As I sit here typing this, you have to remember that my life began on October 17. There is nothing before the 17th - all lost to some form of amnesia from the multiple surgeries. I do have a few random pieces but nothing like a 60 year old life one could reference! Across the two weeks since, I have been asking questions and trying to rebuild piece by piece, something that makes sense. But, how does one ask what one has no clue concerning?
Across the weekend, I had dreams. Dreams of things never imagined. Dreams of things that angered me, shamed me, humiliated me to even think in such a manner! Are they real memories? No idea ...
The first time this happened the dream was about my first girl friend, name currently lost, whom seemed to have caused a gigantic rift in my parents family. So great was the rift, I was forced to leave home at the end of school and rarely return even for a visit. So great was the rift, I was awaken in a very agitated state! Which set off the alarms and I was then knocked out for the rest of the night - but my mind remembered and thought on this.
Other situations, other people all followed on other nights. The variety of which makes me wonder if they are not real memories my subconscious is mining to try and tell me something. If so, well, I do not like old me very much. No, again I am not sure of any real detail - just enough to maybe ask questions to learn more - or to let the past just remain dead to this new me. I might have more mental stability this way ...
I hope by not dwelling on this, they will fade away - perhaps again? - and allow me to be me, unencumbered by memories, shattered hopes and dreams. God seems to have given me quite a special gift ...
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