Back To The Past

When I travel, I always go to a church to attend services, I like seeing what other churches are doing or not doing.

Back in the 1970's, I went to a church called Applewood Baptist.  I really liked the pastor, his teachings really talked to me.  Unfortunately, he died - I think it was kidney failure which got him and the dialysis was rejected by his body.  He was an awesome man.

So, it is Sunday morning, I am in Golden, only a few miles from Applewood - so why not?

Now, I am back in my leg cast due to a fall earlier in the week and feeling not real sociable.  So, I sat in the back and hoped I would just be ignored.  Alas that was not to be.  There were several of us in casts, on crutches, etc all congregated across the back row of the building.  And everyone, including their mother had to shake our hands.  Luckily, no one wanted to talk - I really was not up to talking to anyone.  Maybe with caffeine I could have felt friendlier.

It was nice singing real songs for a change, not chants and vain repetitions over and over again as my church does.  The pastor was quite good and it refreshed me to know that Applewood had a real Christian in the pulpit.

As I looked around I noted a few I was almost positive I knew from the old days.  And then I saw Kay!  Kay was someone, anyone would remember.  Model material but refusing to play the world's games.  She was a  delight to talk with back in the day.  And then I realized, she would have to be 40 years older!  I looked closer and it was Kay, no mistake there!  So this must have been Kay's daughter.  I looked all over to see if Kay or her husband Kim were there but no sign of either.  Well, it was Labor Day weekend after all - last chance for a long weekend before Thanksgiving!

No, I did not go and renew any acquaintances, that was not why I came.  I already knew by the last Sunday of my trip that my life was over as I have known it for 40 years - there is a new path forming under my feet.  I just have NO idea where it leads or for what purpose.

Before I took this trip, I called my sister.  I explained to her, as best I could, since she is not a Christian, where I find myself these days.  The loss of friends, family, extended family, everything.  And I had one question for her, "Am I turning into my father?".

Sommer, sometimes has amazing insights and though she may not know me well any longer, she did know father far better than me.  She was quiet for a minute and then said quietly, "Well, whatever father was or did with his life, no one could ever argue that he did not enjoy himself ....".

True enough.  Of course being a full blown sociopath, he never would have looked backwards and ever worried about what he had done or where he was or where he was going.  Life was a grand adventure, for his enjoyment alone, such is the sociopath.  Sigh. 

And, I no longer am that man for God shattered that path beneath my feet.

So, although Sunday did not exactly go as planned for me, the morning started off well.