Ugh, Life!

Ugh, another day!
Another day of dialysis!
A day lost to the ravages of what it does to my body!
I lose fully 50% of my life, just to recovery from what it takes to stay alive!
The price I pay, to stay alive,
To pay off my car,
So GG will have something reliable to drive!
So just watch her die before me!
And my grand-daughter get the car ...
LOL

I think about the lady in church, whom would talk to me.
And then so abruptly die from kidney failure!
She showed no signs of the disease.
Not even a twinge of yellow to her skin.
Yet she was so far gone that when told of the emergency need for dialysis,
She died the very next day!
Not so uncommon they tell me at the kidney center.
And no one has died in many months there!
It was sort of droll being there,
Having your life extended,
While a few chairs away -
Not so much!
And weekly, it seemed.

Had uncomfortable dreams last night.
About GG not surviving these knee replacements.
One is done and she is struggling to get past the pain.
Even if I am only a second class citizen of this home,
At least she sort of likes me now.
(don't read anything into that one!)
I really do not want to be left alone .....

Okay,
Bummed myself out.
Going to go find something to do in the land of the living,
Not my thoughts ...

Maybe a nice walk in the rain ....
Always refreshing.
Just have to keep the prosthetic dry.
I wonder if the local pub is serving smoked salmon today?
Only one way to find out!

ciao!