Dang!

So Friday during dialysis, yeah .....
Had another stroke.
No one noticed, save for me, hours later.
Other than my own embarrassment,
There were no casualties.

Saturday, was not much better:
Heart attack.
Still waiting to see if it will go all the way and end me.
BP is now 243/172
sigh

I guess I am cursed to follow in my father's ill health footsteps.
sigh
By unlike him,
I know where I am bound,
And no one understands my peace.

But it is not all peace.
I struggle with some things unknowns to me in Christianity,
Things I could never understand,
Still do not understand,
I really do hope that the counselor assigned to me can clear my mind in those areas!

It seems every time that I hunker down into survival mode,
Talk myself into overcoming,
The heart fails.
Very frustrating.

Well, two nitro's taken,
And feeling better now.
100 point drop in my BP.
So, guess I am going to live to see another day.
IF God wills it so.

It took three hours to type just this little bit.