When mother became a Southern Baptist, note I did not say Christian, my high school friends and I were forced into go to Christmas Eve services. The service was generally meaningless to all of us, but the cookies afterwards were great! My family really did not have any Christmas traditions - except present opening on Christmas day - and then only presents from "Santa". Well atheistic Jewish family, what can you expect?
After I became a Christian, I really had no tradition to observe. What I know of Christmas I learned from Gaelic Girl, to whom Christmas was very meaningful and to be celebrated. My first Christmas tree was a sage brush - too poor to buy a tree and it was a nice tumbleweed after all. I found some small - blueberry - sized ornaments and decorated it. When GG saw it, she was under whelmed, but to this day it is still my favorite tree and Christmas.
Today, post children, all of the kids gather and I cook something they demand. Of course, this year I am unable to do the kitchen routine, so oldest daughter will be playing chef! :) I get to skate on this meal - no hassles and only advice to offer. Yeah, I am sure I will get yelled at, but hey ...!
So from the chaos which will be my home this day, may I wish for you a Merry Christmas - and a time of Peace.
December 24, 2015
December 23, 2015
Off The Charts
Remember that I am writing this earlier in the month!
I have an at home visiting nurse. They wrote themselves out of my life today. At only 7 weeks, I am actually fully healed from the surgeries and two klutzy moves which required medical attention - sigh. The last nurse, whom does amputees, said that it really makes no sense - no one heals this fast nor with utter lack of attitude I display!
Wow! I can only attribute this to God. I know I am trying to eat right, keep the carb numbers low (6.1) and do what exercising I can. Beyond that it is up to God to pull me through this. It appears He has.
Months ahead of the normal path, my physical therapist told the prosthesis guy to get my leg ready because physically I was ready for it. I think she caught him unaware - LOL! :) No one is ready two months after amputation to walk again - so they are all telling me. Walk without support I did!
So at day two with my artificial leg, I was walking without support! And everyone is freaked out!
God is good - and though i deserve no consideration nor blessing - He is. It makes one wonder at what the future holds that God moves so dramatically in my "life".
It makes me think of Elisha and wonder if I will end up in a cave at some point trying to hide because God has asked too much!
But for now, I am just blown away at how I have from my foot blowing up like a balloon - and about just as fast - to awaking to a question of any future - to an accelerated healing curve. Sure not going to complain! :)
Now how about that future ..... ???????
I have an at home visiting nurse. They wrote themselves out of my life today. At only 7 weeks, I am actually fully healed from the surgeries and two klutzy moves which required medical attention - sigh. The last nurse, whom does amputees, said that it really makes no sense - no one heals this fast nor with utter lack of attitude I display!
Wow! I can only attribute this to God. I know I am trying to eat right, keep the carb numbers low (6.1) and do what exercising I can. Beyond that it is up to God to pull me through this. It appears He has.
Months ahead of the normal path, my physical therapist told the prosthesis guy to get my leg ready because physically I was ready for it. I think she caught him unaware - LOL! :) No one is ready two months after amputation to walk again - so they are all telling me. Walk without support I did!
So at day two with my artificial leg, I was walking without support! And everyone is freaked out!
God is good - and though i deserve no consideration nor blessing - He is. It makes one wonder at what the future holds that God moves so dramatically in my "life".
It makes me think of Elisha and wonder if I will end up in a cave at some point trying to hide because God has asked too much!
But for now, I am just blown away at how I have from my foot blowing up like a balloon - and about just as fast - to awaking to a question of any future - to an accelerated healing curve. Sure not going to complain! :)
Now how about that future ..... ???????
December 22, 2015
Best Christmas Present Ever
So, I have been working with a guy for the past month whom builds artificial legs and feet. No, like most craftsmen, he does not seem capable of building what is asked for - he builds what he believes you need. So I got the prototype on Friday. I know it is only temporary but still I had to wear it, and stand and walk with assistance.
The first thing I did was stand up - slowly! - and take a picture. Two feet under me, a sight I have not been able to see sincethe beginning of October!
I gently took that first step holding on to a walker, and then another, and another, until I was all of the way across the room. No problems. As soon as the overly safety conscious builder was out of sight - I took two tentative steps without the walker.
By Wednesday, I was walking without any support at all! I am more comfortable holding onto the walker, or a shopping cart, or most anything! But, I can do it!
Mind you I can only wear the device one hour out of three, and then only walk on it for five minutes - but I can! I can experience the freedom of movement, more or less. Still can not drive and often I have to pull the leg off just to get into the vehicle! But, hey, it goes back on when we get where we are going!
It is only a prototype leg, I still have to wait for the real one, but for now I can walk around and the joy which overcomes me is akin to the only other joy I have ever known in my life - but I am happy now and not going to dwell on the past! So, yes, I am overcome with joy. :)
But, my feelings of joy over this would not be complete without Satan pulling out all of the stops to completely and utterly trash me in the following days. Yeah, I refuse to play that game. I am simply not going to give any of my joy to up to "it" to mock me with. Which of course sends "it"s representative in my life through the roof - when ever we cross paths. Apparently I am not allowed to know joy in their book - and yet another issue as to why God continues to blesses me - since I am so unworthy in their book. :)
I can hardly wait to see how long I can stand and walk come the New Year!
And then there is that antique show in February ... perhaps I do not need to cancel it?
I gently took that first step holding on to a walker, and then another, and another, until I was all of the way across the room. No problems. As soon as the overly safety conscious builder was out of sight - I took two tentative steps without the walker.
By Wednesday, I was walking without any support at all! I am more comfortable holding onto the walker, or a shopping cart, or most anything! But, I can do it!
Mind you I can only wear the device one hour out of three, and then only walk on it for five minutes - but I can! I can experience the freedom of movement, more or less. Still can not drive and often I have to pull the leg off just to get into the vehicle! But, hey, it goes back on when we get where we are going!
It is only a prototype leg, I still have to wait for the real one, but for now I can walk around and the joy which overcomes me is akin to the only other joy I have ever known in my life - but I am happy now and not going to dwell on the past! So, yes, I am overcome with joy. :)
But, my feelings of joy over this would not be complete without Satan pulling out all of the stops to completely and utterly trash me in the following days. Yeah, I refuse to play that game. I am simply not going to give any of my joy to up to "it" to mock me with. Which of course sends "it"s representative in my life through the roof - when ever we cross paths. Apparently I am not allowed to know joy in their book - and yet another issue as to why God continues to blesses me - since I am so unworthy in their book. :)
I can hardly wait to see how long I can stand and walk come the New Year!
And then there is that antique show in February ... perhaps I do not need to cancel it?
December 21, 2015
There Are No Dreams
Someone once wrote,
"In dreams begins responsibility.
So too, perhaps, with love.
Without dreams, without the hope of a better life, a brighter future, it is difficult for love to flourish.
And without love ... there are no dreams."
I had lunch with my mother. It is always hard even talking with her, much less being around her. A very long history - both ways. One time Gaelic Girl was hammering me over my issues with my mother and she got to experience one of the very few times I have ever gotten angry. I actually told her what the problem is between us - she never brought it up again. Yeah, we are talking beyond the pale of acceptable behavior on my mother's part. As for my mother, she would have preferred I had been a girl and could have tea parties with me and "discuss" what p.o.c.'s men are.
Years later, I was having lunch with my uncle and he was talking about my father. Well, yeah, we know there are a few issues there! ... sigh ... And I commented that I was highly unhappy with having figured out what a major issue existed between my grandmother, mother and father - and I did not approve in the least! Then he, in his anger, told me something about my mother I had never even heard whispered in the family ... it explained all of it! I was and still am surprised I could not have figured this out on my own!
Selective blindness I guess. So, now I cut her slack because I now understand that brokenness in her. No there is nothing I can do - except ignore that anger in her constantly.
Tuesday, we sat there, yakking over Chinese food and she went off on her usual tirade of "they" and/or "them" are constantly vexing her. It is so predictable, so frustrating, so unimportant. Literally, the Earth will not stop rotating on its axis over any of it. And it irritates me, like sandpaper wearing away what protects her from the old me - still laying deeply dormant - never to be seen again I pray.
And I thought of that quote, of perhaps 20 or 30 years ago ...
She, perhaps all of us, desire to live in a dream. Dreams are comforting, they are fun, they are usually familiar and we are secure in them. Then with dreams we are allowed to love, to be transparent, to be vulnerable, to truly love and be loved - the desire of all mankind ...
I have always dreamed, in Techna-Color, usually as the hero saving someone - Bond, James Bond - if you please! But since becoming human, there is only one dream and no other, repeated every night. Some might call it obsessive, but it is just pain expressing itself over and over again, because I can not understand. Well perhaps one day to dream a resolution. And since I can dream, I find I can try and love my mother. It is not easy. Love to her means something entirely different than to me. And perhaps one day there can be healing between us.
"In dreams begins responsibility.
So too, perhaps, with love.
Without dreams, without the hope of a better life, a brighter future, it is difficult for love to flourish.
And without love ... there are no dreams."
I had lunch with my mother. It is always hard even talking with her, much less being around her. A very long history - both ways. One time Gaelic Girl was hammering me over my issues with my mother and she got to experience one of the very few times I have ever gotten angry. I actually told her what the problem is between us - she never brought it up again. Yeah, we are talking beyond the pale of acceptable behavior on my mother's part. As for my mother, she would have preferred I had been a girl and could have tea parties with me and "discuss" what p.o.c.'s men are.
Years later, I was having lunch with my uncle and he was talking about my father. Well, yeah, we know there are a few issues there! ... sigh ... And I commented that I was highly unhappy with having figured out what a major issue existed between my grandmother, mother and father - and I did not approve in the least! Then he, in his anger, told me something about my mother I had never even heard whispered in the family ... it explained all of it! I was and still am surprised I could not have figured this out on my own!
Selective blindness I guess. So, now I cut her slack because I now understand that brokenness in her. No there is nothing I can do - except ignore that anger in her constantly.
Tuesday, we sat there, yakking over Chinese food and she went off on her usual tirade of "they" and/or "them" are constantly vexing her. It is so predictable, so frustrating, so unimportant. Literally, the Earth will not stop rotating on its axis over any of it. And it irritates me, like sandpaper wearing away what protects her from the old me - still laying deeply dormant - never to be seen again I pray.
And I thought of that quote, of perhaps 20 or 30 years ago ...
She, perhaps all of us, desire to live in a dream. Dreams are comforting, they are fun, they are usually familiar and we are secure in them. Then with dreams we are allowed to love, to be transparent, to be vulnerable, to truly love and be loved - the desire of all mankind ...
I have always dreamed, in Techna-Color, usually as the hero saving someone - Bond, James Bond - if you please! But since becoming human, there is only one dream and no other, repeated every night. Some might call it obsessive, but it is just pain expressing itself over and over again, because I can not understand. Well perhaps one day to dream a resolution. And since I can dream, I find I can try and love my mother. It is not easy. Love to her means something entirely different than to me. And perhaps one day there can be healing between us.
December 19, 2015
Musical Saturady Morning
A little early for Christmas so just something for a little fun as we get ready for the season.
December 18, 2015
Hi Kris
One of the men in the church came over and took me out to breakfast. We ended up going to a place over in SeaTac called, The Pancake Chef. Many decades ago, I knew the guy whom had started this business and had worked with his daughter, through the church youth program. So, I was interested to find out whom was still there 35 years later!
Well, he retired, the daughter appears to run the place and the food was excellent!
"Hi Kris", said the perky voice of a waitress as she passed by. Uhmmmmmmm ..... ?
We were seated and the perky waitress passed by again, "Hi Kris".
Once I was finally able to stop her, I explained about the complete loss of my memory and that she seemed to know me, but I had no clue whom she was!
"Am I supposed to know you?", I asked.
She laughed and explained that she heard Dave say my name when we came in and that no, I was not expected to know her.
We had a great laugh over that one! Whew! I had no idea whom she was, still do not!, but it was weird having someone know your name when you are so utterly clueless.
The next day, we went to Claim Jumpers, in Tukwila and the waitress also knew me! I have no idea how or why - she even knew my favorite drink (ice tea, no lemon) and that I needed a pitcher because I would put that amount away! But, I did not want to go through the whole - who are you routine again! So, just let it slide. Unfortunately, it is now midnight as I type this and I am totally strung out on caffeine because of her!
At least, I do know all of the entire staff at my favorite Mexican cantina - and they me. Even to the point of letting me know they did not approve when I came in with the lady from the concert, I knew from decades ago! They really did not think she was quite what I needed in my life! Oh gosh, I was laughing so hard on the inside! Very protective of me. Well, in a way I am extended family - I know their hometowns, often talking about what is new in Jalisco or Chihuahua and I love their food. And they are good people :)
Well, he retired, the daughter appears to run the place and the food was excellent!
"Hi Kris", said the perky voice of a waitress as she passed by. Uhmmmmmmm ..... ?
We were seated and the perky waitress passed by again, "Hi Kris".
Once I was finally able to stop her, I explained about the complete loss of my memory and that she seemed to know me, but I had no clue whom she was!
"Am I supposed to know you?", I asked.
She laughed and explained that she heard Dave say my name when we came in and that no, I was not expected to know her.
We had a great laugh over that one! Whew! I had no idea whom she was, still do not!, but it was weird having someone know your name when you are so utterly clueless.
The next day, we went to Claim Jumpers, in Tukwila and the waitress also knew me! I have no idea how or why - she even knew my favorite drink (ice tea, no lemon) and that I needed a pitcher because I would put that amount away! But, I did not want to go through the whole - who are you routine again! So, just let it slide. Unfortunately, it is now midnight as I type this and I am totally strung out on caffeine because of her!
At least, I do know all of the entire staff at my favorite Mexican cantina - and they me. Even to the point of letting me know they did not approve when I came in with the lady from the concert, I knew from decades ago! They really did not think she was quite what I needed in my life! Oh gosh, I was laughing so hard on the inside! Very protective of me. Well, in a way I am extended family - I know their hometowns, often talking about what is new in Jalisco or Chihuahua and I love their food. And they are good people :)
December 17, 2015
Christmas Concert
So, a Hutterite walks into a United Church of Christ, sounds like a bad joke in the making but they were the only one offering a Christmas concert I could find ....
Of course, I am one legged, using a kneeling cart to approach the church - and I figured it was in the basement as this was brightly lit. Nope, it was up a series of stairs which rose perhaps 60 feet up a hillside to the second level of the church! OMG! Really?
But, a little old lady tugged on my sleeve and told me there was a hidden elevator and then escorted all the way into the sanctuary! Another instance of a little old lady helping an Eagle Scout! LOL ...
The concert was made up of instrumentals and lots of singing. But something was really wrong here!
The first song was Silent Night, in German - and since I have been slowly relearning my German - since the last surgery - I was ready to sing along! Only, it took me a few moments to realize that she did not speak German - but spoke French and every word was pronounced as though it was a French word! So, just cut off pronunciation of the last two letters of every word and then slur them because you have to do the "quiver" in your voice! (pick any song and try this, it is hilarious!) I have no idea why people sing like that - no one can understand a single word when you do! And about half a dozen vocals were done that way! ARGH!
There was flute playing and bell ring and several choirs. And during the bell ringing, standing up there was someone I knew! One of "my kids" from 30 years ago! What the heck? This is one small world! She did see me as the crowd was thinning out and she was putting her bells away - oh how she exploded in a smile, ran down the aisle and threw herself on me! Sure glad I was still seated! We ended up going out for a late dinner and talked perhaps four hours, or so. From a humanistic viewpoint, she has done well for herself. Spiritually, well ...
But, as I have thought on this concert last Sunday, I realized there was a huge problem with it - not a single song used the name Jesus, Son of God, nor God for that matter! Lots of songs about angels though and anytime those unpopular names might appear - a piano solo kicked in. EEPAH!
So, I guess that sums up the UCC church nicely - a social club were God is not welcome, nor advertised. I was sorry to see that. My beloved Uncle Leonard was a UCC member - but he was the definition of a Godly man - so they must have changed since his day. Or, perhaps, it was the only church in his town. Sigh ...
Jesus is the only reason for this season we celebrate. Without Him, well, all you have is feel good-ism, gifts and fractured family gatherings. Not a Christmas I would care to celebrate.
Of course, I am one legged, using a kneeling cart to approach the church - and I figured it was in the basement as this was brightly lit. Nope, it was up a series of stairs which rose perhaps 60 feet up a hillside to the second level of the church! OMG! Really?
But, a little old lady tugged on my sleeve and told me there was a hidden elevator and then escorted all the way into the sanctuary! Another instance of a little old lady helping an Eagle Scout! LOL ...
The concert was made up of instrumentals and lots of singing. But something was really wrong here!
The first song was Silent Night, in German - and since I have been slowly relearning my German - since the last surgery - I was ready to sing along! Only, it took me a few moments to realize that she did not speak German - but spoke French and every word was pronounced as though it was a French word! So, just cut off pronunciation of the last two letters of every word and then slur them because you have to do the "quiver" in your voice! (pick any song and try this, it is hilarious!) I have no idea why people sing like that - no one can understand a single word when you do! And about half a dozen vocals were done that way! ARGH!
There was flute playing and bell ring and several choirs. And during the bell ringing, standing up there was someone I knew! One of "my kids" from 30 years ago! What the heck? This is one small world! She did see me as the crowd was thinning out and she was putting her bells away - oh how she exploded in a smile, ran down the aisle and threw herself on me! Sure glad I was still seated! We ended up going out for a late dinner and talked perhaps four hours, or so. From a humanistic viewpoint, she has done well for herself. Spiritually, well ...
But, as I have thought on this concert last Sunday, I realized there was a huge problem with it - not a single song used the name Jesus, Son of God, nor God for that matter! Lots of songs about angels though and anytime those unpopular names might appear - a piano solo kicked in. EEPAH!
So, I guess that sums up the UCC church nicely - a social club were God is not welcome, nor advertised. I was sorry to see that. My beloved Uncle Leonard was a UCC member - but he was the definition of a Godly man - so they must have changed since his day. Or, perhaps, it was the only church in his town. Sigh ...
Jesus is the only reason for this season we celebrate. Without Him, well, all you have is feel good-ism, gifts and fractured family gatherings. Not a Christmas I would care to celebrate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)