Musical Saturday Morning

It was 1966 (?) and I had a new favorite song.  It just struck a note with me and we all sang it that winter on the school bus, at school and during recess!  Decades later I won the record from a radio station whom was playing stump the listening audience - I got the song on just one note!

Paul Rainer was the lead singer on this single hit for the Troggs, many decades later he is a very close friend of mine - as is his wife whom calls me "Steven King" because she loves his books and comments constantly about how much I look like him !!!!  (that would be pre-motorcycle accident Steven!)  LOL  It was Paul's one brush with fame as he was then assigned to Western Germany as a British spook.  But, he has all of his photos hanging on the walls concerts and all. 

Makes one wonder about the twists and turns of life.  If he had stayed in rock, what would have happened to him?  Most certainly I would have never met him, nor would he be a friend today. 

Hmmmmm .....

Seeking Joy

Paul writes this from prison and he writes about joy and gain.  A sharp contrast with the life he was living ... or was it?

Philippians 1:8-11

Grow to love more like Jesus by:

Experience God's Love Yourself
It is not enough to read about God's love for you.
You need to, you have to experience it - to understand it!
Relationship with God:
Prayer
Understanding
Seeking
Listening to the Holy Spirit
Understanding
Seeking
Repenting
repeat as needed ...
Service

Choosing What Is Excellent
Discernment - ability to know wrong from right, what is of God or not, lie from truth.
Comes with maturity and study, with the Holy Spirit working in you.
We are all told to test everything - you are supposed to have this!
If you do not study, you will not know, you will not be able to judge.
Conversely, if we take our eyes off God for a moment, we can be surprised ...

Praise Everyday
Give thanks in all.
Concentrate on seeing life's positives.
Do not only view the negative!
Be of help to all, even strangers, do not expect them to acknowledge you.
See all you do as being for Jesus, in His name, for His good, not your own.
What you can not see as being for Jesus, you probably need to step away from as soon as possible.

Bring glory to Jesus.
Bring glory to God.
Just let go of pride, fear, hate, jealousies, all that is not of God.
Seek to love as Jesus demonstrated.

The Revenant

As you may recall, I am a major US Wild West history junkie.  Always have been.  When your early years are filled with elderly people whom fought in the Indian Wars, chased Poncho Villa around Mexico and Texas, and knew the tails of those whom had come before - it is so terribly hard not be be touched by those tales!  I love elderly people!

So, I was in grade four, in northeastern France and I found a book about Hugh Glass on my monthly journey to the local NATO library some seventy miles away.   I guess I thought the book was about glass ...  Instead it was a semi-riveting book about the fur trader Hugh Glass.  Don't worry, by seeing the movie - The Revenant, you still will not know anything about Hugh Glass.

So, some Hollywood types are kicked back on a business trip to old Mexico trying to come up with an idea for a movie.  Toking away at their Peyote, while passing the pipe, one of them comments they ought to redo Jeremiah Johnston ...  Stoned out of their heads, they hammer out the main portion of the proposed movie ...

Oh make no mistake, this film is not about Hugh Glass but rather about some stoner trapped in the wilds of the old west on a really bad trip!  You will get what I mean once you have seen the movie.

Okay, Leonardo's butt is there for your pleasure.  We have an aborted rape scene, a man with his jewels cut off by the rape victim, a frontal nudity of a skinny man and more brutality than occurred across the entire history of the old west, all in two hours of film!  Of course we have to denigrate the French as well and as for the "savages", well they are after-all, savages!  Oh, how high do  you like your Pawnee's strung up?  I blame Tarantino for the presentation  style and content here ....

The locations are spectacular.  I have been to most of them and really enjoyed knowing I had waded that river, peed behind that rock, yodeled in that canyon!  I am sure that Leonardo has done the same so I will now have to go back and re-stake my territory!

Acting is quite good given that the writers were most likely on drugs and had no idea what they were doing.

Clothing was a bit hit or miss.  The 1820's are not well documented in that regard - were it the 1840's then I would be beyond critical!

Language was unfortunately not historical and could have been filmed with Chris Rock or Richard Pryor at their worst.

Story line ... again no mindset of what the early west was, nor the fur trade, save for watching old John Wayne or Charlton Heston movies.  And from an Indian viewpoint, oh heavens!  We have the Cree, the Arikara and Pawnees referred to ... they probably ought to go for a group action lawsuit!  And then everyone can turn on the French and get them to pay retribution to the tribes!  Or maybe everyone with the last name of Glass could sue the estate of the long dead Jim Bridger ... LOL

In reality, the movie's storyline took place across three months time, Hugh forgave Bridger when he caught him, he demanded his rifle back from Fitzgerald - but did not kill Fitzgerald as he was in the American Army, with a high penalty for killing soldiers, and sadly Hugh only lived 9 more years after this story took place.  The Arikara got  him in the end.

My suggestion is that this is an exciting movie.  It shows how someone can be turned into a sociopath (Glass) and a psychopath (Fitzgerald).  But, it is not something I would take a teen to see, nor a female I respected.  And the real story is is far less exciting but just as riveting ...  If you love history find a copy of "Lord Grizzly" by Frederick Manfred, 1954 instead, and a large cup of some good tea.  Worked for me in grade four ....

Explosion '72

In 1971, mother decided to become a Southern Baptist.  Mind you I did not say Christian - I still have hopes she can indeed find God one of these days - drowning in the morass of theology she had her head stuffed full of at Denver Theological (danger Will Robinson!).  And with her decision came the decision that Sommer and I, as well as, all of our friends had to go to church with her.  Really?  My only satisfaction in all of that I made a couple of friends and found out they went to my high school and so had someone to hang out with at lunch!  Yeah, if I you are a foreign geek you really are not going to make many friends!  Also seemed that if you were a church attender, no wanted to know you either!  Double whammy for me it seemed.

That summer I started reading random references to something called Jesus People.  What I found interesting was that these "Jesus People" by all appearances seemed different than the hypocrites whom attended mother's church (oh, the stories I could tell!).  Sure, the biggest joke in the church was about the typical Boulder Canyon hippie visiting a church and getting invited out to lunch; at the meal he asks for more green beans and adds, "Praise the Lord".  How those people would roar with laughter!

But, there was something about these "People": they were not rioting, they were not protesting, they were a peaceful lot - really not getting into anyone's face - and that made me notice.  They talked about peace, peace was possible between all men - but it started with you, in your heart ...  Made no sense to me, as far as I knew I had no heart but peace I understood - because it was something I longed for and could never find.

The summer of 1972, the youth group all went down to Dallas, Texas for Explosion 1972.  I was unsure as to what it would be, other than an utter waste of time.  But the church had a couple of buses and the youth group headed off to Texas.  What is there to say?  The children of hypocrites, are hypocrites.  Yeah, they could talk a great line but unable to live it across two weeks.  I was completely disgusted with everyone of them by the end of that trip.

But something stuck with me ... the music.  It spoke to me.  No it was not rock or anything, perhaps folk music?  The words meant something.  And, just because I was surrounded by hypocrites did not mean that there was not a truth somewhere out there ... communicated by those words.  It started my mind working, ultimately leading to my fall from grace with everyone I knew, thrown out of my family and exiled to Seattle the following year.  In that also came my finding the peace and the truth behind those words.

I was never a part of the Jesus People, I actually never met anyone whom was, but I met a great many whom were touch by what happened that summer of '72.  We struggled to understand against the backdrop of an unyielding archaic church, whom did not understand us and would not try.  We must conform that was their only answer, no matter how wrong they were.  It was easy to understand how so many were moved to fall into cults or movements which did become cultic.

Ever so often I think of, Keith Green and Love Song,  their music, their words.  Most of it was "eh", but I think of the words and meaning behind the song, "Love Song".  They still have meaning to me.  I still have that longing within me for ultimate peace - on Earth between all men and within my heart.  But, for now, that peace will only be found within a relationship with Jesus, in faith.

And everything else will just be chaos ...

Farewell George

If you have been a long time reader of my series of blogs, then you know I have a series of "virtual children", those whom were friends of my children or me, came and stayed.  It also meant that if you wanted to call me Papa or Pops, then there was a requirement to acknowledge my right to get in your face, offer advise and help as needed - even when not asked!  :)  And understand that in that simple statement has come rushing back all of these memories of my virtual children.  Amnesia sucks at how everything can be stolen from you ... quietly waiting for something to trigger it to come back!

Virtual Fifth Daughter, has been long gone from my life (I am told too embarrassed to face me).  She choose mighty poorly in life and she never had to have, but she was watching Oldest Daughter and her choices.  Well, if OD was not willing to do what was right, why should she? Yeah, people watch our lives and our screw ups - OD messed up big and it affected many of her friends.  I do not know if OD has figured this out yet for herself yet or not.  She is big on condemning VFD, but can she see what she caused?

And VFD had a brother, George.  Oh gosh, a good looking, smart and engaging young man.  He had everything going for him - and - everything in the world going against him.  He and sister are black, not a shade of.  And he bought into the lie that the culture of the black man must be one of protest, thievery, drugs and prostitution.  Free money, to buy drugs and sex with!  What more could any young man ask for?  Oh yeah, all of your friends are gang members too.

I tried working with George to tell him about a different way through life - but to him it was the "white man's" way.  He just could never reach the point of understanding that God is colorblind.  I remember my last words ever to him were a question, "Could you try and act any more stereo-typical?"  They have hung on my tongue for over a decade now.  He knew exactly what I was saying, so did his father whom had popped in for a visit that afternoon - first time in years I guess.  His father agreed with me, what his son was calling life was really not worth living.  At 17 he was already headed down the wrong road.  A young life being wasted, refusing every opportunity to do something with his life and his anger?  It was not towards me or whites, no one had actually ever done him wrong.  It was unfocused anger because all of his gang friends were angry at the system ...  A system of rules, yes, but open opportunities to all, if you play by them ...

Back home, they have been having an odd gang problem across the past year, that I am just trying to read about it and understand.  Gangs in the eastern part of town go over and shoot suspected rival gang members in the "white" western part and visa-versa.  So, eastern shooters managed to kill a 2 year old in her car seat.  Western shooters replied by killing those associated with the suspected shooter.  On and on it goes.  East versus west, it is not even a territory war, it is just murder for the fun of it I think.

And George, a black man for an unknown reason was hanging out around a vacant house, by his home, goes down in a hail of bullets.  By all indications he had left his past behind him.  He had a job, a wife, a child - he was breaking out of his old mold (and that of culture's).  Black man, living in the "white" sector, made to order target.  Or was it a drug deal gone bad?  Had he gone back to his old ways?  Even a month later, there is no answer to any questions.  And I hate to say this, but with him being yet another dead black statistic - his case may never be honestly pursued ...

I am sorry to have heard too late of his death.  I would have gone to his funeral, to support VFD if for no other reason ...

The world has gone quite mad and I fear ... we should not wonder when evil befalls our culture, society and the civilization we have created ... when our children must pay for our sins ... in what we have allowed to be created ...

Exhaustion

Oh my how mother's antique shows wear on me!  Even when I use massive amounts of caffeine - it is all I can do to stay awake! And the codeine for the pain sort of tries to negate all of that caffeine.

But, we managed to get her booth set up on Friday.  Due to traffic patterns I had to blast off at 5 am to get down to Puyallup.  Of course, that placed me there 4 hours early, but if I had of left later, it is quite likely I would not have arrived until 2 hours too late!  Such is the life of living in Seattle where any disastrous road maintenance project only requires two or three more to really foul things up!  And they do their fouling up even the rains!

It was a humorous day, I with virtually no memories - am confronted by all of these people whom thought they knew me!  Of course, I am blank ... nothing is there to draw from.  I seem to remember flickers of certain dealers, of things they had in the past which I had admired but there is nothing - no personal attachment to anything.  Almost frustrating ... but then that is a word I no longer understand either.

I met a long hair dachshund whom was very friendly, until I realized that the lady standing behind was holding a chihuhua and I think that the dachshund thought it was a puppy!  Well maybe my German is starting to leak back, I wrote the previous sentence wholly in German!  Then had to retype it.  Sigh.  Amnesia is enough to drive one quite mad!

Luckily for me, I was not tempted by anything I saw at the show, everything was much, much too expensive and I am getting rid of stuff.  From Neandertal tools, including two rare arrowheads - to - Roycoft whiskey bottles.  I like the bottles, I have no idea what anyone sees in whiskey - yuck! :(  I also took the whole of my Russia space medal collection and odd money types (like thinly sliced yew wood, plywood, etc.). Swiss postage mailers which predated the invention of stamps to World War I Swiss Army mailings.  So much stuff and it barely touches the surface of what I brought from Europe years ago.  Sigh, stuff ...

Well, bed calls a very exhausted Kris .... :)

Sweet dreams ...

Musical Saturday Morning

I loved this group back in the early 60's and this song was recently voted the best instrumental of all time!  No idea where - no one around here ever heard of the Shadows!

Antique Show

So, today I am off to help mother with one of her antique shows.  Usually these shows are stressful at best.  Mother is bi-polar (believing that if she refuses to be diagnosed then she is perfectly normal!) and has some real issues dealing with just normal people much less stressed out other dealers and the generally less than gentile public.  As February 2014 showed, the last show I helped her with, she can not even treat show managers well and was evicted because she insisted upon sitting in the middle of the aisle!  Of course, show manager was stressed out as well and they slammed noggins.  I expect that incident to eventually end up in court - they were both so out of control!

And last weekend brought me literally to the end of myself.  I still have not completely been able to recover from mother and Gaelic Girl going at it during my birthday party.  I fear for how mother is going to behave at this show, will she be able to control herself, her stressors and her anger? If so, it will only be because God intervenes to keep me sane.  Yeah, going to take some Nitro with me for sure!

As for the show itself, I have spent the whole of this week working on researching stuff, pricing and making labels.  It has been exhausting!  But hopefully all of that work will pay off.  Sigh ...

Now, I have to get back to packing for the show!

Those Whom Have Not Heard

And so went the question from one of my professors when I was working on my degree in Apologetics.  If people do not know, then will God condemn them to Hell?  Could this be justice?

It is an honest question, if those whom have not heard can still make it to Heaven, then why on Earth would we want to bring them under judgement?

That Indian in the Amazon jungle, those trapped behind the politics of their country and not allowed to know about God.  Why tell them at all if God judges intent, or "inner voice", or knows that what  you think is God can correlate to Him and you are just fine ...

Except Jesus thought it important.  The Jews had turned to apostasy and no longer knew whom God was, they no longer knew what their Scriptures said.  Sure they had a few brilliant Rabbis to figure things out for them, but even when Jesus showed up - there was but a few whom expected, much less recognized him ...

The argument raged across my class, Old Testament, New Testament, popular opinion all were shared - and honestly, I thought a fist fight was going to breakout!  Yeah, it got a little heated.

Then the teacher turn on me - "Kris, what do you think?"

Yeah, he knew I was a Hutterite searching for a far more solid truth than just tradition to hold on it - I wanted that TRUTH in my heart, in my mind - I had to know - to find the TRUTH!

So, there is only one answer - God will judge you based upon your knowledge of Him, He has revealed to you.  But since man does not seek to know the real God, well, not too many are going to be judged well in the outcome.  Think about this: you are an Amazon Indian, you are by all rights a pagan - but there are innate aspects of society and culture which transcend peoples and locations.  Marriage, taboos against murder, that empty spot in each of us - what do you fill it with?  Easy enough to judge:  were you faithful to your mate? did you kill anyone? did you seek Him?

Romans 1 tells us that creation, which surrounds each of us, testifies to the reality of God.  Yeah, and no one sees it because they do not want to.  There are easier more politically correct reasons for what exists other than the answer - God.   So, Paul tells us - NO one is without excuse for not finding God.  Ouch!

Why go and tell what you know?  Because no one else will, because they need to know if they are to have any hope facing God...

And amazingly, in this the most prolific of Bible owning country - I do run into people whom have not heard, whom have not read about God, Jesus or salvation.  All they know is hearsay from people whom do hate God and do not believe He has any right to judge them ...

The Pride of Man, one of the sins as well ...

Spiritual Poverty

Jesus told us to go and make converts of the world.  There is a real need to tell the world about the Love of God and what He was willing to do to bring you to Him - in His forgiveness, His Salvation and His future for you.
 
The peoples of the earth have a need to learn to follow Jesus and enter His Kingdom, we must remove every language barrier in the world to do so, with three things:

1.  Church

2.  Scripture

3.  Changed lives

1. What would your life be like without the Bible?
No access to it.
No ability to read it.
You never saw a Bible in your language ... what would you pay for such an item?

We are drowning in copies of unread Bibles in this country.
Yet, it is a forbidden text all over the world!
Closed countries (communist and Islamic) will imprison you for just possessing a Bible!
People write what they hear on scraps on paper and cherish those scraps!

And in the abundance of God's Word, most do not even read it ...

2. What would your life be like without the Church?
Who would teach you what the Bible says?
1,200 language groups with no Church.
Someone has to go, someone has to teach, someone has to witness.
Some one has to be sent ...

3. What if you didn’t have Church or Scripture?
1,800 language groups with no Church or Scripture.
Extremely poor countries have this problem.
Bibles on tape and CD have helped to spread the Gospel.
Solar powered devices help to play those tapes and CD's.

If you can not do ... please consider supporting those whom do work on Bible translation and Church planting to unreached peoples.  Some example of those whom do:

HCJB Radio
Jungle Aviation 
Lutheran Bible Translators
New Tribe Missions
Pioneer Bible Translators
Trans World Radio
Wycliffe Bible Translators

Getting Passed Your Past

If you are looking for the ultimate in psychology to help you get passed the mess you have made of your life - sorry, that wisdom can only be found on your knees in prayer.
If you are looking for the wisdom of Soloman - sorry, that is long gone but the Holy Spirit can help you with wisdom - if you ask for it in prayer to God.
If you are looking to be get past being held accountable for your actions - sorry, God holds you accountable.  It is called justice.  Except, He will cover your sins but not the cost of them.  :(

So what is holding you back from stepping forward in your life?

Finances?  Lifestyle?  People you associate with?  Poor past decisions?  Sin?  Selfishness?  Pride?  Anger?  Self control issues?  Sigh ... LIFE!!!!!!!!

Mark 9:43-48

Take Inventory of Your Life
You know what leads you to sin.
So control that path as best you can!
Your hand is what you can do
Your leg is where you go
Your eyes is what you see (stare at).

Guard your heart - your desires and  your will.
Friends build you up, all others tear you down.

What is rotten in your life and can/will/has take(n) you down.

Radically Remove What Is In Your Way
It is not literal that you should chop off  your hand, your leg or pluck out your eye!
It was understood that you would rather stop your activities than to lose body parts!
It is all in your mind, not your members!
Mind over your life, not the other way around.

Walking your faith is hard.
Discipleship is hard.
Going only where you should is hard.
(Places, Books, Internet)

Fully Consider The Consequences
All of the easy/fun/ crowded roads lead to Hell (eternal death)
The path to God avoids Hell

Hell - Gehenna (the place of the burning).
Where children were sacrificed.
Where the garbage was thrown.
The place of eternal fire.
Decay and Destruction.


So, what does all this give us?

That to reach God:
It will take real effort on your part
It is possible
It will take God's help
It will not be the way of the world or with the crowd
It will not be the "fun" way
It will require you to act
To be cautious
To be considerate in our prayer and associations
To understand that His ways are not our own
To walk a lonely road
.... and rejoice when we find others on that road with us ...

Humanity Should Be Our Race

I have now completed re-reading all of my archaeology books.  Some of them were a bit difficult - the massive usage of Greek, Hebrew and Latin in the texts was maddening - I realize I used to know this stuff but even when I translate the expressions, I am left utterly clueless as to what the author was driving at.  Sigh, poor old brain, you have been robbed.

I was fascinated relearning about the Egyptian culture and society.  The comparison to this world today is so strikingly different!  The Egyptians were about as close as one could get to a raceless society .... be you of whatever skin color - it was meaningless up to the time of the Hebrew exodus.  Then there was no trust any longer of any foreigner!  Color still had no meaning though.

Humanity had been the race of mankind.

Like many other cultures they learned racism and bigotry, then passing their newly acquired values on to their descendants ...  Time of course institutionalizing and validating that they are better than those they look down upon.  Dang those Greeks for beating the tar out of them!

This post arose out of a memory from late one night, before I could drift off and relive the same dream/memory yet again ... :)  Yeah, still only one dream, every night, everytime I close my eyes.  Sigh :) yeah you would be amazed at what brings me peace to my soul when I sleep.

In the memory, I am at the NCO Club bar at Fitzsimmons Army Hospital.  I had just passed my final shooting exam and Carlos Hathcock was talking about being a sniper in Vietnam ... "You are assigned your kill zone and you kill anything and everything in that zone ... dog, pig, Gook - does not matter.  They enter your zone, you kill them."

Of course as a young man I saw this as a bit outrageous but my mind had hooked onto the word, "Gook".  He had dehumanized the Vietnamese, they were no longer humans: men, women or children - just "Gooks".

But the military seems to have done that often.  Huns, Japs, Nips, Frogs, Cabbage Eaters, Krauts, Nazis, Commies, etc.  Pick the war and you can find lots of examples of removing any term associated with human in describing those whom you want to justify the killing of.

There was only one point in time where I saw that my father got "it".  We were at Calais, facing an untold sea of grave markers ... tens of thousands.  And father completely collapsed, sobbing and crying over the loss to the human chain of life.  Yeah, Nazi's were Darwinists.  Did not know that, did you?  The value of being human was your ability to pass on your genes to the next generation.

And here we come to reality: you, the Bible and  your responsibility as a Christian.

It is not just verbage from America's founding fathers: All Men Are Created Equal.  I remember in seventh grade history in Germany, that it was modified to be All White Men ... and they may well have been correct from the perspective of the Founding Fathers ... or it may well have been true to them: that all men are equal in God's eyes - and those are actually the only ones which matter.  Our perspective is just so much rubbish if we are demeaning others.

Want to change the world?  See the world as colorless, see others truly as your equal or even superior, end political suspicions - not stupidly, but with knowledge of whom your friends are.  For instance, there is little reason to think Israel is not an American friend, when politics are removed.  Same for many other nations America has spent a great on spying on them!  Conversely, nations whom are at best out right enemies, well, kiss off support for and concentrate on places like China and Saudi Arabia. Of course, it also means destroying the economic structure which supports underwriting those outright aggressive towards you and your friends or faith.

Humanity is the name of your race, and mine.  But how to convince those with power to lose?

As a Christian, you are called to LOVE - you, your family,  your friends and your enemies.  This word has been so misused that it really has no meaning any longer.  Even our enemies we are to love, think about that!  Yes, feeding, clothing and helping - all as a witness of His love in you.  Catch the hitch there?  It is a witnessing tool, no if and's or buts.  And the early Christians understood this, gathering money to help the Romans with destructions from flood and earthquakes.  Yeah, the Romans understood ... their government did not care - these people they persecuted did ....

So my point:  Human is our race and Love, God's Love, is to be our religion

How does this fit in with the problems this culture has created around the world and Christians are suffering from even as I write this?

It does not matter if you are an Immigrant, if you are a rapist - you must die.
It does not matter if you are Muslim and believe you are above the law - you must die,.
You loot,  you burn, you steal, you take up arms - you must die.
If you empower others to do these things - you must die.

Where is Love in there?!?!?!?  It is in the love for the innocent  you are fighting for, no matter whom they are .....

I still believe that with the application of rational minds peace can be found, it is the irrational mind which has been empowered which has caused this mess around the world - and this must be stopped.  It is not about politics, it is about justice.

The unknown 15 year old girl attacked in Cologne, is no less deserving of justice than my cousin Bernard who was executed for helping injured Muslim old men and women in a Bosnian refugee camp.  And the world system is incapable of even charging those they hold for his murderer!  His guilt is undeniable, even he admits it - but he also insists that those whom caused the mess be found guilty first ... and well, America sure is not going to hand over ex-President Bill Clinton.  That's politics for you!

Sorry world, you like to believe there are no lines in the sand ... and I am here to tell you that God long ago drew a line in the sand - cross it and expect a major whacking.

Sigh.

Happy Birthda ... DOH!

It was an extremely painful week last week.  I managed to fall off of my little scooter while going to bed.  But, rather than damage my stump, I wrenched my back something awful!  It is now five days and I can still barely move, living on codeine and watching Rome burn around me.  Sigh ...

Of course Friday was my mystery birthday - thanks to Oldest Daughter, at least I got that right.  She banged on my door at 6:50 am! until I was up, helped me dress and then let me take her out to breakfast.  Then we were off to Cabela's where I have a stack of gift cards for.  Well, I had fun ...  Lunch and Dinner at Azteca and it was easy to call it a day.  Back home GG was terse and obviously the bomb had been lit.  (Her credit card had hits it limit and she decided this was my fault!  I dared not mention her crafting shopping trips, nor her tickets home she bought!)

Saturday was my birthday with all of the children at Olive Garden.  Only First Daughter could not make it as she was working, but Swede showed up, he was even almost healthy!  He has been down with pneumonia since mid-December!  We had many laughs and Gaelic Girl was obviously furious over something, no idea what but we all knew to stay away.  (That I was having a kids party when her in mind either I did not deserve one, or that fact that she had none on her birthday!  But she treats everyone rather awful, so this is a surprise?)

Sunday was a birthday with my mother, none of the kids were there as they DO NOT get along with her!  And though I desperately wanted to avoid GG, she had to drive me (in raging silence!) down there and back home - due to the painkillers.  At about the 30 minute mark at Mom's, GG and Mom crossed swords, as they usually do, only this time it was screaming and shouting and the gloves came off.  I think they both noticed that I was not able to handle this and was emotionally having a nervous breakdown by then.  So, they put their gloves back on and just hissed while circling the dinner table.  Hissing is easier for me to take.

So, it was a great start to the weekend and went downhill fast since GG is once again going crazy it seems.  As is mother.  Sigh.

Now if I can just avoid GG until this weekend, I can get ready for my antique show without getting an ulcer and then she will be off on a crafting trip and I will be able to have peace (sans bonheur) for at least until mid-February.

As for bonheur, I fear it is not something in my immediate - perhaps not even distant - future.  But, I know it is possible, I have seen it ... but I am (failing for an English word here, sigh! - desirous of it?).  Argentina again beckons my spirit but now I know bonheur will not be found there, it is only an escape, that path gone. 

All any man desires is just peace and some happiness.  Neither are unreasonable nor unavailable with the right people surrounding you.  And in my nightly repeating dream ...... :)

Musical Saturday Morning

A justifiable tribute to my birthday weekend - no, it is not rock but from probably the finest western ever filmed ... and two iconic pieces of music:

Happy Birthday

On Grandmother's houseboat on the Columbia River, 1955

Yes it is that darn time of year again to wish me a Happy Birthday!  Wasn't too sure there would ever be another there for a while last year!

Unlike all previous years, this year I celebrate with no knowledge of ever having had a previous birthday!  It is so weird to "know" that your mind has been for the most part wiped clean.  Too weird!  It has been over 90 days now and still I only have pieces of what used to be memories but that is all.  It is like watching a film, you know what happened but there is no connection or "ownership" to any of it because it does not involve "you".  Sigh, no personal connection to anything of the past!  But, I sure wish they had used other gases on me in that last surgery.  I did hear that if they used too much morphine on me in the days after the surgery, this could do this to the old bean as well.  Yet, the brain functions quite well - it just lacks historical data now to judge anything by.  Weird.

Today, one or more of my children is apparently taking me out for the day- so I have been told to keep the day completely open.  I have no idea what to expect!  If I had to guess it would be my oldest, as she does the most stuff with me.  She also lives the furthest away!  It is true, you see more of your kids once they have move out!  Even if they live over an hour's commute away, LOL!

Do not know when she or they are appearing at my door, no idea what we are going to do, other than it takes all day.  So, in the meantime while I wait, I will work on getting ready for the end of month antique show I am doing.  Lots of sorting and research before I can begin pricing.  And, I have this show to do, then I will be in Tucson for a week, come back and do my largest antique show, then turn around and do a swap meet in early March.  Argh!  Three shows with only a few days between each of them to get ready for the next one!

So, I will let you know next week what fun was to be had!

A Catholic Stand Against ISIS

It Is A Duty For Christians To Take Up Arms, To Defend Their Brethren Against The Satanist Muslims

By Ted on October 6, 2014 in Featured, General

By Theodore Shoebat
Major Church leader, Bishop Bagobiri, of the Catholic Diocese of Kafanchan in Nigeria, said that it is the duty of Christians to take up arms to defend themselves and their brethren against Boko Haram, calling the jihadists as being a part of “Satanist driven Islamic organizations”. He said:

The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes it as an act of love towards one self and carried out in defense of God’s gift to life, which we are merely custodians. The theological authorities of the Church are emphatic: Love towards oneself remains a fundamental principle of morality.
…
Therefore, it is legitimate to insist on respect for one’s own right to life. Someone who defends his life is not guilty of murder even if he is forced to deal his aggressor a lethal blow. Nor is it necessary for salvation that a man omit the act of moderate self-defense to avoid killing the other man, since one is bound to take more care of one’s own life than of another’s.
…
The Magisterium is further explicit on this subject matter when it teaches that ‘legitimate Defence can not only be a right but grave duty for one who is responsible for the lives of others. The Defence of the common good require than an unjust aggressor be rendered unable to cause harm.
…
It must be stated clearly here that in light of the above official church statement, that the exercise of self Defence does amount to un-forgiveness, nor is it to be seen as an act of vengeance or vendetta.
…
Christians must do everything within their powers to protect their lives from being snuffed off by Satanist driven Islamic organisations. Christian communities that observe absolute pacifism have all ceased to exist, according to researchers into Christian persecution

Surely this is a call to crusade, not in the sense of an actual war, but in the sense that it is a call for one to take up his cross and defend the Church against persecution. For that is the eternal significance of crusade.
Surely this is a call for Christians to partake in the greatest act of love, that of placing your life for the lives of your brethren.
Surely this is a pristine presentation of the Christian spirit.
St. Peter tells us, “love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) For this reason, does the Christian warrior purify his own soul, when he takes up his cross, arms himself with spiritual armor and temporal weapons, and exemplifies the greatest act of love, illustrating the words of Christ:

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:3)

When the Christian warrior fights for the defense of the defenseless, and for the Faithful, he follows all of the Law of God. Christ said:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 22:37-40)

The militant defender of the Christian Faith, when he strives against the enemies of God and His Church in holy war, he loves God with all of his being. For what greater evidence of love is there, than to sacrifice not just a little, but all, that is, one’s life? The holy combatant loves God with every fiber of his being, committing himself to the first commandment of the Law of Love, “Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30)
Many will say that this commandment cannot be applied to physical warfare, but only spiritual warfare. But this is an inadequate interpretation. For when Josiah “slew all the priests of the high places,” (2 Kings 23:20), and “burned the chariots of the sun” (2 Kings 23:11), how does the Scriptures describe his glorious crusade against the pagans?

And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the Lord with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him. (2 Kings 23:25)

The command of Christ, the first and great commandment, is directly applied to holy warfare in the Scriptures, and therefore does this application apply to Christian holy war. Christ loved His Father with all of His strength, mind, heart, and soul, when “He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables.” (John 2:15)
Thus does the Christian crusader follow His Savior when he picks up a sword to defend the Christians, who are temples of the Holy Spirit, as Christ picked up a whip to defend His Father’s Temple. In the words of St. Bernard:

By all these signs the knights clearly show that they animated by the same zeal for the house of God which of old vehemently inflamed the Leader of knighthood himself, who, having his most sacred hands armed, not with a weapon, but with a whip which he had fashioned from lengths of cord, entered the temple, ousted the merchants, scattered the coins of the money changers, and overturned the chairs of the pigeon vendors, considering it totally unfitting to defile this house of prayer by such traffic.” (St. Bernard, In Praise of the New Knighthood, ch. 5, 9)

The Crusader most definitely follows the second commandment of loving one’s neighbor and one loves himself. For to love one’s self entails defending one’s self from an attacker, and so therefore to love one’s neighbor is to as well defend him from an attacker. What better way to obey this commandment, then, than to defend the Church and one’s brethren from persecution?
The Christian fighter strives with all of his being to defend his friends, carrying out the greatest form of love, “to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:3)
The Christian crusader sacrifices so much of himself, putting his life near its end, willing to give it up for the sake of Christianity, denying himself and following Christ, obeying the words of his Divine Master:

If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)

These words truly embody the ultimate spirit of the warrior: he takes up his cross, for he fights the devil with the image on which Christ destroyed the works of the devil, and he denies himself, placing himself fully on the Providence of God, “strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man” (Ephesians 3:16), and committing fully with the precept of the Apostle, glorifying “God in your body, and in your spirit,” (1 Corinthians 6:20).
So militant are these words of Christ, that one Crusader, in the time of the First Crusade, applied it to the holy war against the Muslims:

When now that time was at hand which the Lord Jesus daily points out to His faithful, especially in the Gospel, saying, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me,” a mighty agitation was carried on throughout the region of Gaul. (Its tenor was) that if anyone desired to follow the Lord zealously, with a pure heart and mind, and wished faithfully to bear the cross after him, he would no longer hesitate to take up the way of the Holy Sepulchre. (The Gesta, ed. Edward Peters)

Because the Crusader loves God with all of his being when he fights the heathens and the heretics, because he loves his neighbor, willing to fight and die in defense of him, he then follows all of the law. For on these two virtues — loving God and loving neighbor — “hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40)
The warrior and defender of Christendom, therefore, has within his heart the words of Solomon:

Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (Ecclesiastes 12:13)

Let the saints be joyful in glory;
Let them sing aloud on their beds.
Let the high praises of God be in their mouth,
And a two-edged sword in their hand,
To execute vengeance on the nations,
And punishments on the peoples;
To bind their kings with chains,
And their nobles with fetters of iron;
To execute on them the written judgment—
This honor have all His saints. (Psalm 149:5-9)

The saints are there to take up arms to destroy the heathens, and “execute judgment”. This is the truest essence of Christian militancy, the purest actions of the Faith, to unite the spirit of Orthodoxy with the sword, the Sword of Christ with sacred warfare, to fight for the path of truth and bring to flames the crooked road of falsehood. The warriors have “praises of God” in their mouths, “and a two edged sword in their mouths”, for in their spirits lies meditations upon the Law, while their hearts charge with arms to establish and defend the eternal precepts.
This is the heart of Christendom, this is the whole duty of the Church Militant, to defeat the devils with the Armor of God, and their followers with the armor of sacred combat. The crusader strikes the devil with the Sword of the Spirit, and conquers the followers of Satan with the sword of battle.
Christus vincit!

An Armed Camp?

"Kris, what do you think about this idea?  I want to bounce this off you before I go to the church's eldership ..."

And so came his idea of having armed members or a security force to watch over the church during services.  And we had a LONG discussion about the idea that it is wise to turn the church into an armed camp ...  You have to admit that with the fear and paranoia running rampant in our society right now, it is hard to argue against his idea.

Of course, this is a paranoia based on fear due to the events across the world brought on by the corrupt leadership in this world today, whom sought to remove all non-democracies throughout the Middle East and North Africa, funded and supplied those willing to overthrow those governments.  Unfortunately, they chose hard line Islamist as their allies, whom have since turned the tables on those whom originally empowered them.  No, I am not going into a political rant here - just background to the situation.

Around the world, these Islamist are now feeling empowered to move against Christians everywhere.  It really does not matter the country, it is happening.  Even in hard line China and North Korea, abortive attempts have been made!  Freer societies are of course choice pickings.  And, churches are very soft targets to move against.  The bigger the church, the greater the impact terrorist can generate.  It is numbers that count here, not ones-twosies!

Are you worried?  Go search for church attacks before you say no - the data exists, at least last week it did!  But, as I have found numerous times across the past month, someone is "cleaning" up the internet of data which would be unsavory to those in power.  Interesting, but I don't really care, my path is far different than theirs ...

Fear is the keyword here and fear is not something which comes from God, it does however lay completely in the realm of Satan.  So, when we let fear dictate our decision, no matter how good the cause - we get black eyes in the world's view.  And Jesus does not bless black eyes.

It would be well and good to desire to protect our loved ones at church ... but not by playing the fear game.  If you want an armed camp, to turn churches in to safe houses against "them" - uhm, what did you just say about your faith in God and His ability to control your days?

You are not going to die one second sooner than God designed for you.  Conversely, Jesus told his followers to arm themselves (Luke 22:36).  Depending upon your personal convictions, this can mean or not mean that you are to be armed and know how to PROTECT yourself.  Of course, you are also told not to kill (Mark 10:19) ... well actually, it is commit MURDER you are not allowed to do.  Self defense is not murder.  And let us not forget that "those whom live by the sword, die by the sword" (Matthew 26:52)  - again another twisted scripture.  If your way of life is by the sword, if you take up the sword in offensive action (as the disciple had done in this passage), then you are condemned to die that way.  Yeah, think about that one!

And now is a good time to pause and reflect on the Book of the Revelation or John's Apocalypse (depending upon your translation of the Bible).  You as a Christian, at any point in time since 31 AD +/- are guaranteed that the future is bleak and war will be waged at some point or continually against you and yours - as Satan lashes out at God and Jesus.  Hmmmm.

And, remember, I am at my heart a Hutterite.  I believe in pacifism, I believe in the sanctity of human life.  I believe that to kill someone is to remove their last possible moment of decision to repent before God, in Jesus name of course.

Yet ... when war is declared upon your friends and family, how can one not choose to defend?  Note, I did not say hunt down or strike before they become a threat to you!

In my mind, I see the solution as simple: I am often armed, not for self defense, because I want to be in God's presence and to know lasting peace.  But, to stop problems which do occur which can injure or kill my friends or family.  (You really do not want to touch my family!)  The day may come, I do not know, when I have to make that decision again - to squeeze or not - to aim high or low - to kill or not.  I have had to make that choice before and I have never killed anyone - and I would like it to stay that way.  But, would I put myself between my pastor and a jihadist?  Unfortunately, I think that answer would be yes.

Does my church need to make public or semi public decisions about being a safe house or armed?  That would only draw flies for the feast.  You do not advertise such things!

To take up arms in self defense is completely between you and God.  But, if you choose to, then by all means put in the practice to know how to use your choice of weapon!  Nothing sickens me more than seeing someone with a knife and no idea how to use it, much less a Rambo wanna-be, sigh ...  Remember that even Bear Spray will stop any and all threats (well, unless they are on meth - but then they are not likely to be threatening you!).

Sticky subject, practical subject and you have to choose wisely and for the correct reasons.  Nothing is easy but through much prayer - you will come to the correct decision.

Just like everything else in this life!  Prayer and more Prayer!  Only more is at stake here: God witness through you and His reputation ....

Dealing With Reality

Producing these blog posts has been an exercise in futility it seems.  A normal post takes me days to produce.  Why?   Because my attempts are complicated by the complete loss of my memory ... to the point of having to re-learn language again and I still daily encounter words I no longer know.  Sigh.  I am working on English now, but my Latin is gone, as are French, German, Spanish and Russian.  Occasionally I think I have the right word and come up with something wholly not understandable.  Like talking with my Spanish friend and I realize that the words I just used were Russian.  Sigh.  So, understand all posts since the beginning of October have been a struggle!

So many, and I need to emphasize MANY, have come up to me with variations of this thought:

• I never thought someone could take this
• I never thought you were capable of this
• I am overcome by your joy
• How can you have such peace?
• You have become a witness to all around you
• Incredible courage ...
• You are an inspiration

No bragging here, I am hearing this stuff daily from those I deal with  and those I only see at church weekly.

I am nothing special but make no mistake, God is blessing me - I have no idea why and I am sort of worried at what He is expecting from me when I am healed enough to live life again - if ever.

Partly, I can understand, my life view is very German or European based.  I rarely look backwards, except to kick my own butt.  I start a day not with a review of yesterday, but with an evaluation of where am I at the moment and where do I go from here?  Yeah, totally foreign to all Americans I have ever met.  I have driven managers crazy whom want to castrate me in a business meeting with: "Well, we can dwell on the mistake or we can dwell on the solution.  Are you interested in the solution?"  Yeah, that sort of takes the wind out of everyone's sails.  But, that is my internal workings, always has been.

So I see the massive failure of my body, the loss of a limb which will majorly change my life forever, but I do not dwell on the loss - but on how do I go forward from here. 

There is no courage arising from this, that is an attribute of my character He created within me.
Any inspiration is merely a reflection upon what God is capable of doing, I have nothing to do with it!
As a witness?  Uhm, just living my life, as I always have ...
Peace is because my desires have always been to walk behind Him, not in front of Him.
Joy, well, we talked about that last week.
As for opinions of me, well there are those whom are surprised and those whom do not  know me well.
And you might be amazed at what a man can take when he is not self centered in his pursuits.

People see and interpret what they want to.

I know from a past lesson, the greatest of innocence can be seen as utter evil, if the heart viewing  you is sold out to evil.  This understanding was the greatest shock of my life and remains an open wound.  One day God will deal with this, but for now - I just have to be faithful to what I know.

Someone sees a person utterly reduced physically to being completely dependent up on others, well, I hope you hop in and help them!  I know for me, those I should have been able to count on - were not there for me.  Those whom should have been able, chose not to be.  These were not my decisions, these are others decisions and God will reward them accordingly ... sigh ... and I will be expected to be there for them ... sigh ... such is our egocentric culture.

But, I have been learning to do what I can do.

When I see someone, usually elderly, with a walk or foot orientation that was similar to what I had in 2013 - I have a talk with them.  Whether they chose to see their doctor now or when their leg shatters is up to them.  I can only recommend to them from my experience.

When I hear of one in the hospital, I try to go see them.  I am limited in my ability to travel at the moment but I do try and if they are on Facebook I can message them.

And when someone wants to help me but can not ... I am to assure them that - that is fine and thank them for their best desire/effort.  Poor Swede has just been flattened for weeks and unable to help me for instance.  He feels horrible guilt because he sees my need and complete lack of support, but God does provide for me in my need.  Might not be what one would desire but it is what He provides.

When you are forced to face reality ... one must adapt, one must put all on God, one must do what one can ...  The alternative is not so desirable.

Resigning My Role

I have been the family historian now for fifty years.  It all began when my grandmother sent me a box of artifacts and some photographs which had belonged to her father and her grandfather.

They were meaningless to me, at that point in time I only knew of 10 family members still alive and most of them were ancient and not talking to each other anyway.

But I kept the stuff as a curiosity.  Later in life, I used them to pick my grandmother's brains for information about the family.

I even wrote a book on the family which people are still upset by.  Sigh, sometimes truth does not equal reality.  And in a family of liars, well, there are many stories which are pure bunk!

I got my oldest American second cousin, in California, to agree to replace me as historian.  She is pretty nice young lady and about the only one in the family whom does talk to me regularly :)  So, being nice to Kris equals you get the family goodies!  Of course this should make even more people uncontrollably angry with me!  :)\  (sometimes this family and its dysfunction really cracks me up!)

So, 12 hours of sorting postcards, pictures and notes.  Divided them up to return to whom should have them and the best of everything I am keeping for the family archive, which I will shortly be shipping off to California.

I sort of figure that with 6 majors operations in the past 1.5 years, I need to be thinking in terms of not always being around ....

Musical Saturday Morning

I heard this song while out shopping just after Christmas and I got to laughing so hard!

Do You Have Joy?

Psalm 98
If You Want Join in Your Life:

Prepare Him Room
Joy to the Earth, The Lord has come ...
Christmas was a real event in history.
But, you must make room for Jesus in your life to share in that joy.
Our souls are restless until you prepare a place for Jesus in your life.
It is your basis for eternal life.

Join The Creation Choir
As you prepare room in your life, you can know Joy.
Repeat the sounding joy...
Joy is the by-product of obedient praise.
The fruit of the Spirit is joy.
Nature is designed to praise God.
We were created to praise God.

Psalm 98:1, sing a new song, that is where you should be in your life.

Kick The  Curse To The Curb
Your reason for joy:  you are set free from the curse of sin!
Nature is under the curse due to us as well.

Remember The Creator
He is eternal.
He is the Creator.
He is the God.
He is to be the source of our joy.

He rules the world, in truth and Grace.

Something to contemplate ...


No, there is not much joy in my life across these past many years.  Yes, I have known moments of true joy but Satan seems intent upon stealing my joy and destroying me.  In response I can see within me that God has given me a spirit of gratitude - something alien to me and this has allowed me joy in the face of many disasters.

Thank you God .....

Whacked!

It was a great day Tuesday, lots of errands to run and I was able to do it!  I seem to be getting stronger daily!  And then BLAM!

Yeah, suddenly my stomach was churning, I was dizzy, my ears were aching neck and jaw pain.  Honestly, I thought I might have been poisoned or time for the big one!  And, I hoped I was about to die.

The past week has been almost intolerable.  Gaelic Girl has taken a mental nose dive again and I seem to once again be the target of her venom. I rolled the idea around in my head that she was trying to bump me off - but i had bought the burgers for the dinner and she had not been near my food.  Maybe Wendy's Gouda-bacon-cheese burger was not the winner it tasted?

Later I was able to take my blood pressure ... sigh ... worse reading in weeks: 189/116.  Not exactly good.  I had drunk about a liter of black tea, the Wendy's takeout was salty ... maybe I am just getting sensitive again.

I calmed down as best I could, even starting to feel a little better and BLAM!  She hits me with, "We need to talk ..."  That can only mean one thing - back to the idea that we have some form of relationship left after she went whack-o in 2009.  But, I am not going there, not with my blood pressure like it is!  I know she does not care about me or a relationship, I got up and went to bed.

Of course you have to realize that she has been giving it to me since Christmas, daily doses of hate, ugly looks and every thing she can do to make my life harder than it already is.  So, last night was expected, just not the level of chest pain involved.  But, hey, that is my problem remember?

Sort of reminds me of a lady whom was telling the congregation about how much she had hated her husband - for decades.  So, she had come up with the idea that she would feed him the fattest diet she could create - meals high in fats sure to kill him off faster.  It took 23 years but she got her heart attack out of him ... and she let him die rather than call emergency services even.

"But, I did not kill him, right?  I mean he cleaned his plate nightly and if he had a heart problem that was his problem."

Of course, there was utter silence and the pastor shifted his feet a few times and you know he really wanted to be on that beach in Hawaii at the time.  How do you give the church's biggest donor, the richest lady in the church, the surprise you know is coming?

"No, you did not kill him.  You murdered him in your heart 23 years ago ...  And, yes, that is sin and that is murder."

The following Monday, he escorted her to the Sheriff's Office to turn herself in - they laughed at her story and told her to go home ...  She felt vindicated, the pastor was aghast and we all went, "DOH!"  Yeah, she left the church because it was "judging" her.

And GG has ploughed through these past years doing all she can to make me have that heart attack.  I know she had been hoping I was not going to survive the series surgeries last year.  I imagine if frustrates her greatly that God is blessing me, when she wants me cursed.  So, I watch ...

God will move in His time, either taking me home or whacking her.  Personally, I vote she learn a lesson she refuses to hear.  And I need to get my act together and find a safe place in the next year.

Nose Bleed

I have had very little sleep for days, as I write this.  NO sleep on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd.  My blood pressure skyrocketed to ER levels.  Add to this the stress of being cussed out by my mother for telling her she is wrong that "THEY" are spying on her.  Then cussed out by Gaelic Girl because I was thinking of going to my mothers for a few days see if someone is hanging around - because she would have to drive me down there!  And the nose blew a gasket.

Now, I have had an ongoing nose bleed since the last surgery on the beginning of October, not a big thing just a semi-constant light flow that is irritating.  But, Monday midnight - blam!  The flood was on!  I have no idea how much blood I lost in 2.5 hours but it was enough to leave me light headed (which did help me sleep later) and freezing old.  I bleed on my blankets, my pajamas, the carpeting, the toilet, the counters!  Obviously someone was killed in my house last night - it is a sea of blood!  I was at the point of calling 911!

Then I was reminded of pinching my nose.

Well, you have to remember that I have NO memory any longer, so it was a learning exercise on where to pinch, how hard to pinch and for how long.  Monty Python sketch in progress!  LOL!

After about 10 minutes that flow of blood stopped and I was able to go back to bed after I changed out of my blood soaked clothing and bagged up that precious Hapsburg stained Kleenex ....

So, you lean forward slightly, pinch the fleshy part of your nose (or if that does not work, the top of the nose between your eyes) for about 8 to 10 minutes.  Viola!

They, Are Watching

Take a moment and read, Mark 9:42

Who is Watching You?
Little ones!  Yes, children are watching everything you do.
They watch.
They learn.
They imitate.
And they can see far more than you could ever guess!

Who Are The Little Ones?
Think:

• Children
• Those young in the faith
• The vulnerable
• The Elderly
• Those physically or mentally challenged

What is the Problem?
You tripping up little ones!
Causing them to stubble.
Others then seeing their deeds.
Becoming stumbling blocks to others.

This weekend my son and I drove down to Cabelas.  He to find a pistol, like he has any use for one!  And, I for pants which can go over my knee with the artificial leg on.  Shorts are so darn cold this time of year!

Anyway, he told me that he had been bar hopping with his girlfriend up in Bothell and ran into his old Sunday School teacher out with - hanging all over - obviously involved with a guy that is not her husband.  DOH!  Yeah,  you can't even drive 60 miles to a hold in the wall bar without someone seeing you, someone being affected by your choices in life!

She became a stumbling block, not like he not already in free fall, but she only confirmed that his choices in life were correct.

Sigh ....

When, Where, Why?
Well, as I mentioned above, everywhere you go, you are potentially being watched.
By everyone.
Everywhere.
Because they are watching you, they are judging you, they will duplicate your life or justify theirs.
All due to you and your life choices.

You have to watch your walk, in public, in private, always.
You have to control your tongue.
You have to control your emotions.

It is all summed up in one word, DISCIPLE.

How Serious is This?
Extremely!

Keep your word.
Pay all of your bills.
Do not live life by mans - culture - society.

Be an encourager.
Have a grateful heart.
Be earnest in all you do.

We are not talking about being pious, we are talking about a heart sold out to God and representing Him on this Earth.

And you can observe how many examples are out there like this.  Yet, this is just the kind of person God wants and expects in His service ...

Religionless

I finished my reading of Dietrich Bonhoeffer's, Letters From Prison.  I marked a few pages to go back to and think about after I was done.  Terms we have today in Theology really were not in wide usage in the 1940's - much less to a German in a prison awaiting death.

Religionless is one of those terms.  Bonhoeffer had seen during the war, the falling away of a people rich in Christian tradition and he had no way to describe the status of this new people other than religionless.  From April 30, 1944:

" ... What is bothering me incessantly is the question what Christianity really is, or indeed who Christ really is, for us today.  The time when people could be told everything by means of words, whether theological or pious, is over, and so is the time of inwardness and conscience - and that means the time of religion in general.  We are moving towards a completely religionless time; people as they are now simply cannot be religious any more.  Even those who honestly describe themselves as "religious" do not in the least act up to it, and so they presumably mean something quite different by "religious".
.....
Are there religionless Christians?  If religion is on a garment of Christianity - and even this garment has looked very different at different times - then what is a religionless Christianity? ... "

Of course, the issue Bonhoeffer had stumbled across was that society and culture was turning away from God and becoming atheistic.  A thought which would have confounded him mightily.  His beloved German had indeed turned from God.  Well rot starts at the top and the National Church (Lutheran), as well as, the Catholic priesthood had openly accepted National Socialism and the powers that be were more than happy to have lots of photographs taken showing the church leaders all in stiff arm salutes to Hitler.

How would you have reacted?  Your pastor, priest, bishop - what have you, is openly accepting evil in the open.  Your faith is weak because the National Church has no requirement that you have any faith in God what so ever.  Yeah, you are going to abandon that faith and stay home from now on - you become religionless aka an atheist.

Bonhoeffer's predecessor at the head of the Church, Karl Barth, had noticed this falling away as well, but had no solution.  The people had fallen into secularism, they needed to be called back into the congregations ... but ... outside of saying they needed to be restored, there was no wisdom passed on.

Today, we see this problem clearly.  We understand that it is the Holy Spirit's responsibility to call people as well as call them back in the event they fall.  But just as in Bonhoeffer's day, we see that "faithful" using God as nothing more than the impersonal "deus ex machina" - the problem solver to save our bacon when we go astray, foul up, we have no other options to fix the problem ...

Of course, God is the best problem solver, He is even better at helping  you avoid those problems in the first place as well - but that requires a personal relationship with Him, not a superficial one!  And well, mankind anymore seems to think a superficial relationship is just fine.  God exists to serve man and his desires.

So, it seems that the ultimate end to the problem Barth and Bonhoeffer saw 70 years ago is not a drawing back of the believer but rather paganism.  We now create gods to be what we want, that serve us, deride those whom are not willing to do so and go our merry way - ignore those whom care about us and desire to turn us back to the one true God.

Yeah, my reading of Bonhoeffer this time really cleared up the very same questions for me as well - only this time I could see the parallel as well as the ultimate goal Evil has brought mankind to.  And I will address this next month ... lots more thinking to do!

Musical Saturday Morning

Another repeat from the 1980's, yet a message so terribly needed today.

Happy New Year

Thank God that 2015 is over!  What a year it was!  Things were looking up as 2014 closed, so I thought I would go back to 2014 and see what I wrote there and compare that to the personal tragedy of 2015.

I started and ended with Thoughts From The Little Apple, there really was no reason to read elsewhere - one single post said it all.  And it sobered me up rather brutally as I remembered that spring 1.5 years ago - things were horrible, the future had the possibility of happiness, I was not exactly comfortable with either.

I clicked on the video for Fade Away and as the scratchy voice in the speakers sang his song, I read May 9th, 2014's post - the only one I needed to read (link above).  How things have changed.

My communication guy got a little to personal and I had to fire him.  But, his observations were none the less on target and proven over the year's end: I actually had no friends - ever it seemed.

I was just a convenience when no other distraction was around - and too dumb to know it.

God continued his remodeling of me and took me through what is probably the last of the changes needed for Kris to become human.  He taught me about sin and pride more in-depth, He told me of more betrayals than I could handle, He showed me how stupid I was even in my brilliance and understanding - I actually knew nothing.  It was a broken man whom left 2014.  Yeah, human in form, undeveloped in most areas but devastated by the changes.  And no one to turn to for help, save for God - but sometimes you just need someone that is flesh and blood to talk to or even hold on to for that matter.

I was indeed a cosmic comic joke to all.

And the verbage surrounding the May 10th posting, was so highly accurate - outright prophetic.  Sigh ...  It was truly the basis of fading away the old blog and my life.

The rest of 2014 did not exactly go as planned or expected either, how could it?  God had destined to break me - and He did - through a betrayal I still struggle with.  If ... there is no way to describe being so completely caught off guard!

Consider what God has to say about those whom betray us:

Psalms 140:2 
Who devise evil things in their hearts; They continually stir up wars.
3 They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; Poison of a viper is under their lips. Selah.
4 Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; Preserve me from violent men Who have purposed to trip up my feet.…

Romans 3:13
"Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit." "The poison of vipers is on their lips."

James 3:8
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Psalm 10:7
His mouth is full of lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue.

Psalm 58:4
Their venom is like the venom of a snake, like that of a cobra that has stopped its ears,

Yeah, I came into 2015 rather deflated as well as defeated.  But, as we know, the worse was still ahead of me.  By October, I was broken mentally, spiritually, physically - and what existed of my new emotions were trashed as well.  And, whether a blessing or not, the complete loss of almost all prior memories to October 17th - now at month 3 and not remembering a darn thing!  Oh I have been picking up random pieces, just enough to feel pain at things I stumble across - alas no knowledge of anything!  Including my old profession.

So, I leave the year knowing I am now brain damaged to some unknown extent - though the brain seems to still work well enough, I think. Heck, what do I know?  Not darn much past 10/17 ... sigh.

And as if in a last minute, God granted me the recovery of what is important to me (no not my mind!) and gave me a peace which has been long gone.   You have no idea how grateful I am for this!

And as for 2016 ... where will it take me?  What is to come?  I have no idea but I still am in full anticipation of being back on the path to ruin by 2017 ....  Sigh ... snakes!  But, if my heart can last, I will come through this the better man in the end ... :)