If you had to pick something I hate more than anything else on this planet; needles would be the winner! I hate needles thanks to the brutality of US Army doctors! When I was 18, I snapped and blasted one of those psychopaths through a wall! When my mind returned to me - the doc was laying on the floor, half way through the wall and quite unconscious! I grabbed my medical charts and headed out the door!
I felt really bad for the poor guy, I later heard he "retired" from medicine. Well, he certainly did not have a bedside manner worthy of not being trashed by every patient ...
So my life has been lived in varying degrees of object terror of needles and the past three years have been nothing but constant needles! Constant surgeries, constant IVs ... shudder!
And now I find I am to be subjected to a minimum of four more surgeries, in a series beginning on December 27th ... waaaaaah!
This is the start of the dialysis surgeries to install the first of the fistulas .... Well, I am guessing that it is good that technology is there for people with "poor" veins.
And with the dead kidneys, they had to drop all of my diabetes medications - so guess whom now has to go injections of insulin ... sigh ...
Yeah, Kris' life is about become a living hell beginning in December.
And I honestly have been asking the hard question, "is life worth it?"
I know where I belong, it is just a question of, for what am I living here?
Sucky day ...
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