Yesterdays Ghosts

Since high school, I have always been haunted.

At the time, I was haunted by:
The damage I did to two thugs, whom would have killed me
My abandonment by my high school sweet-heart

After college, I could add:
Loss of an almost wife
Causing a terrible traffic accident

A few years ago I was able to get past the loss of my wife and accept her choices in life.
I have no reason to "get past" the thugs, they got what they earned.
This past winter the Lord kindly reminded me about what really happened to my girlfriend.
So, I understand, it was not her choice but her father's I could not deal with.
And the traffic accident, I really played no part in.
But I was part of the problem, in so far as I was speeding.
sigh ....

But several years ago, I slipped up, and trusted someone again.
I was completely transparent, that was our agreement.
I was just not ready to deal with someone I trusted - lying to me ...
To my face ...
Without so much as a blink of the eye!

Around year two, things were no longer understandable to me.
So, when Kris is confused, he turns to Miss Manners.
As usual, their insights were right on target.
Then they deleted me as a friend.
I have no idea as to why.
But that hurt.

I thought I was past all this,
But last night I visited my es-friend's homepage on FaceBook.
Yeah they had quite a few changes in their life,
Not necessarily for the best.
And I felt kicked.

I hate it when people  I still pray for make poor choices.

But, I now know to pray for God to draw them back.
He is good at that.
Even if He has to use a baseball bat to get your attention!

As for me, more time in prayer,
It is my refuge.