State Fair

When I was a kid, my favorite uncle taught me a song along the lines of:
"I went to animal fair,
The birds and bees were there ....."

Yeah, it was an - uhm - "interesting" fair.

We could start with the pair of perhaps 9th graders whom thought that hitting on a 60 year old man was smart.  Let's see: over 60, limping heavily with a cane - as I am just relearning to walk this past week - again!, and though not known by them - I am badly broken.  Oh yeah, everybody wants a piece of this ...  I have no doubt this less than innocent pair managed to find the older man to make the three-some they were looking for!  Just sickening!

And then there was the perhaps 17 year old group, stoned out of their minds!  One of the young women so far gone she did not even know what clothing she was missing!  And was growing less by the moment!  A female officer caught up with her at the Young Life concession booth, covered her and walked her off to the Paramedic station - with all of her stoner friends standing around going, "Oh man, we were just having fun.  What are we supposed to do now ...?"  Sigh ...

I had a 78 year old lady try to pick my pocket!  Well, I was stunned!  I learned as a youth in France that one's wallet goes in your front pocket, not your back!  So, she waddled off with a hurting hand - you do not stick your hands in strange man's back pockets!  She did this so quickly that she was obvious a long time pro!  I thought about holding that hand and turning her in ... but a bruise would work just as well at ending her crime spree for a few days ...  Yeah, she was unhappy with me, but she knew she was getting off light.  She shuffled off to the exit.  Sigh ...

It was retiree day at the fair, with special events for us old folks.  Uhm - street hip-hop is for us old types.  "Yeah, I remember when I used to break dance on the halls of high school ..."  Not!  There was also a very interesting Australian group doing some form of techno pop thing, I liked their sound but perhaps the sponsors of the show does not understand that 1980's and 1990's music is hardly the retiree timeframe!

For something positive:  Fred Oldfield, a western artist and illustrator, was there.  Think Charles Russell era artist, yeah he is that old!  And he is still painting but it is sad to see the signs of age wearing on him.  I think I will attend his classes this fall, while he is still offering them.  He is a pretty good man and I have long been impressed by him and his stories - but then he lived in an era where I know belong ...

Of course, there was tons of fried food on a stick.  Deep fried butter (gag), deep fried cheese (never tried it), deep fried bacon (bleech!), Twinkies, Ho-Ho's, etc - all enough to make me ill even thinking of the damage people do to their arteries with this "stuff" while young!  As for me I usually have the smoked ears of corn and smoked turkey legs.  This year they had smoked turkey leg tacos .... oh so tempting, until you saw the price!  I went with a gyro and bottle of water this year - only $23.00!  (gasp!)

I came with $140, which I thought would be more than enough.  But, with parking, admission, a sparse lunch, a few snow cones and a $15 DVD by Fred Oldfield - yeah, I walked away with $3.  Sigh ....

There were some great exhibits to be seen but the art section was not very good.  I was amazed that perspective was a problem across the board.  I wonder if this is something not taught any more in art class?  But, there were a few exceptional paintings.  One miniature was right out of any Post-Raphaelite painting right off the "Tour" in Switzerland during the late 19th century.  It was worthy of Hunt, Turner or any in that group!

I recognized a few people, but have no idea whom they were.  Amnesia just drives me crazy!  So, in the art area where all of these, "Oh, hi Kris, how are you doing?".  I do as I usually do, long ago coming to the conclusion to - just talk like I know them and be friendly.  It makes me wonder on how I could have even known by so many people, much less why it is that they should even remember me! I have been down for years and not at the fair I know of!

There were some excellent quilts.  I do not really understand how they judge a quilt but they looked nice.  They had a frame setup and I watched as four ladies were quilting the "whatever it is", well until one of them shouted, "OMG! A thread!"  They all froze and started discussing how to save the quilt with a stray thread showing from the quilting.  I walked over to the canning section ...  Apparently a lot of OCD going around.

In canning section, it was a hoot.  There was a perhaps young 20's something whom was walking along critiquing the jams and jellies.  I kept to my many years vow of not ever talking to a female again, I did not already know.  So, I just followed along, listening to her observations.  I came to the conclusion she was a judge from another fair, trying to figure out how they could give the awards they gave.  It truly was just a laugh listening to her as she measured the head space on the jars for exactness to 1/4", fruit float, etc.  I guess there are scary people even in jam and jelly making land ...

I reread this and realize that it sounds a bit negative (though mirthful!).  But, it was fun, I enjoyed myself thoroughly and definitely will be back next year if I can.  Maybe even with a painting to enter, if I can ever clear my calendar enough to do one to completion!

Amazing part was almost NO traffic getting there at post lunch time.  No backups trying to get into the parking lots, no lines to get in, in fact no much in the way of a crowd!  So just delightful!

Now if I can just figure out whom all of those people were in the art section ...  sigh ...