Thinking of My Sister

So my one surviving sibling turns 60.  So hard to believe, I wonder how she has evaluated her life?  I mean, do you ever take stock in your life and wonder?  And so, I wonder the same for her.

She was close to the only friend I had from pre-school through Junior High age - the curse of being a bi-directional NATO brat (Germany Navy in the US, then the USAF in Germany!).  So, we were close - and we continue to be.  We text each other at least once a week and then it is likely to be long, hilarious (thanks to auto-correct) conversations about the public, antiques and the desire to leave Minneapolis.

I can not put myself in her place.  Her husband has been fighting cancer for five years; he is current in good shape.  He is a work-aholic, his life spent in international finance - think VISA, MasterCard, etc.  So he travels a bit every year.

I can put myself in his place though: cancer survivor, career over, even hobby interests lost due to health.  Yeah, it has an impact.  He throws himself into work.  I can understand that too - they lost their life's savings in a stock market crash.

Facing retirement, living antique show to antique show, because his paychecks often do not clear ...  It has to take a toll.

I want to drive east to see her this fall perhaps.

And last night, I remembered a few things.  Carmen and Nicky reappeared in my memories, my abducted little sister and brother, albeit, they were teenagers when it happened in two separate events.  And then there was Jeff ... and his foolish death.  Then I remembered Bernard and his execution - his killer FINALLY being found guilty for crimes against humanity almost two decades later.  Of course in Holland that means a few years of eating a high fat diet before being shuffled off to some location to hide for the rest of his remaining life ...  (Just remember Radik,  you can run but you can never hide forever ;)  God will hold you accountable.)

And my sister does not hold that any of the relatives I have mentioned are.  They had other mothers, they were from parts of the family which were not spoken of (the Swiss side!), they were not the same as us.  Admittedly, she actively hated Carmen and Nicky, their mother had been my mother's best friend!, ignored Jeff altogether - another mother yet again.  Nicky and I were "buds" since he was in diapers.  Admittedly, Carmen was a pain in the royal #$%. but then again she was in her early teen years - which over rode any other memories I have of her.  I used to babysit Jeff and watched disapprovingly over Carmen (LOL).  My sister never wanted to know her grandparents, nor the aunts and uncle in Switzerland.  I did,

So, my sister has a limited pool to pick from for long term friends and family.  Outside of my mother (sometimes) and me, that is all of the family in America she will deal with - well one of my daughters too.  Scratch the Swiss side, so three relatives to deal with.  And only one friend - from high school, has stayed in her life.

I would be depressed if this was all I had.

But my self appraisal starts with the children I have led to the Lord, those whom I showed the real God to.  Grandchildren to share with and tell about the "old"ways from my little village in the Pfaltz.  The people whose memory I carry in my heart, whom came before and I am just relearning off (thank you stinking amnesia for robbing me of everything!).  My Dutch Uncle she barely knew.

Rereading this ... now I have to wonder about my sister.  What broke her so badly?  Father's divorces?  Mother's venom?  Or drugs?  Having an older brother?  LOL.  No idea.   But, I will think on this ...