Swede came over and after a hardy lunch of enchiladas, we headed over to Half Price Books. He found nothing, I am simply pathetic when it comes to used books! I stumbled back to the car, my arms full of historical books on ocean going wooden ships, oil painting technics and painting theory.
Then off to see a movie neither of us had ever heard of, nor knew anything about, so a bit of a lark.
London Has Fallen, probably began production in 2014 - long before the "problem" facing the western world came about in November 2015, repeated in 2016 - and the western culture is still incapable of calling a rat, a rat. Oh well. They also carefully isolate the Islamic problem in the movie as well - they are just westerners responding in western ways. Yeah, what-ever!
So, a state funeral for the PM of England, all heads of state attend, and all but the US President dies. Historical London is destroyed by and large but the movie only cares that the chase is on to kill the President. No Brit can be trusted as all appear on the take and want the President dead.
Very unrealistic gun battles, car crashes, air crashes, etc. Good attack on London, though not well thought out if this was real life.
The movie is a blood bath from the open sequence to the very end! Yeah, blood guts and gore. One swear word I caught. No nudity (thank you Jesus! they can make a movie without it!). No "situations".
Of course the message of the movie is that we will win, well that is what they want you take away.
But, the other message, is that revenge begets revenge - a message lost in this world of madness.
In all, there were 4 of us in the theater! eepah! A movie not destined to last for long! Personally, I would just avoid it but :
A must see, if you like endless action adventure.
A must own if you are warped like me.
I laughed most of the way through the movie! Very campy!
March 31, 2016
March 30, 2016
A Legless Morning
Sigh ..... life! ..... what are you to do with it! ARGH!!!!!!!
So last evening I have an upset GG laying in the middle of the dining room floor. She is not feeling well and wants compassion but certainly not from me, but I am the only show in town - so she is in the middle of the floor. She is also blocking access to the kitchen.
At some point, I had to go into the kitchen. I deftly stepped around her, did what I had to do and came back. Simple, huh?
Well, not if said body on the floor decides to move a bowl of water for the cat and places it exactly were I have to step! It would have been no biggie if it was my left foot coming down, but no - it had to be my right one - the chopped off one - the one with no feeling at all. Sigh.
So water everywhere!
No biggie you would think, but about half of that water ended up in the shoe with the artificial foot. So, I had to strip down to get the leg off, get the foot out of the shoe - difficult. Then get the matching sock off to what I wear daily, pull the plastic foot of the mechanical insert and then the special material sock that protects the carbon-fiber and titanium foot. None of this is easy as everything is sort of wedged tightly together.
By now, GG has stumbled off to another room. I get paper towels and dry the carpet, start a small load of whites with the special sock in there. And then take on the task of cleaning my leg and foot, washing the foot shell out and setting them out to dry. Dry the whites into the drier and call it an exhausted night as it was midnight by now!
But, this morning I overslept!, then the drier had not done as asked, so I put my special sock on the heater vent and cranked up the heat.
So, I sit here, legless in Seattle waiting.
I have gotten really good at waiting. I would not say that I am patient - more like, "I have lived through worse before, I can survive this" mentality. I can remember one of the worse assignments for me was a group of people whom had done things the same way since 1960 and they refused to change. So, I was brought in to encourage them and show them a better way of doing business. One of those old timers told me in a meeting, "I was here before you, I will be here after you are long gone, so go %$#%^&$^&**(", er, never mind. He died of a heart attack two weeks later. Suddenly, facing a NEW person coming into their group, they were forced to change their ways.
Waiting can be so frustrating.
Well, I need to go check my sock for driness now and hopefully start the reassembly!
ciao!
So last evening I have an upset GG laying in the middle of the dining room floor. She is not feeling well and wants compassion but certainly not from me, but I am the only show in town - so she is in the middle of the floor. She is also blocking access to the kitchen.
At some point, I had to go into the kitchen. I deftly stepped around her, did what I had to do and came back. Simple, huh?
Well, not if said body on the floor decides to move a bowl of water for the cat and places it exactly were I have to step! It would have been no biggie if it was my left foot coming down, but no - it had to be my right one - the chopped off one - the one with no feeling at all. Sigh.
So water everywhere!
No biggie you would think, but about half of that water ended up in the shoe with the artificial foot. So, I had to strip down to get the leg off, get the foot out of the shoe - difficult. Then get the matching sock off to what I wear daily, pull the plastic foot of the mechanical insert and then the special material sock that protects the carbon-fiber and titanium foot. None of this is easy as everything is sort of wedged tightly together.
By now, GG has stumbled off to another room. I get paper towels and dry the carpet, start a small load of whites with the special sock in there. And then take on the task of cleaning my leg and foot, washing the foot shell out and setting them out to dry. Dry the whites into the drier and call it an exhausted night as it was midnight by now!
But, this morning I overslept!, then the drier had not done as asked, so I put my special sock on the heater vent and cranked up the heat.
So, I sit here, legless in Seattle waiting.
I have gotten really good at waiting. I would not say that I am patient - more like, "I have lived through worse before, I can survive this" mentality. I can remember one of the worse assignments for me was a group of people whom had done things the same way since 1960 and they refused to change. So, I was brought in to encourage them and show them a better way of doing business. One of those old timers told me in a meeting, "I was here before you, I will be here after you are long gone, so go %$#%^&$^&**(", er, never mind. He died of a heart attack two weeks later. Suddenly, facing a NEW person coming into their group, they were forced to change their ways.
Waiting can be so frustrating.
Well, I need to go check my sock for driness now and hopefully start the reassembly!
ciao!
March 29, 2016
Narcissism
So, I have decided to talk about what is troubling me. Across the months I can remember - that would be five months now! Main reason is that presently I am in the continued stages of a heart attack - the stress is getting to me - yeah eventually I will take a nitro or two, but I no longer care. Few lives would be affected if I could just quietly be slipped into Heaven ... And, if my passing did matter, well, outside of my eldest daughter, those people seem to be missing around here. An almost total vacuum is not the place for a human to live for very long! And daily, it is the nitro - the aches from hell - and the sweats - and the burning.
I have thought long and hard on my attackers from last week. This is the new Kris here, the one NO one has actually bothered to meet yet. Many have seen, but no one really knows me any more. This is the Kris whom is not going to be the old Kris ever again, should his mind ever return. Yes, old Kris is still missing in action, the brain works lovely - there is just a lifetime of data missing! And, as I mentioned sometime back, I realized I never have to be that person ever again. But, it does not matter, no one bothers to even know me much less notice the huge change in me! Sigh ... I try though.
And I realized that the basis of both attacks, though terribly different in approach, is narcissism - that lovely affliction of this culture we live in. And the surprise of what has brought great stress to me.
Of course, my father was perhaps the supreme example of the narcissus - EVERYTHING could only be validated though his eyes and by his brain. Yes, he was brilliant - in a warped "I want to arm others to destroy the world" kind of way. It is also a sickness of the soul.
Gaelic Girl, not mentioned much any more, was a perfectly normal woman. We shared many adventures through the years and many memories, unfortunately she went to see a counselor a few years after her mother died, as she was having problems dealing with the impact of that death on her, and that was the end of her. This counselor it turns out is quite the man hater - and it seems she was able to get GG to understand years ago that I am the source of all evil in GG's life. Yeah, I am so controlling that I took a diner fry liner manager and paid her way through college because she was smart. I supported her through all of her endeavors, as much as I could in any event, or to the extent of her willingness to take advice. And I never disagreed with her or had a fight with her. I respected her. In the end, she was so wrapped up in the BIG "I" that there was no room for any discussion because she had now decided I was too stupid and too deceitful. Everything, to her, literally revolves around her and her desires. for example, the amputation of my leg and the two year long years of illness before that, was all fakery to gain sympathy it seems and very inconvenient for her and her desires. (thank God, Swede is my witness here and has been my rescuer on many occasions!)
And for the record - because I have sought my entire life to never be my father, any lies are extremely few and far between! The last one I can remember was telling my grandmother on her deathbed that it was alright and I would see her soon. Of course, she was a Christian and I would be seeing her again. But, I "knew" this was the last time here ... And those words still hang heavily on my tongue ... :(
And my attackers, I realized are also attacking from a narcissistic point of reference. As I carefully thought through this, I realized that the sequence of events, as they occurred to GG, are not that far different from these two others.
Narcissism, the desire to see and hear only what you want. To only validate that your feelings are the correct ones - that all others are always wrong, especially if you want them to be. Hmmmmmmmm .....
Keeping this neutral, I can remember GG hounding me to death for daring to change channels on the TV more than once. I actually never went around the dial more than once on the tuner and if nothing was interesting, I turned the TV off. But, her point was you turn on the TV and then watch what was is there! If it is garbage, well you watch it. Really? Just an example - which unfortunately extended to every facet of life between us. sigh ...
Well, at least I have the developing relationships with my grandkids. Too young to know a different me, too young to care - just as long as they get their way. Oldest grand-daughter I encourage to think about others and her friendships. It makes her happy when it works and angry when she finds out that the other friend is stuck on themself ...
Consider yourself and how you think about and treat others. There is a chance you suffer from this totally avoidable thought process. Become a servant to all in your heart, think less of you and yours, more of how "do I show Jesus" to the world. (and yes, you can be a total narcissus and a missionary ... known a few through the years.)
We must make a dent in this world and being stuck on ourselves is not going to accomplish much and only hurt the people around us.
Remember: a servant does the Master's will, not their own ...
I have thought long and hard on my attackers from last week. This is the new Kris here, the one NO one has actually bothered to meet yet. Many have seen, but no one really knows me any more. This is the Kris whom is not going to be the old Kris ever again, should his mind ever return. Yes, old Kris is still missing in action, the brain works lovely - there is just a lifetime of data missing! And, as I mentioned sometime back, I realized I never have to be that person ever again. But, it does not matter, no one bothers to even know me much less notice the huge change in me! Sigh ... I try though.
And I realized that the basis of both attacks, though terribly different in approach, is narcissism - that lovely affliction of this culture we live in. And the surprise of what has brought great stress to me.
Of course, my father was perhaps the supreme example of the narcissus - EVERYTHING could only be validated though his eyes and by his brain. Yes, he was brilliant - in a warped "I want to arm others to destroy the world" kind of way. It is also a sickness of the soul.
Gaelic Girl, not mentioned much any more, was a perfectly normal woman. We shared many adventures through the years and many memories, unfortunately she went to see a counselor a few years after her mother died, as she was having problems dealing with the impact of that death on her, and that was the end of her. This counselor it turns out is quite the man hater - and it seems she was able to get GG to understand years ago that I am the source of all evil in GG's life. Yeah, I am so controlling that I took a diner fry liner manager and paid her way through college because she was smart. I supported her through all of her endeavors, as much as I could in any event, or to the extent of her willingness to take advice. And I never disagreed with her or had a fight with her. I respected her. In the end, she was so wrapped up in the BIG "I" that there was no room for any discussion because she had now decided I was too stupid and too deceitful. Everything, to her, literally revolves around her and her desires. for example, the amputation of my leg and the two year long years of illness before that, was all fakery to gain sympathy it seems and very inconvenient for her and her desires. (thank God, Swede is my witness here and has been my rescuer on many occasions!)
And for the record - because I have sought my entire life to never be my father, any lies are extremely few and far between! The last one I can remember was telling my grandmother on her deathbed that it was alright and I would see her soon. Of course, she was a Christian and I would be seeing her again. But, I "knew" this was the last time here ... And those words still hang heavily on my tongue ... :(
And my attackers, I realized are also attacking from a narcissistic point of reference. As I carefully thought through this, I realized that the sequence of events, as they occurred to GG, are not that far different from these two others.
Narcissism, the desire to see and hear only what you want. To only validate that your feelings are the correct ones - that all others are always wrong, especially if you want them to be. Hmmmmmmmm .....
Keeping this neutral, I can remember GG hounding me to death for daring to change channels on the TV more than once. I actually never went around the dial more than once on the tuner and if nothing was interesting, I turned the TV off. But, her point was you turn on the TV and then watch what was is there! If it is garbage, well you watch it. Really? Just an example - which unfortunately extended to every facet of life between us. sigh ...
Well, at least I have the developing relationships with my grandkids. Too young to know a different me, too young to care - just as long as they get their way. Oldest grand-daughter I encourage to think about others and her friendships. It makes her happy when it works and angry when she finds out that the other friend is stuck on themself ...
Consider yourself and how you think about and treat others. There is a chance you suffer from this totally avoidable thought process. Become a servant to all in your heart, think less of you and yours, more of how "do I show Jesus" to the world. (and yes, you can be a total narcissus and a missionary ... known a few through the years.)
We must make a dent in this world and being stuck on ourselves is not going to accomplish much and only hurt the people around us.
Remember: a servant does the Master's will, not their own ...
March 28, 2016
Easter Weekend
I had some unexpected fun beginning on Friday. My eldest daughter called and need someone to take over kid care as her childcare facility was closed due to the workers all getting ill. Well hang around disease vermin and you are bound to die! LOL!
So, I took off from Seattle at 4:00 and got down there at 5:15. Well, I had to drive through Starbucks first or I never would have made it!
I surprised the kids when I woke them up and they were excited. Trying to do something different for them, we had blueberry bagels and cream cheese. They were not too sure at all over the concept of "bagel". A timid nipple and then the wolves tore in to them! It was a crack up.
Once I had them off to school, I decided to drive over to Bonney Lake, a small town on the hill above Orting. Of course, you have to drive in a big circle to actually get there, but I made it by 9:00 and Ben Franklin being open. Always hunting art supplies!
I was impressed to find they carry local goods and I am always looking for different things as gifts for my family. They had local made blueberry: pancake mix, brownie mix, syrup, jams, chocolate bars and bbq sauce! Wow! The mother lode! So my sister Sommer and my mining partner's wife, both have birthday's next week - so now to wrap and ship something totally different from me! Yup, no gift cards to Famous Dave's this time.
And then daughter had to work on Saturday as well - the Democratic Convention was taking over the high school she works at - so she got to be there. Remember that she was born in the USSR, so grew up under communism - which was little changed under democracy - in her little town in the Caucasus Mountains - so she was infuriated that the idoits of her area would vote for Bernie Sanders! Oh, was she hot Saturday night!
But, I had taken the grandkids back to my town and picked up my other grand-daughter. We dyed eggs, made crafts, ate plenty of "dog food" aka corned beef hash - their favorite and had a great goofy time.
It was a great time for the kids and they had much fun. :)
And yes, I talked about Jesus with them and what the weekend really meant to all mankind. Yeah, the got the message .....
:)
But, Satan, always present to mock and attempt to derail what little is left of Kris - used two special agents to attempt to assassinate me, yet again. Just another constant reminder that am not where I need to be and surrounded by those whom oppose me so violently. Nah, no reason to go into it no one would believe the situations if I told you - that is how I know I am facing Satan here. If it looks like an angel, talks like an angel and only brings destruction your way ..... hmmmmm .....
So, I took off from Seattle at 4:00 and got down there at 5:15. Well, I had to drive through Starbucks first or I never would have made it!
I surprised the kids when I woke them up and they were excited. Trying to do something different for them, we had blueberry bagels and cream cheese. They were not too sure at all over the concept of "bagel". A timid nipple and then the wolves tore in to them! It was a crack up.
Once I had them off to school, I decided to drive over to Bonney Lake, a small town on the hill above Orting. Of course, you have to drive in a big circle to actually get there, but I made it by 9:00 and Ben Franklin being open. Always hunting art supplies!
I was impressed to find they carry local goods and I am always looking for different things as gifts for my family. They had local made blueberry: pancake mix, brownie mix, syrup, jams, chocolate bars and bbq sauce! Wow! The mother lode! So my sister Sommer and my mining partner's wife, both have birthday's next week - so now to wrap and ship something totally different from me! Yup, no gift cards to Famous Dave's this time.
And then daughter had to work on Saturday as well - the Democratic Convention was taking over the high school she works at - so she got to be there. Remember that she was born in the USSR, so grew up under communism - which was little changed under democracy - in her little town in the Caucasus Mountains - so she was infuriated that the idoits of her area would vote for Bernie Sanders! Oh, was she hot Saturday night!
But, I had taken the grandkids back to my town and picked up my other grand-daughter. We dyed eggs, made crafts, ate plenty of "dog food" aka corned beef hash - their favorite and had a great goofy time.
It was a great time for the kids and they had much fun. :)
And yes, I talked about Jesus with them and what the weekend really meant to all mankind. Yeah, the got the message .....
:)
But, Satan, always present to mock and attempt to derail what little is left of Kris - used two special agents to attempt to assassinate me, yet again. Just another constant reminder that am not where I need to be and surrounded by those whom oppose me so violently. Nah, no reason to go into it no one would believe the situations if I told you - that is how I know I am facing Satan here. If it looks like an angel, talks like an angel and only brings destruction your way ..... hmmmmm .....
March 26, 2016
March 25, 2016
Forgotten
I realized last night, thanks to amnesia, I have forgotten the sound of my father's voice. No, I would not like to remember his words - he was overly critical of me my entire life - there never was a kind word in there unfortunately. But, his voice, the sound of his horrible German accent! All lost. I used to like imitating him, it was worse than A-nold's!
I remember that Grandmother had sort of a crackly voice, much like her sister. But, I can barely remember anything about either of them. And my Danish uncle - alas - nothing outside of photographs. Grandmother's last husband, just random pictures, no words. Well, I do remember that he was the haireous man I have ever seen! And having said that, I now remember that my father had hair on his legs like a carpet! I used to drive him crazy petting his legs and asking him to purr, as a child!
Such a personal tragedy, tht loss of memory.
Even to the extent that I have been having to relearn typing! Yeah, my first posts after the surgery took up to 4 or more hours to do - and you know my postings are not that long! Now, it is more like an hour with correcting of mistakes. Yeah the fingers are just not falling predictably on the keyboard. Sigh.
And my one real memory ... oh how I wish I could say that it does not haunt me! But, were it not to exist, it probably would be more productive for me. But, since it does, it is just a source of constant frustration - things I can do nothing about. Oh were God to let me have my will, yeah, things would change big time. But, nothing is my will. I seem confounded and blocked on all sides, at all times. Very frustrating. And it seems for now, I have reached the end of the dream, reality though painful, dictates that hope - is not enough - humans (even me). But, I sit in a vacuum.
For now, I just live day by day by the list. I have to be sure to think through each week and write out daily what it is I need to remember - and then supplement it as the week wears on. I hate lists, I have a fine mind, it just as been damaged for now. Sigh ...
And I pray, and God is constantly answering my prayers. So, I know I am insane nor going sideways for now. Which is fine. If I have to do else, I probably would get really confused. You have no idea the fog I must wade through moment by moment.
Then I try not to forget that I am ultimately headed to southeastern Oregon shortly with my metal detector. I have been researching places to hunt in Oregon. If I had complete liberty, I would go down to the California border as I found something extremely interesting via satellite. But, it would take me days just to get there and I am not so sure I want to run my car over backroads - it is not a 4x4! But, yeah, that and a find I also did via satellite in northeast Oregon will have to wait until I am fully healed - and probably have some healthy help with me. I can no longer climb, nor dive, and those two sites require both. Sigh. I wrote all the info down so they would not be forgotten! Pathetic.
Well, I end this week, looking forward to seeing my grandchildren again. I try to see them every other weekend. I fear forgetting them - as I have almost all else! We are doing a sleep over - so probably corned beef hash and eggs for dinner (their favorite!), rabbit shaped pancakes for Saturday breakfast and then who knows for lunch! Ought to be fun.
Please have a merry and safe Easter weekend!
I remember that Grandmother had sort of a crackly voice, much like her sister. But, I can barely remember anything about either of them. And my Danish uncle - alas - nothing outside of photographs. Grandmother's last husband, just random pictures, no words. Well, I do remember that he was the haireous man I have ever seen! And having said that, I now remember that my father had hair on his legs like a carpet! I used to drive him crazy petting his legs and asking him to purr, as a child!
Such a personal tragedy, tht loss of memory.
Even to the extent that I have been having to relearn typing! Yeah, my first posts after the surgery took up to 4 or more hours to do - and you know my postings are not that long! Now, it is more like an hour with correcting of mistakes. Yeah the fingers are just not falling predictably on the keyboard. Sigh.
And my one real memory ... oh how I wish I could say that it does not haunt me! But, were it not to exist, it probably would be more productive for me. But, since it does, it is just a source of constant frustration - things I can do nothing about. Oh were God to let me have my will, yeah, things would change big time. But, nothing is my will. I seem confounded and blocked on all sides, at all times. Very frustrating. And it seems for now, I have reached the end of the dream, reality though painful, dictates that hope - is not enough - humans (even me). But, I sit in a vacuum.
For now, I just live day by day by the list. I have to be sure to think through each week and write out daily what it is I need to remember - and then supplement it as the week wears on. I hate lists, I have a fine mind, it just as been damaged for now. Sigh ...
And I pray, and God is constantly answering my prayers. So, I know I am insane nor going sideways for now. Which is fine. If I have to do else, I probably would get really confused. You have no idea the fog I must wade through moment by moment.
Then I try not to forget that I am ultimately headed to southeastern Oregon shortly with my metal detector. I have been researching places to hunt in Oregon. If I had complete liberty, I would go down to the California border as I found something extremely interesting via satellite. But, it would take me days just to get there and I am not so sure I want to run my car over backroads - it is not a 4x4! But, yeah, that and a find I also did via satellite in northeast Oregon will have to wait until I am fully healed - and probably have some healthy help with me. I can no longer climb, nor dive, and those two sites require both. Sigh. I wrote all the info down so they would not be forgotten! Pathetic.
Well, I end this week, looking forward to seeing my grandchildren again. I try to see them every other weekend. I fear forgetting them - as I have almost all else! We are doing a sleep over - so probably corned beef hash and eggs for dinner (their favorite!), rabbit shaped pancakes for Saturday breakfast and then who knows for lunch! Ought to be fun.
Please have a merry and safe Easter weekend!
March 24, 2016
A Troubled World
Across the past day, I have had numerous conversations with friends and acquaintances over what has happened in Brussels. Poor Brussels! If you had to pick a town of actually friendly people, this would be it. It is so hard to comprehend evil falling upon them ... but then again ...
Like most of the world, they bought into the lie of the false church which now rules post-WWII Christiandom. So, yeah, spiritually lost. Then they have bent their own interests to the political correctness which has already destroyed a few countries and thrown a dozen others into utter chaos!
At a time when Belgium was being pressured to accept the Islamic invasion of 2015 - the government was approached to offer life to some 12,000 Christians caught between ISIS and the Iraqi army. The refugees had already been vetted, were entire Christian churches fleeing and yet NO European country was willing to offer sanctuary. (One country, Slovenia did and I have expected to see them both protected and prospered for the Slovenian Churches sponsorship of as many as they could!) Among those refusing sanctuary was the USA and Canada. And yet, all of these European countries, the USA and Canada are taking un-vetted "refugees" from the middle east. Even when processed, it turns out that many are from Libya and Lebannon, as well as, some 100,000 deserters from the Iraqi army - in other words: not refugees and most are men, few families. What can be suspected other than this is a set up? (Not popular to know is that some 30,000 "refugees" are already in the US.)
And it has proven so. Across Europe, not reported in the American press: the rape gangs, the rioting, the murders, the trashing of everything - these people have been on a rampage since day one - and continue.
In November, Paris paid heavily for political correctness. Germany and Denmark have been under internal siege since the arrival of the "refugees" - the night belongs to the gangs of "refugees" bringing terror to all they may accost. Sweden is sorry they took any and have been looking at how and where to deport them to. Even Iceland took 1,500 and has been having more than its share of trouble. And now Belgium.
In countries with no ability for civilian self-defense, these "refugees" are having no problems being supplied with military weapons by ISIS, out of Syria. Europeans are sitting ducks. And terror now rules. Countries disrupted, lives taken or disrupted - that is the goal of terrorism. But, remember also that the other goal is conquest.
It is politically unacceptable to admit that we have been at war with RADICAL Islam for 15 years now. No, we are fighting terrorists, they say. Only terrorists are being created out of a vast pool of Islamic and disenfranchised European youth. It is the problem of Vietnam all over again - no ability to identify your enemy. For, today's friend may well in all likelihood be tomorrows enemy!
Yet, Switzerland and America are amongst the few whom allow civilians the right to weapons on a par with what terrorist have access to. Will terrorist acts eventually come to us? Yes, because God is not protecting us - this culture long ago lost His favor. And loss of favor is all that ever protected anyone from evil befalling them. And when favor is withdrawn, well even if you are a real Christian, you may well share in the misery which is to come.
I do not relish the day when anarchy rules, should civilization tremble. On the other hand, my dependence upon modern pharmaceuticals means I will be toast no matter what - no meds for my heart ... well it will not last long by itself. sigh ....
But, for me, my trust is in God and His will and control over my life. To quote a 10th century Russian Rabbi, in Kiev:
"The enemy is at our gates,
You sell all of you have to for silver and gold,
You buy weapons to protect yourself,
Where is your faith in God?"
I imagine this unknown Rabbi, shepherding an unknown Jewish group, facing a Viking attack - suffered the same fate as the rest of Kiev at that time. All we know is what was probably his last message, found in a wax tablet, underneath the fallen timbers of the walls. This man had faith in God alone, he exhorted his people to do the same, and that is all God has ever asked of anyone. (yeah I know, "christians" are squeezing their eyes right now that I am a heretic - just go back and read your Bible until you figure it out! God demands faith of us in Him!)
So, in what ever may come, in what are surely troubled times, always remember that your faith in God is all which will count. Live or Die, life can only be found in Him. And you have to decide how you will react based upon what you know about Him. That knowledge may only be found in the Bible, revealed to you by the Holy Spirit and your future is secure when you understand that God's Word is Jesus..
And remember to pray for the peace of Jerusalem ... that is what all of this is about after all!
Like most of the world, they bought into the lie of the false church which now rules post-WWII Christiandom. So, yeah, spiritually lost. Then they have bent their own interests to the political correctness which has already destroyed a few countries and thrown a dozen others into utter chaos!
At a time when Belgium was being pressured to accept the Islamic invasion of 2015 - the government was approached to offer life to some 12,000 Christians caught between ISIS and the Iraqi army. The refugees had already been vetted, were entire Christian churches fleeing and yet NO European country was willing to offer sanctuary. (One country, Slovenia did and I have expected to see them both protected and prospered for the Slovenian Churches sponsorship of as many as they could!) Among those refusing sanctuary was the USA and Canada. And yet, all of these European countries, the USA and Canada are taking un-vetted "refugees" from the middle east. Even when processed, it turns out that many are from Libya and Lebannon, as well as, some 100,000 deserters from the Iraqi army - in other words: not refugees and most are men, few families. What can be suspected other than this is a set up? (Not popular to know is that some 30,000 "refugees" are already in the US.)
And it has proven so. Across Europe, not reported in the American press: the rape gangs, the rioting, the murders, the trashing of everything - these people have been on a rampage since day one - and continue.
In November, Paris paid heavily for political correctness. Germany and Denmark have been under internal siege since the arrival of the "refugees" - the night belongs to the gangs of "refugees" bringing terror to all they may accost. Sweden is sorry they took any and have been looking at how and where to deport them to. Even Iceland took 1,500 and has been having more than its share of trouble. And now Belgium.
In countries with no ability for civilian self-defense, these "refugees" are having no problems being supplied with military weapons by ISIS, out of Syria. Europeans are sitting ducks. And terror now rules. Countries disrupted, lives taken or disrupted - that is the goal of terrorism. But, remember also that the other goal is conquest.
It is politically unacceptable to admit that we have been at war with RADICAL Islam for 15 years now. No, we are fighting terrorists, they say. Only terrorists are being created out of a vast pool of Islamic and disenfranchised European youth. It is the problem of Vietnam all over again - no ability to identify your enemy. For, today's friend may well in all likelihood be tomorrows enemy!
Yet, Switzerland and America are amongst the few whom allow civilians the right to weapons on a par with what terrorist have access to. Will terrorist acts eventually come to us? Yes, because God is not protecting us - this culture long ago lost His favor. And loss of favor is all that ever protected anyone from evil befalling them. And when favor is withdrawn, well even if you are a real Christian, you may well share in the misery which is to come.
I do not relish the day when anarchy rules, should civilization tremble. On the other hand, my dependence upon modern pharmaceuticals means I will be toast no matter what - no meds for my heart ... well it will not last long by itself. sigh ....
But, for me, my trust is in God and His will and control over my life. To quote a 10th century Russian Rabbi, in Kiev:
"The enemy is at our gates,
You sell all of you have to for silver and gold,
You buy weapons to protect yourself,
Where is your faith in God?"
I imagine this unknown Rabbi, shepherding an unknown Jewish group, facing a Viking attack - suffered the same fate as the rest of Kiev at that time. All we know is what was probably his last message, found in a wax tablet, underneath the fallen timbers of the walls. This man had faith in God alone, he exhorted his people to do the same, and that is all God has ever asked of anyone. (yeah I know, "christians" are squeezing their eyes right now that I am a heretic - just go back and read your Bible until you figure it out! God demands faith of us in Him!)
So, in what ever may come, in what are surely troubled times, always remember that your faith in God is all which will count. Live or Die, life can only be found in Him. And you have to decide how you will react based upon what you know about Him. That knowledge may only be found in the Bible, revealed to you by the Holy Spirit and your future is secure when you understand that God's Word is Jesus..
And remember to pray for the peace of Jerusalem ... that is what all of this is about after all!
March 23, 2016
Dreams
So, still at complete amnesia. Month five now and still nothing that is identifiable as Kris is appearing ... or is there?
Since day one, there has been a reoccurring dream, the same dream every single night - a memory that my brain or God is keeping alive within me. Where I think the logical man would throw his hand up in despair and scream!, it gives me hope, the only hope I have in this life. I would not even bother to try without it.
Then, there was a dream a few weeks ago about French class when I was in fifth grade. A horrible dream, a horrible memory of Kris versus bureaucracy - French bureaucracy.
Now, as of last night came something out of the blue. I have long noticed all of the art stuff around here - supplies and paintings I have done, as well as, the massive four by three foot drawing I did of a 15th century Scottish wedding. I have nothing, no connection with any of them .....
But, I have been having urges, weird desires to draw, to create a certain picture. I can see it as clear as a bell in my mind but I have no ability to either describe it - as my language is not fully restored - nor to actually do it.
And then came the dream last night.
I saw the scene yet again, I "felt" the objects reaching out to me, wanting to be documented. Yeah, weird, but I awoke with the knowledge of how to do this painting! But, now I need just the time to lay this out.
So, I cast my eyes upon a set of brushes behind me and I wonder ....
Yet all of my stuff is for watercolor painting and I "know" that this must be done in oils. Sigh... Do I follow the intuition or do it in watercolor and then later in oils? One thing also I have remembered is the danger of the chemicals used with normal oil paints - and valuing my liver and kidneys, I need to find some water based oils before I try this ..... per the dream.
Strong this urge, I must wonder ...
Since day one, there has been a reoccurring dream, the same dream every single night - a memory that my brain or God is keeping alive within me. Where I think the logical man would throw his hand up in despair and scream!, it gives me hope, the only hope I have in this life. I would not even bother to try without it.
Then, there was a dream a few weeks ago about French class when I was in fifth grade. A horrible dream, a horrible memory of Kris versus bureaucracy - French bureaucracy.
Now, as of last night came something out of the blue. I have long noticed all of the art stuff around here - supplies and paintings I have done, as well as, the massive four by three foot drawing I did of a 15th century Scottish wedding. I have nothing, no connection with any of them .....
But, I have been having urges, weird desires to draw, to create a certain picture. I can see it as clear as a bell in my mind but I have no ability to either describe it - as my language is not fully restored - nor to actually do it.
And then came the dream last night.
I saw the scene yet again, I "felt" the objects reaching out to me, wanting to be documented. Yeah, weird, but I awoke with the knowledge of how to do this painting! But, now I need just the time to lay this out.
So, I cast my eyes upon a set of brushes behind me and I wonder ....
Yet all of my stuff is for watercolor painting and I "know" that this must be done in oils. Sigh... Do I follow the intuition or do it in watercolor and then later in oils? One thing also I have remembered is the danger of the chemicals used with normal oil paints - and valuing my liver and kidneys, I need to find some water based oils before I try this ..... per the dream.
Strong this urge, I must wonder ...
March 22, 2016
An Observation
As you know, I notice things and then think on them.
This past week I have been working in an accounting office helping retirees with their taxes - never mind that I have no clue how to do mine! And yeah, pretty much, every single one of them is the same. They have all been in their 80's and drive 10 to 15 year old cars. Little savings is in the bank and unless they have a pillow filled with cash, they are toast if the car dies.
Most income is generated by social security, some might have a low paying job, some have stock and bonds they are cashing in and others perhaps a rental property, so far only one had a pension.
I always wondered about these ideas. I mean, are they reasonable or not? I have long thought on AARP, no idea if this is reasonable or not either!
Those whom bought stock and bonds - all would have been better off with a savings account! They all lost money due to fees and lower values when cashed out. Hmmmmm.
Those whom took a minimum wage job part time, well at least there is some income there, albeit off set by lower SS payments. Hmmmmm
And rental property with its write offs, a solid tenant and low repair bills will help to about the extent of a minimum wage job. Hmmmmm again!
It saddened me to feel compassion at their plight. Some are driving long distances to dentists, doctors and eye specialists - the medical field is shrinking and the aged are just stuck and growing in humbers! One couple can not even afford to live together any longer, there is just no money. So, they each live with one of their daughters (good daughters!).
Western Washington is the wrong place to live if you are retired. Too high of real estate values, taxes for everything! and a culture that no longer cherishes nor needs them.
I try to do the best for them in getting more back, but only so much is legal and really, even though they all think so: AARP dues are not tax deductive ....
This past week I have been working in an accounting office helping retirees with their taxes - never mind that I have no clue how to do mine! And yeah, pretty much, every single one of them is the same. They have all been in their 80's and drive 10 to 15 year old cars. Little savings is in the bank and unless they have a pillow filled with cash, they are toast if the car dies.
Most income is generated by social security, some might have a low paying job, some have stock and bonds they are cashing in and others perhaps a rental property, so far only one had a pension.
I always wondered about these ideas. I mean, are they reasonable or not? I have long thought on AARP, no idea if this is reasonable or not either!
Those whom bought stock and bonds - all would have been better off with a savings account! They all lost money due to fees and lower values when cashed out. Hmmmmm.
Those whom took a minimum wage job part time, well at least there is some income there, albeit off set by lower SS payments. Hmmmmm
And rental property with its write offs, a solid tenant and low repair bills will help to about the extent of a minimum wage job. Hmmmmm again!
It saddened me to feel compassion at their plight. Some are driving long distances to dentists, doctors and eye specialists - the medical field is shrinking and the aged are just stuck and growing in humbers! One couple can not even afford to live together any longer, there is just no money. So, they each live with one of their daughters (good daughters!).
Western Washington is the wrong place to live if you are retired. Too high of real estate values, taxes for everything! and a culture that no longer cherishes nor needs them.
I try to do the best for them in getting more back, but only so much is legal and really, even though they all think so: AARP dues are not tax deductive ....
March 21, 2016
Ignorance, Self Interest & Radicalism
I find many things to be appalling in this western culture, not the least of which is the complete disinterest general mankind takes concerning history and their surroundings. And never willing to admit they are wrong only complicates matters.
Simple example:
Anders Behring Breivik, Norway's contribution to the world of mass murders, files suit against Norway for cruel and unusual punishment because he has been in solitary ever since he went on a killing spree in downtown Oslo and then at a youth camp later in the day. I think he did away with 8 when he blew up the government building in downtown Oslo (most were on holiday at the time!) and then 16 at the camp. No reason, purely random chance. Though it would appear that his socialist beliefs were conflicting with the Labor Party's, whom had just won the elections. And at his hearing, he greets the judge with the salute of the National Socialist Party aka Nazi's from WWII!
So, you want some compassion from a judge, so why not give the most hated of all salutes in court? The Germans were less than charitable to the Norwegians during the war ... and somehow this will make all things better, I guess? And, nice liberal Norway really needs to reinstate capital punishment just so those whom have shed man's blood, can do the same and as painfully as possible. Sorry but there is this thing called justice this culture believes to be politically incorrect.
Little harder example:
The press has long lied to, mis-directed and misrepresented news and situations. You can trace this back to the earliest history of the United States. And there is a rumbling in the news, ever so faint at the moment, that Pope Francis is up to something evil. Shades of the Anti-Christ? If nothing else, in the world press, this one is being labelled as "liberal satanism".
He has so far met with the Methodists, the Eastern Orthodox Church, Lutherans and Rick Warren. Quite an accomplishment for a Pope! Of course his mincing of words with Obama did not go well, with Francis declaring our President not a Christian! Well, duh, he is at least Islamic if not radicalized by this point in time!
But what is the Pope up to? Opening up to join in fellowship with the Protestant movement or is he a closet Christian?
If you decide to sniff this one out, you will be surprised (or not) by what you find ...
Try and figure this one out!
I like Ravi Zacharias, my Theological work is all in the realm of Apologetic's and so I like to listen to him and how he approaches the concept of "have an answer". He likes to take on the more cerebral matters and questions, which honestly I have no interest in nor use for. I am not a philosopher, nor do I respect those whom believe they are. But, it is interesting to listen to.
Now, a "Berean" group, relying upon you to believe that they are not being self-serving is going after Ravi, worse than they did to the Pope! Really? I actually sat down and spent about two hours going through all of their "proofs" that Ravi has gone sideways - and honestly - it looks more like a question of a literalist screaming because they disagree with a generalist. They never can agree because what a literalist wants is not what a generalist believes is important at all. Add political correctness and suddenly you see that the "Bereans" have lost their way in this world and in fact now deal in the philosophy of the world. Just because you can not agree on what the term doctor means does not make someone a liar, in this case the Bereans were wrong and gave Christians, as well as, Ravi and themselves a black eye. But feel free to figure this one out!
http://bereanresearch.org/on-discerning-ravi-zacharias-its-time-to-say-what-needs-to-be-said/
Simple example:
Anders Behring Breivik, Norway's contribution to the world of mass murders, files suit against Norway for cruel and unusual punishment because he has been in solitary ever since he went on a killing spree in downtown Oslo and then at a youth camp later in the day. I think he did away with 8 when he blew up the government building in downtown Oslo (most were on holiday at the time!) and then 16 at the camp. No reason, purely random chance. Though it would appear that his socialist beliefs were conflicting with the Labor Party's, whom had just won the elections. And at his hearing, he greets the judge with the salute of the National Socialist Party aka Nazi's from WWII!
Little harder example:
The press has long lied to, mis-directed and misrepresented news and situations. You can trace this back to the earliest history of the United States. And there is a rumbling in the news, ever so faint at the moment, that Pope Francis is up to something evil. Shades of the Anti-Christ? If nothing else, in the world press, this one is being labelled as "liberal satanism".
But what is the Pope up to? Opening up to join in fellowship with the Protestant movement or is he a closet Christian?
If you decide to sniff this one out, you will be surprised (or not) by what you find ...
Try and figure this one out!
I like Ravi Zacharias, my Theological work is all in the realm of Apologetic's and so I like to listen to him and how he approaches the concept of "have an answer". He likes to take on the more cerebral matters and questions, which honestly I have no interest in nor use for. I am not a philosopher, nor do I respect those whom believe they are. But, it is interesting to listen to.
http://bereanresearch.org/on-discerning-ravi-zacharias-its-time-to-say-what-needs-to-be-said/
March 19, 2016
Musical Saturday Morning
Let us fly far away
You and I far away
Between the sea and the sky
Mirror ourselves in the stars
Hand in hand forever more
You and I with love
Levitate over Mountains and Fjords
You and I into the night's forest
Come with me, come with me, come with me...
Let us fly far away
You and I far away
Between the sea and the sky
Mirror ourselves in the stars
Hand in hand forever more
You and I with love
Levitate over Mountains and Fjords
You and I into the night's silence
You and I far away
Between the sea and the sky
Mirror ourselves in the stars
Hand in hand forever more
You and I with love
Levitate over Mountains and Fjords
You and I into the night's forest
Come with me, come with me, come with me...
Let us fly far away
You and I far away
Between the sea and the sky
Mirror ourselves in the stars
Hand in hand forever more
You and I with love
Levitate over Mountains and Fjords
You and I into the night's silence
March 18, 2016
Work
So, in April 2010, I had the joy of returning from my father's funeral to find that my customers work statements had been transferred to India. My sponsoring organization had their work statement transferred to India as well. And surprise, surprise, with no employer, since they were now in India, and no customers, since there were logically there as well - no job. And thus ended a relationship stretching back to 1978. It was great for them and for me. No complaints.
But since 2010 I have found that it is all but impossible to find work if you are over 45. Were it not that I had children, I would have relocated, because there is work to be found, just not on the youth worshiping west coast of the United States. Even in Alaska, there is work to be found but not here. Sigh.
I went to college for several years. That was fun. I was older than the instructors and often ended up having to tutor the teachers in their subjects. Books do not necessarily always tell you everything and they had no real life experience. But in my last quarter, an auto accident ended my scholastic pursuits. And that accident eventually almost ended my life, as the injuries progressed to get worse across 2014 and 2015. It certainly changed my life in ways I never could have imagined.
And, I have contemplated where I am in life - what are my assets, what are my liabilities, what is it I think I can now do? Well, I have a fast and somewhat impressive mind, if I my say so. Others comment on that often to me with out any prompting from me. But, I have complete and total amnesia. Oh, I am relearning things - but there are no memories and any "memories" are what others have told me and not mine at all. Yes, to be perfectly honest, I do have one series of real memories and I think that is true only because God needs to use them in the future and there is no one to remind me or trigger them - and I apparently need ownership of them. So, in general, I sit on my thumbs not knowing what to do.
I set out this year to do a series of antiques show to pay off my debts and God has blessed me in that regard. I am inching my way out of debt as well as expanding my abilities by getting a car this week!
Then with a car comes the ability to do something for supplemental income to the royalties I live off of. Thank God for those IBM royalties or my boat would have been sunk long ago!
So, at 9:00 this morning I report to an accounting firm, to do something which I have found abhorrent my entire life - tax work!
The job really came out of thin air! I had not even begun my search when I had a call from a guy, whom heard from a friend - of a friend - of a friend - that I might be available on a part time basis. Well, okay, that could be God working here! So, short term, only one month - three days a week - but you know that money will all contribute to the "Get Kris Out of Debt Fund"!
Now can I remember to get out of bed, make a sandwich where this place is?
LOL
But since 2010 I have found that it is all but impossible to find work if you are over 45. Were it not that I had children, I would have relocated, because there is work to be found, just not on the youth worshiping west coast of the United States. Even in Alaska, there is work to be found but not here. Sigh.
I went to college for several years. That was fun. I was older than the instructors and often ended up having to tutor the teachers in their subjects. Books do not necessarily always tell you everything and they had no real life experience. But in my last quarter, an auto accident ended my scholastic pursuits. And that accident eventually almost ended my life, as the injuries progressed to get worse across 2014 and 2015. It certainly changed my life in ways I never could have imagined.
And, I have contemplated where I am in life - what are my assets, what are my liabilities, what is it I think I can now do? Well, I have a fast and somewhat impressive mind, if I my say so. Others comment on that often to me with out any prompting from me. But, I have complete and total amnesia. Oh, I am relearning things - but there are no memories and any "memories" are what others have told me and not mine at all. Yes, to be perfectly honest, I do have one series of real memories and I think that is true only because God needs to use them in the future and there is no one to remind me or trigger them - and I apparently need ownership of them. So, in general, I sit on my thumbs not knowing what to do.
I set out this year to do a series of antiques show to pay off my debts and God has blessed me in that regard. I am inching my way out of debt as well as expanding my abilities by getting a car this week!
Then with a car comes the ability to do something for supplemental income to the royalties I live off of. Thank God for those IBM royalties or my boat would have been sunk long ago!
So, at 9:00 this morning I report to an accounting firm, to do something which I have found abhorrent my entire life - tax work!
The job really came out of thin air! I had not even begun my search when I had a call from a guy, whom heard from a friend - of a friend - of a friend - that I might be available on a part time basis. Well, okay, that could be God working here! So, short term, only one month - three days a week - but you know that money will all contribute to the "Get Kris Out of Debt Fund"!
Now can I remember to get out of bed, make a sandwich where this place is?
LOL
March 17, 2016
Was It Worth It?
I have thought on posting this for over four months. Sometimes my mind would lose it and I could not remember what I wanted to say and other times I would remember but other topics had precedent.
So much of my life was spent watching and wondering. I had no emotions, none at all, and I marveled at them when I saw them. I would think, "What are they thinking, what are they feeling, how does thinking and feeling modify the context of a moment?"
Yeah, well, those were unanswerable questions.
I hired someone to help me communicate better with people. I was highly paid as a communicator. I could see each side of an issue and then express the desires of one side to the other, and visa-versa. I got lots of awards for this. But, I needed to be able to understand people better - and my consultant - well, was less than flattering at the end of his 90 day review. I did not have the ability to come over to the human side.
But, God saw fit to "whack" me with revelation after revelation, change after change across a 2 year period. Nothing was as I had expected. I did not understand more, nor better, I was now in a constant state of confusion. People say one thing and then do an entirely different thing. "Love" is not Love, it is whatever makes them comfortable - no commitment, no willingness to be honest - almost EVERYONE is a liar it seems.
I always had thought that Love was the ultimate pursuit, that there was an equality within it: truth, trust, transparency, friendship - without anyone of these, Love could not exist. But, finding these qualities seems a bit hard to do in real life.
Truth is modified to fit with desires or situations, everyone cloaks whom they really are behind layers of lies. But without truth, there can be no trust. And without trust there can be no transparency. Without transparency, friendship is not going to exist. Without any one of these, well I was right, there can be no Love. Sure love can be found in abounds but no, it is not the real thing.
We sell ourselves short, willing to be less than truthful, less than trusting and with no transparency - after-all we need to protect ourselves, right? Add self interest into the mix and now we can manipulate (or think we can) love to be what we want. As an added bonus we add terms and condition which have nothing to do with Love, but rather in fact negate it. But, alas, as example has shown - we make fools of ourselves and one another.
I think I can now say I understand emotions in all of their many variations - some experienced, some by observation - and I might have been better off without them. I have cried nightly for almost two years over the exploits of those I care for, as well as, personal pain inflected upon me with seemingly no regard by others. Well, at least when I was not medicated out of my mind (which was a big part of last year).
I had expected joy, and there were moments of it, but by and large there are longer moments of pain. I guess that writers, poets and song writers either have selective memory or never have found real Love. I did discover real Love; unconditional, not dependent upon me nor my feeling, not dependent upon another nor their feelings. It did bring me overwhelming joy - much to the consternation of others. I, "am just too happy!", as numerous people told me. Sorry, I quested my entire life and then it found me, independent of me and I knew unspeakable joy.
Yet with it comes pain, as nothing is as it should be in my life. People are not whom they should be. And so I just live day by day, knowing of the joy which lives in me - unable to share it with anyone - for there are none in my midst I can trust. So, in reality, does it have any real worth?
Perhaps the future may show change and then these humanizations by God within me will be of value. But, until then ... I can only hope and pray to live a life uncloaked, in the open, where joy will no more be understood than I am.
Sigh ....
So much of my life was spent watching and wondering. I had no emotions, none at all, and I marveled at them when I saw them. I would think, "What are they thinking, what are they feeling, how does thinking and feeling modify the context of a moment?"
Yeah, well, those were unanswerable questions.
I hired someone to help me communicate better with people. I was highly paid as a communicator. I could see each side of an issue and then express the desires of one side to the other, and visa-versa. I got lots of awards for this. But, I needed to be able to understand people better - and my consultant - well, was less than flattering at the end of his 90 day review. I did not have the ability to come over to the human side.
But, God saw fit to "whack" me with revelation after revelation, change after change across a 2 year period. Nothing was as I had expected. I did not understand more, nor better, I was now in a constant state of confusion. People say one thing and then do an entirely different thing. "Love" is not Love, it is whatever makes them comfortable - no commitment, no willingness to be honest - almost EVERYONE is a liar it seems.
I always had thought that Love was the ultimate pursuit, that there was an equality within it: truth, trust, transparency, friendship - without anyone of these, Love could not exist. But, finding these qualities seems a bit hard to do in real life.
Truth is modified to fit with desires or situations, everyone cloaks whom they really are behind layers of lies. But without truth, there can be no trust. And without trust there can be no transparency. Without transparency, friendship is not going to exist. Without any one of these, well I was right, there can be no Love. Sure love can be found in abounds but no, it is not the real thing.
We sell ourselves short, willing to be less than truthful, less than trusting and with no transparency - after-all we need to protect ourselves, right? Add self interest into the mix and now we can manipulate (or think we can) love to be what we want. As an added bonus we add terms and condition which have nothing to do with Love, but rather in fact negate it. But, alas, as example has shown - we make fools of ourselves and one another.
I think I can now say I understand emotions in all of their many variations - some experienced, some by observation - and I might have been better off without them. I have cried nightly for almost two years over the exploits of those I care for, as well as, personal pain inflected upon me with seemingly no regard by others. Well, at least when I was not medicated out of my mind (which was a big part of last year).
I had expected joy, and there were moments of it, but by and large there are longer moments of pain. I guess that writers, poets and song writers either have selective memory or never have found real Love. I did discover real Love; unconditional, not dependent upon me nor my feeling, not dependent upon another nor their feelings. It did bring me overwhelming joy - much to the consternation of others. I, "am just too happy!", as numerous people told me. Sorry, I quested my entire life and then it found me, independent of me and I knew unspeakable joy.
Yet with it comes pain, as nothing is as it should be in my life. People are not whom they should be. And so I just live day by day, knowing of the joy which lives in me - unable to share it with anyone - for there are none in my midst I can trust. So, in reality, does it have any real worth?
Perhaps the future may show change and then these humanizations by God within me will be of value. But, until then ... I can only hope and pray to live a life uncloaked, in the open, where joy will no more be understood than I am.
Sigh ....
March 16, 2016
Think You Can Follow?
Of course, having the Gospels to read, we know rather quickly what all is going on and where things are going, But, for the Disciples, they were having to live it day by day and they never saw that train coming!
In Mark 10:32-45, Jesus spells it out to them - again!- what is going to happen only weeks away. And they did not get it ... They wanted to be great in Jesus' foretold kingdom, the bad news, well let us just skip over that and get to the good stuff here Lord!
Live With The Consequences of Your Convictions
Jesus: I am going to die!
He says this eight times in the book of Mark.
It is the plan, it is His goal.
His accepted conviction: I am going to carry a cross and die on it.
Do you really think you want to follow me?
Live "Its not about me" Life
To the world, greatness is me, white teeth, hair, car, home, beautiful people, perfect lives.
To Jesus, greatness is my being a servant, lifting up others.
James and John wanted power, position, wealth - and they called first debs!
The others were jealous that they got caught unawares and could not call debs first!
The Disciples were CLUELESS!
Give Yourself Away
Remember:
But, in Jesus' Kingdom, there is not a hierarchy of elite. Wealth, power, fame, beauty, money. position, pedigree are all meaningless. It is the humbleness of your spirit before God that He desires.
Anyone can be a servant.
Therefore, anyone can be amongst the greatest before God.
I have often thought on these verses. At one Bible study a guy named Dave said that Billy Graham surely would be amongst the greatest. I commented that it was probably the janitor that had to clean the toilets after Dave had been in there! Some laughed, Dave hauled off and hit me - making my point for me.
Nothing against Billy Graham, I wish I had been called to spread God's Word to the world's millions. But, that is not the role I was cast in. Nor it seems was I to be the one to clean the toilets. But, you have to do as asked - to serve Him, not yourself and often against the very fiber of your being. God seems to like to stretch us beyond what we ever thought we were capable of.
I wish I knew the future. I wish I knew what God is going to do with me. But, in time, clueless Kris will learn - just as those Disciples did - what is coming and I hope I am ready for that train when it appears!
In Mark 10:32-45, Jesus spells it out to them - again!- what is going to happen only weeks away. And they did not get it ... They wanted to be great in Jesus' foretold kingdom, the bad news, well let us just skip over that and get to the good stuff here Lord!
Live With The Consequences of Your Convictions
Jesus: I am going to die!
He says this eight times in the book of Mark.
It is the plan, it is His goal.
His accepted conviction: I am going to carry a cross and die on it.
Do you really think you want to follow me?
Live "Its not about me" Life
To the world, greatness is me, white teeth, hair, car, home, beautiful people, perfect lives.
To Jesus, greatness is my being a servant, lifting up others.
James and John wanted power, position, wealth - and they called first debs!
The others were jealous that they got caught unawares and could not call debs first!
The Disciples were CLUELESS!
Give Yourself Away
Remember:
- Be like a child
- Be like a slave
- Lead by example
But, in Jesus' Kingdom, there is not a hierarchy of elite. Wealth, power, fame, beauty, money. position, pedigree are all meaningless. It is the humbleness of your spirit before God that He desires.
Anyone can be a servant.
Therefore, anyone can be amongst the greatest before God.
I have often thought on these verses. At one Bible study a guy named Dave said that Billy Graham surely would be amongst the greatest. I commented that it was probably the janitor that had to clean the toilets after Dave had been in there! Some laughed, Dave hauled off and hit me - making my point for me.
Nothing against Billy Graham, I wish I had been called to spread God's Word to the world's millions. But, that is not the role I was cast in. Nor it seems was I to be the one to clean the toilets. But, you have to do as asked - to serve Him, not yourself and often against the very fiber of your being. God seems to like to stretch us beyond what we ever thought we were capable of.
I wish I knew the future. I wish I knew what God is going to do with me. But, in time, clueless Kris will learn - just as those Disciples did - what is coming and I hope I am ready for that train when it appears!
March 15, 2016
The Show
I loaded my car on Wednesday. I knew it would exhaust me to do so but I wanted to be as fresh as I could be for set up and on Friday. In the process, came the discover that a box had been stolen during the pack out at the February show. Of course it had to be the one with my best beer steins (about $400 in cost to me) and all of my collector knives (over $2000 in cost!) - so I was utterly bummed out. To say the least.
Of course, mother freaked out and refused to come to the show. I tried to get my knife friend to come and take her spot, but he was working a real job over the weekend. My only other friends in sales only handle firearms, which are not allowed. So, now I had two booths to fill!
God was with me and I was in the building, unloaded and out in 13 minutes of the gate opening! WOW!
And then I sat there and pondered how do I take up two booth areas with only enough tables and goodies for one? And I sat there. One hour, two hours, three hours - until I had drawn up a plan that would work. And in reality it worked very well.
Luckily I had bought three extra tables when mother had started making "I am going to be weird" noises. I also went out and bought some nice green pastel cotton as table covers and made up a light tan label for each item.
It looked sweet and the show operators singled me for most attractive display ... Again, WOW!
But, it was a horrible weekend of wind and rain and pretty close to no one came to the show. So, lots of time to sit and think. And thinking, is always bad for me these days - so little is left of my mind ... And of the issues in my life, there are no simple answers, nor timely ones.
The typical show bully came through to tell me that my mining mercury crock, found on the Klama River in California, was for curing syphilis, not for mining, and certainly not worth a 15th of what it is - with a chip. I thanked him and offered that he should seek treatment for his. He stomped off. I was steamed, I really dislike the show bullies and there is always one. But, I remembered to turn it over to God and the irritation washed from me and I could be nice again and not grumpy old Kris.
My show friends Kim and Rick were there and we had a chance to visit, due to the low show turn out. I really love these brothers. Rick is the twin of my great-uncle Leonard, whom was the father I never had. He is also really nice, just like Leonard, a gentle-man in spirit. Kim is a hoot and there is always much laughter when we can talk, I think his wife is worried I am going to ruin him or turn him into a comedian! Oh how we laugh!
The show manager came by with her husband in tow. He is a German and we talked long about his life in Germany and the Ukraine, his grandparents in the Ukraine and their fleeing Russia just before WWII erupted. He had never heard of "Operation Barbarossa" - Hitlers scorched Earth policy towards the Ukrainian Germans whom did not support him. He killed off all of the Russians and Jews as well. Nor had he heard about the women, still held in the eastern camps, marched out of Berlin in 1945 and used as wives and sex slaves by the Russian Army and timber cutters.
Yes, we both cried real tears.
He came back on Sunday to buy a beer stein from me. But, you have to understand that this dear man is quite old and not all there some of the time. He was not there then. He was just responding to a memory that I was a friend and wanted to buy something. We talked about steins and beer - his mind slowly returned and he was able to remember he did not want nor need a stein. As he left ... I was proud of the new me. Old me would have sold him the stein but new me knew he did not need nor want one. He wandered off and I knew I was on the right path for the new me - that I want to be.
I found some odd kitchen antiques I intend to keep. A mayonnaise maker, which everyone has scoffed at because it is not electric - but I learned to make this with a bowl and a whisk in France! This 1930's contraption is much nicer! Again a 1930's blue cobalt lemon squeezer with a separate bowl - I hate having to flip seeds out with a knife from the one I currently usae. A stoneware refrigerator dish with lid. A book on the German secret service and the original Sad Sack book from WWII - call that issue number 1! And lest I forget, six buck saws as were used by loggers. I intend to paint them with mountain/forest scenes and sell them at my October/November shows. You never know, they might sell .... But one has beautiful steel and I expect to chop it up and make some knives out of it. Might work ...
And a joke I heard and almost died over:
How come the cows keep returning to the pot field?
Because the pot keeps calling the cattle back!
Oh gosh I thought I would fall over I was laughing so hard!
ciao!
Of course, mother freaked out and refused to come to the show. I tried to get my knife friend to come and take her spot, but he was working a real job over the weekend. My only other friends in sales only handle firearms, which are not allowed. So, now I had two booths to fill!
God was with me and I was in the building, unloaded and out in 13 minutes of the gate opening! WOW!
And then I sat there and pondered how do I take up two booth areas with only enough tables and goodies for one? And I sat there. One hour, two hours, three hours - until I had drawn up a plan that would work. And in reality it worked very well.
Luckily I had bought three extra tables when mother had started making "I am going to be weird" noises. I also went out and bought some nice green pastel cotton as table covers and made up a light tan label for each item.
It looked sweet and the show operators singled me for most attractive display ... Again, WOW!
But, it was a horrible weekend of wind and rain and pretty close to no one came to the show. So, lots of time to sit and think. And thinking, is always bad for me these days - so little is left of my mind ... And of the issues in my life, there are no simple answers, nor timely ones.
The typical show bully came through to tell me that my mining mercury crock, found on the Klama River in California, was for curing syphilis, not for mining, and certainly not worth a 15th of what it is - with a chip. I thanked him and offered that he should seek treatment for his. He stomped off. I was steamed, I really dislike the show bullies and there is always one. But, I remembered to turn it over to God and the irritation washed from me and I could be nice again and not grumpy old Kris.
My show friends Kim and Rick were there and we had a chance to visit, due to the low show turn out. I really love these brothers. Rick is the twin of my great-uncle Leonard, whom was the father I never had. He is also really nice, just like Leonard, a gentle-man in spirit. Kim is a hoot and there is always much laughter when we can talk, I think his wife is worried I am going to ruin him or turn him into a comedian! Oh how we laugh!
The show manager came by with her husband in tow. He is a German and we talked long about his life in Germany and the Ukraine, his grandparents in the Ukraine and their fleeing Russia just before WWII erupted. He had never heard of "Operation Barbarossa" - Hitlers scorched Earth policy towards the Ukrainian Germans whom did not support him. He killed off all of the Russians and Jews as well. Nor had he heard about the women, still held in the eastern camps, marched out of Berlin in 1945 and used as wives and sex slaves by the Russian Army and timber cutters.
Yes, we both cried real tears.
He came back on Sunday to buy a beer stein from me. But, you have to understand that this dear man is quite old and not all there some of the time. He was not there then. He was just responding to a memory that I was a friend and wanted to buy something. We talked about steins and beer - his mind slowly returned and he was able to remember he did not want nor need a stein. As he left ... I was proud of the new me. Old me would have sold him the stein but new me knew he did not need nor want one. He wandered off and I knew I was on the right path for the new me - that I want to be.
I found some odd kitchen antiques I intend to keep. A mayonnaise maker, which everyone has scoffed at because it is not electric - but I learned to make this with a bowl and a whisk in France! This 1930's contraption is much nicer! Again a 1930's blue cobalt lemon squeezer with a separate bowl - I hate having to flip seeds out with a knife from the one I currently usae. A stoneware refrigerator dish with lid. A book on the German secret service and the original Sad Sack book from WWII - call that issue number 1! And lest I forget, six buck saws as were used by loggers. I intend to paint them with mountain/forest scenes and sell them at my October/November shows. You never know, they might sell .... But one has beautiful steel and I expect to chop it up and make some knives out of it. Might work ...
And a joke I heard and almost died over:
How come the cows keep returning to the pot field?
Because the pot keeps calling the cattle back!
Oh gosh I thought I would fall over I was laughing so hard!
ciao!
March 14, 2016
Politics
I spend most of my social media time on Seen.Is, an Icelandic site open to people the world over. There are some real whack jobs on there, but there is also a community which makes me think. And, unfortunately ...
Everyone is discussing politics! I hate it! Aargh! Like anyone cares day to day the Junior High-ish drama being placed out in the tabloid press, on the news, on the internet over the "to the minute" status of any of these goof-balls running for US office!
Lord, help this country, much less this world, if any of these losers actually ends up in office - and the odds are awfully good one of the them will. :(
For years I have voted against people, never actually for someone. My politically suave friends chide me for wasting my votes - but if you are appalled by the choice - is there actually a choice? And, as a Christian, if the candidate does not actually support what I believe in with more than just words - nope, I will not vote for you.
And now, as I write this, there are still five major contenders for this country's top office and not a one of them is actually qualified that I can find.
As I explained to Swede, as well as other diners listening in on our conversation, when we got into it this last week - can you really imagine Merkel, much less Putin, at a table with one of America's choices and have those actual world leaders walk away from the table without dying of laughter? Yeah, embarrassing.
Certainly, I have no desire to be president of anything. Besides, I am foreign born, of a foreign father and constitutionally not eligible - just like Obama and for that matter Cruz. Of course, anymore the rule of law has been overcome by the rule of emotion.
Even at this late date, I am still awaiting an actual candidate to appear. No not an agenda driven maniac like Bloomberg nor an egotist like Romney, just someone real and of substance in the realm of humanity.
Where are the Dag Hammarskjöld, of this country? MEN of COMPASSION, of CHARACTER, of HONOR. Sure you can throw mud at Dag, but I remember him in my youth as someone to look up to - and I did.
I want someone I can look up to, to vote for now ...
Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is discussing politics! I hate it! Aargh! Like anyone cares day to day the Junior High-ish drama being placed out in the tabloid press, on the news, on the internet over the "to the minute" status of any of these goof-balls running for US office!
Lord, help this country, much less this world, if any of these losers actually ends up in office - and the odds are awfully good one of the them will. :(
For years I have voted against people, never actually for someone. My politically suave friends chide me for wasting my votes - but if you are appalled by the choice - is there actually a choice? And, as a Christian, if the candidate does not actually support what I believe in with more than just words - nope, I will not vote for you.
And now, as I write this, there are still five major contenders for this country's top office and not a one of them is actually qualified that I can find.
As I explained to Swede, as well as other diners listening in on our conversation, when we got into it this last week - can you really imagine Merkel, much less Putin, at a table with one of America's choices and have those actual world leaders walk away from the table without dying of laughter? Yeah, embarrassing.
Certainly, I have no desire to be president of anything. Besides, I am foreign born, of a foreign father and constitutionally not eligible - just like Obama and for that matter Cruz. Of course, anymore the rule of law has been overcome by the rule of emotion.
Even at this late date, I am still awaiting an actual candidate to appear. No not an agenda driven maniac like Bloomberg nor an egotist like Romney, just someone real and of substance in the realm of humanity.
Where are the Dag Hammarskjöld, of this country? MEN of COMPASSION, of CHARACTER, of HONOR. Sure you can throw mud at Dag, but I remember him in my youth as someone to look up to - and I did.
I want someone I can look up to, to vote for now ...
Is that too much to ask for?
March 12, 2016
Musical Saturday Morning
Well, you are going to have a more exciting weekend than I, I get to do yet another antique show! Hopefully, this will yield the desired 1/12 of my debt I am looking to clobber this year. Not going to complain if it is more though :)
Enjoy ....
Enjoy ....
March 11, 2016
Favorite Verse
A few Sunday's ago, I was seated at church, enjoying some
tea and trying to wake up. It was my first Sunday back to church since
the surgeries in October. A lady came and sat opposite me at the table in the
foyer. She was into coffee and cookies. She chatted with many
people whom were walking by and then turned her undesired attention to me. You have
to remember, I swore off ever talking to another female again, whom I did not
already know back in 2012. I also am less than excited by 99.9% of all
those claim to be male. Quite simply finished with what calls itself
"human" (and for some reason God chose to die for each of us ... a true mystery ... sigh).
Then this unknown woman, I am trying to ignore, is
pushing me for an answer as to what is my favorite verse. I explain to
her about this curse of amnesia and how I am lucky on most days to even
remember my own name!
Then I remembered 1John ?:7-9. Aargh! But
what chapter for the life of me I could not remember on the spot. So, she
flipped open 1 John and decided that chapter 1 must be the correct one.
Unfortunately, later I remembered it was actually chapter 4. Whatever,
they both say basically the same thing.
But as the day clicked by, I thought on this interesting
idea of having a favorite verse. Again, nothing swam through the fog of
my mind to trigger any memory, much less why there would be such a thing as a
favorite verse. John's concept of Light and Truth being the same, that
Love is what transcends our humanity, that God is Light/Truth/Love. So
terribly interesting to my mind ... again, mystery.
And my mind now grows tired. It is so hard to try and
think outside the black hole which is my mind. Even just remembering this
has exhausted me more than I can understand.
Luckily, I have not had to see her again. I am quite
adamant about the end of my personal friendliness towards those whom I do not
know. Yeah, I understand that is not whom I am, I am generally really
friendly, but history has shown I trust too easily and given the level of
damage I have sustained across the past recent years - it just is not worth the cost
I have paid.
And I have to admit that many of those I can remember from the other side of 2012, yeah, I have little trust in them either. It seems I live in a "let's do lunch, I'll call you" culture.
"Ya, sure you betcha - I ain't ever going to hear from you again, Slim."
But, God has seen fit to place a small group of people directly in my path - very frustrating, but if God is moving, I will respond and then be left to wonder about why He does as He does. All things go somewhere but I longer have the ability to see where, so I have to just trudge along in faith - my mind watching and relearning ...
March 10, 2016
The Problem of Wealth
Okay, so in Mark 10:17-22 we are told about the rich young ruler. And Mark continues Peter memory with Mark 10:23-31! The young man was rebuffed by Jesus for his wealth. That wealth would eventually become a real problem for him.
Augustine is quoted as having said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You." The worries of this world rarely relent enough to actually allow us to rest. Wealth, personal relationships, children!, jobs, the daily stresses all rob us of our rest. But, those whom have wealth have a worse time of it as they stress over losing what they have, or maintaining what their inherited, or worse yet - how to gather more wealth!
Admit You Are Rich
Do you have a place to live?
Do you have a room?
Do you own stuff?
Do you own a car?
Do you own a change of clothes?
Do you have food for tomorrow?
If you answered yes, just once, you are richer than the majority of the population of this planet. And if you are rich, they you have a bit of responsibility to consider.
Murder The Myth of Wealth
Does money bring happiness?
Does money bring importance?
Does money bring security?
Does money bring God's Blessing?
No, money/wealth/materialism/power are all falsely shown by supposed Christians to be proof of God's approval!
It is a falsehood to look for friends, respect or money as signs of God's blessing on you.
Prosperity versus Poverty ... neither are Biblical proofs of anything.
You must look to your heart to see where you really stand with God.
Realize The Roadblocks Money Creates
It is doubtful that Jesus actually was saying "camel" rather than a rope using in shipping.
However, the ridiculousness of the saying is apparent either way, you can neither stuff a camel or a hope through the eye of a needle.
It is impossible.
Children were being blocked from hearing Jesus or coming to Him.
The rich can become Christians, but it is very hard.
Consider:
The question of serving two masters
The story of Lazarus and the rich man
The story of the rich fool
It does not look well for a rich man when facing God.
Master Money or Be Mastered By It
God versus wealth - or two conflicting masters!
Matthew 6:21, "...where your treasure is..."
The thought that shows our allegiance is at best shaky towards God.
What is your wealth doing to you?
Which are you actually serving?
See Temporal Things Through Eternal Eyes
The short of it:
The rich are all going to die.
The poor are all going to die.
Not one of us will make it out of this life alive, save for the rapture.
So there is no difference between any of us, in front of God's eyes.
You can live as a slave for God.
Or a slave of money/wealth/materialism.
And you will be rewarded appropriately.
Augustine is quoted as having said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You." The worries of this world rarely relent enough to actually allow us to rest. Wealth, personal relationships, children!, jobs, the daily stresses all rob us of our rest. But, those whom have wealth have a worse time of it as they stress over losing what they have, or maintaining what their inherited, or worse yet - how to gather more wealth!
Admit You Are Rich
Do you have a place to live?
Do you have a room?
Do you own stuff?
Do you own a car?
Do you own a change of clothes?
Do you have food for tomorrow?
If you answered yes, just once, you are richer than the majority of the population of this planet. And if you are rich, they you have a bit of responsibility to consider.
Murder The Myth of Wealth
Does money bring happiness?
Does money bring importance?
Does money bring security?
Does money bring God's Blessing?
No, money/wealth/materialism/power are all falsely shown by supposed Christians to be proof of God's approval!
It is a falsehood to look for friends, respect or money as signs of God's blessing on you.
Prosperity versus Poverty ... neither are Biblical proofs of anything.
You must look to your heart to see where you really stand with God.
Realize The Roadblocks Money Creates
It is doubtful that Jesus actually was saying "camel" rather than a rope using in shipping.
However, the ridiculousness of the saying is apparent either way, you can neither stuff a camel or a hope through the eye of a needle.
It is impossible.
Children were being blocked from hearing Jesus or coming to Him.
The rich can become Christians, but it is very hard.
Consider:
The question of serving two masters
The story of Lazarus and the rich man
The story of the rich fool
It does not look well for a rich man when facing God.
Master Money or Be Mastered By It
God versus wealth - or two conflicting masters!
Matthew 6:21, "...where your treasure is..."
The thought that shows our allegiance is at best shaky towards God.
What is your wealth doing to you?
Which are you actually serving?
See Temporal Things Through Eternal Eyes
The short of it:
The rich are all going to die.
The poor are all going to die.
Not one of us will make it out of this life alive, save for the rapture.
So there is no difference between any of us, in front of God's eyes.
You can live as a slave for God.
Or a slave of money/wealth/materialism.
And you will be rewarded appropriately.
March 9, 2016
Rich, Young, Ruler
I have always thought that this story in the Bible was interesting. Certainly, I have seen this played out in my life: that riches stand directly in the path between you or me and God. I have been dirt poor in life and conversely quite well off at other times; honestly, I found when I had little - to be far better - because I was FORCED to rely on God and not my bank account! Sad condemnation on the concept of faith.
Here, we have someone whom is identified as being Rich, Young and a Ruler in the various Gospels. And he had his path to God nailed! So, he approached Jesus, the oddity Rabbi of his day, to find out if he was on the right path. He expect to be told he was doing good, on the right path, be praised for his piety - but Jesus did not quite reply as expected.
It is the application of the answer which should slow down anyone believing they are saved and on the right path to God or that God is blessing them with riches ...
Mark 10:17-22
Ask The Right Question
Our pious young man runs to Jesus, kneels and asks his question.
He assumes there is something he can do to earn salvation.
He assumes salvation can be earned under our own power.
Ask The Right Person
He to Jesus, not knowing whom He really was.
He assumed he could trust Jesus and His answer.
Take An Honest Look At Yourself
He wanted a checklist.
He did get some things he needed to do as a Jew.
He came thinking he was righteous but then realized that he fell short of expectations.
He strove to do good.
God wanted a relationship with him.
Hear The Challenge
Jesus loved him and his heart - he was told the truth.
His wealth stands in the way of his salvation.
Give the wealth away.
Let go of your idol: wealth.
Follow Me.
Gather treasure in Heaven, same as the Apostles.
Respond The Right Way
He came happy.
He left sad.
He could not correct his heart.
It would be nice if wealth did not stand in the way of our salvation, but in all honesty, as I saw within my self that I was less reliant upon God when I had wealth, so I have also see innumerable times in churches I have attended. And we think piously of ourselves and our wealth, that it is not a problem - that if only others were as faithful as I, then they would not be poor either. Or, a better one, if only they could brush away their sins, as I have done, then they would be blessed as well!
But, it always ends the same. You plant wealth as your testimony and it always comes up destroyed by the whirlwind. God does not need you or your wealth and if you think you can argue that point - then you really do not know God nor His power. (Had that conversation more than once with those whom believe that they are chosen to be rich so that they can bless the Church ... really? Someone needs to start reading their Bible!)
God blesses you with a penny, remember it is His penny and He is loaning it to you.
God blesses you with millions, remember it is His millions and not yours.
Yes, I suspect that you are expected to make a living, provide for yours with what you are given, but we hog and bank it or speculate with it. This is where Dave Ramsay's classes fail, God can provide for you tomorrow, just like He did yesterday and today. Take what He has given you and save it for tomorrow and you just told God you do not need Him any longer. And He will hear your faith and reward you with exactly what you asked for.
Sorry, but we live in a God-less culture, where wealth has become the god, even those whom should know better have betrayed His desires and actively seeks others to follow them, not Him, in the future.
No, we do not need to live as paupers, but this is a far cry from how we do live. More on this thought tomorrow.
Here, we have someone whom is identified as being Rich, Young and a Ruler in the various Gospels. And he had his path to God nailed! So, he approached Jesus, the oddity Rabbi of his day, to find out if he was on the right path. He expect to be told he was doing good, on the right path, be praised for his piety - but Jesus did not quite reply as expected.
It is the application of the answer which should slow down anyone believing they are saved and on the right path to God or that God is blessing them with riches ...
Mark 10:17-22
Ask The Right Question
Our pious young man runs to Jesus, kneels and asks his question.
He assumes there is something he can do to earn salvation.
He assumes salvation can be earned under our own power.
Ask The Right Person
He to Jesus, not knowing whom He really was.
He assumed he could trust Jesus and His answer.
Take An Honest Look At Yourself
He wanted a checklist.
He did get some things he needed to do as a Jew.
He came thinking he was righteous but then realized that he fell short of expectations.
He strove to do good.
God wanted a relationship with him.
Hear The Challenge
Jesus loved him and his heart - he was told the truth.
His wealth stands in the way of his salvation.
Give the wealth away.
Let go of your idol: wealth.
Follow Me.
Gather treasure in Heaven, same as the Apostles.
Respond The Right Way
He came happy.
He left sad.
He could not correct his heart.
It would be nice if wealth did not stand in the way of our salvation, but in all honesty, as I saw within my self that I was less reliant upon God when I had wealth, so I have also see innumerable times in churches I have attended. And we think piously of ourselves and our wealth, that it is not a problem - that if only others were as faithful as I, then they would not be poor either. Or, a better one, if only they could brush away their sins, as I have done, then they would be blessed as well!
But, it always ends the same. You plant wealth as your testimony and it always comes up destroyed by the whirlwind. God does not need you or your wealth and if you think you can argue that point - then you really do not know God nor His power. (Had that conversation more than once with those whom believe that they are chosen to be rich so that they can bless the Church ... really? Someone needs to start reading their Bible!)
God blesses you with a penny, remember it is His penny and He is loaning it to you.
God blesses you with millions, remember it is His millions and not yours.
Yes, I suspect that you are expected to make a living, provide for yours with what you are given, but we hog and bank it or speculate with it. This is where Dave Ramsay's classes fail, God can provide for you tomorrow, just like He did yesterday and today. Take what He has given you and save it for tomorrow and you just told God you do not need Him any longer. And He will hear your faith and reward you with exactly what you asked for.
Sorry, but we live in a God-less culture, where wealth has become the god, even those whom should know better have betrayed His desires and actively seeks others to follow them, not Him, in the future.
No, we do not need to live as paupers, but this is a far cry from how we do live. More on this thought tomorrow.
March 8, 2016
Taxes
I hate taxes.
Every year I am forced to undergo the trauma of just trying to find what the accountant wants in order to report whatever it is the government wants to hear. The first time I had to do the 1040, I finally was reduced after three months of ALL of my time and never being able to actually create the same paperwork twice to finally give up. I took all of my data, all of my attempts, paperclipped it together and then wrote in crayon, "If this is so @#@# important, you figure it out."
A month later I got $10.39 back from the IRS and to this day I have no idea as to why. They also charged me $16 to tell me that. Whatever, it truly makes no sense to me. Just random numbers that they say meaning something to them and therefore should be important to me. I hate the thought that I am somehow liable for tax errors when I have proven a complete lack of any ability in math. Sigh ....
This year, I took my stuff into the accountant as usual. Of course, even the closest check of having everything, still sent me back home for more stuff! Aargh!
The accountant typed all of the various figures from meaningless boxes into his computer program and eventually, for the first time since 2001, actually get money back! Go figure! So, it looks like I am going to head to Denver later this year to visit my mean-cruel-ex-step-mother! She is quite old, quite ill and although I would guess she has many years left in her (unlike my old mining partner I just visited with!), it would be good to see her. Well, we will see.
But for now, I have to concentrate on the immediate - another antique show today I am setting up for, even as you read this in the early morning! And then, no more antique shows!
I still have at least one arms show to do, in hope of liquidating my collection. It may take two or three to get rid of everything. But, if the shows are successful, I will much less in debt by the end of the end .... the goal.
Every year I am forced to undergo the trauma of just trying to find what the accountant wants in order to report whatever it is the government wants to hear. The first time I had to do the 1040, I finally was reduced after three months of ALL of my time and never being able to actually create the same paperwork twice to finally give up. I took all of my data, all of my attempts, paperclipped it together and then wrote in crayon, "If this is so @#@# important, you figure it out."
A month later I got $10.39 back from the IRS and to this day I have no idea as to why. They also charged me $16 to tell me that. Whatever, it truly makes no sense to me. Just random numbers that they say meaning something to them and therefore should be important to me. I hate the thought that I am somehow liable for tax errors when I have proven a complete lack of any ability in math. Sigh ....
This year, I took my stuff into the accountant as usual. Of course, even the closest check of having everything, still sent me back home for more stuff! Aargh!
The accountant typed all of the various figures from meaningless boxes into his computer program and eventually, for the first time since 2001, actually get money back! Go figure! So, it looks like I am going to head to Denver later this year to visit my mean-cruel-ex-step-mother! She is quite old, quite ill and although I would guess she has many years left in her (unlike my old mining partner I just visited with!), it would be good to see her. Well, we will see.
But for now, I have to concentrate on the immediate - another antique show today I am setting up for, even as you read this in the early morning! And then, no more antique shows!
I still have at least one arms show to do, in hope of liquidating my collection. It may take two or three to get rid of everything. But, if the shows are successful, I will much less in debt by the end of the end .... the goal.
A Few More Memories
Again out of the blue, but this time not dream related, was a memory from taking French in fifth grade. It was really horrible. I was in school in northeastern France, on the border with both Belgium and Luxembourg. And non-French was not allowed .....
So you can understand just how much French one could learn when NO English is allowed. You can not communicate with anyone, no one can communicate with you and the teachers were frustrated beyond belief! Mostly whacking us with rulers to vent their frustration as our poor attainment of French! My displeasure with all things French is based upon the utter stupidity I was to observe repeated over and over again in almost all areas of life and infrastructure. The rules over no foreign languages in class was but the beginning of bizzareness which was to terminate with our removal from France at machine-gun point - all of the way to the German border! It was embarrassing for the French and NATO.
Now in that French class the teacher and curriculum were reviewed annually. So second year of school and I was called into a 3 hour interrogation.
Oh, that poor auditor! I was so frustrated and angry with them by then! I knew my numbers, I knew my alphabet, I could congregate all of the he, she, them and us'. But apparently, there were built in jokes in the readings which were meaningless to me and the auditor lost it with me! And I with him. Even at 11 I towered over the average Frenchmen and when he attacked, well the rebuff by me was a complete surprise! I was just lucky there were three others in the room to witness his attack!
In the end, the auditor, teacher and programs were terminated. I was disciplined yet again - sigh - was just one bad apple it seems. ;) But, in the long run, none of it really mattered. NATO was ordered out of France, all of the bases became French property and all of us NATO-brats were shuffled off to other schools. In my case, Germany, via an art class in Marseille first.
So, I sat there in my car, reciting my alphabet in French. Okay, I managed A through F, then T to Z. Not a clue on the middle. But OMG!!!!! I had an actual memory!!!!!!!!
No, still no memory as to whom Gaelic Girl is. She is in my face quite a bit over this but I honestly got nothing as to whom she is. As I was telling a guy in Church, if this is how she was before my surgery, I think I might have a clue as to why those memories are dead .....
I thought he was going to bust a gut he was laughing so hard.
Now I wonder if I can work on my German alphabet from memory .....
So you can understand just how much French one could learn when NO English is allowed. You can not communicate with anyone, no one can communicate with you and the teachers were frustrated beyond belief! Mostly whacking us with rulers to vent their frustration as our poor attainment of French! My displeasure with all things French is based upon the utter stupidity I was to observe repeated over and over again in almost all areas of life and infrastructure. The rules over no foreign languages in class was but the beginning of bizzareness which was to terminate with our removal from France at machine-gun point - all of the way to the German border! It was embarrassing for the French and NATO.
Now in that French class the teacher and curriculum were reviewed annually. So second year of school and I was called into a 3 hour interrogation.
Oh, that poor auditor! I was so frustrated and angry with them by then! I knew my numbers, I knew my alphabet, I could congregate all of the he, she, them and us'. But apparently, there were built in jokes in the readings which were meaningless to me and the auditor lost it with me! And I with him. Even at 11 I towered over the average Frenchmen and when he attacked, well the rebuff by me was a complete surprise! I was just lucky there were three others in the room to witness his attack!
In the end, the auditor, teacher and programs were terminated. I was disciplined yet again - sigh - was just one bad apple it seems. ;) But, in the long run, none of it really mattered. NATO was ordered out of France, all of the bases became French property and all of us NATO-brats were shuffled off to other schools. In my case, Germany, via an art class in Marseille first.
So, I sat there in my car, reciting my alphabet in French. Okay, I managed A through F, then T to Z. Not a clue on the middle. But OMG!!!!! I had an actual memory!!!!!!!!
No, still no memory as to whom Gaelic Girl is. She is in my face quite a bit over this but I honestly got nothing as to whom she is. As I was telling a guy in Church, if this is how she was before my surgery, I think I might have a clue as to why those memories are dead .....
I thought he was going to bust a gut he was laughing so hard.
Now I wonder if I can work on my German alphabet from memory .....
March 7, 2016
Dreaming A Memory
So, since October 17th, everything I know has been told to me, or triggered by a phrase or sight, which caused the retrieval of a memory. I have thousands of little pieces of memory, unfortunately not linked together by anything nor do I relate to any of them ... they are just stories in my mind. I realize that these are things which happened but I have no ownership of any of them!
Currently I have pieces of high school life, a little of my initial college years but that is pretty much it. A single memory from 40 years of a career, random pieces of being a long distance shooter and bits of people I have known.
So, imagine my surprise Sunday night, when I had a real memory! Albeit, I had a high fever, sicker than a dog and up pops a memory from 2000! I had flown the kids to Colorado for a meet with those whom I call family, but are not really, a time for my kids to meet their kids (from all over the world!) and just relax for me. Well, that was the idea anyway.
Now, I have long read about the Georgetown Loop, a 19th century engineering marvel, taking a steam train from Georgetown up the side of a mountain to Silver Plume - roughly a 1:1 grade and impossible! But, what makes this famous is that the engineers thought outside the box and created a huge circular loop in the air to gain elevation relative to the side of the mountain it was to go up.
Everyone came along, I was paying after all! I was excited but two of the kids were being real pains in the butt! Personally, I could not have cared less - it spoke poorly for their parents - but - their attitudes were starting to be copied by my son and that was not acceptable.
So I got into it with the worse behaved of the kids and gave it to her good!
My dream/memory was of that lecture, ending with, " ... now, sit down and shut up!" Yup, all of the kids froze on the benches and did shut up! It was a great ride :)
Now, how random is that?!?!?!? That young lady went on to have a continued respect for me to this day. I became sort of a surrogate father to her and she often stays in touch, even to the point of Skype'ing me her wedding ceremony last year! And, my first free memory is of telling her to shut up! LOL, how utterly weird.
And now, it is at the end of the week, my health is much better and not a single new memory to report! So, no idea what caused that random memory to occur but it gives me hope that my mind will be restored eventually.
:)
Currently I have pieces of high school life, a little of my initial college years but that is pretty much it. A single memory from 40 years of a career, random pieces of being a long distance shooter and bits of people I have known.
So, imagine my surprise Sunday night, when I had a real memory! Albeit, I had a high fever, sicker than a dog and up pops a memory from 2000! I had flown the kids to Colorado for a meet with those whom I call family, but are not really, a time for my kids to meet their kids (from all over the world!) and just relax for me. Well, that was the idea anyway.
Now, I have long read about the Georgetown Loop, a 19th century engineering marvel, taking a steam train from Georgetown up the side of a mountain to Silver Plume - roughly a 1:1 grade and impossible! But, what makes this famous is that the engineers thought outside the box and created a huge circular loop in the air to gain elevation relative to the side of the mountain it was to go up.
Everyone came along, I was paying after all! I was excited but two of the kids were being real pains in the butt! Personally, I could not have cared less - it spoke poorly for their parents - but - their attitudes were starting to be copied by my son and that was not acceptable.
So I got into it with the worse behaved of the kids and gave it to her good!
My dream/memory was of that lecture, ending with, " ... now, sit down and shut up!" Yup, all of the kids froze on the benches and did shut up! It was a great ride :)
Now, how random is that?!?!?!? That young lady went on to have a continued respect for me to this day. I became sort of a surrogate father to her and she often stays in touch, even to the point of Skype'ing me her wedding ceremony last year! And, my first free memory is of telling her to shut up! LOL, how utterly weird.
And now, it is at the end of the week, my health is much better and not a single new memory to report! So, no idea what caused that random memory to occur but it gives me hope that my mind will be restored eventually.
:)
March 5, 2016
Musical Saturday Morning
Ah, another first Saturday of the month and a chance to revisit my favorite musical era - 1980's!
This time up is the B52's second big hit, Private Idaho in 1980. Like most 1980's hits, there is heavy carry over from the 1970's - showing why it was a worthless decade musically, but with sometime new and edgy coming along.
And if you saw the B52s across the 1980's, well you know where the lead singer's hair is going to go ... hope he enjoyed it while he had it .....
This time up is the B52's second big hit, Private Idaho in 1980. Like most 1980's hits, there is heavy carry over from the 1970's - showing why it was a worthless decade musically, but with sometime new and edgy coming along.
And if you saw the B52s across the 1980's, well you know where the lead singer's hair is going to go ... hope he enjoyed it while he had it .....
March 4, 2016
Proverbs
There are a few books of the Bible I rarely read: Leviticus, Numbers, Proverbs and Romans. Why? Well, sorry, but they just have never spoken to me. In fact, if I need to get to sleep - well, they are guaranteed to knock me unconscious in nothing flat! Usually, I have no problem getting to sleep though ...
So, Friday night, bored and coming down with my grandson's cold, I turned to Proverbs and started reading. Unfortunately, the desired result was not achieved.
This was the first time I have read in Proverbs since God saw fit to so dramatically modify my nature. It was not boring in the least, if made me ponder, verse by verse, thought by thought as I was seeing what Salomon had written his son. No, I did not get far, only as far as chapter 7 when I finally was utterly exhausted but not by boredom.
I still have a problem exactly relating to some of what he says, I never experienced those situations in my life - just too flat naive to even be aware they even existed, when I might have known or been enticed! Now too old to even be bothered by such things! LOL
So I will be going back to my bookmarked stopping point and picking up with Chapter 7 and continue as far as I can make it. It is alot like reading Bonhoeffer to me now, weighty and worth consideration as to the principals he is passing on to his son.
Want to join me this weekend in reading along ... ?
So, Friday night, bored and coming down with my grandson's cold, I turned to Proverbs and started reading. Unfortunately, the desired result was not achieved.
This was the first time I have read in Proverbs since God saw fit to so dramatically modify my nature. It was not boring in the least, if made me ponder, verse by verse, thought by thought as I was seeing what Salomon had written his son. No, I did not get far, only as far as chapter 7 when I finally was utterly exhausted but not by boredom.
I still have a problem exactly relating to some of what he says, I never experienced those situations in my life - just too flat naive to even be aware they even existed, when I might have known or been enticed! Now too old to even be bothered by such things! LOL
So I will be going back to my bookmarked stopping point and picking up with Chapter 7 and continue as far as I can make it. It is alot like reading Bonhoeffer to me now, weighty and worth consideration as to the principals he is passing on to his son.
Want to join me this weekend in reading along ... ?
March 3, 2016
MRI
I have probably suffered this form of diagnostic at least 60 some times in the past and today, yet again, sigh.
So, as a refresher:
Wearing an artificial leg has caused some kind of a growth on the bone.
The leg guy had never seen this happen to a patient before.
The surgeon equally had never seen anything like it.
And in last week's CAT scan, they had nothing to contribute as to what the rather large lump is, unless it is a bone infection!
So, next step, MRI.
Personally, I am opting for either a fluid filled sack on the bone or a calcium deposit. In either case, I will get to see the surgeon for another procedure, but it will help we walk without pain, well it will be worth it ... sigh ... needles, I hate needles!
Unfortunately, if the MRI says it is a bone infection, then the MRI will tell the scope of the infection and suggest the best options.
If it is the latter, well I will not be walking for a while again and may or may not lose more leg - possible the knee this time. Sigh ... sometimes life can just suck!
ALL prayers sought and appreciated.
Let you know, probably next week, what they find out!
So, as a refresher:
Wearing an artificial leg has caused some kind of a growth on the bone.
The leg guy had never seen this happen to a patient before.
The surgeon equally had never seen anything like it.
And in last week's CAT scan, they had nothing to contribute as to what the rather large lump is, unless it is a bone infection!
So, next step, MRI.
Personally, I am opting for either a fluid filled sack on the bone or a calcium deposit. In either case, I will get to see the surgeon for another procedure, but it will help we walk without pain, well it will be worth it ... sigh ... needles, I hate needles!
Unfortunately, if the MRI says it is a bone infection, then the MRI will tell the scope of the infection and suggest the best options.
If it is the latter, well I will not be walking for a while again and may or may not lose more leg - possible the knee this time. Sigh ... sometimes life can just suck!
ALL prayers sought and appreciated.
Let you know, probably next week, what they find out!
March 2, 2016
Like A Child
I realize that many read my words and think of them as being metaphorical. After-all, how can so much happen to just one guy in so short a period of time? How can someone actually be reduced to Zero in this day and age?
And I have thought on this question, brought about by a comment by one of the men in my church. He is a reader, not necessarily a friend, just a acquaintance. And last night, finally after months of steeping in my mind, I have the answer ....
It was just last summer when I made the statement about being reduced to nothing. I was so ill, my temperature on the edge of brain damage, I mentally fought the delirium, my pleas for life unanswered as no one spoke German - that is how far my mind had been affected. And I was broken physically and mentally, reduced to nothing. I knew I was dying, a body can not take such abuse for long. As the hours ticked by, I finally decided that if I was to die, then as long as I had breath left, I would pray through the list of those important in my life. The fever finally broke when I had finished that prayer.
Mark 10:13-16
Live Out A Childlike Faith (Dependence)
"Like a child" requires trusting, dependence upon God.
Are you really dependent upon God?
Probably not in this western culture.
I always thought I was my whole Christian life, only to find to much me and not enough of God ...
Complete trust, complete dependence is required.
You much become nothing, you must be Zero before God.
Yeah not exactly culturally acceptable in today's narcissistic culture ...
Receive The Blessing of Jesus
Be a blessing to the "children".
(Young in the faith, the child-like, actual children!)
Model Jesus, show your faith, be blessed - pass it on!
Grant Others Access to Jesus
"Do not hinder them"
Jesus was indignant because the children were being held back!
People look to us to point them to Jesus ...
And it all starts with realizing that you are actually nothing, you are reduced to Zero before God. Then, God is completely free to use you to His glory.
And I have thought on this question, brought about by a comment by one of the men in my church. He is a reader, not necessarily a friend, just a acquaintance. And last night, finally after months of steeping in my mind, I have the answer ....
It was just last summer when I made the statement about being reduced to nothing. I was so ill, my temperature on the edge of brain damage, I mentally fought the delirium, my pleas for life unanswered as no one spoke German - that is how far my mind had been affected. And I was broken physically and mentally, reduced to nothing. I knew I was dying, a body can not take such abuse for long. As the hours ticked by, I finally decided that if I was to die, then as long as I had breath left, I would pray through the list of those important in my life. The fever finally broke when I had finished that prayer.
Mark 10:13-16
Live Out A Childlike Faith (Dependence)
"Like a child" requires trusting, dependence upon God.
Are you really dependent upon God?
Probably not in this western culture.
I always thought I was my whole Christian life, only to find to much me and not enough of God ...
Complete trust, complete dependence is required.
You much become nothing, you must be Zero before God.
Yeah not exactly culturally acceptable in today's narcissistic culture ...
Receive The Blessing of Jesus
Be a blessing to the "children".
(Young in the faith, the child-like, actual children!)
Model Jesus, show your faith, be blessed - pass it on!
Grant Others Access to Jesus
"Do not hinder them"
Jesus was indignant because the children were being held back!
People look to us to point them to Jesus ...
And it all starts with realizing that you are actually nothing, you are reduced to Zero before God. Then, God is completely free to use you to His glory.
March 1, 2016
Dealing With Divorce, Part 2
Yesterday, I talked my family's history with divorce.
I know I was affected by my parents' divorce. From the selfish side of they separated on my 17th birthday and divorced on my 18th birthday, two ruined birthdays in a row! As well as, from the side of not trusting easily. And understanding that although there are "two sides to an issue", the truth may not be known by either party - especially when the parties are both liars.
Mark 10:1-12
Matthew 19:1-9
1. Marriage matters! So pursue it!
It is worth your attention!
Jesus emphasized the importance of it.
It matters to God.
Fortify your marriage and strengthen it.
2. See sex as game changer, not as a harmless-hookup !
Sexual sin has long term consequences.
You are bonded in that union.
You can not actually untangle the roots of that union, once it happens.
Desire has the same roots in your heart.
Pain, hard hearts, sin abounds - without the greatest of caution!!!!!!
3. What about the "reasons for divorce"?
Mental illness, sin, gambling, alcoholism, abuse, etc - are all grey areas for both divorce and remarriage.
Abandonment or adultery is acceptable reasoning for divorce and remarriage. This is the breaking of the marital vows.
What happens to your marital status, you protect yourself, you protect your children!
4. We need to be a lighthouse for the shipwrecked!
We are to be a place for hope and healing for all.
Lift up the sacredness of marriage.
Marriage takes two people, committed to one another in God.
God wants our marriages to flourish, not to fail.
When one person fails, both are affected by that failure.
Divorce is but one reaction to that brokenness of ourselves and failure.
But Divorce is not an unpardonable sin, it is an action which damages us.
God's desire is to heal us of failure and brokenness.
If you remarry, God will bless that marriage if you have and are seeking His Will.
God's grace is greater than all sin.
We all sin.
No sin is greater than another.
Some sin has long term consequences on us and others: sexual sin, divorce and murder.
Thinking back through these verses: marriage is good, failure is not desirable. There are lots of ways a marriage can hit the rocks, these days pornography and abandonment seem to be the most common from what I have observed. We have to be able to understand that it is not an imperative that we abandon our spouses when these things occur but rather to work through it with them - IF that is possible. Both situations are a little hard to re-engage from! And, if there is divorce, know that this is not God's will, but by His allowance. Should we then remarry, one hopes we are wiser, careful and prayerful.
I know I was affected by my parents' divorce. From the selfish side of they separated on my 17th birthday and divorced on my 18th birthday, two ruined birthdays in a row! As well as, from the side of not trusting easily. And understanding that although there are "two sides to an issue", the truth may not be known by either party - especially when the parties are both liars.
Mark 10:1-12
Matthew 19:1-9
1. Marriage matters! So pursue it!
It is worth your attention!
Jesus emphasized the importance of it.
It matters to God.
Fortify your marriage and strengthen it.
2. See sex as game changer, not as a harmless-hookup !
Sexual sin has long term consequences.
You are bonded in that union.
You can not actually untangle the roots of that union, once it happens.
Desire has the same roots in your heart.
Pain, hard hearts, sin abounds - without the greatest of caution!!!!!!
3. What about the "reasons for divorce"?
Mental illness, sin, gambling, alcoholism, abuse, etc - are all grey areas for both divorce and remarriage.
Abandonment or adultery is acceptable reasoning for divorce and remarriage. This is the breaking of the marital vows.
What happens to your marital status, you protect yourself, you protect your children!
4. We need to be a lighthouse for the shipwrecked!
We are to be a place for hope and healing for all.
Lift up the sacredness of marriage.
Marriage takes two people, committed to one another in God.
God wants our marriages to flourish, not to fail.
When one person fails, both are affected by that failure.
Divorce is but one reaction to that brokenness of ourselves and failure.
But Divorce is not an unpardonable sin, it is an action which damages us.
God's desire is to heal us of failure and brokenness.
If you remarry, God will bless that marriage if you have and are seeking His Will.
God's grace is greater than all sin.
We all sin.
No sin is greater than another.
Some sin has long term consequences on us and others: sexual sin, divorce and murder.
Thinking back through these verses: marriage is good, failure is not desirable. There are lots of ways a marriage can hit the rocks, these days pornography and abandonment seem to be the most common from what I have observed. We have to be able to understand that it is not an imperative that we abandon our spouses when these things occur but rather to work through it with them - IF that is possible. Both situations are a little hard to re-engage from! And, if there is divorce, know that this is not God's will, but by His allowance. Should we then remarry, one hopes we are wiser, careful and prayerful.
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