Musical Saturday Morning

Service

Notes from thinking on how we should be living our lives and as to what value any of this is ...

John 13:1-17
 Acts 2:2-47
1Corinthians 12:12-20

Serving Was Jesus' Mission
Jesus served by example.
Serving the absolute lowest in society.

Serving Was The Early Church's Mission
Service as a lifestyle witness.
Serving freely brought the curious.
Serving set the Christians apart from the world!

Serving At The Heart of the Church Today
Service must be!
No one is useless.
No one is without value in Jesus' Church.

Service Must Be At Our Heart
We are here to service, to help, as a witness for Jesus.
It turned the 2nd century Roman people to wonder.
It showed there was truth behind Christian claims.
It brought the Roman Empire to its knees.

Mixed Bag

Such a mixed bag this holiday has been!
Statistically,  10 % of all people get in at least on fight over the holiday.
Others argue the number is closer to 40% !
And let the holiday fisticuffs begin!

Of course I am flat on my lips.
Stage 5 kidney failure has taken its toll on my health and body.
I rely heavily on Gaelic Girl, when she is willing to help.
But, she was hit by food poisoning last Tuesday and is on her lips still.

Saturday, I planned to take my mother out to lunch.
Can't do dinner - no, "they" will be watching.
Can't do Olive Garden, she hates their salads.
Can't do Famous Daves, she now hates BBQ.
Just like last month, no place will do, she wants to rot at home and force others to rot with her.
And with a puking GG for 45 miles, we arrived.
And true to form she refused to go to lunch - insisting that we had to eat her food!

I flat lost it!
And then she spent 25 minutes calling me every name in book, at the top of her lungs!
When GG finally had enough, I was past caring if she lives or dies ...
I realize I am stuck with this woman in my life.  And God really needs to move in that hard heart of hers!
For now, I can ignore her, but her birthday is three weeks away - maybe I can send a card ...
Most of my adult life has been spent with her not talking to me ...
Certainly not driving three hours again out of my way for her!

Christmas Eve was a success.
I made steak oscars, which were well received.
Christmas day was a bust, I was beyond  exhaustion!
I made a pasta salad and the day was over for me!

Today is a day of rest, to accomplish what I can before surgery on Wednesday.
I am wiped.
No energy what-so-ever.

I trhink I will lay down with my new antique French cookbook and read a few select recipes .....
And dream of the life I lost when I was forced to move to America ...
Sigh

Musical Saturday Morning

I can See!

My new glasses came in yesterday!

It has been two months now since the auto accident smashed my face and took my sight from me!
And for someone whom loves to read, it has been hard.
It is unfortunate that the retina damage is permanent but at least I now have pretty good vision.
A little fuzzy though.

Not real impressed with the price though.
But if it takes a specialist, you see them.
:(

So, I am taking off on my first walk with vision!
I get to see the car that has my name on it now!
LOL

I probably will not post til after the holiday.
So, Merry Christmas and may the Prince of Peace rule your days....
But you never know ....

White Christmas

I have commented before that the only being viewed on cable is the Hallmark channel.  My youngest daughter is completely addicted!

So I watch and I think....
First observation is that the story lines are shallow and predictable.
Hollywood values being pushed on to small town America.

Next is that they reuse the same actors oiver and over.
To the point that many could be called serial stalkers!

And then there is the white Christmas phenomena ....
So far there have been NO America Indians,
No religious message,
Nothing to do with Jesus what so ever!
You will across All of the productions only see 5 colored people!
No Hispanics what so ever!
And no main characters ...

Pssst, Hollywood - the minority in America is white .....

So althoiugh it is interesting to see a minority catered to,
Perhaps representation of what Americas racial mix really is would provide wider viewing?
And less basis for phobias ....

Interesting

It has been interesting watching all of the politicians running for cover as hard questions are being asked and answers demanded!
Oh how I have laughed at completely inept public "seervants" try to cover their butts with weasel words.
I hate weasels.
And our government has been filoled with less than intelligent weasels, hoping to stall the backlash against them.

But, even the Canadians are unhappy with the severing of the only real road south from Seattle.

:)

It is unsettling that it has taken the deaths of many, hospital stays for about 100 injured and of course the shutting down of the highway to show the corruption in planning - where safety should take an important role, was not even a consideration!

Will the future be changed?
Probably not.  They will weasel word things for a year and then try to quietly sweep it all under a rug.
Business as usual in Washington State.
The news here deflected to the appearance of a fuzzy bunny in a baby stroller!
No kidding.
Someone dumb enough to push their rabbit around in a baby carriage and reporting staff dumb enough to think this is news ....

Will ANYONE ask any probing and meaningful questions?
Doubtful ....

In Life and In Death

Generally, I plan a day's post up to a week prior.
I type it up the night before, sometimes in the wee hours.
Today's originated back in October, planned for today.
I was thinking on the failure of my health, aware of Jesus' sacrifice, but then life intervenes .....

I am a bit of a fatalist.
I know if I get on an elevator, I will fall to my death.
I survived a floor drop in Phoenix - huge springs kept the car from turning me to goo...

I know if I am passing a logging truck, it will drop its load on to me!
I was behind the truck that dropped its load near Aberdeen.
But, for a matter of seconds, I would have been dead as well...

Aircraft were made to try and kill me!
A Continental flight crashed in Salt Lake City about 20 years ago,
We hit the ground so hard the wings folded!
But for what ever reason, God saw fit to save my bacon that day!

And to feed my fatalism, today's Amtrak derailment outside of Tacoma.
There you are, driving to work and now train cars start falling from the sky!
Are you kidding me?
Train cars falling off a bridge?
And worse, at a point where there is just no way around!
Sigh ...

Lots of lessons I am sure will be learned here.
About trains on old tracks.
About courts making arbitrary decisions about safety.
It was the first day of service for this route ...
But what about for me?

Philippians 1:19-26

Jesus Can Be Honored 
In my life.
In my death.

Jesus Defines Life For Me
Verse 21
We are to put all under Him in importance.

Jesus Makes Death Not Scary
Death is foreign to our existence.
We fear what we do not understand.
But there is comfort in knowing our future is in Him.


It is too early to know how many have been injured or killed.
But your prayers for healing and comfort are needed!

Jesus, An Introduction

My favorite author in the Bible is John.  He speaks a language I can understand, uses phraseology I know and it is hard to knock holes in his statements by modern day disbelievers.

From John 1:1 - 14

Jesus is the Incredible Word 
Jesus is Eternal.
Jesus is God.
Jesus is the Creator.

Jesus is the illuminating Word
The purpose.
The power.
The passion.

Jesus is the inclusive Word
All who accept Him are accepted by Him.
All who accept Him are Children of God.
All who accept Him are "born" again.
(a brand new you)

Jesus is the incarnate Word.

Musical Saturday Morning

Doctor's and Cars

Well today is dedicated to a neurology exam.
Yet another check mark on my road back to my ability to drive again.
I have no idea what the doctors expect to find, I don't pass out as a rule.
So, just a waste of cash I expect.

And I am just a bit stressed.

On the other side of my quest to drive again, I have been shopping car lots.
I am fairly resolved that it will be a Toyota.
The Rav4 is the current leader, though I like the Highlander most.
The Highlander has more room, but the Rav4 is economical.
But can I get in it?
Will it need to have accommodation features?
And does Toyota do this?

Sigh .....

And I have no energy left for all of this.
Just these few lines has me now at 90 minutes!
And I still need to walk to the doctors - about 45 minutes to do the six blocks ......

Cable

In preparation for the winter Olympics in February, I beat the rush and ordered cable.
My figuring was that with a typical Seattle winter ahead of me, I could stay mentally engaged watching whatever ...
Unfortunately, there is often nothing on the free channels!
Unless I want to watch movies I already own or have seen a dozen times!
.. sigh ...

It just amazes me that out of 1,200 channels, the can be NOTHING to watch!

But if I was into porn or spoke Spanish, there would be all sorts of entertainment ...
sigh

Memories

What a horrible night!
I have no idea what triggers this ... yeah, seventh grade - not worthy of memory, but I ended up reliving a horrible series of memories from when I was 12 years old last night.

It all started because father insisted we dine at one of his cousins' estates. 
He wasn't home so we went to a local five star spot for breakfast.  I even remember what everyone had for breakfast!  And the ensuing fight between my father, a waiter and me.  The problem was I refused to eat two raw eggs.  Father demanded I eat what was served.  Before it was over, the police were called whom ended up giving my father a lectrure on what work of "art" he was, the waiter was beaten into unconsciousness, the head waiter was arrested, as was the cook!  Yeah it got ugly real fast!

But father was not done with me and cold-cocked me in a sucker punch! 
He was gone off drinking when I came to.
I was very angry!
Hitting me was nothing new, but to attack from behind me was just too much!
Later that night, he collapsed in the doorway to our apartment, drunk and soaked in urine.
I left him there and let all the neighbors see him for what he really was.

When he came to, he blamed me for allowing him to remain in the doorway and fetched his strap.
And when he came at me, I threw all 70 pounds of me into the perfect punch.
I flattened his nose so bad it had to have titanium bars to rebuild it!
Grandfather would have been proud!
But his abuses only became worse, once he was out of the hospital and he was no longer being supevised by the police!

Yeah, like I said, it was not a nice series of memories!
It would be another fiour years before he left my life for 39 years.
Many similar events and two more broken noses for him during those years.

I miss that I never had a father.
I curse his name that I had an abuser instead!
He has been dead for seven years and it still angers me!
It was all so unnecessary ....
It makes me all the more thankful for my DSnish great uncle ......

Warm Blankets

To my friends, for all of my life I have been known for being immune to cold.  When I was working ski patrol in Colorado and they had severe cold hit the resort - I was the one sent up to clear the slopes.  Still the best day of skiing ever!

Yeah, I could get cold, but it was not often.  When I had to retrieve my father from Fairbanks in January 2005, there I went with a flannel shirt and only wore a coat when the winds were too strong.  The Alaskans all bundled up in their snow bunny outfits were all commenting that I was insane - they just did not understand that I like cold weather.  I also like sunbeams too.

However, following the car crash in October, something went wrong inside of me - I can not get warm!  My natural heat seems to have vanished.  It is 72 right now inside the house and I am huddled over my computer wearing what used to be my winter coat - and I am shivering so hard that typing is further confounded for me!

I have been freezing since the accident, pure and simple, I am cold!

So, I ordered an electric blanket from Amazon.Com last week.  But it arrived too soon - I still had to find a wall outlet to plug into!

Yesterday, I washed sheets, pulled off the blankets, made the bed back up and set the electric blanket to pre-heat the bed. 
Come bed time - it was roasty-toasty!  It was too hot!
I could not sleep as it was so I got up and let the blanket cool off.
Three hours later, I crawled back into bed, set the blanket on its coolest setting.
And slept warmly ...

Only problem I found is that when morning arrived, I did not want to leave my warm blankets - for 3 hours!

Now, I wonder if I have time for nap this afternoon...

Gift Giving

Well only five more gifts to mail this year - such was the death count across my friends and family 0ver this year!  So few from my past are now left ...

And for the first time ever - that which needs mailed, has been!  Often I am lucky to mail by Christmas Day!  Next year, gift cards all the way!  So much easier and one size fits all.  All I have to do is guess correctly on the store!

And, for as bad as I am at gift giving, those whom survive are very good at it.  I already have three presents under the tree!  People have been very good to me this year. No, I really do not understand why ... but I am not going to complain that there are a few whom care, whom remember.

First daughter always remembers to call or text from where ever she is on Christmas Day, oldest daughter never has any money but her gifts are ones of love (priceless), youngest daughter does give gifts but son only will spend money on himself or what ever piece of fluff he is chasing at the time!  Yeah, these young women are short on self esteem - that is what passes for "love" in their culture .....  And gifts are just another way of saying you want something in exchange ...

Sad if you think about it.  He certainly was not raised this way by me.  Sigh ...

Musical Saturday Morning

Heros of Telemark

My father loved war movies.  I do not think that he actually understood war too well - war equals dead people, lot of them!  And for someone whom saw the slaughter of the scientific workers associated with the V projects, the fire bombing of Dresden and the bombing of Nordhausen ... he really was quite clueless.  I at least recognized that these represented sons, brothers, fathers and grandfathers - whom would never be returning home.  I think father's entire philosophy of life was based on the idea: you are either alive, or you do not exist.

Anyway, in 1965, a very different style of historical war movie appeared, it was filmed on locations in Norway where the events had transpired  (or as close as could be done, allowing for German and British bombing damage)  It made the story more real and the casting of Kirk Douglas in the lead role brought his brooding performance into focus.  Though he seemed to be very uncomfortable throughout the film.

Of course, the story revolves around the attempts to destroy the Telemark heavy water processing plant in Norway, during World War II.  In spite of all of the attempts, those crafty Germans were always one step ahead of those desiring to destroy the project.  Filled with spies and nail biting sequences, if you are cheering the Norwegians on, this is engaging film.  But, if you cheer on stereo-typical, cold, calculating, merciless Germans - well, lots of  opportunities in this film! Unfortunately, too few films are made to this quality level.

(under the item of Too Much Information:  I had a chance to interview Hisenberg in 1967 or 1968 and I asked him if Telemark as the only heavy water plant or were there others.  He laughed and commented that it was of no importance, they had all  of the Plutonium they needed by then.  Other questions unfortunately only pissed him off - so I hit a nerve when asking about his bomb's triggering mechanism ... sigh - if Kris, then really piss people off!  Which was unfortunate as I had great admiration for the man and his work on the first atom bomb!  Fortunately the design could not have worked!  I may be German but I am not insane!)

Certainly a must view, a must ponder on the points the film brings up concerning life, nationalism, sacrifice, etc!  And the complete absernce of God, when filming in what was a deeply religious country and people.  1960's Western morals being overwritten on to WWII Norway?

Christmas Prep

Well, for the first time in my life, I have almost all of my Christmas presents purchased!  Thank you Amazon.Com!  Usually it is Christmas Eve before I am this far along ....

I even have bought gift wrap, packing peanuts and boxes to mail gifts in!  I tell ya, I am smokin' this year!  It is my goal to have the four to be mailed gifts ready to ship by end of day Thursday!  Friday will be shoot  them off day!     So great to be so far ahead of my usual sloth.  Of course my children can't be bothered with gifts to anyone other than their friends - if I am lucky I might score yet another excuse as to why they can only afford presents for their friends!

Gaelic Girl put up the tree last weekend.  I fear that with my ongoing heart failures I am quite useless, and doing the tree is my favorite part of the holiday!   Well, unless we are doing a German Christmas - in which case I get to set up candles and bells.  And flying cherubs!

Next up is Christmas Eve Dinner planning for the entire clan!  :)

But for now, I get to rub medicated oil all over my hive ridden body!  I tell you if it is not one thing, it is another this year!

Uhm ....

I would be the first to admit that I watch all around me, ponder and continue watching.  It is the reason I became a follower of Newton's Cause and Effect line of reasoning.  It served me well up until last year, anyways.  Back at Thanksgiving, I was surprised to have a college boxing buddy show up.  Now he is more than a little bit of a conspiracy nut.  I discount all conspiracy claims .. at least until something persuasive pops up.  Surprisingly, my friend has turned out to be correct on too many conspiracies - so much so, he has gotten to be known well by the FBI.

And during his visit we got into it over his hatred of the "fake" Jews in Israel, Russians trying to monopolize on "our" avocado crops and then the Vegas shooting ............ Errrrrr ........?

Now I will admit that when the news of the shooting, broke - it was too surrealistic.

Normal Nevada rich dude, gambler, apparently takes a mental health vacation into psycho land.
And the press followed up with lots of nothing to support the theory.

And the problem ....

Shooting at night, 500 yards to the target, down slope - and he is untrained?

Witnesses agreed that the shooting came from multiple locations.

Over an hour for a police response when they are assigned in the hotel?
Three different time lines when the tapes are time coded?
No tapes of the man moving in his gear, when elevators are filmed?
Photos show a rifle with scope set up by the front door, why?
There were supposedly over 8,000 rounds fired, and yet minimal brass litters the floor.

And on and on .... my friend rolls off the discrepancies  and certainly at face value he has too many points.

Certainly the Vegas shooting disappeared too quickly from the press and there is no continuing news source!

It does make wonder what is.
Was Yet another attempt at a power grab by the government?
But, did something go wrong?

I wonder if we will ever know .....


Will my missing God-Daughter ever be found in Vegas?
No answers to that query at all!

Flashback

I ordered an electric blanket on Amazon Sunday night, as well as, a book to read now that I can once again focus my eyes!  I had both items within 12 hours!  Wow!  Of course I am still looking for a wall plug on my bedroom wall, but I have to move furniture to find it!  The book was so good, I finished it within a day!

"Gold!  Madness, Murder and Mayhem in the Colorado Rockies" by Ian Neligh

It is half about the author and his mining experiences mining gold in Clear Creek County, the remainder covering pieces of Colorado's colorful early history and discovery of gold.  I learned a few things and spotted numerous holes and some only partially correct information.  However, it is a good read and a great starting point for learning more on what interests you.

I first came to Clear Creek's mining districts in 1970 and rather quickly realized that there was gold in them there hills!  I ran a placer claim on North Clear Creek for five years.  Then an additional five years spent mapping the thousands of tunnels around Idaho Springs.  So, I know the locality very well.  But, how is it I never crossed paths with this guy?  Same locations, same friends and many events he tells of, I was there as a part of the Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue - and we never crossed paths!  It seems almost impossible .....

A good read, filled with wry humor and certainly leaving me wanting to know more!  Maybe after Christmas I will have the time to run down some of the stories in greater detail  ...

But as I thought on it, I suddenly realized that I ought to teach my nephew how to work a gold pan!  He is chronically under employed due a medical condition.  So, hmmmmm ...?

How To Destroy Your Faith

Understand this post is about people whom are Christian, raised Christian, had all appearances of living a Christian life ...

We face a formidable foe, its name is Satan.  Its methods have been known in writing since Moses penned the book of Genesis on clay tablets.  And yet, thousands of years later, its lies still cripple us!  Why you say?  Because there is always just enough truth to cause doubt ... and unresolved doubt allows for the entrance of sin.

I have pondered this situation for the whole of my Christian life, because one sees this so often!

Why is it not possible to guard our lives from temptation?
Why doe Satan continually (or eventually) win?
Why are lies so terribly appealing to us?

Of course, we are told in the Bible how to live our lives such that Satan has no "in" in our life.
We are told what to be watchful for.
We are told ultimately to flee from even the appearance of evil ...
And the whispered lies always pierce our souls.

Wind the clock back many decades ago ...

I was a youth pastor with a huge youth group - and every problem known to man existed in that group!
I was often at my wits end on how to help these kids, one of the reasons I am such a strong believer in prayer!
The result of those prayers was my suddenly understanding and seeing to the real situation separating them from God.
Not really pleasant in the least for anyone!
No, no one actually wants to know anyone else could know their sin.
Much less willing to get in your face!

But sometimes it was not of  their choice.
Sometimes, we have trauma inflicted upon us.
Trauma leading to unresolvable sin.
But we still have to overcome, and that can be near impossible for anyONE of us to do.

Such was the situation of a young teenager I met 41 years ago.
Inappropriate would be the only to describe their behavior!
But, I "knew" that their behavior was the direct result of having been broken.
But it seemed by gentle questioning, nothing was known by anyone.
However, there were sufficient problems to warrant psychiatric evaluation.
The doctor's prognosis: childhood molestation.
Not a well understood damage back then.
So, I could understand the situation better but was powerless much more than to pray.

Across a decade, they got their act together.
And then Satan struck.
Subtle, so very subtle, was the attack.
Always drawing them and others further from God.
Even those of us watching could not see it coming!
What was to follow was an orgy of sin for demons.
But, watchers learn and can warn others.

Now I have a best friend, whom had to be reduced to that of an acquaintance finally a few years ago.
And the change in our relationship was marked.
From family to strangers literally overnight.
And I could think of nothing I could have done to cause this.
I have spent years in prayer for God to move in their life,
To resolve this situation.
Or to just end me - so much simpler to end me!

I really hate unresolved issues ...

Saturday, God decided to move in their life ....
Across over an hour of hysterics and vomiting- I learned they were at their end.
They had been abused as a child!
And are just now remembering.
Pushing all away from them.
Falling into unfamiliar thought patterns and behaviors.
And they desperately need help.

And now to pray for wisdom at this unexpected turn of events.

Musical Saturday Morning

So, a good time for some humor!

Again And Again

Yeah, the heart decided to go off on me twice this week!
No fun, that sure is for sure!

Tuesday, I had a doctor's appointment up in Seattle.
No biggie, walk a mile and catch a bus .....
Simple in theory.

Took my time, walked steady.
At half a mile I figured out that a mile was not going to happen!
I diverted to my favorite coin shop and rested in their provided warmth.
Then one block to Burger King.
I must have looked plenty horrible as the clerk gave me a great deal on two Whoppers and a drink!
I rested, ate my burgers slowly, took my nitro pills.
Made it one more block to the bus stop.
Rode to my doctor's.
Discussed this continuing problem with him.

Back on the street I started to walk to the nearest bus stop.
I was just barely remainiing upright
A voice yells, "Hey Kris!  Wanna ride?"
I saw it was the wife of a friend and gladly climbed aboard!
Their chocolate Labrador and I  snuggled.
I accepted big wet kisses from the dog.
Back home I laid down and slept heavily.

Then Wednesday, feehling better, I did some Christmas shopping.
Just around town, staying within a mile of home and on bus routes.
And the heart kicked a fit at one mile!
I took a nitro pill, waited half an hour, recognized I needed to get back home.
It was 12:00, I was only 8 blocks from home ...

By 4:30, I was still 4 blocks from home!
I was by a wall and I sat heavily down.
What was I to do?
I had nothing left in me!
I prayed for help.
"Hey, old man!  You need a ride?"
I looked up to see my son and girlfriend smiling and laughing.
It took more than I had to get across the street and into that SUV!

Back home, I went to bed for a painfully sleepless 12 hours.
Using a heating pad I managed a few hours sleep.
But, right now, I am headed to soak in some hot water.
To be followed with an easy day of playing with Swede!

Get Your Act Togerther!

One of the problems with Christianity is that it has been 2,000 years since His last visit.  For two millennia those choosing to follow in Jesus' footsteps, have been faithfully waiting for His return.  From the first century genocide to this day, it gets harder and harder to hold your faith!  And those without faith can not understand the importrance of not playing the world's games, of not being distractted from His purposes for us ....

The point is: whether He is here or not, we are supposed do what we are supposed to do!  Our instruction set was written out for us 2,000 years ago, no mysteries there!  All you have to do is understand!  But, our enemyis very wily and very real.  It will do everything in its power, short of taking your life, to blind you.  And it is very successful against each of us .....

Philippians 2:12-18

Discipleship Is WORK
We are each "to work out" our own salvation.
Not anyone elses.
You are to use what God has given you and what you have learned ....
This about your withness, not a works base statement for salvation!

No Whining Allowed
Verse 14: without grumbling or complaining
In ALL things!
Life is unpredictable.
Horrible things happen.
But, we are not to complain -
And show the reality of Jesus in our lives!

Purpose
To shine out for God.
In the midst of a twisted generation ...
In the midst of a corrupted faith ...
Where no one wants to really find God.

The Answer Is:

Philippians 2:9 - 11

Jesus is Lord.
The question for each of us is one of allegiance!

Who Is He?
Lord, is the name above all names.

Yet, it is a position role with little meaning today.

The English term Lord, is the German title Marquis, the Lord of the March.
I have held this Germanic title since 1967 - though at the time it made no sense to me.
I, in theory, control a district of Switzerland and would supply the German Kaiser with refuge and supplies in time of war.
Of course the Canton of Bern seized the estate in the mid-19th century.
My grandmother, the Marquess, died in 1984 without ever telling me family history or peerage!
Like all things in my life the appearance of, but not in reality ...

Why Killed?
Christians called Jesus Lord, Caesars (Nero's) title.
Nero was not humored.

Why Does It Matter Today?
When the New Testament was written down, Jesus was described with a title meaningless to us today!
He is Lord - your Lord - whether you care or not.
Your allegiance is expected - if you claim to be His.
We must live as though He really is our Lord.

Consider Romans 10:9

He is already the Lord of all!

Who Did This?
God.
He did it all:
Jesus brought down
Jesus lifted up.
Jesus exalted!

Everyone will worship Him in submission.
All creation
Living and dead
Even Satan!
(us in our embarrassment!)

Justice League

One of my boxing friends, from college days came up north for thanksgiving.
So it was interesting: he wanting to run around and me - with no wheels nor license.
Therefore we needed to bus.
But the weather was quite winter like!
So, movie time!

I really want to see Murder on the Orient Express, I have twice seen older versions and one blatant rip-off called The Cassandra Crossing.  But, my boxer friend was in more of an adrenaline soaked Justice League mood ....

And I was never an admirer of Stan Lee, Marvel or anything to do with this cartoon based series.  So we saw the Justice League.  ...sigh.... I had really low expectations, so understand when I say I am conflicted about the film .....

 Many of the performances was very good wonder woman.
A few, superman and batman, were barely adequate.
And one was outright laughable it was done so poorly!

Story was a yawner, as was dialog, most acting, etc - so very uneven.

Theater was jam packed, movie got a standing ovation.

Once again, I was the lone laughing movie goer.  The dialog had some very clever turns of phrase.  By the  half way point I was really starting to wonder what was wrong with the crowd, until the movie was over and I was able to look them over:  a gathering of nerds!  And here,I thought such people were only Hollywood fiction ...

Over-all, the movie was weak, even though Gal Gadot carried the film, hers was the only noted performance.  The worse was a cartoon (cgi) of a barely disguised Arnold - oh how I laughed !!!!!

My suggestion, see it cheaper as a rental.  Definitely not a keeper ... 

Turkey Day

I can't think of a least productive way to start a cooking session than breaking something ..... in this case, my face again .....

So, there I was walking across the house with as load of laundry to start and then I am coming to under a chair and my face tells me "I am hurt!".  As my wits return to me, I realize that my leg had come off! The leg is a pressure fit type with a pressure cuff to assure this type of leg ejection will not happen!  As I figure it, my body decided to lose a few inches of water weight gain during the night, and there was insufficient leg mass for the friction hold!  So, it popped off, I went straight down on the tip of my stump, bruised the tibia bone and meat of the stump - but as an added bonus - as I went down, my face impacted the steel supports for a chair, re-breaking my cheek bone only!  Yes, black eye returned during the day .....

Between ice packs, for the next 5 hours, I was making appetizers for eldest daughter's dinner.  I made boiled shrimp, cocktail sauce, a veggie tray, little phyllo cups filled with cream cheese and crab, and asparagus ham rolls.  This was my first real cooking since the surgeries and it was rewarding to be creating again!  :)

About now son shows up with girl friend, he has been missing for three days - uncool!  And we get into it because he had left a loaded gun out, my grand-kids found it and racked a round!  He was within a split second of ugly Papa over that one!  But he agreed it was a major whoops and locked all of them away in his gun safe.  Sigh ... Thank God they did not pull the trigger!  So, I will be sending off to the NRA for their kids training program materials.

And what is a holiday without drama?!?!  Yes, mother was as crazy as a loon!

I called to tell her to be ready in five minutes for pick up and she is screaming. "who is this?"
Then refused to come because she could not hear me and I was yelling at her.
Good God!, her and her manic depression!  Or her and her refusal to take  meds!
It is really unfortunate because all of the kids were there.
I doubt this will ever happen in my lifetime again, busy lives.

Oldest daughter laid out quite the spread.  And she did well!
Even the Siberian vegan was able to eat well, as did all of us meat-a-saurs!
So, a success!
Just a darn shame that mother's brain fried again ....

Musical Saturday Morning

Leg At Last!

Well, it finally happened - I got my new leg!
Tempted to show a photo but words will have to do!

It has taken weeks to get a ride to my leg maker's.
I wrecked my car.
Nephew wrecked his car.
Swede is rebuilding his bathrooms.
And everyone else I count on is in holiday support mode!
Or completely addicted to watching the Hallmark Channel on the boob-tube ...

At long last day has come!

Swede was 90 minutes late due to traffic.
We had a great lunch but slow service.
Rain was falling in Seattle winter style.
It was 12:58 when we made it to Seattle,
13 more minutes before we could make it!
But has luck would have it - he was late.
Then he had to find his assistant.

Short of it:
2 hours later I had a working leg again.
A svelte socket
Which should allow me to wear tapered jeans!
:)

It took several hours
And I hope this leg will last a few more miles than the last one!
I can hardly wait to take a hike.
I wanted to do this tomorrow, but the Dr says to wait a week and relearn my balance.
Probably safe and sane advice
But it is galling to do so.
sigh .....

Maybe Monday ... or Tuesday ... or ?

Thanksgiving

For the first time in decades nmy mother is joining the family for Thanksgiving.
A mixed bag of emotions.
She dedicated 20 years to ignoring that my children existed.
She abused me for far longer.
And now?????

But eldest daughter is hosting.
All of the kids wil be there, a first in ten years.
My mother a first in 25 years.
All that leaves is one uncle and two aunts.
But they are of a mindset to never travel!

So, I hope your gathering will be filled with family and peace.
Way too much food and all things I can no longer eat!
And of all,
Rest and enjoy one another!

Exercise

Exercise, that most evil of all words to the injured!
Yes, once at the point of being stable on my leg, it was time.

First walk was last week.
Thought I would go for half a mile.
But I felt so good, I went for one,
And then two.
 But I did it!

I lay in a very hot tub of water congratulating myself.
And then I might die in that tub,
I had no ability to lift myself!
With much thought and prayer,
I was able to overcome gravity.
As the afternoon lengthened, I seized up like a frozen engine!
Oh, the pain!

I took a day off to just rest.

Friday I made it an easy walk.
Limited to 1.5 miles or less.
No repeats of Wednesday!

I visited a few shops,
Made some Christmas purchases,
Had Lunch.
Died when I got home!

Monday was my third walk.
Same idea as Friday:
Easy does it.
And it went well.
I evencut my time in half with no real effort!

And as you read this,
I am off for another attempt at two miles!
Can I do it?
I have no idea ...
But I continue to try.

Compliment

So, I went see about getting my driver's license re-instated, not that I have any desire to drive as of yet, but it would be nice to be able to test drive a car should I find one!

I went through all of the tests to again show the cardiologist that I am okay, a bit shaky for sure, but no more heart problems.  Well truth be known, I had a bit of a problem cleaning up after the last storm swept through.  So, I just stopped picking up branches and end of problem!  The doctor has a problem with how my body reacts to physical stress because it is not typical.

So, Mai, his Catholic Vietnamese nurse and the long time nurse of my previous doctor, walked in and rather quickly albeit quietly said:
"Kris, the nurses here get together and talk about patient health.  We are amazed that someone as challenged as your condition can remain in the fight ....."

Of course she knows me from when I was working up to be a semi-professional class bicyclist and I am nothing as I used to be, ten years later.  She also knows I am a Christian and take my faith seriously.  And continued mentioning how inspirational my dogged defiance in the face of continued defeat to surrender to hopelessness.

It made me wonder at what the statistics were of suicide amongst those whom have gone from active to basket cases in such a short period of time.


But, life - human life is precious, at least to God.
I would not suppose to know why.
It is not in my genetic makeup to know.
But it is.
Therefore, those whom would seek to follow in Jesus' footsteps, are stuck with honoring life as precious.
It means I have vowed decades ago to never take a human life - even when the opportunity exists.
It means never using someone.
It means honoring the image of God all of us were created in.
It means being the lesser, in all situations.
It means subjecting myself to endless doctors with needles.
It means letting God bring me to the end of my days,
Though I may long for rest .....

In the meantime, even by just surviving, it is apparently a witness to those around me.
Well, God can use most anything ......
Most anyone,
Even me apparently.

Hunted!

I have commented in the past that the church I attend has a problem - it is the first church of the fresh meat!  Yes we have open hunting in the aisles! No, not with guns, but female wiles ...  And no one seems exempt.

Usually, I am just polite to everyone, ignore what I do not wish to respond to, but as I swore - no more willingness to even talk to a female I do not know!  Since 2012 this has been my motto.  And as luck would have it - this was my weekend for testing of resolve!

So, I walk in and am immediately am accosted by a female, but it turns out ignoring her will not work!  So, I shift to polite and non-committal - only able to break free as the music starts up!

During the welcome time, I am literally circled by two women, several times, I am guessing a mother and daughter, but it turns out a widow with her sister in tow.  They go back to their seats, everyone sits down ... safety at last!

I sit in the back so it is easy for me to leave, but apparently this night I should have been on the front row - in order to be left alone.  As I was chatting with a 91 year old women, Huntress-2 pushes her out of the way, grabs my hand and starts to pump it! Blah-Blah-Blah at how nice it is to have met me - - - I have no idea whom they were, never seen them before!  Her sisterter says 'Hey' and followed her out the door.  Huntress-1 now comments that she has a picture of me in her closet.  Okay that is creepy but I just let it slide.  Do not engage in conversation with this one!
 
Now the most dangerous of all Huntresses walked up.  I actually KNOW this one, which would horrify her that anyone has ever seen beyond her walls.  I wasn't real comfortable about her wrapping her arm around me and walking me outside.  We talked briefly about holiday plans.  I fled.

And were these the only odd occurrences, I would not even mention this post, but it was the dry cleaner's lady, the clerk in the food store I had never seen before, the bookstore lady, and my favorite waitress as well!

Undue attention from all of these people!  So out of character for everyone!
I realize this the holiday season and everyone is filled with jovial joy.
But honestly, why can't people just leave strangers alone?
It is not as if the come hug me crowd sits in the rear of the church!
Nor does this stranger appreciate being touched.
Nor by anyone.
Ever again.


I actually was humming the theme song to the Twilight Zone on my walk home ....

Musical Saturday Morning

Last night in a dream I was remembering pieces of the past.  Of the college group I was a part of - not much, just aces and laughter.  And a young woman I nicknamed, Critter.  She had never been given a nicknamed and actual was rather sad about that.  But how do just "come up" with a nickname?

Dutchman, Swede and I set about working on something which described her and would be humorous.  After-all I was Bird-Beak!  Then one afternoon we were being crazy and I commented she was being quite the critter --- everyone looked at one another, and Critter was born!  And it stuck, 45 years later she still is referred to as Critter, with a wry smile by those whom knew her.

Back before karaoke was so popular, we used to go to coffee houses - tiny informal places where we could sing and hang out on a Friday night.  One night everyone was challenged to compete, she leaned over and asked I wanted to try: we won!  And we repeated that success weekly, singing old songs from Herman's Hermits.

Leg Day!

Well, I had an appointment on Tuesday to get my new leg ... but, a big windstorm took out power to the district last night!

So, thank Heaven!  Today is when I can get my new leg!

This leg I have only used for four months, but it keeps falling off!
If I stand too still and then step forward - down I go!
If I sit for too long and then try to get up - off it pops!
If I swing my leg getting out of the car - off it flies and through the parking lot it goes!

So last week's exam convinced the maker that this leg is not the answer to any question, other than, how to meet freaked out total strangers....

So Swede is headed down to pick me up, drag me over to the facility for testing the new leg and then off to Mexican food.  Maybe go hunt down a Ford Escape to see if my leg will fit in it!  Still lookin'.

*********

On the other hand, they were still closed and I am still popping legs!
sigh .....

Red-Neck Justice

Many decades ago, I was introduced to the young step-son of the mining engineer whom was to become my mining partner and very trusted friend, if not a better example of manhood than my father was.

His step-son was 9 years old at the time and he was an admirer of the craziness which was me.  I fear life killed that part of me across the past several years.  But back then I was quite crazy - always the clown ..!

As time passed he developed into quite the little southern red-neck.  And if you have followed along with my posts, then you know that I have no sympathy for any form of prejudice or racism.

And as the "fates" would have it, he had to go into the hospital for some tests as part of a new job placement, part of which being a blood work up on him.  Net result was they discovered he has sickle cell anemia ....  Of course, I had to ask a doctor friend how this was even possible!

Apparently, it is known problem with Italians, whom untold generations ago, introduced African slaves into their gene pool.  Well, that was a new concept for me....  And, yes, I have found this such an incredible form of justice - to show him that he is not better than, nor mightier, than those whom he has trash talked for the entirety of his life .....

And yeah you should be praying for anyone with this affliction.

Our Example, Jesus

Jesus set down some excellent actions and words as to how we should live.  But, He also left us with  some compelling proofs to back up those words:


Reading Philippians 2:5 - 8

How He came down:
He was the form of God
Not equal to God
Not equal to man
He chose to lower himself to the level of man
Christianity is about who Jesus is
Christianity is about your relationship with Jesus
We are told who He is
We are told what our relationship is
We can have peace in knowing

What He gave up:
He became a slave for us
He became human in form
He became the antithesis of what man looks for in a God
Similar in appearance to man, except without sin

How He lived here:
In humility
Obedient even to the point of death
A state execution on a cross
Powerless
A servant to all

Why He came here:
To die i8n the worse way possible!

Coconut Water

One of the side problems from the auto accident, and losing my kidneys, is that all of my long used medications have to be changed.  I think the doctors have done well on getting my substitutions to work.  However, there seems to be no replacement for diuretics..

I remembered something about coffee and tea having a diuretic effect.  Well, I hate the taste of coffee!  But I am a tea fiend!  So, I set about drinking a ton of tea daily.  Net result leg swelling and massive angina problems.  Okay, so I switched to decaf tea ....  That stopped the angina.  But utter swelling failure.

Not to let my enthusiasm be dampened, I needed to find something as the pain was getting unbearable!  I even tried compression hose!  But don't tell anyone whom holds any respect for me ...

And then I got to remembering something about one of my friends, it was pre-surgery, so very hard to remember!  But they are into coconut water as a cure all.  So I hopped on the internet to discover that coconut is a touted cure all.  Sigh, I hate the piles of garbage on the internet!

So, I went to the local grocery store and picked up two pint containers of coconut water.

The taste was mildly sweet but no added sweetener on the label.  A pint of the water  has about as many carbs as a slice of sliced bread, so no real diabetes worries.

All I can say is that, that pint of coconut water put me in the restroom for about 3 hours!  Net result was a 50% reduction in swelling in my leg!  Who would have thought?

So I have continued to drink one pint every morning and watching my leg continue down in size.  This morning my skin was feeling like it was not mine at all.  Covered in dead skin, I thought I was shedding a sunburn!  So, it seems that coconut water does work as a diuretic ... now if only it forced kidney regrowth ... sigh ...

Next up will be trying this every other day to see if that is acceptable.

Bad Day

If you had to pick something I hate more than anything else on this planet; needles would be the winner!  I hate needles thanks to the brutality of US Army doctors!  When I was 18, I snapped and blasted one of those psychopaths through a wall!  When my mind returned to me - the doc was laying on the floor, half way through the wall and quite unconscious!  I grabbed my medical charts and headed out the door!

I felt really bad for the poor guy, I later heard he "retired" from medicine.  Well, he certainly did not have a bedside manner worthy of not being trashed by every patient ...

So my life has been lived in varying degrees of object terror of needles and the past three years have been nothing but constant needles!  Constant surgeries, constant IVs ... shudder!

And now I find I am to be subjected to a minimum of four more surgeries, in a series beginning on December 27th ... waaaaaah!

This is the start of the dialysis surgeries to install the first of the fistulas ....  Well, I am guessing that it is good that technology is there for people with "poor" veins.

And with the dead kidneys, they had to drop all of my diabetes  medications - so guess whom now has to go injections of insulin ... sigh ...

Yeah, Kris' life is about become a living hell beginning in December.
And I honestly have been asking the hard question, "is life worth it?"
I know where I belong, it is just a question of, for what am I living here?

Sucky day ...

Musical Saturday Morning

How Dare He!

So I was able to get a ride to church on Saturday night.  I like the Saturday service as there are fewer people - and I like avoiding crowds - however well intentioned!

I was surprised when they announced the senior pastor was not to give the message, but one of my God-children was!  I settled back to see what he had to say.  About a third of the group got up and walked out during the opening prayer - including some good friends.  So, I had to ask ...

"he has no business in pulpit!"
"he is not a pastor!"
"I don't believe his testimony!"
etc ...

These quotations were repeated by a close friend as well, whom has probably given 100 sermons through the years and has NO ministry background at all, but is gifted.  Very hypocritical!

I did not want a fight so I kept my mouth shut.

Thanks to the organized church aka Roman Catholic Church, we have a completely skewed view of what a pastor is!  The pastor is the ordained one.  Even in the Reformation Churches speaking was limited to the elders, usually 10 to 12 of them!

Biblically, the only qualifications for a pastor or even elder all revolve around their character and commitment.  Sorry 21st century church, you never were legitimate at least if you believe the Bible.  And like so much in this generation, we call upon tradition of a corrupt church to defend our beliefs.

So my God-son, gave a valuable sermon on each of our responsibilities.  Solid, Biblical, people were listening - and that is what God desires of each of us, and of him that day.  He did well and I encouraged him afterwards.


Whether you witness to someone, help an old lady in the grocers or preach a sermon - you are called to perform all of these tasks (as God leads your spirit).  We are to be servants to all - always with an answer for the faith within us!

Break Satan's hold over your Church, get involved, serve others, your community.  Study, pray, witness - be the meekest of witnesses, learning to love others more than yourself!

Awesome Book

With my recovery from the heart attack and auto accident, I have been mostly on bed rest.  And, I have pretty much read everything in the house and on the computer - life becomes overly boring!

Back when I was in college I got into reading Agatha Christie's books.  She was an okay writer, most of her early works were better, the latter ones predictable and often contrived.  I managed to assemble a complete collection of her books - in first editions.  I even had her pre-release edition of the Under Dog.  My favorite was They came to Baghdad - obviously written by someone whom had been there!  Experience is always the best resource when writing.

So in my search through the house, I found an Aggie I did not remember, "Come, Tell Me How You Live".  Written under her married name of Mallowan - I think it is her best book!

Basically the book covers her husband's exploration of tells in Syria at the start of World War II.  The obstacles her famous husband are at times so laughable, I had to put the book down to recover!  And it was telling to read of a rather sheltered British writer whom is suddenly faced with the reality of life in the real world often with hilarious results!

If I had a criticism, it would be that she never goes into sufficient depth to understand the resolution of issues.  And I am nosy enough to want to know if she ever fully understood the plight of the non-British, non-moneyed people of the world!

Were you to just cut and paste the name Somer, everywhere that Agatha refers to herself, suddenly we have my sister's life of traveling the world and failing to interact successfully with others!  Which only increases the humor potential for me!` Failing that you can just watch the movie Trenchcoat to see my sister's usual vacation ....

Car Shopping

I am still months away from having my cardiologist clear me for driving again.
Which is fine, my body is far from able to walk in a straight line, much less drive while sharing the road with others! 
And I to admit a certain level of fear at driving again.

Swede came down from Everett and took me around to took at cars.
I really want a pickup but as we found, I can not get into the current generation of truck!
Darn titanium leg just will not fold small enough.
Same with all of the current offerings of cars .....
But we did find a Sienna van I could easily enter and exit!
It sold the next day as I thought about it.
sigh
Vehicles built in the past 5 years just are not built for tall people nor artificial legs!

So I am looking on Craigslist now.
So much junk being offered.
Terms like: cherry, low miles, grandma's car, etc are all keywords for rip off!
How can people lie so easily?

I drew up a set of qualifications.
Under 100,000 miles,
Undamaged,
Over 20 miles per gallon highway,
Able to easily get in and out of,
Can haul stuff to shows,
Parts readily available,
And limited quality recalls!
Easy, eh?

Today I am researching Ford's Escape
Tomorrow Jeep offerings.

Well must go, I have an appointment to discuss leg modifications to make car entry easier!

Finding Joy

Continuing with the thought of finding joy ...
But how are we to do this?

Philippians 2:1 - 4

Begin with God.
He is the one whom calls us together.

Joy and blessings flow from joy.

Work as a team.

Same mind, love - in agreement.
We are to be one.
Unity does NOT mean uniformity!
Keep mind on Jesus!

Put others first.
Everyone is more significant than you!
Humility - seeing others needs.
Serving others.
Replace pride in you life with humility!

(from painful e3xperience - this takes time and much prayer!)

Snow Daze

The chilled winds descend from the Arctic, down the Frazer River Valley of Canada and reaching south down the length of the Cascade Mountains to Oregon.  The winds dropping the temperature from 60 degrees to 34 here at the house in just one day. 
The rains came but never reached the ground ...

Silently massive large fluffy flakes fell silently to ground, circling, lifting, and falling again. 
I sat in the window and watched visibility fall until neither the lake nor the neighbors homes were visible. 
I am alone in this silent world ... and utterly at peace.

And I think on all sorts of issues - none of them resolvable by me. 
At how stupid I truly can be.
At how gullible I am.
At how Satan crushed me.
And I never saw it coming.
Stupid me.

And in the snow I found I was not alone.
As dozens of men came to visit,
Having heard of the terrible accident,
And its repercussions.
I was very surprised!
Men whom had not spoken to me in years.
My students of 20 plus years ago!
The Israelis, of whom I do not speak.

The concussion leaves me trembling.
My head aches.
My right eye worn from strain no longer focuses.
The broken facial bones throb.
But still they come.
I need pain killers.

Whom would have thought such an uncoordinated out pouring on this day?
The snow slowly piles up.

Three of my four grandchildren have come.
Hugs and kisses are always the most cherished.
The future is laughing and playing before me.
No, stupid Kris died years ago.
Now and the future are reserved for a damaged, albeit smarter Kris!

But the snow does not care,
Falling silently,
Covering a cold world.

My  heart is warmed.

Musical Saturday Morning

Joy

Been thinking about the trauma of my recent past a lot, about how all but joy is present.
Rather miserable way to live.
Yet, joy is what we are supposed to have.
So turning to the Bible:

Philippians 1:3 - 8.

Joy can be found in good memories of God's people.
Don't let Church disappointments crush you!
Joy can not be found in sinful pleasure, sex or drugs.
Or adrenaline highs.

Joy comes with grateful partnership in God's work:
Prayer for one another
Joining in fellowship
Acceptance of one another
Sharing with one another
You learning to love others!

Joy comes as we gain confidence in God's faithfulness .....


Yeah, a bit ponder and the need to refocus my heart's eyes.

Whip It Up!

The subject of fear is always one of those touchy subjects in this culture.
Who doesn't enjoy a fair and the rides they offer? (other than me!)
The roller coasters and chair drops ... always long lines.
Or the haunted house hoping to shock you?
And don't forget the splatter movies so prevalent this time of year!

People are drawn to fear.
It excites.
There is nothing like the adrenaline rush it brings!
And yet fear is not what God desires for any of us.

We are suppose to live at peace.
We are suppose to live in an assurance of safety.
We are supposed to only fear God.
And our enemy, Satan, longs for what is God's.
Fear, due Him, is no exception.

So, man blinded to eternal truth - seeks out fear.
And slowly is weaned away from being where God is.
But where Satan rules.
And becomes lost to the safety God offers.

Of course my example above is only a metaphor for all we do which is against God, against our conscience .... it brings excitement and possibly fear ... when caught!
But then, that is part of the fun, the rush if you will.

And this morning - yet another terrorist attack in New York yesterday.
And hour after hour of coverage on cable and broadcast TV.
In fact, before 10:00 am, there was only one channel not  dedicated to the story here in Seattle!
Over sharing of the story.
Blowing it up.
Hoping to create fear - so you will watch for more news!
But also pushing lost man further into fear and hopelessness.
Creating a dependent victim mentality.

And people wonder why look-a-like crimes are committed.
DUH!
Really simple psychology here.
"I want to be important, if even for only a moment ..."
And evil is multiplied.
Man is pushed further from God.
And the cycle continues.

For as much as talking heads want you to think they have the answer.
That government can and will care for you ....

Yet man's only hope has always been and continues to be faith in God.
And in God's love for us.

Yet as Daniel's friends observed, when thrown into the Babylon furnace,
"Even if God does not save us from these flames, He is still God."

 There is nothing more to say.
Your hope is in God alone,
Or nothing at all!
For all else are idols
Who can help you ....

And your only security is in the eternity supplied by Jesus sacrifice.

Good News

Just a short post today,
Too much to do!

In the week I have been out of intensive care,
The testing has continued - as has my frustration dealing with hospital empowered morons.
Sigh

But, all of the testr results are encouraging:
Eye socket is healing correctly.
Eye ball is intact and returning to normal.
Retina is undamaged.

nose bones are healing.
Cheek bones look to be healing.
Headache is greatly reduced.

But, blood pressure is still out of control,
The concussion great limits my concentration time
Or ability to listen to music!
Bright light is so painful!

So, keep on praying!

In continuing good news:
More memories have returned
but of no value.

Something Special :)

Well, if you had been there in the years preceding this song - it would make complete and total Freudian sense ......  But maybe you can figure it out as well - ;)

I only intended the first song, but the owner changed it to play other scenes from the movie Mad Dog, whatever!

Enjjoy and Happy Halloween!

Required Classes

As I lay, so unexpectedly in the emergency room for two days!, once again I was given time to ponder.

Naturally my mind troubled over what had landed me here - but since I was out cold - I had to wonder.  I have never passed out before - at least without a blow to the old bean!  I do not drink, nor play with that which causes chemical addictions.  So troubling when something new is introduced to your life!

And I thought on Gwen and the loss of her in my life.
And I sat down to write her relatives and tell them what she meant in my life.
It did not go well.
The pain too personal,
The concussion too severe .....

(in fact it has taken me an entire day to get this far!)

Take death, the most common event in my life these days.
What is protocol when someone dies?
For family, friend, acquaintance?
There must be a difference, but no one teaches this .....

Weddings, same question for the same groups of people ....

Birthdays are another of those not exactly intuitive events.
I gave up long ago at ever getting gift giving "right".
Not surprisingly, my son suffers from this affliction as well.
Don't ask me .....

I go with - if female hold the door!
And if they cuss you out, yes it happens in Seattle!,
I just tell them I was raised to hold doors for ladies,
But you will not make that mistake again with them!
And I make a point of closing it in their face.
:^)
Yeah, lots of guys really laugh when they see this exchange!
Women, not so much ...
But I have never had this happen twice with the same female.
Seems they can learn to be genteel ....

But would classes in high school be so much easier?

Phiotos from accident :(

No straight metal left on the car, note wheel assembly torn from the car.

Two hours after impact, so much worse now!  Codeiene is my friend

Concussion

I have to beg your indulgence - the last two posts have been written with a concussion - it will apparently be months before i will be able to read these and know if they make sense or not.  Add that I only have one working eye at the moment - as the right one is still swollen up!  Yup, these writings ought to keep spelling and grammar Nazi's up at night!

And even I recognize that my brain is damaged.  There are simple questions it takes me much thought to answer!  And  even harder to proof read what I write!

My mother is calling constantly and driving me crazy!  She is like: go buy a new car and drive me around shopping next week!  She does not understand that Washington State suspends your drivers license when you pass out!  But with one eye - I am not going to be driving anyone, even me, anywhere!

Much less, I am not comfortable using my inheritance to buy a car ... but i realize that my mind is hindered - so maybe my mother and sister are right - go buy a car!  But how does that honor Gwen's memory?  Some how I think the question of honoring Gwen and her memory ... does not involve things nor my comfort - but investing in others the way she invested in me for 42 years!

But, as I said, I am very confused by this concussion ... I am just not ready for reality ...

Not Possible

Did you ever see a photo and wonder how did that happen?
Like the one of thr American tourist in Paris, whom launched her car on to a barge on the Seine River?  And wonder ...?

Or a car standing on its nose next to a freeway retaining wall .... and wonder, what the heck!? Is that even possible?

In the latter example, let me tell you how improbable it was ....

I was just approaching the Seattle airport landing lights (over the freeway) , it is a downgrade with a merging traffic lane that runs into the exit I take.  I remember signalling for lane change, checking my mirrors, slowing to move over and ... then, many minutes later, I am looking at the roadway in front of me - rather than under me!

I could not exit the car due my door not opening and the height off the ground!  I tried to get my mind around this fact - how was this even possible?

It took many hours to sort this out.

I had breakfast in Orting with my grandchildren.
I drove up the hill to Bonnie Lake.
I checked out candles and used the toilet.
I then had a deep radiating pain in my left arm.
I took two nitroglycerin pills.
Pain went away/
So I headed the 40 miles home.
45 minutes later I am suspended in the air.

According to my son, I started swerving as I came down the hill by the airport.
And the car went out of control on the rain soaked roads.
The car slid in the gravel, rear to the right.
Slid up a concrete retaining wall, came to a stop,
and fell off the wall onto its nose!

So, car standing on its nose ... next to the freeway ...
A miracle of God's protection,
and I am sure obscure laws of physics ...

But not without injury.
Broken facial bones and eye socket.
Blood pressure out of control and kidney function took a nose dive!
Then the headache!  Well that was a constant due to the blood pressure.

And the following four days in intensive care!
Never ending tests due to the concussion,
Heart failure and kidney disaster.
Never ending needles and blood draws.

To survive, when even the first cop on the scene was expecting no survivors.
Amazed paramedics shaking their heads in amazement.
And eye specialists willing to drive in from Seattle as there was no room at the trauma center.
And the heart team.  My cardiologist flew in from Hawaii!
My kidney doctor spent her weekend caring for me!
And a dedicated team whom survived me!
LOL!

exhaustion conquers me and I must close ...

Crash

Sorry but an auto accident has hospitalized me.
I will try to write more later,
As I am able.

Prayer is needed for healing
I have broken facial bones,
pulled muscles everywhere,
car is totaled,
heart and kidneys now history.

yes heart attack while on the freeway,
sigh ...

Twin

Oh, do I feel old today!

Yesterday, I had youngest daughter from when she got out of school until late evening.  So she plays with her My Little Pony stuff, interspersed with naps and interpretive dance - LOL.

What made it weird was that she was wearing her mother's first competitive skating dress!  At the same age, almost the same height and build, mother and daughter were almost identical!  Except that daughter has longer hair.  Just too weird.

So I watched and remembered back 25 years and the budding athlete my daughter was becoming.  She went on to win every single event she entered!  And taking gold constantly was a real problem.  She was good and she knew it.  By 10 she could already do triples for all of the jumps - it was amazing those those short little legs had the strength for what she did!  She had a never ending list of talent scouts following her around and I got to start seeing the shady side of competitive skating.  And she was rapidly becoming unmanageable.

So, we sat down and had a war council ...

In the end she chose not skate ever again, than to clean her room and help around the house... she chose poorly, as her life has played out.

She could have had Olympic gold, but her independence was so terribly important that she blew off family and friends - for drugs and partying with her "friends".  Yeah, no rocket science there.

And here was her daughter, a vision of her, leaping and jumping about.
And my heart broke once again.
So much potential,
So wasted...
And I will fight grand-daughter ever doing competitive anything!

Suddenly of Use

Best laid plans,
A promise to never speak to another female again ...
Okay, make that any female I do not already know - circa 2012 ...
And I have held tightly to that decision.

Then Sunday evening, I went to Old Spaghetti Factory,
A disabled lady followed me to the elevator,
Then the toilets,
Meeting up again at the elevator.
We chatted lightly on the way back to my table.

She blurted out how her right was artifical
I told her, so was mine!
She had lost her leg three years ago.
So had I !
T the same hospital,
For the same reason!
And I knew we had to talk ..... for real.

So we talked about frustration,
disappointment,
anger with God,
et al.

She needed someone whom could understand
Someone to blow steam at
Someone
Anyone.

And her internal issues resolved,
She was again at peace.
And I realized that God had used misfortune
to encourage both of us .....

Past Shadows

I have struggled mightily since April ( the last wiping my brain ) trying to reconcile who I am, when compared to previous writings as to whom I was.  I mean, I am dumber than a stump now and that is not whom I was!

So, going backwards is impossible
Finding a starting point to go forward from, also impossible.
What to do?
Why pray of course!

For months.

Then this weekend, attending a lecture on lasers, I suddenly had understanding.
Apparently I worked with Masers and Phasers in what would have  been 6th grade were I not in University in Germany,
Moved on to Lasers in 8th grade (working at Oak Ridge),
Which led to my interest in the mysteries of electron acceleration!
Which led to my arrest at the 9th grade science fair!
It seems some innovations are not appreciated and wholly claimed by the government!

And I remembered,
I marveled at the understanding of my mind at such things.
You have no idea the relief at actually understanding anything at long last!

And I pondered, if I had a brain, where did it go?

High School in America was a complete waste of time for me.
I learned far more in Germany, doing college studies.
Lasers were an escape for me in Junior High..
I did read but could not write in English and as a third language, spoke it about that well!
My third high school was in Colorado, where I was condemned to life as an idiot.
But, I had access to a CDC-6200 computer, no manuals, but hundreds of hours free to figure it out.

When I bombed out of my physical for the Coast Guard, lost my scholarship to the Scripts Institute, fled from the US Army bullies in town - and found a college for computers!

The four years of college took me 25 months, and I loved most every minute of it.
But I now had divided loyalties.
My computer studies and my dedication to Christianity.

Ah, divided loyalties ....
For a few decades I could excel at both.
Eventually you begin to slip, juggling to keep too many balls in the air.

And now I could understand the gift God had given me.
Yes it had cost me a leg, to get me to drop those balls.
But, my mid was in a rut,
even my classes I taught were mundane!

God has given me a rest, and yes I desperately needed it.
Limited me from over doing anything again,
Sufficient income to support me and my new car.
And now shown me my brain can still work
I can sill understand given time.

Apparently I still need rest
but hgere is a future and I wonder what it contains .....

Something techie and interesting?

The Foreigner

Such a hard movie to review!
On the one hand it is the best Jackie Chan film done so far!
The story held my interest throughout the movie!
It is the best performance by Pierce Brosnan, poor as his skills are.
It is easy to see this story happening!

On the other hand .....
Damage sustained by the characters would require major recovery time in reality!
Brosnon has had a long career - plenty of time to pass an acting class - PLEASE!
Unnecessary nudity.
Unnecessary adult situation!

Plot-wise it is a simple story of revenge.
The modern politics of diverting justice for feel good-ism.
Politicians trapped by peace accords, news reporters and and an angry public.
Playing both sides against the middle - and getting burned.

So, even though I do not appreciate great films stuffing nude females in to get a rating, even if "nothing" is shown, it is still a good film.
I was not alone in not appreciating the one adult situation, such a groan from the packed crowd!
Yet it is a good adult film.

I was surprised that the 20-somethings got the film.
It deals with the IRA and its retirement.
But, action/adventure is always popular!

Best film for Chan, and Brosnon.

Kingsman - Golden Circle

Now here is a movie that is almost impossible to review -- without spreading the vulgarity of this movie!
Sure a billion reviews will sing its praises - and, if you cut out twelve minutes, so would I.  As  it is, all I say is save your money - this a POC movie, and they did this on purpose!

So much about this movie is so funny I thought I would pee my pants!
Did I mention I was the only one laughing?
Elton John was so hilarious!
Performances were good, if comedy was intended.

Naturally there is nothing supporting the good James Bond-ish sequences and instead, 14 year old action.  The mentality of Hollywood.

Our hero, if he can ever act and not be such a smart ass, would make a reasonable candidate for next Bond - but there are probably 10,000 Northern Brits could do this job oh, so much better!

Avoid ...

Musical Saturday Morning

Sana Rosa

Depending on traffic, this town is1.5 hours north of San Fransico, in spite of the news - it is NOWHERE near Sacramento!
Doesn't really matter, it no longer exists ....

Last night on the news they were showing the trailer park grandmother had lived in for many decades. Just a sea of ashes now.  Nothing remains.

I have many warm memories of visiting my grandmother and her sister there.
Her neighbors were all delightful older people.
Ripley's Believe It or Not was here.
The Luther Burbank home and gardens were here.
I met Jack Palance and his daughter here.
My last grandfather was buried here.

Certainly a year of sadness.

And nothing I can do for them.
Except pray.

Bits and Pieces

So many thoughts swirlibng through my mind.
I should have done this last night when I had a really good idea.
Now, not so much.

I have been flattened since the first week of September by Norovirus, compliments of Royal Caribbean lines.  The actual virus only flattened me for 10 days but left me with a painful cough in the evening.  Tylenol Cold and Flu cuts the cough for 4 hours!  So relief shorrt term when I can remember to take some - sigh ...

I did go to the doctor and, of course, my lungs were just fine.
Yet I am hacking my lung out as I sit here.
It makes conversation completely impossible even with the Tylenol.

I have slept so well this week!
I got very little last week with a missing godchild on my mind!
Now that he is found and back home, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Though I suspect he needs counseling big time!

Heard very day from  god-daughter.
I am so happy we were able to reconnect!
I just hope I can help her as she transitions into adulthood.
I do not expect see much of her as she is a two hour drive away and she has no car!

Well my mind has wiped itself again.
Time for a nap and to recharge my batteries.

A Hutterite's Belief

I have been asked for years define the Hutterite belief - I lack all interest in regressing five centuries to restate what was relayed to me and became a part of me!

But, the events of last week blind sided me!
I needed to be assured.
For the week I began questioning
And seeking answers ......

God is sovereign, there is nothing greater.
God is in control of all, nothing a part from Him occurs.

(this was the first of many sore points  between my mentor and me!
if God is in control - then how come .....?)

I am not God and unworthy of judging Him!


This is good enough for getting us started.


So, god-son, a life long Christian on a bit of a rough road ( heavy drug abuse area).
Goes to a country western concert with two of his friends.
Some3thing I still do not understand occurs and a whack-o opens fire on the crowd.
He and his friends take off running, but no one know from where the bullets are coming.
His two friends are hit and die quickly.
His mind goes sideways.....


And where was God through all of this???????

Certainly nothing in the shooters life would suggest He was on a mission for God,
Nor that the friends were anything more than bad timing.

It would seem reasonable that god-son's life was protected, whereas, his friends were not.
It would seem God was finished with his friends, but not my god-son.
He was protected even after their deaths.
Interested.

If life is random - he should be dead.
The death count up to 200 times higher!
It boggles the mind!

No, I would not put into print what I personally think.
I am just grateful for his safe return .....

As for the Hutterite answer to this - we are not to question God, not to judge, not to condemn - He is sovereign  - we are not.....

God-children

So, last Monday I was to learn that one of my God-children had dropped off the face of the Earth.  No calls connected, even his work was looking for him!  So lots of prayer but no answers.

Tuesday came and went with no word, then Wednesday, and Thursday.  Nothing by anyone!  Of course his is a small town and I learned from his wife that two of his friends were missing as well!  Camping trip maybe?

Friday, I got the call....
He was in Las Vegas - oh dear!
He had been at the Sunday night concert massacre!
In trying to escape, he and his friends were targeted.
Both of the friends died instantly.
He lost it and had to be sedated.
They released him Thursday night.
So, prayers for him would be appreciated.

And though horrible, especially with survivors guilt, I am glad he lived ....
I never met his friends.

Then last night my youngest God-daughter made me stew and brought it over!
I have not seen her in nine years.
She is much troubled, or at least was.
She has grown into an admirable young lady!
So here is to hoping for no repeats in her lifetime!

So random,
So much in need of prayer,
Gotta be a reason ......

OMG

oh my god!
has everyone gone insane?!?!?!?

Musical Saturday Morning

Gaelic Girl

Super late post, sorry.
GG busted up a knee about 18 months ago and outside of shots, ignored it.
Of course, it got worse - much worse.

So I had her in surgery before 6 this morning!
The knee is a mess internally now and will need full replacement, probably next year.
sigh ......

And I am now officially exhausted!

Winding Down

It is with the greatest of joy, that I now know my time is statistically short!
Yes, the last Plattner male still has whatever time God has given me.
But, my body's failure is already written on the sands.

I have been undergoing some pretty harsh testing this past summer:
My kidneys have nothing left of them :(


Yup superior German genes - NOT!

I doubt this will go well, nothing else in my life ever has.
Sigh .....

So, coming to terms with this in my mind.
Knowing my end is spelled POTASSIUM poisoning.
Or the more vulgar - massive heart attack.
Maybe a coma first would be nice .....

I was told today it could be as quick as 10 days or as long as years.
There is just no way to actually predict.
They just see from the blood numbers that my kidneys are barely functional.

Personally I will opt for as long as possible.
But, not for me - for my grandkids and kids that still have not figured out life yet!

There is much one could say,
But why bother
No one ever listens in the end in this culture ....

So when my health unwinds, I will be in a coma for up to a week I am told.
No warning
Just a fade away.

Next week I start my planning in preparation.
Arrange and pay for a cremation.
Do a new will.
And sell off as much as possible .....
Get crazy mother to understand she needs to move closer to my sister.
sigh ....

Conference

I am part of a class that was supposed to be cutting edge in dealing with people.  I have less than NO interest, but am trying to be a peace maker by attending.  Long story - sigh!  But, then again, I am just a kindergartner, starting life all over ...

The first week I was utterly clueless.  It was as though there was some unsaid premise they were speaking to.  I was not the only utterly lost person!  It still makes no sense to me.  These are supposed to be really smart people!  So ..... what the heck?

Now, second class and abrupt changes in subject and approach ..... and grasping at long discredited psychology approach.........

So yeah, you may have heard lately of how precognitive psychology not only being valid but the basis of most of your problems.  One of my "family" members spent a fortune on this rather bogus pursuit and in the 1980's this path of finding out why you are so screwed up - was showed to be the very basis for screwing people up!  And though my "brother" scoffed at this discrediting of his psychological crutch, he refused to let go of the idea that all of his problems dated back to poor parenting by his family!  He still blames them for everything!  Apparently he is made out of teflon ....

And now it is back and in the pseudo-Christian realm!   AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

No, I said nothing in the class.  I am not there to fight with only half a brain and I have enough to deal with, without looking for more opportunities!  So, I will continue to go, to think on, to pray over - but it is hard to envision this line of study to be valid ( especially since it has already been discredited by the very science that spawned it decades ago!).

Sigh, Christian political correctness .....

American Assassin

Took myself to a movie yesterday.
First choice was Kingsman, but Swede wants to see this, so must wait.
The only other film of any interest to me is American Assassin.
It was as expected, so I will not rehash what the Army, DOD and DOS tried to do with me.

I was easy to spot in this film - I was the one laughing heartily!  They did a good job for a film whose audience is aimed at 14 year olds and men whom have suffered brain damage or other mental stunting!

On the good side:
Injuries go forward across sequences - no "magic" healings between shots.
Really bad science which will kill you if you mistake this story line for reality!
No nudity!
Alfa Romeo's!

On the bad side:
Don't get too attached to the females, they do not fair well!
Really bad science a trip to the library could have saved the story from!

Biggest flaw is the inability of the writer/director/actors to model the differences between being murderous, a sociopath and/or psychopath!  Yes, it does matter because different behaviors underlie each!

Yeah, I will probably buy this one just for the memories it brought back to this clouded mind ....

Idolatry

We constantly slip into making gods in our own image and fashion ...

Exodus 32\

Why Are We Tempted?
Where do you turn to in times of trouble?
Defines whom God is to you ....

The escaping slaves had just had the Law given to them by Moses ... and within a slink of the eye ... they are building idols ...

What Do We Worship?
Anything that s more important to you than God.
It absorbs your heart and imagination more than God.
Whom or whatever you think can give you, what you think you want - need, which only God cab give you ...

Taking Responsibility
Idolatry leads to self-indulgence and sin
Aaron shifted blame, minimized sin..

And I am quite sure I am just as guilty as Aaron of this as well .....
sigh

Musical Saturday Morning

Psycho Momma

So, coughing and hacking, I did the drive down to mother's and took her shopping for the day.
It seems that this lung condition is not spreadable, so I filed this in the back of my mind to work on.

Mom is of course, a few bricks short of a full load.
And she was in roaring form Wednesday!

She started off with lecturing me about all of the real and imagined goings on in her trailer park!
As Swede commented, it would be so much easier if we had not found out so much of her imagination did not turn out to be real over the past year!
Gees!
Of course, then we had to run into a guy she has had a restraining order against for the past 10 years and arrested numerous times!  I just naively stood between them and he just judged me based on my height and build, like everyone does - shut his mouth and moved along!
Really, I am a pussy cat.
I like to purrrrrr.

Then at lunch she launched into a "why did you_____?" line of attack, recalling all of this stuff from when I was in high school and demanding explanations.
Thank heavens for amnesia, I would have been forced to betray trusts were I to have answered!
And I will not lie.
I will not be my father!
I will not live as my father did!

After lunch came the predictable tirade about how people are damaging her trailer.
In this case, painting black strips on her roof!
It is mold, but you can't tell her anything ....

I side swiped her tantrum by buying her some tea and rhubarb tes!
It was great and made her happy.
I ran her home, unloaded the car and headed home in a blinding rainstorm.
She really needs to get her act together, but that is in the realm of miracle here.

As for me, it is now late at night and tea is no longer keeping me awake ...