A weeks back I wrote about the death of one whom was my antigonist. To me, I respect those whom disagree with me, I just want the ability to discuss. You are welcome to your opinion as long as I am welcome to mine. And Stephen was just that way. No we did not see eye to eye, except on the big stuff: Jesus. LOL, yes it makes me smile to remember him because he would get in my face and we could discuss differing points of view, differing understandings and we were both honest enough to be willing to admit we could be wrong.
I have known few men like him. My fiancee's father, whom violently disliked me, yet stunned me by supporting me when the church was wrong in what they were doing and I called them on it. He also you might remember from earlier blogs sent a life long apology to me through Dutchman - how I wish he could have done that in person! He had no idea how much I loved and respect him! Even if we disagreed for decades over everything!
Stephen and I originally crossed swords because I called one of his friend to account for behavior unbecoming an elder. It was scandle, it was sin, it cost the church hundreds of thousands of dollars in hush money for it to not become public news! But, it did wake him up that perhaps he was too trusting and too willing to sweep under the carpet what the Bible clearly teaches we should be getting into each other's faces over!
And both Dutchman and Swede have this same relationship with me as well! And I respect them for it -
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds from a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
So, that was just the intro to what I really wanted to talk about, Stephen's wife.
Imagine you are in Junior High and you already have met the man of your dreams. You are 7th grade, he is 8th and you know it is only a matter of time ... They married in college and life was wonderful ever after ... until that day at the Gym when he collapsed in the sauna ...
She came to church Sunday, quietly sitting in the Baptist section of the church (last row). I caught a glimpse of her as I was wiggling around and got up and hobbled over to her during a song and asked her to lunch. She accepted.
It was a chance for her to unload at lunch, not many around to do so with, no one wants to be there for her, no one wants to know, no one wants to listen. And I just let her ramble. I understand pain and the inability to formulate the words to express what lay deep inside. I thought about giving her a hug but really, she is vulnerable, so best not to.
As I drove away from lunch, full of Mexican food, I wondered what must life be like to have met someone in junior high and then spent the whole of your life with them? It would have been sweet to have known love so young in life, to not have your heart torn out, to have done everything right and have it turn out so. A life without pain ... yet, pain is now all she knows and she never had faced pain before. Like me, ill equiped to deal with a change requiring defenses which should have been learned young but now in old age having to gain those basic skills of youth.
Yeah, I really feel for her. If you want to join me in prayer this holiday season for her, her name is Peggy. And she faces her first Christmas in over 50 years without him ...
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