Anger

(re-reading this several days later - and oh my gosh!  You would not realize that English is my third language!  Oh heavens!  My apologies!  I hope I get it cleaned up correctly this time!)

I have one area of sin I am victim to: pride.
It is subtle.
It is when I put myself ahead of God in what I am doing..
It is never observed until I find I have been tripped up by Satan.
Then, well, yeah, I have to repent and try harder for no new next time.

I do not talk about my pre-Christian life, there is very little to say of any value to anyone.
I was quite simply the most violent person you have never been able to even imagine.
Sorry, Hollywood is not going to be able to help you here.
Killer Elite, came even close to the level of violence I am referring to here.
And violence was triggered back then by my reaction of anger.  Note: not an emotion of anger.
Emotional anger is consuming until it is vented.
Reactionary anger is there, then it is not, it has a trigger, it is not a force.
And that trigger has always been injustice for me.

Show me an injustice, I will show you a victim in the making.  Pure and simple.
And that was how my private life and early military experience went.
And the US Government was happy then, but just wait until my book is published !!!!!

I mentioned across the past weeks that Satan has been banging on me like there is no tomorrow! 
And I could not figure out why.
Then I had a day straight out of the Twilight Zone.
Everything was weird, nothing normal was happening, and I realized - in time - Satan was trying to get me to react in anger to all that was befallen me.
Now understanding, I was able to succeed in putting this behind me.
I was not going to be falling prey to anger again, and the past it drags forward each time.

(Yeah, later Satan nailed me with Pride yet again ... sigh ... start over, AGAIN!)

So last week I was at an awards presentation for some Christian kids - and - well - all @#$% was to break lose over the disappointment expressed by some.  In fact it grew into a mini riot as 20 kids started trashing things!  Really?  And ANGER rose up in me and I exploded.

I hit a table so hard that kids, heck parents, all sat down instantly and there was utter quiet.  And, none to quietly I lashed out at them with a lecture concerning respect ...

I hear myself talking, but it is not me, hearing words I can remember from my discipleship back in the Hutterite Community and I can see that I am angry but it is not a bad anger that is going to lead to sin - it is ultimately calling the kids and adults to repent.

Two verses came to mind and I covered them in-depth, how they affected themselves, how they were damaging others and in violation of Jesus direct words .....

Mark 12:31

³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Luke 6:31

³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

The easiest summation is that if you do not respect yourself, you will never be able to respect others.
If you can not show respect to others, no one will ever respect you.
The Christian life you are called to is to put the other first - not you.  Nothing in life is about you!

Utter silence followed ...

Then an 8th grade girl says, "Do you mean to tell me that life is about my being able to put others before me and my wants and desires?"

She turns and looks that the others, "Is that stupidest thing you have ever heard or what?"

And all went their way.

So, I went out of my way to contact this group and see where they were a day later.
Averted eyes, very quiet, respectful.

Hmmmm, so there is a kind of anger which is good, if used by God to call His own into account.

Cool ...