Dreams

So, still at complete amnesia.  Month five now and still nothing that is identifiable as Kris is appearing ... or is there?

Since day one, there has been a reoccurring dream, the same dream every single night - a memory that my brain or God is keeping alive within me.  Where I think the logical man would throw his hand up in despair and scream!, it gives me hope, the only hope I have in this life.  I would not even bother to try without it.

Then, there was a dream a few weeks ago about French class when I was in fifth grade.  A horrible dream, a horrible memory of Kris versus bureaucracy - French bureaucracy.

Now, as of last night came something out of the blue.  I have long noticed all of the art stuff around here - supplies and paintings I have done, as well as, the massive four by three foot drawing I did of a 15th century Scottish wedding.  I have nothing, no connection with any of them .....

But, I have been having urges, weird desires to draw, to create a certain picture.  I can see it as clear as a bell in my mind but I have no ability to either describe it - as my language is not fully restored - nor to actually do it.

And then came the dream last night.

I saw the scene yet again, I "felt" the objects reaching out to me, wanting to be documented.  Yeah, weird, but I awoke with the knowledge of how to do this painting!  But, now I need just the time to lay this out.

So, I cast my eyes upon a set of brushes behind me and I wonder ....

Yet all of my stuff is for watercolor painting and I "know" that this must be done in oils.  Sigh... Do I follow the intuition or do it in watercolor and then later in oils?  One thing also I have remembered is the danger of the chemicals used with normal oil paints - and valuing my liver and kidneys, I need to find some water based oils before I try this ..... per the dream.

Strong this urge, I must wonder ...