling of an eye, it did happen. God did something so astonishing, literally a miracle, the first in a string of many, He gave feeling to someone so dead their DNA had to be changed just to know emotion. And then one day, this guy is to be very blessed.
August 30, 2014
August 23, 2014
August 21, 2014
On Vacation
So, today I am traveling back to Denver.
Where my life in America began.
Where my past resides.
Where a hint to the mystery of my future lay.
A time to visit old friends.
A time to visit aging family.
A time to honor my father's memory, such as it is.
A first step towards a new life.
And I know no answers.
I only know to go.
To wait.
To see.
Mystery lie ahead.
And I travel only on faith.
That what lay ahead, is best.
And, yes, I fear.
We will see if I am back in September.
If I even have a computer any longer ...
Where my life in America began.
Where my past resides.
Where a hint to the mystery of my future lay.
A time to visit old friends.
A time to visit aging family.
A time to honor my father's memory, such as it is.
A first step towards a new life.
And I know no answers.
I only know to go.
To wait.
To see.
Mystery lie ahead.
And I travel only on faith.
That what lay ahead, is best.
And, yes, I fear.
We will see if I am back in September.
If I even have a computer any longer ...
August 20, 2014
Plumbing
I hate home repairs, especially when they are not even to my home! But, it seems if anything goes wrong around here, it is my responsibility in the end.
Several years ago this house suffered a major plumbing failure and with a little ingenuity I was able to patch it to last until the day when there was money to effect an actual repair. Unfortunately, that money was never to appear and now the drain system for the house has really failed. Sigh.
So, for the rest of the day (I am typing this) I will be off cleaning out the basement so that the pipes can even be reached and replaced tomorrow. (Going to be a mighty busy thursday that is for sure!)
I hope that the plumbers can get it done quickly as I have a plane to catch!
Well off to the dungeon to move boxes. Sigh ...
Several years ago this house suffered a major plumbing failure and with a little ingenuity I was able to patch it to last until the day when there was money to effect an actual repair. Unfortunately, that money was never to appear and now the drain system for the house has really failed. Sigh.
So, for the rest of the day (I am typing this) I will be off cleaning out the basement so that the pipes can even be reached and replaced tomorrow. (Going to be a mighty busy thursday that is for sure!)
I hope that the plumbers can get it done quickly as I have a plane to catch!
Well off to the dungeon to move boxes. Sigh ...
August 19, 2014
Death of a Neighbor
Well, this is old news if you live in my neighborhood, but it has taken me a little over a week to work through this in my mind.
This Ty, lives on the next block from me, we have never interacted what-so-ever. I think he work as an electrician, a profession around here when has not exactly been steady employment for anyone! So, many of my local friends were electricians, now antique dealers, dry wall installers, etc. Yeah, not a great deal of demand in this robust economy we keep being told we are a part of. But, I digress...
He was not the sharpest person you would ever know. Kept most to himself, as do most in this neighborhood, it is quiet, nothing really ever happens around here.
So, I am coming back home late Saturday night from a free dinner at Ray's Boathouse in north Seattle, and it was awesome! But, I could not get home. Why? Well, it seems that Ty had a fight again with his girlfriend and she accused him of slapping her. So she dials 911 and a police officer is dispatched. Ty tells the officer to get out of his face and pulls a gun. The cop retreats and reports in.
Then an estimated 30 (!) sheriffs deputies descend upon my neighborhood, as well as a SWAT team, and close it down all of the streets for our safety. Oh please spare me the politically correct over reaction here!
So, I am stuck on the road, about four houses down from the action and so close to my turn to my house I was tempted to drive on the sidewalk! And nothing to do but sit and watch.
Ty is now rip roaring drunk and the police are trying to talk with a drunk to no avail. Duh. So they lop some tear gas grenades through the windows and he refuses to come out. Instead, starts shooting through the door. The police report he was shooting at them, but in reality his eyes would have been so swollen and the gas so thick that he would not have seen the policemen, much less their cars to aim at. But, never the less, a sniper fired from across the street and killed him with a roof top shot. At the 100 feet for this shot, he could have blown the arm off the Ty's body just as easily and just as effectively ended the situation. You have to remember, I have had to make the same decisions as well as since I was a sniper. And I am proud to say, I never killed anyone, to my knowledge. Crippled, yes, killed, no.
And I have sat here now for days digesting this.
Yes, Ty should not have hit his girlfriend, if he actually did or not, we will never know. It will be assault whether she lied or not, and it seems this is something bandied about quite a bit as a false charge per my Seattle Police friends.
Ty should not have lipped off to the responding police officer. We have excellent police here and I have real respect for them. Domestic disturbance calls are the worse per my police friends because they can only go one of two ways and nasty seems to be the way they generally go.
Ty should not have pulled a gun on a police officer. Really? What was he thinking?
And the police should not have escalated the situation to the point of having to kill him.
It would have been easier to just let him sober up. Sure watch the front and back so he can not escape but really, you have to kill him?
Well, be that it may. It is with a collective sigh that we had to live through this and find ways of dealing with this in our daily lives.
I see two major problems here:
Without God there is no hope. With God, Ty could have understood that he had screwed up and been willing to surrender. With God, the police would have attempted to protect his life and not just their own, knowing that Ty's future did not have to be hopeless.
Same is true for your community as well. God is the answer to all of the problems which present themselves. Sure you might not like the answers sometimes but God's way is the better way and only death awaits those whom will not choose His way.
He was not the sharpest person you would ever know. Kept most to himself, as do most in this neighborhood, it is quiet, nothing really ever happens around here.
So, I am coming back home late Saturday night from a free dinner at Ray's Boathouse in north Seattle, and it was awesome! But, I could not get home. Why? Well, it seems that Ty had a fight again with his girlfriend and she accused him of slapping her. So she dials 911 and a police officer is dispatched. Ty tells the officer to get out of his face and pulls a gun. The cop retreats and reports in.
Then an estimated 30 (!) sheriffs deputies descend upon my neighborhood, as well as a SWAT team, and close it down all of the streets for our safety. Oh please spare me the politically correct over reaction here!
So, I am stuck on the road, about four houses down from the action and so close to my turn to my house I was tempted to drive on the sidewalk! And nothing to do but sit and watch.
Ty is now rip roaring drunk and the police are trying to talk with a drunk to no avail. Duh. So they lop some tear gas grenades through the windows and he refuses to come out. Instead, starts shooting through the door. The police report he was shooting at them, but in reality his eyes would have been so swollen and the gas so thick that he would not have seen the policemen, much less their cars to aim at. But, never the less, a sniper fired from across the street and killed him with a roof top shot. At the 100 feet for this shot, he could have blown the arm off the Ty's body just as easily and just as effectively ended the situation. You have to remember, I have had to make the same decisions as well as since I was a sniper. And I am proud to say, I never killed anyone, to my knowledge. Crippled, yes, killed, no.
And I have sat here now for days digesting this.
Yes, Ty should not have hit his girlfriend, if he actually did or not, we will never know. It will be assault whether she lied or not, and it seems this is something bandied about quite a bit as a false charge per my Seattle Police friends.
Ty should not have lipped off to the responding police officer. We have excellent police here and I have real respect for them. Domestic disturbance calls are the worse per my police friends because they can only go one of two ways and nasty seems to be the way they generally go.
Ty should not have pulled a gun on a police officer. Really? What was he thinking?
And the police should not have escalated the situation to the point of having to kill him.
It would have been easier to just let him sober up. Sure watch the front and back so he can not escape but really, you have to kill him?
Well, be that it may. It is with a collective sigh that we had to live through this and find ways of dealing with this in our daily lives.
I see two major problems here:
- Lack of respect for authority
- Lack of respect for human life
- Ty refused to respect his girlfriend
- Ty refused to respect the police
- Ty refused to respect his neighbors
- Ty held no life, including his own, with any respect
- The police escalated the situation until it was out of control
- The police presented a threat rather than a solution
- The police sniper did what he was trained to do, without consideration
- The police gave a trapped man no alternative
Without God there is no hope. With God, Ty could have understood that he had screwed up and been willing to surrender. With God, the police would have attempted to protect his life and not just their own, knowing that Ty's future did not have to be hopeless.
Same is true for your community as well. God is the answer to all of the problems which present themselves. Sure you might not like the answers sometimes but God's way is the better way and only death awaits those whom will not choose His way.
August 18, 2014
What Really Matters
I have a lifetime accumulation of "stuff". Much that I have acquired through the years with the thought that collectables would have some value as I approached retirement. Of course the robust world's economy has proven that idea was not the best one.
Swedish Rocket Scientist decided that South African Gold Stocks were the way to go. Yeah they all went bankrupt. His aunt, whom died last year, turns out to have invested heavily Israeli munitions and arms stocks. Yeah, that portfolio has left SRS more money than he ever will be able to spend in his lifetime!
Dutchman, well he went whole hog into something like Amway and for all of his efforts he ended up with troubles. Now he is into real estate, although his Mexican holdings seem to have lost about 90% of value! And his current holdings are about breaking even. Who knows where it will go?
I used my retirement savings to adopt four children 17 years ago. Everyone told me this was madness and that I would regret liquidating all for the sake of orphans. No, never have, they bring me joy, even in their trials because I know God called them out of Russia for a reason. One day we will all understand the answer to that and it will be to His good.
And now I stand in indecision as far as what to do. I am presented with the perplexing. Do I walk away from all, with only memories and a few mementos of a lifetime? Or do I put all in storage against a future day when I may have cause to sell all or use it again?
Decisions, decisions!
But, whatever comes I now know that all is over for me, there is no longer any future on this path for me. In fact the path may have disappeared right out from under me and now God is squeezing me like a zit into the unknown ...
Swedish Rocket Scientist decided that South African Gold Stocks were the way to go. Yeah they all went bankrupt. His aunt, whom died last year, turns out to have invested heavily Israeli munitions and arms stocks. Yeah, that portfolio has left SRS more money than he ever will be able to spend in his lifetime!
Dutchman, well he went whole hog into something like Amway and for all of his efforts he ended up with troubles. Now he is into real estate, although his Mexican holdings seem to have lost about 90% of value! And his current holdings are about breaking even. Who knows where it will go?
I used my retirement savings to adopt four children 17 years ago. Everyone told me this was madness and that I would regret liquidating all for the sake of orphans. No, never have, they bring me joy, even in their trials because I know God called them out of Russia for a reason. One day we will all understand the answer to that and it will be to His good.
And now I stand in indecision as far as what to do. I am presented with the perplexing. Do I walk away from all, with only memories and a few mementos of a lifetime? Or do I put all in storage against a future day when I may have cause to sell all or use it again?
Decisions, decisions!
But, whatever comes I now know that all is over for me, there is no longer any future on this path for me. In fact the path may have disappeared right out from under me and now God is squeezing me like a zit into the unknown ...
August 16, 2014
August 15, 2014
If You Will
Mark 1:40 - 45
From this passage comes one of my favorite quotations, "If you will, you can make me clean ... "
Leprosy is a skin, bone and joint disease. If you had this you were an outcast from society and it was believed that this was a judgment from God due to your sin. God is punishing you. You are going to lose your identity, your community, family, everything!
Can You Care Enough To Feel Compassion?
God came to be the father to the father-less.
Jesus confronted with a leper, is moved to act.
Are You Convinced Enough To Ask?
Twice in the Old Testament, God had healed leprosy.
This leper saw that Jesus could heal.
He KNEW Jesus could heal him!
Will You Stretch Yourself Enough To Touch?
Jesus touched the leper.
He did not have to.
But, he was proving that God is not unclean!
And the leper was healed, cleansed, now ceremonially clean!
Are you even aware of the needs of those around you?
Who are the untouchables in your life?
Will You Be Bold Enough To Tell Others?
The leper witnessed to all whom would listen!
Jesus was not looking for followers based upon miracles.
Even though miracles, in this case healing, is a sign of God - it is the cross and resurrection which are the point!
Touch someone this week ....
Jesus, did and so can you.
From this passage comes one of my favorite quotations, "If you will, you can make me clean ... "
Leprosy is a skin, bone and joint disease. If you had this you were an outcast from society and it was believed that this was a judgment from God due to your sin. God is punishing you. You are going to lose your identity, your community, family, everything!
Can You Care Enough To Feel Compassion?
God came to be the father to the father-less.
Jesus confronted with a leper, is moved to act.
Are You Convinced Enough To Ask?
Twice in the Old Testament, God had healed leprosy.
This leper saw that Jesus could heal.
He KNEW Jesus could heal him!
Will You Stretch Yourself Enough To Touch?
Jesus touched the leper.
He did not have to.
But, he was proving that God is not unclean!
And the leper was healed, cleansed, now ceremonially clean!
Are you even aware of the needs of those around you?
Who are the untouchables in your life?
Will You Be Bold Enough To Tell Others?
The leper witnessed to all whom would listen!
Jesus was not looking for followers based upon miracles.
Even though miracles, in this case healing, is a sign of God - it is the cross and resurrection which are the point!
Touch someone this week ....
Jesus, did and so can you.
August 14, 2014
Heart of Hardness
Something I had always wondered at is the bit about God hardening Pharaoh's heart in Exodus 9:12, and again when Pharaoh chose to pursue the fleeing Israelites. What does this mean? How can someone's heart be hardened?
"Hardness of heart is a figurative expression, denoting that insensibility of mind upon which neither judgments nor mercies make any abiding impressions; but the conscience being stupefied, the obdurate rebel persists in determined disobedience."
Uhm, I think this dictionary quote means you are going to do, what you are going to do and neither logic nor reality is going to change your mind.
I saw this once, many years ago when I was in college. My favorite uncle worked for United Airlines as a mechanic and he was laid off. And being an aircraft and powerplant mechanic meant there was nothing to do job wise because it is a fairly small field of opportunity. He did auto repairs, did work for many different shops doing their machining for them but he could not make ends meet. So he went to have a talk with his wife.
I came over a few days later and he was standing there in the shop drilling holes in a piece of bar stock and I asked him what was up. And he told about how they were broke and he could not generate enough money to pay for their mortgage, and the talk he had with his wife. Seems he had asked her to take a part time job, just for a few months to get them past the problem. But, her reactions was, "Well, you are the man, it is your responsibility to earn enough to pay for what we have ... "
And something in my uncle snapped and he stopped, just standing there, staring out the window back towards his house, "Why would she be so unwilling to help us meet expenses ... " I quiet left to ponder this myself. Certainly she had worked in the past, before they had children she had been an executive secretary, back when that meant something dollar-wise. Why would she say something like that?
Across the next five years I watched my uncle's heart harden towards her, to the point that live or die, she no longer meant anything to him - she was a stranger, just a roommate whom he supported. And he watched as she turned both of their children against him. By the time of the divorce, she was stunned he could be so vain as to believe he could make a decision without her permission. And he just wanted his tools and to have nothing to ever do with her again. Obviously, the problem occurred long before the question of her ever working.
Pharaoh, my favorite uncle and an aunt whom I loved very much, all shared the same problem: hardness of heart. So, now I could understand this reference from the Bible. I had observed its birth in two of my favorite people.
So, 2009 came into my life and with it the dysfunction which stole Gaelic Girl from my life. She went crazy, everyone whom observed her could verify that and I tried to help, but it was not help she wanted. By 2012, live or die, Gaelic Girl no longer mattered in my life. I still tried to help her but there was just no way to because I had died long ago in her mind.
And Monday night she attacked yet again. The reason is really unimportant, this happens so often and I generally end up sucking on Nitro pills or in ER for days as they try to stabilize my heart again. So I am expecting to end up back in ER within hours or days if I can not do something to control my stress levels and heart quickly (prayer item here guys!). And I got to thinking about Pharaoh this morning.
GG's attack was really much in line with my aunt's on my uncle, a massive display of ego and vanity declaring the other incapable of choice or decision without them. And Pharaoh considered his step-brother, Moses, demented to have listened to another god than Egypt's.
Hardness of heart towards your fellow man is to lift yourself above them and to "know" what is right or wrong for them, independent of them. They have no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right. And I thought on this.
Hardness of heart towards God, is to lift yourself above your Creator and to "know" right from wrong independent of Him or His input on any matter. God has no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right, you have no actual need for Him.
This morning, I can understand this concept for the first time. And now I understand that what came between GG and I, came long before 2009. What came first was a hardening of her heart towards God, then in her relationships with others, eventually even me. Oh sure she still blames me for everything going haywire in our relationship, but it does not matter. I can clearly see for the first time in a long time this morning ... If only had most of my blog prior to 2009, I might have a better clue as to what happened in her life.
Pharaoh, my uncle, my aunt, GG and probably many others in my life, hardened their hearts towards those whom had been close in their lives, but first they cut God out of the picture. Certainly, standing there in his metal shop, my uncle had walked away from God, not actually to return even 30+ years later.
Seeing this, I can understand in my own life how circumstance in our lives can effect our relationship with God. I really do not want to ever find that in my heart I have hardened it towards anyone. Even in Monday's three hour attack by GG, all I could really feel was sorry for her. If only she could listen to her words and see that everything she was saying was true about her and not me, but she will never listen to me ever again, she stopped that a decade ago but whom could have thought it important at the time?
And my challenge, I now understand, is to rectify my relationship towards God, for I believe it has taken a beating across this past year ...
"Hardness of heart is a figurative expression, denoting that insensibility of mind upon which neither judgments nor mercies make any abiding impressions; but the conscience being stupefied, the obdurate rebel persists in determined disobedience."
Uhm, I think this dictionary quote means you are going to do, what you are going to do and neither logic nor reality is going to change your mind.
I saw this once, many years ago when I was in college. My favorite uncle worked for United Airlines as a mechanic and he was laid off. And being an aircraft and powerplant mechanic meant there was nothing to do job wise because it is a fairly small field of opportunity. He did auto repairs, did work for many different shops doing their machining for them but he could not make ends meet. So he went to have a talk with his wife.
I came over a few days later and he was standing there in the shop drilling holes in a piece of bar stock and I asked him what was up. And he told about how they were broke and he could not generate enough money to pay for their mortgage, and the talk he had with his wife. Seems he had asked her to take a part time job, just for a few months to get them past the problem. But, her reactions was, "Well, you are the man, it is your responsibility to earn enough to pay for what we have ... "
And something in my uncle snapped and he stopped, just standing there, staring out the window back towards his house, "Why would she be so unwilling to help us meet expenses ... " I quiet left to ponder this myself. Certainly she had worked in the past, before they had children she had been an executive secretary, back when that meant something dollar-wise. Why would she say something like that?
Across the next five years I watched my uncle's heart harden towards her, to the point that live or die, she no longer meant anything to him - she was a stranger, just a roommate whom he supported. And he watched as she turned both of their children against him. By the time of the divorce, she was stunned he could be so vain as to believe he could make a decision without her permission. And he just wanted his tools and to have nothing to ever do with her again. Obviously, the problem occurred long before the question of her ever working.
Pharaoh, my favorite uncle and an aunt whom I loved very much, all shared the same problem: hardness of heart. So, now I could understand this reference from the Bible. I had observed its birth in two of my favorite people.
So, 2009 came into my life and with it the dysfunction which stole Gaelic Girl from my life. She went crazy, everyone whom observed her could verify that and I tried to help, but it was not help she wanted. By 2012, live or die, Gaelic Girl no longer mattered in my life. I still tried to help her but there was just no way to because I had died long ago in her mind.
And Monday night she attacked yet again. The reason is really unimportant, this happens so often and I generally end up sucking on Nitro pills or in ER for days as they try to stabilize my heart again. So I am expecting to end up back in ER within hours or days if I can not do something to control my stress levels and heart quickly (prayer item here guys!). And I got to thinking about Pharaoh this morning.
GG's attack was really much in line with my aunt's on my uncle, a massive display of ego and vanity declaring the other incapable of choice or decision without them. And Pharaoh considered his step-brother, Moses, demented to have listened to another god than Egypt's.
Hardness of heart towards your fellow man is to lift yourself above them and to "know" what is right or wrong for them, independent of them. They have no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right. And I thought on this.
Hardness of heart towards God, is to lift yourself above your Creator and to "know" right from wrong independent of Him or His input on any matter. God has no validity, only your opinion matters, you are always right, you have no actual need for Him.
This morning, I can understand this concept for the first time. And now I understand that what came between GG and I, came long before 2009. What came first was a hardening of her heart towards God, then in her relationships with others, eventually even me. Oh sure she still blames me for everything going haywire in our relationship, but it does not matter. I can clearly see for the first time in a long time this morning ... If only had most of my blog prior to 2009, I might have a better clue as to what happened in her life.
Pharaoh, my uncle, my aunt, GG and probably many others in my life, hardened their hearts towards those whom had been close in their lives, but first they cut God out of the picture. Certainly, standing there in his metal shop, my uncle had walked away from God, not actually to return even 30+ years later.
Seeing this, I can understand in my own life how circumstance in our lives can effect our relationship with God. I really do not want to ever find that in my heart I have hardened it towards anyone. Even in Monday's three hour attack by GG, all I could really feel was sorry for her. If only she could listen to her words and see that everything she was saying was true about her and not me, but she will never listen to me ever again, she stopped that a decade ago but whom could have thought it important at the time?
And my challenge, I now understand, is to rectify my relationship towards God, for I believe it has taken a beating across this past year ...
August 13, 2014
Obstacles and Opportunities
One of the stock childhood Sunday School stories: the lowering of the paraplegic through the roof of the house Jesus is in.
Mark 2:1 - 5 & verse 12
Work Together
What are you willing to do to bring those you know to salvation?
Consider the men, family, friends, whomever, who brought a paralyzed man to Jesus for healing. The dug through a packed dirt roof, removed the supports below the dirt, to make a hole large enough for this man to be lowered through.
It took some effort! And I am sure that this type of activity would have been frowned upon by the responsible members of the community. And yet, without this action, this man would not have found freedom from his condition physically, but spiritually as well.
You have to be able to be friendly towards those whom need help.
You have to be willing to be inconvenienced.
Your local Church's outreach is one such way to get involved:
Your goal as a Christian is to BRING as many as you can to Jesus! Not lead a happy content life ...
2. Obstacles Are Only Challenges
A challenge does not necessarily stop us, but causes us to think of ways around whatever the issue is.
In this case, someone needed to be presented to Jesus and the roof was the only route! So, goodbye roof!
These, probably four or more, made themselves servants for Jesus in order to be able to bring this man to Him. In like manner we are all to be servants to both Jesus and our fellow man. Yet in our culture we serve ourselves not others.
Find the freedom to allow Jesus to work through you!
Find the opportunity to allow Jesus to work!
3. Let Jesus Give More Than Is Asked For
The man's desire, maybe only his friend's desires, was that he be healed physically.
But, to Jesus, whether the man was paralyzed or not, had nothing to do with the man's real need. He needed forgiveness.
And Jesus addressed that man's real need and forgave him his sin.
Then Mark 2:12, the man arose ... and walked out ...
Mark 2:1 - 5 & verse 12
Work Together
What are you willing to do to bring those you know to salvation?
Consider the men, family, friends, whomever, who brought a paralyzed man to Jesus for healing. The dug through a packed dirt roof, removed the supports below the dirt, to make a hole large enough for this man to be lowered through.
It took some effort! And I am sure that this type of activity would have been frowned upon by the responsible members of the community. And yet, without this action, this man would not have found freedom from his condition physically, but spiritually as well.
You have to be able to be friendly towards those whom need help.
You have to be willing to be inconvenienced.
Your local Church's outreach is one such way to get involved:
- Youth Ministry
- Prison Ministry
- Volunteer for/at the Church
- Active in sports
- Missions, long or short
- Seniors Ministries
- Scouting
- Boys/Girls Clubs
Your goal as a Christian is to BRING as many as you can to Jesus! Not lead a happy content life ...
2. Obstacles Are Only Challenges
A challenge does not necessarily stop us, but causes us to think of ways around whatever the issue is.
In this case, someone needed to be presented to Jesus and the roof was the only route! So, goodbye roof!
These, probably four or more, made themselves servants for Jesus in order to be able to bring this man to Him. In like manner we are all to be servants to both Jesus and our fellow man. Yet in our culture we serve ourselves not others.
Find the freedom to allow Jesus to work through you!
Find the opportunity to allow Jesus to work!
3. Let Jesus Give More Than Is Asked For
The man's desire, maybe only his friend's desires, was that he be healed physically.
But, to Jesus, whether the man was paralyzed or not, had nothing to do with the man's real need. He needed forgiveness.
And Jesus addressed that man's real need and forgave him his sin.
Then Mark 2:12, the man arose ... and walked out ...
August 12, 2014
Biggest Loser
I guess there is some TV show call Biggest Loser. Since I do not watch TV, I can just go on what I hear here.
So some show dedicated the concept of fat people loosing weight. Whatever. My cousin actually got involved somehow with the contest last year and won enough money to buy herself a VW bug, the new one. Personally, could not care less, except for the fact that I do like her and at 320 pounds I flat told her she was not going to live long. So, I am glad she dropped most of the weight.
Her husband, joined in once he saw what was possible and dropped from 480 down to about 270 and still working on loosing more. I know that is hard and I am very proud of him as well.
But, neither my cousin nor her husband are the Biggest Loser! No, that distinction belongs to one of their friends ...
We will call him Dinglefitz (from the Old English, just a hint). Know nothing about him, never even heard of him mentioned by my cousin, but apparently since I am on her friend list on Facebook, and she killed off all of her non-supportive friends on there, he felt safe enough to send me a message. And oh how inappropriate a message it was!
So imagine you get a Facebook message and it basically starts with unclad obese women photos, and svelte as well. Turns out the text talks about how his wife used to be fat and now she is not. But, she is taking a lot of heat from her old friends because she lost the weight and is having problems accepting herself now. Would I please drop her a note and tell her about how awesome she looks today.
REALLY?
She is married to a poc like that? OMG! I would divorce that jerk so fast he would not know what hit him! Aside from just the violation of sending photos of his wife like that around the internet, to completely strange men, he wants them to send comments to her about her looks? How stupid can any one man get? Oh yeah and be sure to include information on her name and where she lives as well. Not like any serial rapists might be on the internet after all!
He truly is the biggest loser ... or perhaps it is his wife whom is married to someone truly dumber than that stump ... to quote my great uncle ...
Gees, so guess whom I blocked on Facebook Sunday morning!
So some show dedicated the concept of fat people loosing weight. Whatever. My cousin actually got involved somehow with the contest last year and won enough money to buy herself a VW bug, the new one. Personally, could not care less, except for the fact that I do like her and at 320 pounds I flat told her she was not going to live long. So, I am glad she dropped most of the weight.
Her husband, joined in once he saw what was possible and dropped from 480 down to about 270 and still working on loosing more. I know that is hard and I am very proud of him as well.
But, neither my cousin nor her husband are the Biggest Loser! No, that distinction belongs to one of their friends ...
We will call him Dinglefitz (from the Old English, just a hint). Know nothing about him, never even heard of him mentioned by my cousin, but apparently since I am on her friend list on Facebook, and she killed off all of her non-supportive friends on there, he felt safe enough to send me a message. And oh how inappropriate a message it was!
So imagine you get a Facebook message and it basically starts with unclad obese women photos, and svelte as well. Turns out the text talks about how his wife used to be fat and now she is not. But, she is taking a lot of heat from her old friends because she lost the weight and is having problems accepting herself now. Would I please drop her a note and tell her about how awesome she looks today.
REALLY?
She is married to a poc like that? OMG! I would divorce that jerk so fast he would not know what hit him! Aside from just the violation of sending photos of his wife like that around the internet, to completely strange men, he wants them to send comments to her about her looks? How stupid can any one man get? Oh yeah and be sure to include information on her name and where she lives as well. Not like any serial rapists might be on the internet after all!
He truly is the biggest loser ... or perhaps it is his wife whom is married to someone truly dumber than that stump ... to quote my great uncle ...
Gees, so guess whom I blocked on Facebook Sunday morning!
August 11, 2014
Fatality Accident
I was headed up to North Seattle to dine with my friend. It had been a good day. Lazy, catching up on small things I needed to do and then a free dinner invite with my friend, gratis a swanky restaurant. Afterwards, I was invited to a reception at the Seattle Art Museum. Sounded like the perfect ending to a perfect day.
But, as "luck" would have it ....
I was just a bit south of the sports arenas when a motorcycle coming towards me on a divided piece of highway, collided with a city bus, traveling in the same direction. Of course, the bus won that contest. The passenger, well was flattened by the bus, instant fatality. The driver of the motocycle went into the dividing barrier wall right in front of me. Yeah, another fatality. The human body was not meant to come apart.
I have seen a great deal of death in my life, the worst was an airliner that went down by one of our family friends homes and we were on the way to his house when the plane passed overhead and flattened a hotel when I was seven. Yup, an awful lot of bodies and I had no reaction. Being born with no emotions probably saved me a lifetime of therapy. And feeling nothing, I joined my father in helping the medics pick up body parts to put in the boxes.
But this one was different. I have emotions now, I can feel! And the horror of this brought me to tears. I just sat with my car in park, and cried. No one honked their horns or yelled, everyone was in shock. After a few moments, I was able to recover enough to continue my trip - meditating on the apparent randomness of life.
I would guess that the driver of the motorcycle was about my age. Probably the last thing he thought of that morning was that this was a beautiful sunny day to die on, in a horrible manner. I felt sorry for the bus driver. He really had done nothing wrong. Just a horrible "accident", but there really are no accidents, just your number coming up and where and how, well that is the randomness to the equation.
But, as "luck" would have it ....
I was just a bit south of the sports arenas when a motorcycle coming towards me on a divided piece of highway, collided with a city bus, traveling in the same direction. Of course, the bus won that contest. The passenger, well was flattened by the bus, instant fatality. The driver of the motocycle went into the dividing barrier wall right in front of me. Yeah, another fatality. The human body was not meant to come apart.
I have seen a great deal of death in my life, the worst was an airliner that went down by one of our family friends homes and we were on the way to his house when the plane passed overhead and flattened a hotel when I was seven. Yup, an awful lot of bodies and I had no reaction. Being born with no emotions probably saved me a lifetime of therapy. And feeling nothing, I joined my father in helping the medics pick up body parts to put in the boxes.
But this one was different. I have emotions now, I can feel! And the horror of this brought me to tears. I just sat with my car in park, and cried. No one honked their horns or yelled, everyone was in shock. After a few moments, I was able to recover enough to continue my trip - meditating on the apparent randomness of life.
 |
| Photo from King 5 News |
August 9, 2014
August 8, 2014
Lessons From A Day
Our goal, the desire we are supposed to have, is to be like Jesus. So what can we learn from just a random day in the life of Jesus?
Mark 1:21 - 34
Pay Attention
Jesus only speaks with authority!
Focus on how He preached here.
Not on what He said.
See how His presentation was accepted by the audience.
People knew that He knew what He was saying and here for!
Get Ready
Your "stuff" (the demons which plagues us!) will meet:
And He will overcome what plagues us!
Serve Jesus
It is our only way to say thank you to Jesus!
Consider that there are four parts in this section:
Make your home safe for broken people!
Peter's house was where broken people came.
They came to meet Jesus.
They brought their friends as well.
It was where they knew they would be welcome.
Mark 1:21 - 34
Pay Attention
Jesus only speaks with authority!
Focus on how He preached here.
Not on what He said.
See how His presentation was accepted by the audience.
People knew that He knew what He was saying and here for!
Get Ready
Your "stuff" (the demons which plagues us!) will meet:
- His power
- His Word
- His authority
- His victory
And He will overcome what plagues us!
Serve Jesus
It is our only way to say thank you to Jesus!
Consider that there are four parts in this section:
- Expression of need - Peter's grandmother was ill
- Request for help - they asked for help
- Healing - and she was
- Reaction - the grandmother served Jesus
Make your home safe for broken people!
Peter's house was where broken people came.
They came to meet Jesus.
They brought their friends as well.
It was where they knew they would be welcome.
August 7, 2014
Good Luck Selling That Truck
I want to buy a small pick-up truck. I will be able to afford about $5,000 for a 1990's something Toyota. All I really care about is that it is an extended cab, long bed and in decent condition. Seems simple. But, alas, we have to deal with a humanity whose brains have been rotted out on drugs, so the following conversation is not a joke, it is just typical:
ring-ring
Me: "Hi, I am calling about a pick-up you have for sale ..."
Seller: "Yeah?"
Me: "Is it still available?"
Seller: "Yeah, no one has even looked at it."
Me: "The ad does not say anything about the truck ..."
Seller: "Yeah, well it has a great sound system ..." and launches into how awesome the stereo is.
Me: "Uhm, I am looking for a truck not at sound system. What makes your truck worth what you are asking for it?"
Seller: "Hey, that sound system cost me four grand!"
Me: "Are you selling a stereo or a truck?"
Seller: "A truck ..."
Me: "Then why are you asking three times the value of the truck's blue book value?"
Seller: "The stereo man! It is awesome! The truck is ****!"
Me: "Okay, so it is a stereo you are selling for more than you bought it for then?"
Seller: "Are you insane? That stereo was four grand and I want a reasonable price for the truck!"
Me: "Okay, pull your stereo you love so much out and I will pay your price for the truck."
Seller: "@#$%%^$#& NO! I don't want that poc stereo! I want them both gone!"
Me: hang up
This is just typical of the freaks out there trying to sell a truck! The sale has nothing to do with the truck, it is all about the stereo, the speakers, the woofers, the preamp, maybe even fancy rims or custom spray can paint job! And oh, yeah, the truck came with the wrong bumpers on it, of course it was never in a collision ...
Yeah ...
Still looking for a truck.
And I almost forgot to mention, this was a conversation with one of the young men in my church ...
ring-ring
Me: "Hi, I am calling about a pick-up you have for sale ..."
Seller: "Yeah?"
Me: "Is it still available?"
Seller: "Yeah, no one has even looked at it."
Me: "The ad does not say anything about the truck ..."
Seller: "Yeah, well it has a great sound system ..." and launches into how awesome the stereo is.
Me: "Uhm, I am looking for a truck not at sound system. What makes your truck worth what you are asking for it?"
Seller: "Hey, that sound system cost me four grand!"
Me: "Are you selling a stereo or a truck?"
Seller: "A truck ..."
Me: "Then why are you asking three times the value of the truck's blue book value?"
Seller: "The stereo man! It is awesome! The truck is ****!"
Me: "Okay, so it is a stereo you are selling for more than you bought it for then?"
Seller: "Are you insane? That stereo was four grand and I want a reasonable price for the truck!"
Me: "Okay, pull your stereo you love so much out and I will pay your price for the truck."
Seller: "@#$%%^$#& NO! I don't want that poc stereo! I want them both gone!"
Me: hang up
This is just typical of the freaks out there trying to sell a truck! The sale has nothing to do with the truck, it is all about the stereo, the speakers, the woofers, the preamp, maybe even fancy rims or custom spray can paint job! And oh, yeah, the truck came with the wrong bumpers on it, of course it was never in a collision ...
Yeah ...
Still looking for a truck.
And I almost forgot to mention, this was a conversation with one of the young men in my church ...
August 6, 2014
Are Music and Sin Shareable?
Our worship "minister" or perhaps entertainment leader in my vernacular, ran afoul our pastor and just as abruptly was gone. Shame, I liked him. Not necessarily his music or that fact that such a position exists in what is supposed to be a Church but he was a real person. I like real people.
So, we now have an interesting assemblage of "worship" time leadership. From the old leader, leading occasionally, to even singing back up for others with only a fraction of her ability.
A few years ago, I had several members of the same family in my Sunday School class. Back then they were from junior high through college but they all wanted to stick together. I think they had a good time in my classes and learned much ... until my heart gave out.
And there they were, all five of them plus the mother, all doing the various instruments and singing. Actually, it was sort of fun seeing them all together - and they did a good job!
I am admittedly jealous of anyone with musical talent. I can sing, as long as someone with me can read music and teach me the changes (just monkey see, monkey do, you know!).
And here is an entire family gifted musically.
But, for that darn discernment, I would rejoice. I have known, as long as I have known any of them, the curse which stalks them. It is sad to witness - from the parents, to each of the children (save for one so far!). They all have fallen in the same manor before God.
And as I sat there, I thought something I have never considered before, if things such as ability can be genetic - is the weakness which brings us down within a family genetic or at least spiritually passed on? Could the sins of my father, be the weaknesses or sins I am going to be most susceptible to? Are my weaknesses reflected in my adopted children's lives or is it their birth parents .... ?
I am not talking about the passing on of sin but the passing on of the weakness which can lead to the same sin nature of the parent.
I have no idea, but having had this realization, I am now seeing disturbingly my father in me. No, I am not going to go his way if I can avoid it at all! But, those weaknesses, which where his downfall, I see and understand the tug and how/why he fell before God. With any luck I will keep my eyes on God and not on my situations - continuing to journey forward as I restart life.
But, such an interesting thought. What do you think?
So, we now have an interesting assemblage of "worship" time leadership. From the old leader, leading occasionally, to even singing back up for others with only a fraction of her ability.
A few years ago, I had several members of the same family in my Sunday School class. Back then they were from junior high through college but they all wanted to stick together. I think they had a good time in my classes and learned much ... until my heart gave out.
And there they were, all five of them plus the mother, all doing the various instruments and singing. Actually, it was sort of fun seeing them all together - and they did a good job!
I am admittedly jealous of anyone with musical talent. I can sing, as long as someone with me can read music and teach me the changes (just monkey see, monkey do, you know!).
And here is an entire family gifted musically.
But, for that darn discernment, I would rejoice. I have known, as long as I have known any of them, the curse which stalks them. It is sad to witness - from the parents, to each of the children (save for one so far!). They all have fallen in the same manor before God.
And as I sat there, I thought something I have never considered before, if things such as ability can be genetic - is the weakness which brings us down within a family genetic or at least spiritually passed on? Could the sins of my father, be the weaknesses or sins I am going to be most susceptible to? Are my weaknesses reflected in my adopted children's lives or is it their birth parents .... ?
I am not talking about the passing on of sin but the passing on of the weakness which can lead to the same sin nature of the parent.
I have no idea, but having had this realization, I am now seeing disturbingly my father in me. No, I am not going to go his way if I can avoid it at all! But, those weaknesses, which where his downfall, I see and understand the tug and how/why he fell before God. With any luck I will keep my eyes on God and not on my situations - continuing to journey forward as I restart life.
But, such an interesting thought. What do you think?
August 5, 2014
Where Are Your Priorities?
We live in a day and age where everyone is "busy". So busy, in fact, that nothing actually ever gets accomplished or done! Take my son for example. Too busy to do any chores around the house, too busy to work any overtime at work, too busy to go to college, too busy to actually have meaningful relationships. All of his "time" is taken, there just is no room for anything that I might think is important or of value. And I am "ancient", so I just do not understand.
What does he spend his time doing that leaves him so busy? Well, he does work, he does spend a stupefying amount of time washing, waxing and polishing his POC Ford that although pretty, may not be running too much longer. He does spend one Saturday a month with a human being fishing or "visiting". The rest of the time is dedicated to playing computer games on the internet with his "friends" he will never actually meet.
Your time commitments might be a bit different, but I would be willing to bet that you are just as busy as he is - at everything except what is important in and to your life! God is not going to reward you for being the best player at Halo or Warcraft, yet I know numerous Christian men and women whom are so wholly consumed with Warcraft that they can not hold a professional job! Really?
Being busy, to any extent, is wholly a matter of choice. Even if that busy state is the result of not wanting to say "No" to others, that is a choice as well! We can so completely fill every moment of our lives to the point that there is no way to jam one more item in - and guess what - NONE of it will be in service to God or really matters - because that is not what God seeks for anyone!
Misplaced priorities is a problem in this day and age. Too many temptations, too many ways to fill every second, and none of them serves any purpose other than to pass time - which would be better spent in prayer, study or with friends in fellowship (hint: fellowship is with other Christians). The point is to reach the point where you can live each day for God, not yourself.
Mark 1:35 - 39
Learn to Put First Things First
Verses 21-34, Jesus was not having exactly a great day. It was filled with people needing demons cast out, physical illnesses needing healing - ALL day long! No one was giving Him a break!
And Jesus went out and prayed.
Jesus is praying, people are still seeking Him desiring healing and freedom from demons.
We need to be thanking Him, praising Him, etc.
See The Urgent But Do The Essential
Faith based on observing miracles is the point of Jesus nor Christianity
Faith based on belief is ...
Jesus knew the needs of those present and seeking Him out. But He also knew that something would/could never be finish or done. There would always be physical needs, even after He left.
The urgent is not always the essential needing to be done.
God will stretch us.
We live within the tension between Security and Risk or :
Security will never yield Growth
Nor will Risk lead to Stagnation
So, wrap up:
Prayer is to be number one in your life. If it is not, then start praying!
Prayer is your ability to communicate with God.
Sure He know everything, but I think He likes to hear that we are understanding what He knows.
I pray most when I drive, take a bath, use the "facilities" - anytime I am primarily alone and have quiet time.
Prayer is not a time for our never ending shopping list! God will supply as He needs to support our needs - not our desires! God will supply as He needs to support His projects, not your desired lifestyle.
Learn to be able to identify what is important in life!
What does he spend his time doing that leaves him so busy? Well, he does work, he does spend a stupefying amount of time washing, waxing and polishing his POC Ford that although pretty, may not be running too much longer. He does spend one Saturday a month with a human being fishing or "visiting". The rest of the time is dedicated to playing computer games on the internet with his "friends" he will never actually meet.
Your time commitments might be a bit different, but I would be willing to bet that you are just as busy as he is - at everything except what is important in and to your life! God is not going to reward you for being the best player at Halo or Warcraft, yet I know numerous Christian men and women whom are so wholly consumed with Warcraft that they can not hold a professional job! Really?
Being busy, to any extent, is wholly a matter of choice. Even if that busy state is the result of not wanting to say "No" to others, that is a choice as well! We can so completely fill every moment of our lives to the point that there is no way to jam one more item in - and guess what - NONE of it will be in service to God or really matters - because that is not what God seeks for anyone!
Misplaced priorities is a problem in this day and age. Too many temptations, too many ways to fill every second, and none of them serves any purpose other than to pass time - which would be better spent in prayer, study or with friends in fellowship (hint: fellowship is with other Christians). The point is to reach the point where you can live each day for God, not yourself.
Mark 1:35 - 39
Learn to Put First Things First
Verses 21-34, Jesus was not having exactly a great day. It was filled with people needing demons cast out, physical illnesses needing healing - ALL day long! No one was giving Him a break!
And Jesus went out and prayed.
- Prayer is our spiritual breathing (one of Bill Bright's thoughts)
- You need to pray often
- You need to pray before its actual need!
- You need to have times everyday to pray
- You need to have places to pray
- Prayer feeds your spiritual, mental and emotional maturity
Jesus is praying, people are still seeking Him desiring healing and freedom from demons.
We need to be thanking Him, praising Him, etc.
See The Urgent But Do The Essential
Faith based on observing miracles is the point of Jesus nor Christianity
Faith based on belief is ...
Jesus knew the needs of those present and seeking Him out. But He also knew that something would/could never be finish or done. There would always be physical needs, even after He left.
The urgent is not always the essential needing to be done.
God will stretch us.
We live within the tension between Security and Risk or :
- Stagnation <---- You ----> Growth
Security will never yield Growth
Nor will Risk lead to Stagnation
So, wrap up:
Prayer is to be number one in your life. If it is not, then start praying!
Prayer is your ability to communicate with God.
Sure He know everything, but I think He likes to hear that we are understanding what He knows.
I pray most when I drive, take a bath, use the "facilities" - anytime I am primarily alone and have quiet time.
Prayer is not a time for our never ending shopping list! God will supply as He needs to support our needs - not our desires! God will supply as He needs to support His projects, not your desired lifestyle.
Learn to be able to identify what is important in life!
August 4, 2014
Maury Island Incident
It was March 2012, I was jolted out of bed by a phone call. Thinking daughter had missed a bus connection on her first day of work and I would have to pick her up and get her to work, I ran for the phone. I also recalled to my mind that this was the morning of the tryouts for the extras to be in a movie to be filmed in the area. It was about the first post war UFO sighting. If they wanted someone huge with the ability to copy most accents, I was ready! But, I shattered my left foot and Kris was down for the count, 2.5 years later and that darn foot is still a problem since it broke again a week ago. Sigh.
I missed the filming, the premiere, the parties, everything ... Until last night, I got to go to a showing! I was so excited. The entire productions staff was there, as was most of the characters from the film. It has won numerous awards and is about to be re-editted into a six part serial for the Indie Film Network on cable, just announced.
It was a great night though.
I decided to din in a local tavern and the food was beyond first rate! I was literally stunned at the quality of what their kitchen was pushing out. Everything was perfect. The steak flavorful and about as tough as butter. The calamari with home made aioli excellent. A chocolate truffle cake ... awesome! And a Moose Drool dark ale the perfect compliment!
I hobbled over to the line so as to get started for the walk in early and BLAM! Kris is hit by a cougar! OMG! Really? And it turned out I am older than her - I just look young because of the lack of grey hair! I laughed so hard over that one as I walked home!
As for the movie? Just think, "Best Twilight Zone sequence, ever!" Cold War paranoia, and FBI agency which can not even trust itself, too many coincidences to leave anyone not believing there is a conspiracy. Yeah, lots to work with there.
And thinking of leaving! I was trying to pay for my popcorn when I was jumped from behind! A soft continental voice purrs in my ear, "OMG, Kris I have not seen you forever!"
I turned around and am staring into the eyes of someone from the old days. In the old blog she was called Barracuda because of her appetite for males! Apparently she has been touring the world and visiting all of the UFO museums and hot spots this summer - hence her surprise appearance in my little burg ... One of the women in her entourage asked her something and I quietly melted away from her grasp. Nothing personal dear, just no interest, and I am sticking to my vow to never talk to a woman ever again, not already in my life ... Shudder! (except for Kelly, I still owe you!)
But as I limped the few blocks to where I am staying, I had to smile remembering her uncle, and although heavily challenged by life, was an incredible showman, singer, songwriter and real human being I have heard from those whom knew him well. I was always sorry for his death so long ago of HIV. Given what Barracuda is like, his entire family must have been terribly whacked by something years ago spiritually. But then that is true of most Brits.
Get a chance to see the movie, go for it, you will not be sorry and it is only 30 minutes long.
I missed the filming, the premiere, the parties, everything ... Until last night, I got to go to a showing! I was so excited. The entire productions staff was there, as was most of the characters from the film. It has won numerous awards and is about to be re-editted into a six part serial for the Indie Film Network on cable, just announced.
It was a great night though.
I decided to din in a local tavern and the food was beyond first rate! I was literally stunned at the quality of what their kitchen was pushing out. Everything was perfect. The steak flavorful and about as tough as butter. The calamari with home made aioli excellent. A chocolate truffle cake ... awesome! And a Moose Drool dark ale the perfect compliment!
I hobbled over to the line so as to get started for the walk in early and BLAM! Kris is hit by a cougar! OMG! Really? And it turned out I am older than her - I just look young because of the lack of grey hair! I laughed so hard over that one as I walked home!
As for the movie? Just think, "Best Twilight Zone sequence, ever!" Cold War paranoia, and FBI agency which can not even trust itself, too many coincidences to leave anyone not believing there is a conspiracy. Yeah, lots to work with there.
And thinking of leaving! I was trying to pay for my popcorn when I was jumped from behind! A soft continental voice purrs in my ear, "OMG, Kris I have not seen you forever!"
I turned around and am staring into the eyes of someone from the old days. In the old blog she was called Barracuda because of her appetite for males! Apparently she has been touring the world and visiting all of the UFO museums and hot spots this summer - hence her surprise appearance in my little burg ... One of the women in her entourage asked her something and I quietly melted away from her grasp. Nothing personal dear, just no interest, and I am sticking to my vow to never talk to a woman ever again, not already in my life ... Shudder! (except for Kelly, I still owe you!)
But as I limped the few blocks to where I am staying, I had to smile remembering her uncle, and although heavily challenged by life, was an incredible showman, singer, songwriter and real human being I have heard from those whom knew him well. I was always sorry for his death so long ago of HIV. Given what Barracuda is like, his entire family must have been terribly whacked by something years ago spiritually. But then that is true of most Brits.
Get a chance to see the movie, go for it, you will not be sorry and it is only 30 minutes long.
August 2, 2014
Musical Saturday Morning
This is the first Saturday of the month and so we have to have a 1980's hit to open the month up for us! But, this song is pure 1970's! The hair, the clothes, the music style - all straight from the 70's! Oh thank you God that the 70's are gone!
But, it is 1980, so does qualify - but what a contrast to the beauty of the music from the 1980's ...
But, it is 1980, so does qualify - but what a contrast to the beauty of the music from the 1980's ...
August 1, 2014
Happiness
Prior to my new nature being dumped on me, I can not say I was ever happy. Oh, I knew contentment as a component of happiness and so that became happiness for me. If I was "happy" that meant I was satisfied with life. But, no, it really was not happiness.
After the huge change hit my life, in 2013, I did know times of happiness but it was equally balanced with pain. Be happy, get slapped down by life to face reality. Sigh.
Then there was my cryptic Saturday post that I knew happiness was coming, I just had no clue what it meant. I had some guesses, which were rather quickly killed. So, I was perplexed and almost a month passed. Theb God reminded me again that I was to know happiness. Another week passed. I had no clue where or what this happiness was or could possibly be.
And then it was birthed within me, I suddenly discovered happiness.
But it was a happiness not based upon others or what they could do for me. There was nothing I did to cause it to happen - it simply was there. It was not a matter of my old understanding of contentment. Happiness was in there, I was/am joyous and remain so.
And today as I thought on this, I realized that happiness is not the result of an external influence, it is the result of what is in you. I have been given true happiness. A blessing for sure. A gift I can share with those whom cross my path everyday. From random man in parking lot to bouncer watching the door at the concert my youngest daughter went to last night. From the tired worker behind a candy counter to the poor cashier trying to get done as the store closed and slow shoppers like me complicate things! I was able to leave smiles on each of their faces.
I am not sure I have ever done anything to deserve happiness to be discovered inside of me so late in life. But, I thank God for it. It surely is a most unexpected miracle ...
After the huge change hit my life, in 2013, I did know times of happiness but it was equally balanced with pain. Be happy, get slapped down by life to face reality. Sigh.
Then there was my cryptic Saturday post that I knew happiness was coming, I just had no clue what it meant. I had some guesses, which were rather quickly killed. So, I was perplexed and almost a month passed. Theb God reminded me again that I was to know happiness. Another week passed. I had no clue where or what this happiness was or could possibly be.
And then it was birthed within me, I suddenly discovered happiness.
But it was a happiness not based upon others or what they could do for me. There was nothing I did to cause it to happen - it simply was there. It was not a matter of my old understanding of contentment. Happiness was in there, I was/am joyous and remain so.
And today as I thought on this, I realized that happiness is not the result of an external influence, it is the result of what is in you. I have been given true happiness. A blessing for sure. A gift I can share with those whom cross my path everyday. From random man in parking lot to bouncer watching the door at the concert my youngest daughter went to last night. From the tired worker behind a candy counter to the poor cashier trying to get done as the store closed and slow shoppers like me complicate things! I was able to leave smiles on each of their faces.
I am not sure I have ever done anything to deserve happiness to be discovered inside of me so late in life. But, I thank God for it. It surely is a most unexpected miracle ...
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