September 23, 2013 - God found me in prayer, befuddled by an unexpected occurrance, I had hoped it was to be a change for the better, but it turned out to just be an error someone made.
I went to bed that night frustrated and disappointed. My prayers much different than in the past. I prayed for God to replace me. Previously, I had been praying for restoration, but if I was now percieved as that negative, then just replace me God! Because of my nature I have no real concern for me, it is others whom are important.
And He gave me a vision: people, names, places, and yes even dates. Then I understood just how broken all had become. But, it showed me that God was still in control and what was to follow was Him exercising His sovereignty, and yes answering my pray. Make no mistake He was sovereign before, but He can work with stiff necked people if he has to. Just less than perfect are the outcomes for some.
So, I have seen much unfold since then. Destruction, salvation for others, God moving to continue to show His hand (only they do not still recognize this) and of course, the implosion of Kris and his rebirth (well some would say suicide).
I have thought on this for months now, as all remains on the same path; I watch - I pray, God talks to me when I need to be praying for others. And He shows me answers which often take me months to finally realize what the actual question was. For example my question from earlier in the year, "What makes you human?" I had gone with my acquaintence's definition that it was the ability to empathize with others. But, I have since learned that it is not empathy, it is the ability to understand sin, which defines humanity. Sigh, not the answer I had hoped for.
Yes, inspite of the mess most see, it does all lead somewhere, to His end, for His purpose - and I do praise His name for this.
I just wish it could be a little less painful sometimes ... and alright already! lets get movin' here.
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