Heart Attack

Friday evening, my car broke down.
Saturday I had to borrow one so that I could take my mother to visit her antique show she was unable to attend.
I walked close to three miles on Saturday and carried some canning jars home ;)
Sunday, went to church and then to lunch, but walking home .....

It is about one mile from the Mexican Cantina I so dearly love, to the house.  I have walked this thousands of times, but this is the first time on this artificial leg.
So, about ten blocks over-all, almost all of them uphill however.

I know I am out of shape since I can do very little until this leg issue is resolved.
But, on block three my left shoulder starts aching something horrible.
I shift my sling pack to my right side.
Maybe my Bible is heavier than I thought?
My left leg starts to stumble and I look at the ground to watch for pine cones, etc.
And then I felt as though someone just hauled off and hit me in the left jaw.

Yeah, I might be slow, I might not have any memories from before 2016, but my mind still works extraordinarily well.
I realized I was not approaching - but - having a heart attack, again.
This was the real thing .....

I always carry Nitro with me, since the first one a few years ago, so I dug it out of the pack, took one and then just leaned against a fence for the next twenty minutes.
And then the  pain clobbers my chest.
Yup, Kris in on fire, the brain is swimming, no ability to pull my cell phone - much less use it!
I can only just hope this is the big one.
And this misery can all just be over.
Apparently not ... sigh ... I really wish God would just give me my last task and let me go home.

Of course, I still have to make it 7/10th of a mile to get back to the house.
I did make it - shaking, covered in sweat, my head pounding.
My body a sea of pain.
And I just flat crashed.

It is now Wednesday.
I have not had to take another pill.
I have thought about it though a few times.
I researched and found that none of the memory pills I  just started taking have any effect on the heart.
But, on the internet, opinions do not agree with the scientists nor FDA: extremely high blood pressures have been observed.
And my last two readings had been quite high.
I had written those off as bad nurses - it happens all of the time.
So, I tossed the pills.
I would rather live than have a memory.
And no more issues.

... sigh ...

Sixty-one year old male,
no life,
---- no memories,
--------- no hope either it seems.