Going Ons

I write posts when I get the whim.  Usually, that may mean several days worth at a time, or perhaps a special post days or weeks, even months ahead of time.  When I got back from Colorado, I went on a writing spree which carried me all of the way into last week!  But, now it has been harder to post, my stash of written material consumed and little has happened in my life other than utter collapse from illness.

Shortly after my return from Colorado, I got a tiny, insignificant scratch on my partial leg.  I kept it completely clean, sprayed with Bactine, slathered in Neosporin, bandaged ... and it got infected almost instantly!  So, I switched to Polysporin and that was the last of me, I was turned back into Infectious Disease.  Darn Staph infection had gotten me - yet again!  Weeks of antibiotics, burning up with fever - still am, and my leg ballooned up massively - still is!  Five weeks of my life now wasted.  If I could concentrate, I could read, but I might be able to do five pages and then I am drifting off yet again.  Yesterday and today I am doing much better but nowhere near healed at all.  So back to the hospital for more tests later this week!  Sigh ...

I think I wrote about the disaster in Tucson earlier - but if I stop to reread to find out, well there will be no post for today!  As all of the dust has been settling, it appears I get to drive down in August or September to work on settling the estate.  What a trip that will get to be - I hate heat and driving!  But, it needs to be done and perhaps I can catch some metal detecting going to and from?  Not a trip I look forward to, the loss of so close a friend.  How I loved that man!  How I mourn my loss.  His widow sent me his Navajo silver belt buckle I had made for him several decades ago.  To see the buckle is to know he wore it daily!  And I guess this fall I will make myself a belt to wear it with, in his memory.  Not really my style of dress but ...

As I am back to having to roam around without my leg for the first time, I have been having an interesting time watching people's reactions.

There are three kinds of people:
Those whom are offended by my zooming around a store on my scooter, sans leg.
Those whom totally ignore me, even go out of their way to avoid me!
Those whom ask if they can help you reach something on a shelf, assistance to the car, etc.

Amongst the last group are:
Extremely few men!
Those men whom ask to help, are in their twenties or younger!
Females whom offer assistance, are mostly aged and whom I would have offered to help!
Those females whom are not aged ... have posed a bit of problem.

So, perhaps 15% of females whom offer to help me, do something, are in the under 30 year old crowd.
These females, a small percentage, are by and large oddly friendly.
Originally I thought it was my imagination.
But, then I thought it was perhaps a motherly instinct.
And then, due to some aggression on the part of a few, I began to see this as a problem of theirs.
Or is it just that an amputee has some weird mystic draw?
Too weird.
But, even if I was interested, as I have sworn long ago, I will never ever trust an unknown female ever again ...

So, I found that by going to the store during the morning, I can avoid this under 30 crowd!
Of course, by going in the morning - then I must contend with all of the small children out shopping with their mothers and they are drawn to my condition like moths!  And, they love to ask questions and comment!  It really is quite funny - almost as good as their appalled mothers' reactions.

And by going in the morning, I also find myself encountering numerous other amputees!
Yesterday was a woman whom also had lost her leg and wanted to talk.
So, I did.
Nice lady, still in shock and denial at one year.
With a customized Seahawk's leg shell ... bleech!  Whatever.
But, it was nice to see others going through the same things.

She was an exception.
Most are very unpleasant people - hurting and having no answers.
Not wanting to find any either ...

And, it is driven home to me - that in the hopelessness of this condition, I still have hope.
And I do not understand it.
I suppose this is the hope in the justice-forgiveness-equity of God.
It is beyond my limited understanding, since I am still with no memory.
So, I accept that it is true and God will do something ...