Favorite Verse

A few Sunday's ago, I was seated at church, enjoying some tea and trying to wake up.  It was my first Sunday back to church since the surgeries in October.  A lady came and sat opposite me at the table in the foyer.  She was into coffee and cookies.  She chatted with many people whom were walking by and then turned her undesired attention to me.  You have to remember, I swore off ever talking to another female again, whom I did not already know back in 2012.  I also am less than excited by 99.9% of all those claim to be male.  Quite simply finished with what calls itself "human" (and for some reason God chose to die for each of us ... a true mystery ... sigh).

Then this unknown woman, I am trying to ignore,  is pushing me for an answer as to what is my favorite verse.  I explain to her about this curse of amnesia and how I am lucky on most days to even remember my own name!

Then I remembered 1John ?:7-9.  Aargh!  But what chapter for the life of me I could not remember on the spot.  So, she flipped open 1 John and decided that chapter 1 must be the correct one.  Unfortunately, later I remembered it was actually chapter 4.  Whatever, they both say basically the same thing.

But as the day clicked by, I thought on this interesting idea of having a favorite verse.  Again, nothing swam through the fog of my mind to trigger any memory, much less why there would be such a thing as a favorite verse.  John's concept of Light and Truth being the same, that Love is what transcends our humanity, that God is Light/Truth/Love.  So terribly interesting to my mind ... again, mystery.

And my mind now grows tired.  It is so hard to try and think outside the black hole which is my mind.  Even just remembering this has exhausted me more than I can understand.

Luckily, I have not had to see her again.  I am quite adamant about the end of my personal friendliness towards those whom I do not know.  Yeah, I understand that is not whom I am, I am generally really friendly, but history has shown I trust too easily and given the level of damage I have sustained across the past recent years - it just is not worth the cost I have paid.

And I have to admit that many of those I can remember from the other side of 2012, yeah, I have little trust in them either.  It seems I live in a "let's do lunch, I'll call you" culture.  

"Ya, sure you betcha - I ain't ever going to hear from you again, Slim."

But, God has seen fit to place a small group of people directly in my path - very frustrating, but if God is moving, I will respond and then be left to wonder about why He does as He does.  All things go somewhere but I longer have the ability to see where, so I have to just trudge along in faith - my mind watching and relearning ...