Life Goes On

So, I decided over the weekend to go and see what is new with those friends whom FaceBook has not deleted for me.  I can now finally read more than a few lines without falling asleep - though typing is still a problem for me!  I realized that being introspective is just fine - but it leads to negativity.  And, my goal in this new life is optimism.

But, life continues - even if mine has been stalled for almost three years now.

On the happy side:
ex-International Banker Woman, widow of my late friend James, got engaged!
I am very happy for her and Dan.
Each of them has a grown daughter and they have been around each other for the past two years.
So, I pray it goes well for them.
And I pray God will be the center of their marriage ...

On the sad side:
The death of Marie, the mother of the young lady my father had decided I must marry.
She was a gentle woman, whom unfortunately hated men.
She passed her hatred on to her daughter.
You can guess how well all went for me decades later and trying to honor my father ....
My refusal to marry was the end of my having a family - except for Somer, my sister.
Until they needed me.

On the same-old, same-old side:
The death of Marie inadvertently only confirmed the depth of lies father was willing to go to.
Had I of known Marie's real tale, even in my naivety back then, life might have been very different.
I remain stunned at his arrogance in believing he was smarter than me.

So, how do I know?
The brain doc put me on a med which kicks starts the brain - as long as it is in your system.
And oh was mine ever kick started!
On day three, it all came roaring back.
Then Thursday brought on twin heart attacks.
So, off of those pills instantly!
And it is now it is Saturday and I am once again dumber than a stump - sigh ...

But, little pieces stayed with me.
Just enough to write about Marie.
Enough to remember why I walked away from her daughter:
She called me a liar.
Equating me with her father.
Equating me with my father.
And why I do not lie ...
I will never be my father.
I swore that as a youth - I maintain that decision.
Often to my own detriment.