I have dreamt about what happened Saturday, for months, I was so excited! I finally got to take a bath! It was celebration time!
You have to understand that due to all of the surgeries and holes drilled through my legs - showers and bathing have been out since the beginning of April! No not a yuck, I bought lots of boxes of Handy Wipes and have cleansed myself regularly with those wonderful alcohol drenched pads. Though they work well, I discovered that their "fresh scent" could not over come the odor from the antibiotic soaked body they were used on. Not a yuck but an odd smell that requires Old Bay Rum to mask. LOL.
First up, I pulled the show curtain from out of tub and OMG! Mold! Everywhere! Two hours of work later and every last trace of mold is gone and the tub has been drenched with Clorox! YUCK! Then wash the tub out several times to remove the Clorox and we can begin again.
Hmmmm, the tub is filling, I stage soap, shampoo, washcloth towels and a squeaky toy. I thought about photographing this beautiful scene ... but as is or with me in the tub? I chose not to take a picture at all. If I was in the photo, I would die of embarrassment. If I was not in the water, then everyone would know I am the coward I am! No winning this one. I slid into the warm waters. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Well, let us just say it was an awesome experience. But, I did not wash my hair because I started having chest pains, so time to get out after only an hour!
The chest pain would not go away and then I had growing radiating pain across my shoulder blades. So, just hanging loose not sure what is going on. Went to dinner, everything was fine. Stopped to pick up some sympathy cards for a family whose father just died; I knew the family but not the father. He has been extremely ill for as long as I have been here!
I turn to walk to the cash register and BLAM! Crippling pain in my left foot, then my left knee would not support me, I try to grab on to a counter but my left hand would not grab anything! And then the whole left side of my body went numb.
A stroke, first thing on my mind. Father had 5 major strokes and 18 minor ones, so I do try and watch myself closely. The whole left side of my body is now dead but I managed to make it back to the car, it took close to 30 minutes to travel that 20 or so feet, but I made it. I did not go to the hospital because I could smile, so whatever this was it was not a stroke, maybe a minor one?
Went to bed with a hot pad, the pain was so intense across my shoulders and hips, this had to be spinal. I tried heating and then manipulating my spine, intense pain was the only result. Then my right hand went dead. Fine I will just be brain dead by morning! Stupid Kris! Took a massive Codeine and passed out. Next up gates of Heaven!
Alas, no. Sunday, I woke up in massive pain. Did not make it to Heaven nor church, still in Hell, sigh. Okay, kick in brain, what does this tell me? It is obviously beyond my knowledge, but I am intensely analytical if nothing else.
Then I suddenly remembered one rescue on Longs Peak in Colorado in 1972, the guy had fallen and was hanging at 13,500 feet more or less. In those days it meant a backboard carry of some 9 miles to get him out and with a spinal injury we all knew what that meant! It was a death sentence in those days, today there are helicopters which can fly at those altitudes, but not back then! We lowered him to a ledge and quickly concluded he had a neck injury - no there were no cool inflatable collars back then. He had no other injuries. He was pleading for death but I got some snow and packed his neck, for the next hour. He did a great deal of screaming through this. The swelling went down enough I could feel the disk which had slipped sideways. So, gentle pressure - POP! and it was back in. Slowly feeling returned to his body and I used a Coleman handwarmer to gently heat his neck area and my frozen hands! In all, 5 hours and he could begin the 9 mile walk: gingerly and slowly with assistance. Yeah, happy camper and he was told to see a doctor ASAP! It felt good to do something right. On a mountain face I always did right, everything is logical; it was back home in the city where mostly I screwed up - sigh.
Since then I have also learned that heat can loosen muscles in my neck and I thought about this, could I have popped a disk? Well, all it took was to run hands along both sides of the neck to tell me it was not my neck. Back to the heating pad. I wiggled around trying to get the spine into alignment again, still no improvement, lots of screaming for an hour. Finally, I heated my shoulders, my hips, up and down the spine and rolled my head around in increasingly larger circles. Then SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!, and the pain subsided just that fast!
Yeah, last night I could not even sit upright nor use my left side. Today, now, I am sitting here typing Monday's post! Go figure! Oh I did figure out that the chest and back pain were from cleaning the tub and being bent over - and yeah, that still hurts big time! But, I can move again!
I guess the old adage of too much of a good thing also applies to being in hot water!
LOL!
August 31, 2015
August 29, 2015
August 28, 2015
Ugly Side of Humanity
There is probably no better time to observe the Ugly Side of Humanity, than the aftermath of a death in the family.
Normally nice people turn so ugly, there is no possible way to recognize them! Fighting and venom abound! Hurt feelings, harsh words, anger, lawsuits between everyone involved in the aftermath of my Uncle Raymond's death. Dear God! and everyone has to tell me about it ad nauseam ...
Raymond had at his death: either two or three children by previous wives, two step daughters - unadopted, a brother and a sister and an estate of maybe $100,000 if everything at full retail. Then there is the next generation: me, my sister Sommer and two cousins - one in California and the other somewhere in Washington - have no clue where. Dysfunctional family, what can you say? The dysfunction stretches back to my great-great-grandparents - 200 years of messed up families on my mother's side!
No one has heard hide nor hair of his children, I last saw them ten years ago completely by accident - and they RAN when they saw me. No idea why, surely they could not have recognized me. I knew them because he was the spitting image of his father at his age and she her mother. But, they never knew my father whom I apparently resemble. No one has met the step-daughters.
So, mother got a copy of the will from the State of Alaska and discovered there is no will, the two girls are trying to take over the estate and my mother is hopping mad!
So far, mother has filed suit against the State of Alaska for attempting to enforce a non will giving everything to the girls. Mom wants his real children to get the estate, and of course a piece for her and my uncle, step daughters to get nothing since they are not "blood". Hatred, venom, prejudice - all without excuse in a supposedly "Christian" family (they are not but they think they are). Lawsuits, hate mail, email wars, etc all without end.
And, I refuse to become involved. So all have turned on me now - because I am the true "hater". You see, I refuse to see Raymond as family and for reasons I have expressed before. I lost an uncle January 1964, he died to me of self inflicted alcoholism and violating my grandfather's funeral. But, those in the family also killed him as well for the next 30 years. Then he popped up one day, saw everyone - save for me - took money from everyone and then disappeared until just before grandmother died. He took the family for tens of thousands during that visit, then attempted to extort another $18,000 from grandmother on her deathbed. But, she died too fast for him to ever get anything. In the end he got $90.00. :) She literally had nothing there at the end.
So, no one is talking to me, Kris, the hater. Except for my mother whom screams at me almost daily at how she can not believe I am part of the family because I do not "want my piece" of Raymond's estate. Give it to the Salvation Army, as far as I am concerned - they brought him out of alcoholism and to the Cross. Let them benefit and the wars end .... As for the step-daughters, well they are the only ones to actually know him during the past 30 years, so why should they not be allowed to have his estate?
I think it is going to be a long winter ...
Normally nice people turn so ugly, there is no possible way to recognize them! Fighting and venom abound! Hurt feelings, harsh words, anger, lawsuits between everyone involved in the aftermath of my Uncle Raymond's death. Dear God! and everyone has to tell me about it ad nauseam ...
Raymond had at his death: either two or three children by previous wives, two step daughters - unadopted, a brother and a sister and an estate of maybe $100,000 if everything at full retail. Then there is the next generation: me, my sister Sommer and two cousins - one in California and the other somewhere in Washington - have no clue where. Dysfunctional family, what can you say? The dysfunction stretches back to my great-great-grandparents - 200 years of messed up families on my mother's side!
No one has heard hide nor hair of his children, I last saw them ten years ago completely by accident - and they RAN when they saw me. No idea why, surely they could not have recognized me. I knew them because he was the spitting image of his father at his age and she her mother. But, they never knew my father whom I apparently resemble. No one has met the step-daughters.
So, mother got a copy of the will from the State of Alaska and discovered there is no will, the two girls are trying to take over the estate and my mother is hopping mad!
So far, mother has filed suit against the State of Alaska for attempting to enforce a non will giving everything to the girls. Mom wants his real children to get the estate, and of course a piece for her and my uncle, step daughters to get nothing since they are not "blood". Hatred, venom, prejudice - all without excuse in a supposedly "Christian" family (they are not but they think they are). Lawsuits, hate mail, email wars, etc all without end.
And, I refuse to become involved. So all have turned on me now - because I am the true "hater". You see, I refuse to see Raymond as family and for reasons I have expressed before. I lost an uncle January 1964, he died to me of self inflicted alcoholism and violating my grandfather's funeral. But, those in the family also killed him as well for the next 30 years. Then he popped up one day, saw everyone - save for me - took money from everyone and then disappeared until just before grandmother died. He took the family for tens of thousands during that visit, then attempted to extort another $18,000 from grandmother on her deathbed. But, she died too fast for him to ever get anything. In the end he got $90.00. :) She literally had nothing there at the end.
So, no one is talking to me, Kris, the hater. Except for my mother whom screams at me almost daily at how she can not believe I am part of the family because I do not "want my piece" of Raymond's estate. Give it to the Salvation Army, as far as I am concerned - they brought him out of alcoholism and to the Cross. Let them benefit and the wars end .... As for the step-daughters, well they are the only ones to actually know him during the past 30 years, so why should they not be allowed to have his estate?
I think it is going to be a long winter ...
August 27, 2015
Ramblings Of The Last Few Days
Last week was very much a blessing - to suddenly learn God had done a miracle ... for me, but why? It is not like I am sainted and deserve any form of blessing from God - I was ready to die, to go home, but God apparently wants to keep me here. The future holds something of value to Him I guess. I feel true happiness.
Beyond the healing of my kidneys, liver, bone marrow, destruction of the three infections, restart of the iron transport system, etc - my blood sugars are now completely and totally normal! I will still play the Type II diabetic game, but in the back of my mind I am wondering if ... I have been diabetic since I was at least 13, if not younger - but it was only 7 years ago they diagnosed the problem. I do not remember being exactly good around the time of that last blood draw, so I expected the usual mid-7's as the blood sugar level and to be yelled at - not the 5.6 they documented! Really? Too weird if true. Add to this the restoration of hearing to my right ear, lost in the second operation - and God really did something! My ear doctor (who knows how to spell what the heck they are called?) pushed his chair back on Tuesday and said slowly, "Well, it looks like everything is working ... We are done here." He had already booked me for the next 10 weeks! Yeah, weird.
*****
And to herald this bizarre and unexplainable healing of Kris: my PICC line was removed yesterday! A miserable rubber tube which ran from my arm pit to my heart, so antibiotics could be dumped down it three times a day! Of course, I knew they would be ill prepared for what was coming - so I bought a pile of 4 inch gauze pads and 80 inches of 2 inch wide hospital tape to form a tourniquet with. I was right, they did not have on hand what was needed. However, for the first time in my LIFE I did not bleed for up to 6 hours after anything involving an artery! I am quite simply stunned! As recent as three weeks ago, a simple blood draw did what was normal: four hours of heavy bleeding! It was so bad that the store called an ambulance because of the amount of blood coming down my arm when the band slipped! I was clueless and thought I was just dizzy - yeah, lots of blood! So, it seems - the Habsburg gene is defeated as well? Take that inbreeding!!!!!
Really, this is a new Kris, in a new body it seems - I do not recognize this body and no one it seems recognizes me. I will have to count my grey hairs now, maybe there has been a roll back in that department as well? LOL!
*****
Last night, I was laying in bed thinking on all of this. God is moving to get my body back together and it is working again - or maybe I would bring down heavenly land values if I got home to Heaven too soon! Night is also when I can cry and not let the members of this house mock me. I mourn the loss of friends and life being devoid of any form of emotion or warmth. I do have emotion, now, locked away in my heart, so desiring to burst forth ... but, well, it is not exactly what I can share given this environment. So, I die a little each day on the inside.
One day, perhaps one day, I can free.
*****
I thought on how odd it is that amongst my almost life long friendships, Swede is the lone one to render assistance (and I do have one whom usually messages or texts me daily). I am seeing how amongst family and friends - I sit where James was last February. I still mourn his death, so unnecessary, so much pain he brought his family because he did not want to face the loss of his foot. Admittedly, this year has been a literal hell for me, mostly because I struggle to keep that foot and leg - just as he could have done. Doing most things myself because no else will help around here. And perhaps like me, James had no one to render daily assistance for a year or so. And, yes, I did consider suicide at one point - but high fever and delirium was not enough to push me over the edge. Sorry Satan.
Is that what really pushed James over the edge? Abandonment by friends and family, whom all suddenly had no time for him. Constant pain and approaching deformity? Yeah, I could see him really easily in my situation, many of the players are the same even! Plus he had a wife whom was less than supportive, to say the least! :( Pomegranate juice, so yummy, so deadly to those on the Charcot meds - a guaranteed heart attack instantly in every glass full.
And yet, I can have no trust in Swede because he has proven he can not be deeply trusted. I pondered this. Why should he go so far out of his way for me, he lives over an hour away when there is no traffic ... I wondered if with the loss of his brother is a factor. He also spends time with his many nieces and their families. All that is left of his family is him, a sister and her four daughters and their children. I have no definitive answer, it could be as simple as guilt is driving the generosity with his time. I ponder ...
But, he is what God has provided, so I will be thankful.
*****
Yet, even in that, I have now learned, because of Swede's example, to spend time with one of my business acquaintances, Kurt, whom managed to climb a ladder last weekend, which then broke a leg. So, down he went, still attached to the ladder. Shattered left shoulder, left ankle broken in two places and he bounced his bean off of the ladder as well. So battered face, left side teeth through skin and then the teeth broke. Sigh, poor Kurt - I told him I may have to surrender my King of Klutz crown if this keep up! His spirits were high and his wife was practicing driving his little scooter chair around the room - kept us laughing! Feel free to pray for him! (He is a lawyer so he needs all the prayer he can get! LOL!)
*****
As I was walking out of the hospital, I saw a little gift shop off of the main hallway, checked the time and I had plenty, so I went into "sniff" the shop. Rather glad I did as they had some very interesting antiques in there! I picked up a formal butter dish, where the butter sits on a plate and under the plate is a storage area for ice! Very cool. An antique piece of Belleek, for the show this fall, assuming anyone has an interest in Belleek anymore. A super cool sippy-cup, made by the Thun factory in Czechoslovakia (Czech Republic for you youngin's). It is something probably used by an invalid but I just liked it since I have a strong attachment to Thun (we owned it once after all!). (still chuckling over that one!) My son in law has become addicted Seattle history, and the shop had a book published here in 1906 by one of the original pioneers. I hope it is a good Christmas gift for him! And two old Scottish buttons, which will be used as bag closures on an accessories bag for a custom gun I hope to finish this fall - if I can get a small wood working area set up. And I have to admit, were the hospital not for those of little means, I never would have bought any of it - but if it helps to fund the hospital - hence, my lawyer acquaintance's surgeries he faces and many therapies. Yeah, not all lawyers are rich.
*****
As many of you know, I have a real soft spot for orphans and impoverished children. I came across a flyer on a group called, "Roots and Wings", whom are working with children in Mazatlan, Mexico. Their goal is to help to feed impoverished child in Mazatlan, provide childcare and offer education to parents on how to work with what they have. Seems to be much like what World Vision and many other groups do - yet, I am not a real fan of those organizations - whom do not have feet on the ground in the place they work. So, I was able to spend sometime with one of those involved with this group. Now if only I spoke Spanish far better I might be able to actually do something of value ... sigh ... Kris and his allergy to languages! (My first language was German, then spoken English, French, Spanish and written English once I was 30! So, I have an excuse for my utter butchering of the language.)
rootsandwingsim.org on the internet
Roots & Wings
200 CR 36120
Honey Grove, TX
75446
P:903.378.6140
They desire $30 per month to support a child with food, clothing, care and education .
Yeah, I will be adding them to my monthly giving list since it appears that Kimmie will not be returning to Africa any too soon.
Check them out on the internet, maybe see about going down to help them, but do pray for their ministry's success. If Mexico is to have a chance for change, it has got to start with the family ... Hmm, maybe we need this in a country to the north of them ... but it is harder to implement change in an atmosphere of wealth.
I also have a man in Chihuahua, Mexico doing the exact same thing - if you are interested he could use support as well. He has been running his ministry with NO income or support, just local support - and only him as the worker bee. His daughter is a good friend of mine so I get constant updates on how it goes for him, the ministry and the general area (drug war - sigh). Prayer for him is good too ... his daughter, Veronica, could use real prayer as well, she is newly pregnant and it is NOT going well at all!
*****
Choos! (Swiss for: later 'gater!)
Beyond the healing of my kidneys, liver, bone marrow, destruction of the three infections, restart of the iron transport system, etc - my blood sugars are now completely and totally normal! I will still play the Type II diabetic game, but in the back of my mind I am wondering if ... I have been diabetic since I was at least 13, if not younger - but it was only 7 years ago they diagnosed the problem. I do not remember being exactly good around the time of that last blood draw, so I expected the usual mid-7's as the blood sugar level and to be yelled at - not the 5.6 they documented! Really? Too weird if true. Add to this the restoration of hearing to my right ear, lost in the second operation - and God really did something! My ear doctor (who knows how to spell what the heck they are called?) pushed his chair back on Tuesday and said slowly, "Well, it looks like everything is working ... We are done here." He had already booked me for the next 10 weeks! Yeah, weird.
*****
And to herald this bizarre and unexplainable healing of Kris: my PICC line was removed yesterday! A miserable rubber tube which ran from my arm pit to my heart, so antibiotics could be dumped down it three times a day! Of course, I knew they would be ill prepared for what was coming - so I bought a pile of 4 inch gauze pads and 80 inches of 2 inch wide hospital tape to form a tourniquet with. I was right, they did not have on hand what was needed. However, for the first time in my LIFE I did not bleed for up to 6 hours after anything involving an artery! I am quite simply stunned! As recent as three weeks ago, a simple blood draw did what was normal: four hours of heavy bleeding! It was so bad that the store called an ambulance because of the amount of blood coming down my arm when the band slipped! I was clueless and thought I was just dizzy - yeah, lots of blood! So, it seems - the Habsburg gene is defeated as well? Take that inbreeding!!!!!
Really, this is a new Kris, in a new body it seems - I do not recognize this body and no one it seems recognizes me. I will have to count my grey hairs now, maybe there has been a roll back in that department as well? LOL!
*****
Last night, I was laying in bed thinking on all of this. God is moving to get my body back together and it is working again - or maybe I would bring down heavenly land values if I got home to Heaven too soon! Night is also when I can cry and not let the members of this house mock me. I mourn the loss of friends and life being devoid of any form of emotion or warmth. I do have emotion, now, locked away in my heart, so desiring to burst forth ... but, well, it is not exactly what I can share given this environment. So, I die a little each day on the inside.
One day, perhaps one day, I can free.
*****
I thought on how odd it is that amongst my almost life long friendships, Swede is the lone one to render assistance (and I do have one whom usually messages or texts me daily). I am seeing how amongst family and friends - I sit where James was last February. I still mourn his death, so unnecessary, so much pain he brought his family because he did not want to face the loss of his foot. Admittedly, this year has been a literal hell for me, mostly because I struggle to keep that foot and leg - just as he could have done. Doing most things myself because no else will help around here. And perhaps like me, James had no one to render daily assistance for a year or so. And, yes, I did consider suicide at one point - but high fever and delirium was not enough to push me over the edge. Sorry Satan.
Is that what really pushed James over the edge? Abandonment by friends and family, whom all suddenly had no time for him. Constant pain and approaching deformity? Yeah, I could see him really easily in my situation, many of the players are the same even! Plus he had a wife whom was less than supportive, to say the least! :( Pomegranate juice, so yummy, so deadly to those on the Charcot meds - a guaranteed heart attack instantly in every glass full.
And yet, I can have no trust in Swede because he has proven he can not be deeply trusted. I pondered this. Why should he go so far out of his way for me, he lives over an hour away when there is no traffic ... I wondered if with the loss of his brother is a factor. He also spends time with his many nieces and their families. All that is left of his family is him, a sister and her four daughters and their children. I have no definitive answer, it could be as simple as guilt is driving the generosity with his time. I ponder ...
But, he is what God has provided, so I will be thankful.
*****
Yet, even in that, I have now learned, because of Swede's example, to spend time with one of my business acquaintances, Kurt, whom managed to climb a ladder last weekend, which then broke a leg. So, down he went, still attached to the ladder. Shattered left shoulder, left ankle broken in two places and he bounced his bean off of the ladder as well. So battered face, left side teeth through skin and then the teeth broke. Sigh, poor Kurt - I told him I may have to surrender my King of Klutz crown if this keep up! His spirits were high and his wife was practicing driving his little scooter chair around the room - kept us laughing! Feel free to pray for him! (He is a lawyer so he needs all the prayer he can get! LOL!)
*****
As I was walking out of the hospital, I saw a little gift shop off of the main hallway, checked the time and I had plenty, so I went into "sniff" the shop. Rather glad I did as they had some very interesting antiques in there! I picked up a formal butter dish, where the butter sits on a plate and under the plate is a storage area for ice! Very cool. An antique piece of Belleek, for the show this fall, assuming anyone has an interest in Belleek anymore. A super cool sippy-cup, made by the Thun factory in Czechoslovakia (Czech Republic for you youngin's). It is something probably used by an invalid but I just liked it since I have a strong attachment to Thun (we owned it once after all!). (still chuckling over that one!) My son in law has become addicted Seattle history, and the shop had a book published here in 1906 by one of the original pioneers. I hope it is a good Christmas gift for him! And two old Scottish buttons, which will be used as bag closures on an accessories bag for a custom gun I hope to finish this fall - if I can get a small wood working area set up. And I have to admit, were the hospital not for those of little means, I never would have bought any of it - but if it helps to fund the hospital - hence, my lawyer acquaintance's surgeries he faces and many therapies. Yeah, not all lawyers are rich.
*****
As many of you know, I have a real soft spot for orphans and impoverished children. I came across a flyer on a group called, "Roots and Wings", whom are working with children in Mazatlan, Mexico. Their goal is to help to feed impoverished child in Mazatlan, provide childcare and offer education to parents on how to work with what they have. Seems to be much like what World Vision and many other groups do - yet, I am not a real fan of those organizations - whom do not have feet on the ground in the place they work. So, I was able to spend sometime with one of those involved with this group. Now if only I spoke Spanish far better I might be able to actually do something of value ... sigh ... Kris and his allergy to languages! (My first language was German, then spoken English, French, Spanish and written English once I was 30! So, I have an excuse for my utter butchering of the language.)
rootsandwingsim.org on the internet
Roots & Wings
200 CR 36120
Honey Grove, TX
75446
P:903.378.6140
They desire $30 per month to support a child with food, clothing, care and education .
Yeah, I will be adding them to my monthly giving list since it appears that Kimmie will not be returning to Africa any too soon.
Check them out on the internet, maybe see about going down to help them, but do pray for their ministry's success. If Mexico is to have a chance for change, it has got to start with the family ... Hmm, maybe we need this in a country to the north of them ... but it is harder to implement change in an atmosphere of wealth.
I also have a man in Chihuahua, Mexico doing the exact same thing - if you are interested he could use support as well. He has been running his ministry with NO income or support, just local support - and only him as the worker bee. His daughter is a good friend of mine so I get constant updates on how it goes for him, the ministry and the general area (drug war - sigh). Prayer for him is good too ... his daughter, Veronica, could use real prayer as well, she is newly pregnant and it is NOT going well at all!
*****
Choos! (Swiss for: later 'gater!)
August 26, 2015
Cross Communication - Understanding
How do we go about understanding God better?
Mark 8:21
Luke 24:44-49
Stop Talking - LISTEN!
Proverbs 18:2
Listen to what God says!
"But, God does not talk to me..."
You would be amazed at what the Bible does not say, that everyone believes it does, but you have to read, study, think on and pray over ... yeah you might have to put the XBOX away and turn off ESPN.
Start Praying
Colossians 1:9-11
For :
"But, but, but, but ..."
Sorry, there are no buts in life. You either invest in God, or the world. Eternity is too important to think you can just bluff your way in.
Keep Studying
Psalms 119:130
Truth is Truth, but only if you make it your own.
Integrity is achieved when you understand there are absolute standards.
Psalms 119:105
King David, whom only had the books of Moses to deal with (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy), understood that all that was needed in life could be found there. And that is a whole lot less than we have been given ...
Think on that. David with just the first five books of the Bible, could glean more than we do with a much more encompassing message, vast study aids .... and the internet .... Hmmm, makes me feel like a loser when I consider this. But, it shows the power of the Holy Spirit in one whom is committed to God - as David was.
Desire to know God and His message - and He will reveal himself to you! Which means you will have acquired wisdom by then - also known as FEAR of God, the beginning of wisdom.
Mark 8:21
Luke 24:44-49
Stop Talking - LISTEN!
Proverbs 18:2
Listen to what God says!
"But, God does not talk to me..."
- Then read the Bible, His Word, everything He has to say to anybody is in there
- Meditate - find understanding through further study (think on this!)
- Research the verses you read, consider the words, consider the settings
- Pray!
You would be amazed at what the Bible does not say, that everyone believes it does, but you have to read, study, think on and pray over ... yeah you might have to put the XBOX away and turn off ESPN.
Start Praying
Colossians 1:9-11
For :
- Wisdom
- Understanding
- Knowledge
- Power
- Fruits of the Spirit
"But, but, but, but ..."
Sorry, there are no buts in life. You either invest in God, or the world. Eternity is too important to think you can just bluff your way in.
Keep Studying
Psalms 119:130
Truth is Truth, but only if you make it your own.
Integrity is achieved when you understand there are absolute standards.
Psalms 119:105
King David, whom only had the books of Moses to deal with (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy), understood that all that was needed in life could be found there. And that is a whole lot less than we have been given ...
Think on that. David with just the first five books of the Bible, could glean more than we do with a much more encompassing message, vast study aids .... and the internet .... Hmmm, makes me feel like a loser when I consider this. But, it shows the power of the Holy Spirit in one whom is committed to God - as David was.
Desire to know God and His message - and He will reveal himself to you! Which means you will have acquired wisdom by then - also known as FEAR of God, the beginning of wisdom.
August 25, 2015
Death of a Nation
I have been reading a great deal in the book of Isaiah lately, mostly because I have had a feeling for many decades that Isaiah's warnings to an unlistening nation - may well be applicable to this Western Pagan Culture we are a part of (worldwide) - driven by the United States of America. Certainly no greater spiritual whore has ever existed in millenia than what we are seeing today.
But, the Old Testament is full of warnings to both Israel and Judah, words falling on deft ears - even to the breaching of city walls! God warns and warns - but honestly, mankind does no more listen to Him than their own conscience! Then, God moves. And man laments the horrors brought on him by his own sin and "stiff necks". But by then their hearts and minds are so hard that none will turn their face to God, except in anger.
So what does bring about the death of a nation?
1. Religious Apostasy - turning from worship of God to worship of ourselves and our desires. It is pagan idolatry - pure and simple! Sure few are actually bowing down to a physical idol, however man has become addicted to greed, power, sex, pleasure, chemical stimulants! What will it takes for the world to divert your eyes from the living God to the fake one? ... you will be tried subtly, so much so you will never see it coming until one day you wake up and find out that God is no longer there for you! And He does WANT you, personally, in a relationship with Him.
2. Loss of Morality -following on the heels of an appearance of Religious Apostasy, comes the break down in relationships, marriage, sexual barriers, no concept that lying, cheating stealing is wrong, murder increases because man has no value - except in how you can use him. Warfare, disingenuous politicians, those whom will lead you astray from the pulpit. Heavens we see all of this happening! (So guess what has happened already! Yeah, number 1!)
3. Political Anarchy - everyone wants to do what they think is best for them and their interests! No one listens, no one learns! Since God does not exist then there is moral guidelines, there is no valid law, the is no absolute truth. The government and its officials will work diligently in their own interest - or at least against you if you truly are a believer in God. The world will brand you alien, outlaw, attempt to silence you. I wish I could say this does not happen but I could readily point to a host of countries fighting against God and His desires. Countries for whom peace is meaningless unless it is on their terms!
*****
Yeah, this is a dismal list! Heavens, apostasy began in the Reformation Movement! Our Bibles are good but man injected little things which were never there - but if you can use a Syrian Bible, if you can find one - it does have the original first century texts - because it dates to the first century! (and Erasmus with his Catholic beliefs could not contaminate it!) Man rejected the Syrian text because it was not Western (not invented here syndrome!). And the apostasy began - the fruits of which we see today in churches worldwide!
There are no more morals. It saddens me to know that my children were part of this hook up culture, not a respectful culture. I have worked for years with youth trying to show them that is approach to life is not only dangerous but un-Godly as well. Classic answers? "Well, that was okay in old times but we live in another time / another culture!" "It will not happen to me!" "It is okay, besides it is fun!"
Yeah, there is little difference between this culture and that of the Roman Empire in sexual freedom terms - with the exception that women have a right to say no these days. Any time, any where, any Roman male citizen could demand your body for their usage. You had nothing to say about this as a woman, you were literally a sex slave in that culture - just by the fact of existing! How is that different than hooking up these days?
Yeah, it will happen to you. You are not an exception. Disease, some fatal, all await you and your hormones. God's displeasure is not something you want to have to endure! And He does know your sin you think hidden so well, and He does care, and He does know what is best for you.
Sin is fun, face it, no one would sin if there was not pleasure, fun or something to gain by doing it! And, Satan knows how to play us like you would not believe. "It" has much experience at destroying humans - you are just one more opportunity for it to prove to God that mankind is not worth the effort and "its" way is far better.
America is at a major decision point. Continuing Godlessness or begin the slow turn away from the satanic direction this country has been heading for generations! The wrong choice in the ballot box and the fate will be sealed - but we have a chance to turn from sin - but it has to begin in your heart! Anarchy is not pleasant to live through, civil war is horrible, totalitarianism is not going to solve this cultures ills. But, paganism holds so strong a grip on this nation's people that I hold little hope for a miracle.
But, at least for me, I know I am His, as are my loved ones. Yeah some of them play their games and believe it does not matter to God, but at least they can be called out sin to wake up because they are His in the first place.
*****
Psalms 2:1 "Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?"
Habakkuk 2:4 "The just shall live by His faith."
But, the Old Testament is full of warnings to both Israel and Judah, words falling on deft ears - even to the breaching of city walls! God warns and warns - but honestly, mankind does no more listen to Him than their own conscience! Then, God moves. And man laments the horrors brought on him by his own sin and "stiff necks". But by then their hearts and minds are so hard that none will turn their face to God, except in anger.
So what does bring about the death of a nation?
1. Religious Apostasy - turning from worship of God to worship of ourselves and our desires. It is pagan idolatry - pure and simple! Sure few are actually bowing down to a physical idol, however man has become addicted to greed, power, sex, pleasure, chemical stimulants! What will it takes for the world to divert your eyes from the living God to the fake one? ... you will be tried subtly, so much so you will never see it coming until one day you wake up and find out that God is no longer there for you! And He does WANT you, personally, in a relationship with Him.
2. Loss of Morality -following on the heels of an appearance of Religious Apostasy, comes the break down in relationships, marriage, sexual barriers, no concept that lying, cheating stealing is wrong, murder increases because man has no value - except in how you can use him. Warfare, disingenuous politicians, those whom will lead you astray from the pulpit. Heavens we see all of this happening! (So guess what has happened already! Yeah, number 1!)
3. Political Anarchy - everyone wants to do what they think is best for them and their interests! No one listens, no one learns! Since God does not exist then there is moral guidelines, there is no valid law, the is no absolute truth. The government and its officials will work diligently in their own interest - or at least against you if you truly are a believer in God. The world will brand you alien, outlaw, attempt to silence you. I wish I could say this does not happen but I could readily point to a host of countries fighting against God and His desires. Countries for whom peace is meaningless unless it is on their terms!
*****
Yeah, this is a dismal list! Heavens, apostasy began in the Reformation Movement! Our Bibles are good but man injected little things which were never there - but if you can use a Syrian Bible, if you can find one - it does have the original first century texts - because it dates to the first century! (and Erasmus with his Catholic beliefs could not contaminate it!) Man rejected the Syrian text because it was not Western (not invented here syndrome!). And the apostasy began - the fruits of which we see today in churches worldwide!
There are no more morals. It saddens me to know that my children were part of this hook up culture, not a respectful culture. I have worked for years with youth trying to show them that is approach to life is not only dangerous but un-Godly as well. Classic answers? "Well, that was okay in old times but we live in another time / another culture!" "It will not happen to me!" "It is okay, besides it is fun!"
Yeah, there is little difference between this culture and that of the Roman Empire in sexual freedom terms - with the exception that women have a right to say no these days. Any time, any where, any Roman male citizen could demand your body for their usage. You had nothing to say about this as a woman, you were literally a sex slave in that culture - just by the fact of existing! How is that different than hooking up these days?
Yeah, it will happen to you. You are not an exception. Disease, some fatal, all await you and your hormones. God's displeasure is not something you want to have to endure! And He does know your sin you think hidden so well, and He does care, and He does know what is best for you.
Sin is fun, face it, no one would sin if there was not pleasure, fun or something to gain by doing it! And, Satan knows how to play us like you would not believe. "It" has much experience at destroying humans - you are just one more opportunity for it to prove to God that mankind is not worth the effort and "its" way is far better.
America is at a major decision point. Continuing Godlessness or begin the slow turn away from the satanic direction this country has been heading for generations! The wrong choice in the ballot box and the fate will be sealed - but we have a chance to turn from sin - but it has to begin in your heart! Anarchy is not pleasant to live through, civil war is horrible, totalitarianism is not going to solve this cultures ills. But, paganism holds so strong a grip on this nation's people that I hold little hope for a miracle.
But, at least for me, I know I am His, as are my loved ones. Yeah some of them play their games and believe it does not matter to God, but at least they can be called out sin to wake up because they are His in the first place.
*****
Psalms 2:1 "Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?"
Habakkuk 2:4 "The just shall live by His faith."
August 24, 2015
Remember
Since I have been posting on memories and I thought it would be interesting to see what can I find about memories or remembering in the Bible. It was interesting:
Hebrews 3:18-20
Remember You Are Blessed.
Don't ever forget you benefit from God.
Thank Him in all things!
Even if you think it is insufficient.
Psalms 10:3-5
Remember God In The Hard Times
Jonah faced death in the deep, perhaps you have lost everything, perhaps God has reduced you to your elemental state in order to rebuild you ... not pleasant times, but He gives, He takes, He must control all in your life.
Jonah 2:7
Remember God In The Good Times
Yeah, we tend to forget Him when we can fend for ourselves ... forgetting He gives us everything we have.
You only think you are smart enough to manage what He gives you, you need Him more than ever when you live in abundance!
Deuteronomy 8:11-18
Remember Those In Need
Love Jesus, "by this they will know you".
Prayer for those being martyred and persecuted, even today as you read this.
Pray for those with no freedoms.
Pray for those jailed.
Galatians 2:10
Hebrews 13:3
Remember Your Covenant
Communion is the best example of this.
But, let us not forget that everything you have is from God ... want to share it with Him?
Hebrews 3:18-20
Remember You Are Blessed.
Don't ever forget you benefit from God.
Thank Him in all things!
Even if you think it is insufficient.
Psalms 10:3-5
Remember God In The Hard Times
Jonah faced death in the deep, perhaps you have lost everything, perhaps God has reduced you to your elemental state in order to rebuild you ... not pleasant times, but He gives, He takes, He must control all in your life.
Jonah 2:7
Remember God In The Good Times
Yeah, we tend to forget Him when we can fend for ourselves ... forgetting He gives us everything we have.
You only think you are smart enough to manage what He gives you, you need Him more than ever when you live in abundance!
Deuteronomy 8:11-18
Remember Those In Need
Love Jesus, "by this they will know you".
Prayer for those being martyred and persecuted, even today as you read this.
Pray for those with no freedoms.
Pray for those jailed.
Galatians 2:10
Hebrews 13:3
Remember Your Covenant
Communion is the best example of this.
But, let us not forget that everything you have is from God ... want to share it with Him?
August 22, 2015
Musical Saturday Morning
And so, the annual observation of the repeatable worse week of my life has passed on Wednesday. It is with a sense of relief that life perhaps will return to normal - PLEASE dear God!
Of course, as if it was not bad enough to be morose and introspective but what did YOUTUBE feel led to do but queue this song for me Monday night. Really? I have not suffered enough mentally but we have to now remember songs whose message ... of love lost, drive that knife deeper, twist the blade good, suck from me the last drop of my broken spirit.
Were I to post about that anniversary week, you simply would not believe what did go on in my life - all of the rabbit trails and attempts to knock me sideways. Even sitting here, I am not sure how I could write just the intrigues of Saturday or Sunday with anyone being able to believe the weird manifestations that took place (yeah I still had fun at the art classes, but ...). It truly was all too weird - yes, I kept my eye on the prize as best I could and minimized any self damage this time. God in His mercy helped more than a little on Monday ...
But the song does fit well with a moment in my life, a time when I thought there could be life, but it seems I was wrong - I think. Who knows? Not me, I never did understand, one day perhaps I will (hopefully the answer is not, "You are sooooo stupid!"). For now one stands on the sideline wishing there was popcorn to eat for the tension of the unknown future has hung over me for quite some time. If I was wrong in what I knew, well life as usual once this disability has passed and I live under a tree somewhere. If I was right, well pain and misery combined with true joy. Still will be living under a tree but if one is happy .....
August 21, 2015
Painting Workshop
I have slowly been getting stronger and able to stay awake longer periods of time, with that has come the ability to drive a little on weekends - no more than 30 minutes at a shot however. This past weekend was a special event at Daniel Smith - favorite art store and only 13 minutes from my house.
They brought in Laurin McCracken, one of the top five watercolor painters in the world! If you click on the link you will be taken to the Recent Paintings page on his website. I really do not like still life painting, which he excels in, but I went to his lecture on Dutch Masters - very good. Then a lecture on how to sell art - OMG!, I never knew what a used car salesman environment the art world really was! So, got all of those in's and out's in my notes now. And then a talk about how he created one of his paintings ...
Sunday, he offered a class - and I have never done any of Daniel Smith's Sunday classes before, but with an early service at church, I was able to hit Starbucks for iced tea and still make the class. I expected to do no painting, just listen and observe. It was awe inspiring this man's talent, his ability to communicate (with a strong Mississippi accent!) and one gets the idea he is a very regular guy.
As usual, there were four times as many women as men in the class - it drew only 8 of us! World class artist, thousands of artists in Seattle and 8 showed up - simply amazing! But, small classes also mean that you are going to learn! My most valuable lesson? How to make a smooth non-streaking black for backgrounds - a curse in my paintings! That alone was worth the $100 cost - probably the best money spent in quite a while!
Check out the link above and see the kinds of work which have set him apart in the world of art.
Best part of the weekend though, was I had a chance to talk with him during breaks. I found out he started painting at age 60. He had always loved to draw but had never painted. Now, 12 years later, he is at the top of the art world.
So, there is hope for Kris after-all! Cleaning house this week so I can paint next weekend!!!!!
:)
They brought in Laurin McCracken, one of the top five watercolor painters in the world! If you click on the link you will be taken to the Recent Paintings page on his website. I really do not like still life painting, which he excels in, but I went to his lecture on Dutch Masters - very good. Then a lecture on how to sell art - OMG!, I never knew what a used car salesman environment the art world really was! So, got all of those in's and out's in my notes now. And then a talk about how he created one of his paintings ...
Sunday, he offered a class - and I have never done any of Daniel Smith's Sunday classes before, but with an early service at church, I was able to hit Starbucks for iced tea and still make the class. I expected to do no painting, just listen and observe. It was awe inspiring this man's talent, his ability to communicate (with a strong Mississippi accent!) and one gets the idea he is a very regular guy.
As usual, there were four times as many women as men in the class - it drew only 8 of us! World class artist, thousands of artists in Seattle and 8 showed up - simply amazing! But, small classes also mean that you are going to learn! My most valuable lesson? How to make a smooth non-streaking black for backgrounds - a curse in my paintings! That alone was worth the $100 cost - probably the best money spent in quite a while!
Check out the link above and see the kinds of work which have set him apart in the world of art.
Best part of the weekend though, was I had a chance to talk with him during breaks. I found out he started painting at age 60. He had always loved to draw but had never painted. Now, 12 years later, he is at the top of the art world.
So, there is hope for Kris after-all! Cleaning house this week so I can paint next weekend!!!!!
:)
August 20, 2015
Facing Reality
I wrote this Monday night. A bit bummed, for it was a hard anniversary week - with all of the sly pitfalls Satan can hurl my way. Now editing it to reflect reality this morning!
Since I could not sleep Sunday night, for I was still so wound up from the weekend with Laurin McCracken, I did a great deal of thinking...
I really do want to paint much more than I do, so I am going to have to force myself and those around me to understand that I want at least four hours a day (or more!) to just practice my art. Yeah, I know it will suck but I want to practice and then maybe one day not suck! Big maybe.
At the Daniel Smith store there is a new cashier by the name of, Mink. Mink? Who would name your kid that!?!?!?! Turns out it is just a name she liked and chose it. Then what is my nick name? Oh dear! In reality it is either Dork or Flake, your choice, I have been called that since I first started working on computers in 1972 - and understood how they worked as if by my very nature! Why? Because I was defined as having nothing in common with reality. She just stared at me and stepped back like I was a leper. Really, computer nerds are scarey now? Clowns are scarey, snowmen are evil, computer nerds are relatively harmless .... But, yeah, I was a flake, still am, and still need help with reality - since no one seems to want to help me with that one!
Since the infection and fever (which almost killed me), I have developed a tremor. Usually I do not notice it, but Friday I was looking at Ruger's new pistol offerings and - oh yeah, it was noticeable! So, I am planning a range day for next month after school starts so I can see how bad this tremor is. If I can not match shots such as I am known for - it maybe time to sell the collection. Of what value are rifles with 1600 meter ranges, if you can not hold the rifle to make the shot? Or my competition pistols for that matter. If I can still do a 100 meter shots, then I will keep my hunting rifles, else they go as well. I am hoping I can hold well enough for my .22 long rifle arms - it would sadden me greatly to have to part with them. But October is the next show, so a good time to see them go!
Conversely, I could go with black powder, they are only good for short distances anyway. Perhaps time for a 1760 Charlesville rifle in .69 caliber? :) They will crater anything within 40 yards, not so much value after that though. LOL ...
And in further facing of reality, how can one know? I used to be able to "know" the future, I could see it plain as day, now it is a little muddy. Oh I still seem to have retained the curse of "know"ing some people I see or meet. But, I am beginning to understand how many think of life as a crap shoot - roll the dice, what is, is. Fatalistic.
In watercolor class on Sunday was a lawyer - I "know" to be a bitter old man, a bully. So he decided that he wanted to represent me in a suit against the hospital which messed me up. I loudly told him it was terminal, without the intervention of God. "Good luck on that one.", was his reply. Yeah, the words of a bitter man whom blames God for his own choices in life. I have met many like him through the years, just never could understand their problem until now. So much like my mining partner now living in Arizona. Of course, his issue with God was the shafting he got in high school from his church - and I have to agree, what happened is inexcusable on the part of the church. But, it scarred him for life. Now 87, he still can not forgive God for what happened, nor see that it was very broken humans in the church whom framed him - not God. It was all in his response, not in what others did. Sigh ...
And I am finally working on a letter to the family, laying out what has happened to me and where I am now in the recovery process. Yeah, I am putting up an expensive fight! But, in the end, we are dealing with a form of staph, which has attacked my heart. My major organs are at at level 4 in their failure sequences. I can not manufacture red blood cells, the iron transport system is down, the white blood cells are attacking the antibiotic - it is just a mess inside of me it seems. And I may now have Homolytic Anemia.
Such a fun letter to write because now, today, I KNOW my body has recovered by "magic". No, it is God, and they are going to hear all about it! :) Maybe one day I will introduce myself to all of my friends and family - this new Kris is not going to be what they are expecting ... nor may like any longer.
And finally, it is with its due emphasis to know that everything I am undergoing is in the realm of God's good, not my own. My sufferings are to His glory, to His witness, to His demonstration - so I am witnessing to all around me - so they can watch and see - perhaps to then find Him waiting. It is not so hard, there is nothing of old Kris left and new Kris is still forming. I am free to just be who I am - a broken man, whom can witness to God's power and grace ...
And perhaps, one day joy and happiness ...
Since I could not sleep Sunday night, for I was still so wound up from the weekend with Laurin McCracken, I did a great deal of thinking...
I really do want to paint much more than I do, so I am going to have to force myself and those around me to understand that I want at least four hours a day (or more!) to just practice my art. Yeah, I know it will suck but I want to practice and then maybe one day not suck! Big maybe.
At the Daniel Smith store there is a new cashier by the name of, Mink. Mink? Who would name your kid that!?!?!?! Turns out it is just a name she liked and chose it. Then what is my nick name? Oh dear! In reality it is either Dork or Flake, your choice, I have been called that since I first started working on computers in 1972 - and understood how they worked as if by my very nature! Why? Because I was defined as having nothing in common with reality. She just stared at me and stepped back like I was a leper. Really, computer nerds are scarey now? Clowns are scarey, snowmen are evil, computer nerds are relatively harmless .... But, yeah, I was a flake, still am, and still need help with reality - since no one seems to want to help me with that one!
Since the infection and fever (which almost killed me), I have developed a tremor. Usually I do not notice it, but Friday I was looking at Ruger's new pistol offerings and - oh yeah, it was noticeable! So, I am planning a range day for next month after school starts so I can see how bad this tremor is. If I can not match shots such as I am known for - it maybe time to sell the collection. Of what value are rifles with 1600 meter ranges, if you can not hold the rifle to make the shot? Or my competition pistols for that matter. If I can still do a 100 meter shots, then I will keep my hunting rifles, else they go as well. I am hoping I can hold well enough for my .22 long rifle arms - it would sadden me greatly to have to part with them. But October is the next show, so a good time to see them go!
Conversely, I could go with black powder, they are only good for short distances anyway. Perhaps time for a 1760 Charlesville rifle in .69 caliber? :) They will crater anything within 40 yards, not so much value after that though. LOL ...
And in further facing of reality, how can one know? I used to be able to "know" the future, I could see it plain as day, now it is a little muddy. Oh I still seem to have retained the curse of "know"ing some people I see or meet. But, I am beginning to understand how many think of life as a crap shoot - roll the dice, what is, is. Fatalistic.
In watercolor class on Sunday was a lawyer - I "know" to be a bitter old man, a bully. So he decided that he wanted to represent me in a suit against the hospital which messed me up. I loudly told him it was terminal, without the intervention of God. "Good luck on that one.", was his reply. Yeah, the words of a bitter man whom blames God for his own choices in life. I have met many like him through the years, just never could understand their problem until now. So much like my mining partner now living in Arizona. Of course, his issue with God was the shafting he got in high school from his church - and I have to agree, what happened is inexcusable on the part of the church. But, it scarred him for life. Now 87, he still can not forgive God for what happened, nor see that it was very broken humans in the church whom framed him - not God. It was all in his response, not in what others did. Sigh ...
And I am finally working on a letter to the family, laying out what has happened to me and where I am now in the recovery process. Yeah, I am putting up an expensive fight! But, in the end, we are dealing with a form of staph, which has attacked my heart. My major organs are at at level 4 in their failure sequences. I can not manufacture red blood cells, the iron transport system is down, the white blood cells are attacking the antibiotic - it is just a mess inside of me it seems. And I may now have Homolytic Anemia.
Such a fun letter to write because now, today, I KNOW my body has recovered by "magic". No, it is God, and they are going to hear all about it! :) Maybe one day I will introduce myself to all of my friends and family - this new Kris is not going to be what they are expecting ... nor may like any longer.
And finally, it is with its due emphasis to know that everything I am undergoing is in the realm of God's good, not my own. My sufferings are to His glory, to His witness, to His demonstration - so I am witnessing to all around me - so they can watch and see - perhaps to then find Him waiting. It is not so hard, there is nothing of old Kris left and new Kris is still forming. I am free to just be who I am - a broken man, whom can witness to God's power and grace ...
And perhaps, one day joy and happiness ...
August 19, 2015
An Unexpected Miracle
So Tuesday afternoon was check-in day with the Infectious Disease doctor and to hear what he and the CDC and/or WHO had managed to come up with. The voluminous blood tests all showed I was dying if something could not be found ...
But Monday's blood draws instead of showing the same trends as the prior 6 weeks, showed me to be perfectly normal.
Really? And people question whether prayer works? Really?
Think about this - for six weeks limited or no kidneys, liver, bone marrow, oxygen carrying diminished as the red blood cells died, there was no iron because the body simply shut down that whole cycle!
And today I sit here - with perfectly normal numbers.
Oh, my body may show the effects of the damage done, my red blood cells may still be smaller than normal and cupped, but everything is working.
Pray God because we are talking miracle here.
The poor doctor was going crazy pouring over his tracking charts and NOTHING supported any idea of a reversal or recovery in any of the failing features.
He does not deal in miracles, he deals in facts and data.
He hit an anomaly and those do not exist to the practical mind.
How positive is he of my recovery as of today?
Next Friday, not this Friday, he is going to pull the catheter in my heart! And I will get my right arm back. And I will get to sleep in at 4 AM, rather than pumping myself full of antibiotics! And maybe I will get my appetite back. Maybe I can get on with life!
The worse week of my life anniversary seems to have lost some of its sting suddenly.
Thank you for your prayers, spread the word: Prayer works! And I am grateful for you, your faithfulness and another chance at life ...
But Monday's blood draws instead of showing the same trends as the prior 6 weeks, showed me to be perfectly normal.
Really? And people question whether prayer works? Really?
Think about this - for six weeks limited or no kidneys, liver, bone marrow, oxygen carrying diminished as the red blood cells died, there was no iron because the body simply shut down that whole cycle!
And today I sit here - with perfectly normal numbers.
Oh, my body may show the effects of the damage done, my red blood cells may still be smaller than normal and cupped, but everything is working.
Pray God because we are talking miracle here.
The poor doctor was going crazy pouring over his tracking charts and NOTHING supported any idea of a reversal or recovery in any of the failing features.
He does not deal in miracles, he deals in facts and data.
He hit an anomaly and those do not exist to the practical mind.
How positive is he of my recovery as of today?
Next Friday, not this Friday, he is going to pull the catheter in my heart! And I will get my right arm back. And I will get to sleep in at 4 AM, rather than pumping myself full of antibiotics! And maybe I will get my appetite back. Maybe I can get on with life!
The worse week of my life anniversary seems to have lost some of its sting suddenly.
Thank you for your prayers, spread the word: Prayer works! And I am grateful for you, your faithfulness and another chance at life ...
August 18, 2015
Noted In Passing
I am very artsy-fartsy, I hang out at craft stores and woodworking centers. No matter where I travel, I can always be found somewhere around them!
That was how I met Billy Baugh, a woodworker and gentle man.
I took a great many classes from him and in more recent times standing close to him and whispering what he had forgotten or needed to do. He was 82, went in for surgery, did not survive. Such a loss.
The wood shop he used to own, then did demos in, is handling the vast lumber estate for his wife - and selling off of tools as well. But, I asked them if they would see if the wife would part with any of the hundreds of pens in his desk he had made. I would like to buy one, to remember him, to remind myself that there are nice people in this world worth imitating in your own life.
Since the utter crushing of my own spirit months ago, as I lay in ER dying, I have thought often as to what God would do with me. If I am to be raised up to a physical life again (and that is a big IF, I have not survived yet the infection they gave me!) - what would I like to be or show to others. Until yesterday, I had no answer, but given the choice I would like to be the friendly, helpful, gentle soul that Billy was. I have not had much practice in that regard but it is never too late to learn and thus reinvent oneself.
He will certainly be missed, there are too few gentle souls in this world.
I took a great many classes from him and in more recent times standing close to him and whispering what he had forgotten or needed to do. He was 82, went in for surgery, did not survive. Such a loss.
The wood shop he used to own, then did demos in, is handling the vast lumber estate for his wife - and selling off of tools as well. But, I asked them if they would see if the wife would part with any of the hundreds of pens in his desk he had made. I would like to buy one, to remember him, to remind myself that there are nice people in this world worth imitating in your own life.
Since the utter crushing of my own spirit months ago, as I lay in ER dying, I have thought often as to what God would do with me. If I am to be raised up to a physical life again (and that is a big IF, I have not survived yet the infection they gave me!) - what would I like to be or show to others. Until yesterday, I had no answer, but given the choice I would like to be the friendly, helpful, gentle soul that Billy was. I have not had much practice in that regard but it is never too late to learn and thus reinvent oneself.
He will certainly be missed, there are too few gentle souls in this world.
August 17, 2015
Blast From The Past
So, I was cleaning around my bed this weekend a little, digging out everything, matching shoes, throwing stuff away. And I found my box. My box is an old wine box from about 1965, New's Year Eve and some of the worse hung over people since the invention of wine parties. (Wait a minute I think my left eye just rolled back into my head at the horror of the memory of that next day!)
In the box are memories. News clippings and photos of my canoeing from Minnesota to Hudson's Bay and back. The first shooting award I won - age 10 in France. Letters from dead relatives. Photos of people whom have been important in my life but are now long gone. A gaufrette recipe from my mentor (see dedication at beginning of Pleasures in Cooking). Awards from when I sang competitively and musicals I was in. A tiny rock from Gibraltar, another from Fort Sumter. The comic book I bought for the flight from Germany to the USA - I should have bought maybe 6 - what a flight! Mementos which bring a smile to my lips - of another day, another time, another Kris.
First drawings from my first God-children, children and ones of great importance to me. In fact were this house to burn down, that is the only thing that I will make sure to retrieve - even if I am burned doing so. Those drawings are incredibly valuable to me.
Photos of my father, my grandfather, my grandmother, my beloved great uncle whom raised me. Pictures from the farm so long gone and ones I took with my first camera around Seaside in the days of black and white! All of my ski patches from being on the ski patrol, from being Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue, my rescue diver credentials. The list goes on.
No it would not be the death of me if all was lost but it would hurt to lose them from my life. But, it also hurts to see the long dead, for my heart mourns the loss of them. We were never created to know death. ... And the lone Polaroid, taken when Dutchman and I went out for an evening with our intendeds. Well, I think she was beautiful, I thought her mother was as well, so she probably still is. But, it was what was behind the glasses that had drawn me to her ... an honest heart and intentional spirit, whom could have known how tragic it would all turn out, but that special someone died a very long time ago. (I have only seen one other person with an honest heart and intentional spirit, in my lifetime ... ) Adrienne, an Italian friend was out with us took the pictures with her new Polaroid and we all laughed at how geeky Dutchman and I looked in our photos. The femme fatales were perfect of course.
I guess I can share this, it has been 42 years ago now .... a time of leisure suits, white shoes, turtle necks and hot pants. I was so terrified, out of my league and I knew it, but she liked this computer nerd. I drove a 1964 Rambler American (my Austin Healy Cambridge was dead at the time) and she had a 1967 fastback Mustang. I did mention I was out of my league, right? And it was a difficult photo, I was 6'4.5" and she 5'10". So, I was actually leaning on the wall behind me with my legs shot out in front. It was easier for Dutchman and Sister Becca, they were both 6 foot tall!
Now that I think of it, we were in Dutchman's Opel Kadet that night, I had lost my water pump in the Rambler. It is always something with any car I own or drive! At the time, Dutchman was hooked on a nurse - Rebecca, yes same Sister Becca I have mentioned in past blogs. No one could tell him she did not feel for him as he did for her. She was a beautiful Christian young woman but was determined to never be dominated by a man. And she was not, she - like my Swedish Model - are still single, having never married. No neither are/were "gay". Guess you have to say that these days.
A few years ago I flew my children to see my grandmother, stopped for lunch at Red Robin and I kept hearing this voice, so familiar, so vague, I just could not place it and yet I knew it well. I finally turned and took a look at the booth across from us to behold SM out with some girl friends. I guess that she is let out of the hospital occasionally. I was so tempted to walk by and whisper something mysterious in her ear that would leave her screaming at two in the morning when she figured it out. (still makes me smile to think of that!) But, I am nothing if not a coward, hiding behind his breeding as a Gentleman ....
And later I crossed paths with her mother several times. But, that does not make for happy memories, so I will end that one here. Besides it is somewhere in the Little Apple ...
In the box are memories. News clippings and photos of my canoeing from Minnesota to Hudson's Bay and back. The first shooting award I won - age 10 in France. Letters from dead relatives. Photos of people whom have been important in my life but are now long gone. A gaufrette recipe from my mentor (see dedication at beginning of Pleasures in Cooking). Awards from when I sang competitively and musicals I was in. A tiny rock from Gibraltar, another from Fort Sumter. The comic book I bought for the flight from Germany to the USA - I should have bought maybe 6 - what a flight! Mementos which bring a smile to my lips - of another day, another time, another Kris.
First drawings from my first God-children, children and ones of great importance to me. In fact were this house to burn down, that is the only thing that I will make sure to retrieve - even if I am burned doing so. Those drawings are incredibly valuable to me.
Photos of my father, my grandfather, my grandmother, my beloved great uncle whom raised me. Pictures from the farm so long gone and ones I took with my first camera around Seaside in the days of black and white! All of my ski patches from being on the ski patrol, from being Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue, my rescue diver credentials. The list goes on.
No it would not be the death of me if all was lost but it would hurt to lose them from my life. But, it also hurts to see the long dead, for my heart mourns the loss of them. We were never created to know death. ... And the lone Polaroid, taken when Dutchman and I went out for an evening with our intendeds. Well, I think she was beautiful, I thought her mother was as well, so she probably still is. But, it was what was behind the glasses that had drawn me to her ... an honest heart and intentional spirit, whom could have known how tragic it would all turn out, but that special someone died a very long time ago. (I have only seen one other person with an honest heart and intentional spirit, in my lifetime ... ) Adrienne, an Italian friend was out with us took the pictures with her new Polaroid and we all laughed at how geeky Dutchman and I looked in our photos. The femme fatales were perfect of course.
Now that I think of it, we were in Dutchman's Opel Kadet that night, I had lost my water pump in the Rambler. It is always something with any car I own or drive! At the time, Dutchman was hooked on a nurse - Rebecca, yes same Sister Becca I have mentioned in past blogs. No one could tell him she did not feel for him as he did for her. She was a beautiful Christian young woman but was determined to never be dominated by a man. And she was not, she - like my Swedish Model - are still single, having never married. No neither are/were "gay". Guess you have to say that these days.
A few years ago I flew my children to see my grandmother, stopped for lunch at Red Robin and I kept hearing this voice, so familiar, so vague, I just could not place it and yet I knew it well. I finally turned and took a look at the booth across from us to behold SM out with some girl friends. I guess that she is let out of the hospital occasionally. I was so tempted to walk by and whisper something mysterious in her ear that would leave her screaming at two in the morning when she figured it out. (still makes me smile to think of that!) But, I am nothing if not a coward, hiding behind his breeding as a Gentleman ....
And later I crossed paths with her mother several times. But, that does not make for happy memories, so I will end that one here. Besides it is somewhere in the Little Apple ...
August 15, 2015
Musical Saturday Morning
Coming up is an unpleasant anniversary week for me, so painful that I have struggled to keep this text here for two weeks, this is not who I am - remembering wrongs, but it is whom I used to be ...
First up in horrors was my parents dragging me, literally kicking and screaming, from my beloved homeland (Germany) to what the news described as a war torn America. Okay, the US turned out not as bad as expected - but those first two years in South Carolina were far in excess of what was reported in Europe at the time!
In 1970, I met a girl I really liked, Roberta and after visiting her three times at her house and meeting her family - her father was so horrified, he literally sold the house and moved the family to South Denver - so that his daughter would not get hooked on a piece of "white meat" ... That one hurt, at least in South Carolina I was treated well by the black community - not in the progressive West it seems.
Then my only girl friend in high school, evaporated from my life this week, 1973. I was now seeing a trend, this was a cursed week for me! But, I do not believe in curses or luck or circumstance. But, this same week also saw my leaving home in Denver and moving to Seattle - really long story but it was not good, my family tossed me out because of rumors that held no truth. There was nothing left in Denver for me.
And this week, across the next several years, saw the sanity of friendship melt into insanity and friends suddenly "disappearing" or making the oddest of decisions, which drove them from my life. It was more than a trend by now - it was an observed fact! And I had no response ... how could I? What made this week so "special"?
It is hard not to comment that this 1976 ELO album's release coincided with my fiancee, the Swedish Model, dumping me and latching onto my best friend at the same time. First I knew of their involvement was when I discovered her in bed with him during a surprise visit. Surprise! Oh, if only I was not a Hutterite and avowed pacifist, they both would have both died in that moment! But, instead, I quietly crept back out of his apartment and left them to their betrayal, while I cried my soul out to the wind - I walked for miles that morning. In fact, the first time I heard this song was during my travel when I went to see my mother ... yeah, I needed my mom just then. Of course, it also seems that every Barry Manilow song ever written had to be played as well - no matter the station during that drive! More than once I prayed God would just blow my car off the road and just end it for me.
(side note: mother left a note on her fridge saying she had gone to Hafia to work on a new dig site (she was an archaeologist) and to please help myself to the fridge contents! Sure glad I had called first, mom and food was the last thing I wanted ... death would have been so much more preferable. 1,500 miles of Barry Manilow just for this! Sommer, my sister, offered that I was far better off without SM in my life. Like somehow that helps? Sigh ... )
Once back home, I returned the ring I had taken with me on that trip, the girl at the counter was filling out the return form and asked for a reason ... I quietly said, "She chose poorly."
The girl looked up at me confused, looked around and then said, "If you gave this to me, I would say yes ......" Sentence left hanging in the air.
I was in such a state of shock, by the betrayal, that it took me years to figure out what her reply had actually meant. And then I thought, "What the heck was wrong with that girl? She does not know me from Adam!" (hmmm, I wonder if she still works at that shop ... ?)
I was permanently broken. Wanting to trust, unable to trust ...
I saved a ton of money by dropping SM from my life! Just my phone bill that year was usually $300 a month (in 1975 dollars)! Well almost saved, I bought an Alfa Romeo to distract me. A very nice car, a very fast car and though lots of females hung around the car when I was at the Friday night races, my utter lack of interest was apparently my protection ... Or, perhaps, it is just that I have always been the flake-nerd-geek in every crowd. Yeah, being a computer geek can be a curse or a blessing, depending on how you view it! Except when I cross paths with an intelligent female - then I am toast.
And add the young lady whom was responsible for my becoming a Christian in the first place back in 1973 going totally nuts this anniversary week and calling me every name in the book as she stormed out of my life! Uhm, we guys, Dutchman, Swede and assorted others in my life at that time - were really stunned at how ALL females had been removed by God (?) in such a short period of time. They were all friends and sisters ... I thought we were in any event ... I know I can be naive but really I could not see how I had caused or contributed to this bizarre chain of events. We, the brotherhood of four, founded Bachelors Until the Rapture, or BUR! Took laughingly funny oaths of singleness and held monthly meetings at Shakey's Pizza, when we were all in the area.
*****
The rest of the story:
Yes, two years later, I did relent, even though I had done everything "right" the first time around and my best friend had not, I did seek to offer under the terms of unconditional love ... forgiveness for the betrayal and another shot at an engagement. It was all God, not me. I thought she accepted, I know she did, but she turned up in bed with Dutchman the next morning and not packed to go with me, as she had said she desired. Again, I quietly left, though I did comment to Dutchman later I felt very sorry for him.
As for Dutchman, I have mentioned last year the suffering he has lived with through all these decades at his betrayal of me and hers of him. He has been haunted by that night for all of these years. I truly am sorry for him - love known, then abandoned ... At long last I am able to understand. But, now that he had confessed this to me last year, he has been too embarrassed to see, talk or even text with me.
Just more collateral damage to place on SM's account, which I closed years ago when I realized that she truly is an Evil Woman.
August 14, 2015
Teas And Tisanes
Nothing excites me more than to learn something new! It is why I have so enjoyed teaching for so many decades, I always learn more personally than is ever passed on to those I am leading.
So, yesterday I was working on an article called, "The Perfect Cup of Tea", a future post on my Pleasures In Cooking blog I am trying to restart. So many ideas, but I have to actually make the perfect cup of tea to prove it does make the best cup! So far, one site's instructions literally blew the spout off of a 200 year old tea pot! I should have known better - but that German part of me was following instructions! (the main reason the German rail system was destroyed during the last war - plant a bomb and then paint "verboten" on the access to the bomb. No German would ever try to access a forbidden area!) Sigh ....
But during the course of my readings, I came across the term, "Tisane". Never had ever ran into it before but I was to learn that in essence a Tisane is just an herbal tea!
So cool, a new word! Of course, then I came across some interesting ideas for herbal teas. I really do not like spiced or herbal teas, but I bookmarked them so I can check them out later. Several of my friends do like these, so perhaps I will make up mixtures for Christmas for them ... hmmmm ...
As for the perfect cup of tea, still working on that one. It must be truly the perfect cup of tea for me to document it - and preferably not blow the spout off the tea pot! And I am learning a great deal about the history of tea I never knew as well.
Well must go, I have so much more research to do! And I now have a strong desire to bake a batch of scones or singing hinnies (a tradition in my family!) ...
So, yesterday I was working on an article called, "The Perfect Cup of Tea", a future post on my Pleasures In Cooking blog I am trying to restart. So many ideas, but I have to actually make the perfect cup of tea to prove it does make the best cup! So far, one site's instructions literally blew the spout off of a 200 year old tea pot! I should have known better - but that German part of me was following instructions! (the main reason the German rail system was destroyed during the last war - plant a bomb and then paint "verboten" on the access to the bomb. No German would ever try to access a forbidden area!) Sigh ....
But during the course of my readings, I came across the term, "Tisane". Never had ever ran into it before but I was to learn that in essence a Tisane is just an herbal tea!
So cool, a new word! Of course, then I came across some interesting ideas for herbal teas. I really do not like spiced or herbal teas, but I bookmarked them so I can check them out later. Several of my friends do like these, so perhaps I will make up mixtures for Christmas for them ... hmmmm ...
As for the perfect cup of tea, still working on that one. It must be truly the perfect cup of tea for me to document it - and preferably not blow the spout off the tea pot! And I am learning a great deal about the history of tea I never knew as well.
Well must go, I have so much more research to do! And I now have a strong desire to bake a batch of scones or singing hinnies (a tradition in my family!) ...
August 13, 2015
Ramblings
Sort of surprising to me, but I just saw that for the second time this year, someone in Russia is downloading the contents of "Thoughts From the Little Apple". It pleases me that someone, much less in a distant land, can find value in my old ramblings. I kind of wish people left comments or sent emails these days. I wonder at what they find valuable, I wonder at what they are seeking, I would love to research something for someone - to be of service to anyone these days! And it is not like I have very many random readers, same 495 for years!
I live a very solitary existence, with random chances to be outside amongst the living - usually once a week, and not doctor related. So not much interaction with ANY people. Not much sense of value these days ...
*****
My son in-law had a birthday a few weeks ago, but as you know, if you are a reader, I was not able to travel at all back then, much less enjoy a birthday party. So, last night we had his birthday. In his family there were no celebrations for birthdays, much less for him in any capacity. So I try to do something every year for him. Now I had originally had wanted to buy him a huge pile of Legos, he loves Legos! But, he has lots of Legos. So I thought as best I could and came up with the idea of a gift certificate to this place that has an indoor parachuting setup, well it is a huge fan and blows you into a vortex. If you are under 300 pounds they can lift you 20 feet into the inducted air! But, what if he does not want to do that?
Argh! Presents are so hard to buy!
I ended up giving him a $100 bill. He burst into tears.
But we had a good evening of dining at my favorite Mexican cantina and laughing.
At one point, my grand-daughter was talking about what she wanted to be when she grew up - all very common, all very boring. I leaned over and said, "You want to be an elementary school teacher and play with soft squishy minds. You know tell the kids that left is right and right is left. Yes means no, and no means yes."
Grand-daughter looked up at me, balled up her little fist and knocked me on my forehead, "Are you ever going to start using that thing in there?"
Oh dear Lord, I was laughing so hard! Eldest Daughter was horrified, but really it was so unexpected that the humor was only increased. How I love that little girl!
*****
And this week is actually very memorable, in a very negative way. It is as if most, if not all, bad things which have occurred in my life, have always been during this week throughout the years. I have always wondered about this - how could almost all evil in my life only occur during this one week - year after year after year! It has been to the point that I try to be somewhere else just to avoid this week - and yet, no matter where I am, how well hidden, evil finds me and if not striking me, then my children or those with me. Sigh ...
No doubt in the pagan world, explanations could be found for this, but I do not play any "karma", "luck" or coincidence" games. I believe in neither because my life is God's and only His will holds sway. And yet, this anomaly exists.
I remember in my early Christian days, everyone was into the bad theology of a far more powerful personal Satan and Demons than is Biblical. So though all my friends were shouting I needed to be exorcised - I knew that there is no personal Satan, there is no power any demon could hold over me ... but I tell ya, I wondered if I could be wrong more than once! Or am I Job Junior?
In the end, I have to conclude that if there is such a thing as Demonic Impedance, then for some reason I get to suffer through this week of events year after year. Stupid, frustrating things will happen, all major relational disaster will occur, the oppressor will take his best shots - my job is to just survive, not lose my cool, try not to slip up. But through the years there have been a few slip ups for me - times when I lost my cool, when I acted almost human ... as if that were possible back then. (Saturday I will tell the tale of one such event in my life.)
As a Christian, yes, those against the most High can attack us, if God so allows it. However, God promises to give us what we need when those times come. Why do good people suffer, why are Christians martyred, why can circumstances become so allied against us? Because God allows this. It builds in us the faith we need everyday of our lives. It becomes part of our testimony to show others that we are just like them. It builds in us character - something others can see - it draws them to us during times of travail - when they are open to God's call.
*****
This morning's Bible reading, Isaiah 40 - "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare (or hardship) is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins." Please read the rest of this chapter - it is very uplifting!
*****
So, now utterly bummed out, I close - far too much pain has been recalled to memory and the weight I feel for Israel ... But, equally a few smiles. To always remember: "God is in control." That period is very important in that last statement - our hope is in Him, not our own abilities, nor pagan fear of the unknown ... And to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, without ceasing.
*****
I live a very solitary existence, with random chances to be outside amongst the living - usually once a week, and not doctor related. So not much interaction with ANY people. Not much sense of value these days ...
*****
My son in-law had a birthday a few weeks ago, but as you know, if you are a reader, I was not able to travel at all back then, much less enjoy a birthday party. So, last night we had his birthday. In his family there were no celebrations for birthdays, much less for him in any capacity. So I try to do something every year for him. Now I had originally had wanted to buy him a huge pile of Legos, he loves Legos! But, he has lots of Legos. So I thought as best I could and came up with the idea of a gift certificate to this place that has an indoor parachuting setup, well it is a huge fan and blows you into a vortex. If you are under 300 pounds they can lift you 20 feet into the inducted air! But, what if he does not want to do that?
Argh! Presents are so hard to buy!
I ended up giving him a $100 bill. He burst into tears.
But we had a good evening of dining at my favorite Mexican cantina and laughing.
At one point, my grand-daughter was talking about what she wanted to be when she grew up - all very common, all very boring. I leaned over and said, "You want to be an elementary school teacher and play with soft squishy minds. You know tell the kids that left is right and right is left. Yes means no, and no means yes."
Grand-daughter looked up at me, balled up her little fist and knocked me on my forehead, "Are you ever going to start using that thing in there?"
Oh dear Lord, I was laughing so hard! Eldest Daughter was horrified, but really it was so unexpected that the humor was only increased. How I love that little girl!
*****
And this week is actually very memorable, in a very negative way. It is as if most, if not all, bad things which have occurred in my life, have always been during this week throughout the years. I have always wondered about this - how could almost all evil in my life only occur during this one week - year after year after year! It has been to the point that I try to be somewhere else just to avoid this week - and yet, no matter where I am, how well hidden, evil finds me and if not striking me, then my children or those with me. Sigh ...
No doubt in the pagan world, explanations could be found for this, but I do not play any "karma", "luck" or coincidence" games. I believe in neither because my life is God's and only His will holds sway. And yet, this anomaly exists.
I remember in my early Christian days, everyone was into the bad theology of a far more powerful personal Satan and Demons than is Biblical. So though all my friends were shouting I needed to be exorcised - I knew that there is no personal Satan, there is no power any demon could hold over me ... but I tell ya, I wondered if I could be wrong more than once! Or am I Job Junior?
In the end, I have to conclude that if there is such a thing as Demonic Impedance, then for some reason I get to suffer through this week of events year after year. Stupid, frustrating things will happen, all major relational disaster will occur, the oppressor will take his best shots - my job is to just survive, not lose my cool, try not to slip up. But through the years there have been a few slip ups for me - times when I lost my cool, when I acted almost human ... as if that were possible back then. (Saturday I will tell the tale of one such event in my life.)
As a Christian, yes, those against the most High can attack us, if God so allows it. However, God promises to give us what we need when those times come. Why do good people suffer, why are Christians martyred, why can circumstances become so allied against us? Because God allows this. It builds in us the faith we need everyday of our lives. It becomes part of our testimony to show others that we are just like them. It builds in us character - something others can see - it draws them to us during times of travail - when they are open to God's call.
*****
This morning's Bible reading, Isaiah 40 - "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare (or hardship) is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins." Please read the rest of this chapter - it is very uplifting!
*****
So, now utterly bummed out, I close - far too much pain has been recalled to memory and the weight I feel for Israel ... But, equally a few smiles. To always remember: "God is in control." That period is very important in that last statement - our hope is in Him, not our own abilities, nor pagan fear of the unknown ... And to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, without ceasing.
*****
August 12, 2015
Sebamed
I was roaming Costco with Youngest Daughter and I guess it was demo day, the ends of every aisle were packed with vendors wanting to stuff you with their fried greasy foods. I avoid them like the plague! Honestly, if the smell is of death, why do people flock to free food? Gag! And there was this booth set up with something called Sebamed. So, I stopped and read their signage.
A German company apparently offering a line of soaps, rinses, lotions and other skin care products. Whatever, I really had no interest. But, that demo lady had me squirted with her lotion faster than a rattlesnake on a rat!
I was about to complain ... but the lotion was soaking into my skin! Before my very eyes, it was soaking in! What the heck? All lotions: Nivea, Noxema, J&J Intensive Care, a host British goo - does not matter, they literally just sit on my skin! Even baby lotion will not absorb on me! I used to use that one in my bicycle racing days as lubricant for when I would crash! Just slide and not get all torn up! Don't laugh, it works.
Do you know how frustrating it is to be told you have to moisturize your leg and foot and NOTHING will soak into your skin? Yeah, one of my many Native American traits from my mother's Indian heritage - small pores and darn few of them at that! I can not even open the plastic produce bags at the grocers - no pores - no sweat on hands - no open bags. Sometimes if the sprayers are on I can get my hands wet and then open the bag. (see, fun test for you see how much NA is in your heritage, next time you are at the grocers. Yes, I have seen NAs able to open those bags but they have European pores it seems!) I just jokingly call this White Man's Revenge ... a frustrating task for an NA.
So, here was a lotion able to soak into my skin? I tried some more, it absorbed as well. So, Mr Foot is going to get a mighty good greasing very shortly!
Ingredient wise, there appears to be nothing in the lotion which occurs in nature other than Chamomile flowers and water. So, I am not sure why this can be absorbed my my skin, where all others fail. Very odd to me at least.
You can find Sebamed on online, at COSTCO and no doubt coming to Amazon.Com. A quick check shows that Amazon is $3.00 more expensive than COSTCO was yesterday.
A German company apparently offering a line of soaps, rinses, lotions and other skin care products. Whatever, I really had no interest. But, that demo lady had me squirted with her lotion faster than a rattlesnake on a rat!
I was about to complain ... but the lotion was soaking into my skin! Before my very eyes, it was soaking in! What the heck? All lotions: Nivea, Noxema, J&J Intensive Care, a host British goo - does not matter, they literally just sit on my skin! Even baby lotion will not absorb on me! I used to use that one in my bicycle racing days as lubricant for when I would crash! Just slide and not get all torn up! Don't laugh, it works.
Do you know how frustrating it is to be told you have to moisturize your leg and foot and NOTHING will soak into your skin? Yeah, one of my many Native American traits from my mother's Indian heritage - small pores and darn few of them at that! I can not even open the plastic produce bags at the grocers - no pores - no sweat on hands - no open bags. Sometimes if the sprayers are on I can get my hands wet and then open the bag. (see, fun test for you see how much NA is in your heritage, next time you are at the grocers. Yes, I have seen NAs able to open those bags but they have European pores it seems!) I just jokingly call this White Man's Revenge ... a frustrating task for an NA.
So, here was a lotion able to soak into my skin? I tried some more, it absorbed as well. So, Mr Foot is going to get a mighty good greasing very shortly!
Ingredient wise, there appears to be nothing in the lotion which occurs in nature other than Chamomile flowers and water. So, I am not sure why this can be absorbed my my skin, where all others fail. Very odd to me at least.
You can find Sebamed on online, at COSTCO and no doubt coming to Amazon.Com. A quick check shows that Amazon is $3.00 more expensive than COSTCO was yesterday.
August 11, 2015
Listening To God
Mark 8:18
Listen, For No One Else Will
2 Timothy 4:3
So many in our culture today listen to what THEY want to hear.
They seek pastors whom agree with them and their lifestyles.
No one actually wants to seek sound doctrine or knowledge of God.
"Tell me I am okay ..."
"Tell me what God wants me to do ..."
"Do not make me change ..."
"Show me how to make God change
When your relationship with God becomes about you, not God, you have strayed into religion - not Christianity! Time to repent ...
Listening Will Make You Wise
Proverbs 2:1-5
If you read ...
If you search ...
If you call upon God ...
You will learn to FEAR God ...
And FEAR is the beginning of wisdom.
Listening Produces Faith
Romans 10:17
Comes from hearing ...
Comes from reading ...
Comes from listening ...
Comes from doing.
Listen, Great Things Are Coming
1 Corinthians 2:9
The after life.
"More than you can imagine".
But we make up our own ideas of what comes next.
We focus on death and not life.
Listen, Time To Hear Will Not Last
Hebrews 3:7
Not enough to just hear ...
Obedience is the act of responding to hearing God's Word.
Obedience, what God expects of us, what God wants from us, what is so hard to do.
Listen, For No One Else Will
2 Timothy 4:3
So many in our culture today listen to what THEY want to hear.
They seek pastors whom agree with them and their lifestyles.
No one actually wants to seek sound doctrine or knowledge of God.
"Tell me I am okay ..."
"Tell me what God wants me to do ..."
"Do not make me change ..."
"Show me how to make God change
When your relationship with God becomes about you, not God, you have strayed into religion - not Christianity! Time to repent ...
Listening Will Make You Wise
Proverbs 2:1-5
If you read ...
If you search ...
If you call upon God ...
You will learn to FEAR God ...
And FEAR is the beginning of wisdom.
Listening Produces Faith
Romans 10:17
Comes from hearing ...
Comes from reading ...
Comes from listening ...
Comes from doing.
Listen, Great Things Are Coming
1 Corinthians 2:9
The after life.
"More than you can imagine".
But we make up our own ideas of what comes next.
We focus on death and not life.
Listen, Time To Hear Will Not Last
Hebrews 3:7
Not enough to just hear ...
Obedience is the act of responding to hearing God's Word.
Obedience, what God expects of us, what God wants from us, what is so hard to do.
August 10, 2015
Honoring My Elders
Thursday, I got a call from the man I adopted to be my father - over 30 years ago. Paul was a really cool Christian guy in the church, I might not agree with all of his strongly held beliefs, but then again I was at a point in my life where I realized that I had not a clue what it meant to be a Christian male. And, yes, he has called me a moron more than once, much to his wife's horror! (I just turned and said, "Why do you think I am a Mormon?" It helped him save face and everyone laughed.) My role model for a male had been my father - cold, distant, a "user" and a "player". No, not a lot of Godliness there! Paul really hated the idea that an adult was going to adopt him - but I grew on him, across time, I guess.
So, his wife was to have a birthday on Saturday - and he wanted to plan a little soiree with family and close friends to celebrate with. In all 18 came.
I had to laugh, for a friend of mine last year commented that all old people do when they get together is talk about their knee replacements. Nope, she was so wrong! They talk about their bypass surgeries! I was laughing all night long over that one! So there were 3 people there in their 50's, 2 in their 60's and the rest were all in their 80's except for one 104 year old guy! Well, that was what he said any way. Birthday girl I think this was number 88 but we will just round that number to 29. :)
So, most of the group had to be reminded that they already had ordered, or had not. Every story was repeated hourly - and I loved every moment of it - I have always loved the elderly.
At one point adoptive father came and sat by me. "Kris am I developing dementia? Everyone keeps telling me I am ..."
"Well, do you have that red sports car and troll the neighborhood for blondes nightly?" I asked with a smile.
He thought a while on this and said, "Well, the red car is in the garage but I am not allowed to drive it any more, and I married the blonde 60 years ago!"
We laughed heartily. It was just a plain fun night. Though it hurts to see Paul age and mentally slipping.
I chatted with a couple whom I had no clue whom they were and they forgot my name almost instantly. Then had to question why they were there and whom were these other people?!? Such a hoot - not the idea of laughing at them but in being a part of helping them grasp the situation ... hourly.
Dinner was very good, I had a seafood salad, one of the cheapest items on the menu that did not involve pasta. (See, I am trying to be good!) However, almost universally, everyone ordered the steak ... at $49 a 6 ounce chunk! I realize few were raised as I was, but amongst the older population you know to not order any higher than the cost of the median menu item - when someone else is paying for it!
And, last night I was still thinking on this. Here was a man in his late 80s hosting a dinner party of his closest family and friends - and they sucked him dry on that meal! Good heavens! I had brought $1,000 in cash because I had hoped to get a hold of the bill and pay it for them, but no luck on that score! And a thousand dollars would not have cleared that bill, plus tip for the serving staff! Gees!
And I have thought on this behavior. Selfishness and self centeredness is universal amongst the last two generations, and I have wondered where it came from. I wonder if that meal was the answer to that question ... my father's generation or perhaps my grandparents? And how do you turn such a culture to become one of thoughtfulness?
No idea. In my day, there was still a trace of God in society and there were virtues to be followed, unless you were ill bred. Even as a European youth, we had to study George Washington's list of virtues and we had to demonstrate that we were working on making them a part of our lives! The terrors of being schooled as a gentleman in a European finishing school ...
And maybe that is where to start, making this next generation aware that the concept of Virtue is attainable ... Now, I have to go find my copy ... I know I still have it, I found it 10 years ago and reread it at the time ... it is quite timeless in its definition of what should control you. I will post that list, should I ever rediscover its hiding place!
So, his wife was to have a birthday on Saturday - and he wanted to plan a little soiree with family and close friends to celebrate with. In all 18 came.
I had to laugh, for a friend of mine last year commented that all old people do when they get together is talk about their knee replacements. Nope, she was so wrong! They talk about their bypass surgeries! I was laughing all night long over that one! So there were 3 people there in their 50's, 2 in their 60's and the rest were all in their 80's except for one 104 year old guy! Well, that was what he said any way. Birthday girl I think this was number 88 but we will just round that number to 29. :)
So, most of the group had to be reminded that they already had ordered, or had not. Every story was repeated hourly - and I loved every moment of it - I have always loved the elderly.
At one point adoptive father came and sat by me. "Kris am I developing dementia? Everyone keeps telling me I am ..."
"Well, do you have that red sports car and troll the neighborhood for blondes nightly?" I asked with a smile.
He thought a while on this and said, "Well, the red car is in the garage but I am not allowed to drive it any more, and I married the blonde 60 years ago!"
We laughed heartily. It was just a plain fun night. Though it hurts to see Paul age and mentally slipping.
I chatted with a couple whom I had no clue whom they were and they forgot my name almost instantly. Then had to question why they were there and whom were these other people?!? Such a hoot - not the idea of laughing at them but in being a part of helping them grasp the situation ... hourly.
Dinner was very good, I had a seafood salad, one of the cheapest items on the menu that did not involve pasta. (See, I am trying to be good!) However, almost universally, everyone ordered the steak ... at $49 a 6 ounce chunk! I realize few were raised as I was, but amongst the older population you know to not order any higher than the cost of the median menu item - when someone else is paying for it!
And, last night I was still thinking on this. Here was a man in his late 80s hosting a dinner party of his closest family and friends - and they sucked him dry on that meal! Good heavens! I had brought $1,000 in cash because I had hoped to get a hold of the bill and pay it for them, but no luck on that score! And a thousand dollars would not have cleared that bill, plus tip for the serving staff! Gees!
And I have thought on this behavior. Selfishness and self centeredness is universal amongst the last two generations, and I have wondered where it came from. I wonder if that meal was the answer to that question ... my father's generation or perhaps my grandparents? And how do you turn such a culture to become one of thoughtfulness?
No idea. In my day, there was still a trace of God in society and there were virtues to be followed, unless you were ill bred. Even as a European youth, we had to study George Washington's list of virtues and we had to demonstrate that we were working on making them a part of our lives! The terrors of being schooled as a gentleman in a European finishing school ...
And maybe that is where to start, making this next generation aware that the concept of Virtue is attainable ... Now, I have to go find my copy ... I know I still have it, I found it 10 years ago and reread it at the time ... it is quite timeless in its definition of what should control you. I will post that list, should I ever rediscover its hiding place!
August 8, 2015
August 7, 2015
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation
Yes, I went to another Tom Cruise movie. Lord how I loathe that man's success as an actor - he can't act and yet manages to draw film after film. Amazing. This film was no different, awkward male throughout the film, thinking himself cool, pretty much messing up every scene. Luckily, there are greater roles this time for others.
I have to admit that more than once I was having to blink and refocus, is Cruise's face morphed into many scenes? It was eerie, your mind sees a person - obviously not Cruise and then is Cruise. Too weird, maybe it was just the theater's copy of the film had a problem? But, we all saw a slightly taller bearded man in one scene whom then morphed into Cruise instantly. Exactly how much of this film was he in if this is how they are doing films these days? CGI at it finest!
Anyway, it was an enjoyable romp. Several holes that could have been used for comic effect, as I did at dinner afterwards, but yeah ... observant and a smart ass - that's me!
The story really does not exist. The film is a series of action shots with a thin layer of plot tossed it. As a whole it is not much to spend $14.00 for a ticket to see - however, some of those action segments are extremely well done.
Never have heard of Rebecca Ferguson before, but she did well in the film (actually did some acting!) and made see that if this film had been done slightly better, it could give James Bond a real run for their franchises money! Sort of reminiscent of Casino Royal - the female femme fatale obvious has some depth for a change and plays a slightly mysterious main character role!
No, nothing between Tom and Rebecca, though the romantic in me would wish ... how could the male lead NOT fall for her?!?!?!? But, then that would have required the male lead to act and we both know neither Cruise nor Simon Pegg are capable of that! Alec Baldwin, yeah, but he was too busy being the politically correct pain in your @#$ government official (which he did well! I hated him almost instantly!).
An owner and not necessarily a must see at full price, based on attendance it will be at the dollar theaters shortly - but I really enjoyed the two hours of entertainment.
I have to admit that more than once I was having to blink and refocus, is Cruise's face morphed into many scenes? It was eerie, your mind sees a person - obviously not Cruise and then is Cruise. Too weird, maybe it was just the theater's copy of the film had a problem? But, we all saw a slightly taller bearded man in one scene whom then morphed into Cruise instantly. Exactly how much of this film was he in if this is how they are doing films these days? CGI at it finest!
Anyway, it was an enjoyable romp. Several holes that could have been used for comic effect, as I did at dinner afterwards, but yeah ... observant and a smart ass - that's me!
The story really does not exist. The film is a series of action shots with a thin layer of plot tossed it. As a whole it is not much to spend $14.00 for a ticket to see - however, some of those action segments are extremely well done.
Never have heard of Rebecca Ferguson before, but she did well in the film (actually did some acting!) and made see that if this film had been done slightly better, it could give James Bond a real run for their franchises money! Sort of reminiscent of Casino Royal - the female femme fatale obvious has some depth for a change and plays a slightly mysterious main character role!
No, nothing between Tom and Rebecca, though the romantic in me would wish ... how could the male lead NOT fall for her?!?!?!? But, then that would have required the male lead to act and we both know neither Cruise nor Simon Pegg are capable of that! Alec Baldwin, yeah, but he was too busy being the politically correct pain in your @#$ government official (which he did well! I hated him almost instantly!).
An owner and not necessarily a must see at full price, based on attendance it will be at the dollar theaters shortly - but I really enjoyed the two hours of entertainment.
August 6, 2015
It Just Gets Worse
It is hard to understand what is going on with my body. Nothing makes sense, even the experts are confused.
I have to report for a full exam every week, with the local Infectious Disease appointee. Make no mistake, this guy is world class and a complete infection nerd! The man really is amazing. And he is stumped.
My body had turned on itself. Instead of fighting the infections, aided by the anti-biotic, my body has turned on the anti-biotic. So, I had guessed correctly that suddenly the anti-biotic was no longer working - or I was losing the fight. But, really?, kill off the anti-biotic!?!?!? Gees God, what is going on?!?!?!?!?
Add to that, my body has apparently now turned on itself and is attempting to kill off what is left of liver and kidneys! Really? It is not bad enough that every two decades they both stop working for weeks on end, but they have to be attacked by the very body they live in? GEES!
Every blood component is whacked - numbers are nowhere close to where they should be. My red blood cell count is so low that he almost ordered my hospitalization - again (could explain my exhaustion I guess)! I just love becoming a WHO/CDC statistic!
So, today, more blood draws. Enough blood that one of my friends suggested that I may end up with a transfusion after this one! No, they were not joking. Figures, drain Ivan Drago's last male descendent of all of his blood ... got to be some warped logic in there in the cosmic scales of esoteric justice! Well, at least I still have my warped sense of humor.
LOL - I have had little reason to smile for months, and that made me smile :)
Well, the next two months look to becoming extremely interesting!
And, of course, your prayers are a very much needed daily in my life.
I have to report for a full exam every week, with the local Infectious Disease appointee. Make no mistake, this guy is world class and a complete infection nerd! The man really is amazing. And he is stumped.
My body had turned on itself. Instead of fighting the infections, aided by the anti-biotic, my body has turned on the anti-biotic. So, I had guessed correctly that suddenly the anti-biotic was no longer working - or I was losing the fight. But, really?, kill off the anti-biotic!?!?!? Gees God, what is going on?!?!?!?!?
Add to that, my body has apparently now turned on itself and is attempting to kill off what is left of liver and kidneys! Really? It is not bad enough that every two decades they both stop working for weeks on end, but they have to be attacked by the very body they live in? GEES!
Every blood component is whacked - numbers are nowhere close to where they should be. My red blood cell count is so low that he almost ordered my hospitalization - again (could explain my exhaustion I guess)! I just love becoming a WHO/CDC statistic!
So, today, more blood draws. Enough blood that one of my friends suggested that I may end up with a transfusion after this one! No, they were not joking. Figures, drain Ivan Drago's last male descendent of all of his blood ... got to be some warped logic in there in the cosmic scales of esoteric justice! Well, at least I still have my warped sense of humor.
LOL - I have had little reason to smile for months, and that made me smile :)
Well, the next two months look to becoming extremely interesting!
And, of course, your prayers are a very much needed daily in my life.
August 5, 2015
Coin Grading Problems
Back in the 1970's the coin collecting world sort of went crazy - coins were being slabbed in plastic and graded by "experts". I was personally aghast, but I could understand - most people can not grade a coin. My coins are always mint state - yours are almost uncirculated, at best. Chaos actually rules the coin collecting world. If you can find an honest coin dealer, hold onto them because they are rare! Just frustrated used car salesmen ...
Through the decade, the slabbing craze has sort of died down. Now days I see high grade slabbed coins but just as many unslabbed.
So, I thought, "Hmmmmm, I wonder ..."
Now one of the first companies to offer grading was PCGS, professional coin grading service. I have been looking for a nickel graded as proof - 65, PF65. All of the grading services grade from 1 to 70, so nothing special about a 65 and it was not expensive for that reason. Now a 70, well, that is a bit expensive!
So, I found a PCGS PF65 nickel very cheap back in March, sent it in to NGC, numismatic guaranty corporation - a very conservative grading company. Just for fun, I was looking to see how closely the two would grade the same coin ...
NGC sent the coin back and said they would not regrade a PCGS coin. Uhm ... okay, so I broke the nickel out of its PCGS case and sent it back to NGC, still scratching my head over that one ... Snobbery?
The nickel came back yesterday, yeah, they regraded it alright, they gave the nickel their highest grade! A common 1989 nickel, I was just playing with to see how these companies compare ... well, it also came with a written offer to by this nickel for $650! OMG!!!!! For a nickel? In the end, grading and mailing twice came to $41, the original coin I had spent $4 on, so for $45 I ended up with a gem of a coin. What are the odds?
No, I am not going to make a practice of regrading PCGS older graded coins, after all, what was the odds?!? Though, I might carefully consider them for being poorly graded and if they look like a gem and are cheap enough! ... ! Hmmmmm ...
So, how did this nickel end up so poorly graded? Well, I am not bashful and I called up PCGS to chew on them over this. They were nice enough to look up the coin, found out it was part of a roll of proof nickels that had been sent in for grading, they went back through the photographs and concluded that the grader had was a lazy oaf and had just averaged the grades of the coins in the roll and gave them all PF65's! I have to admit amazement. It does not surprise me, I had heard rumblings about PCGS for years, and they admitted an massive error from long ago. So, they have my admiration for honesty.
And what was with NGC not regrading a PCGS coin? Second phone call and it made sense. The grader assigned the coin had taken one look at it, slipped it under a scope and saw that this might be the best 1989 proof nickel to exist ... so what to do? He could have recracked the case and done the regrade but their policy is only to do that if they agree with the PCGS grade for the coin. So, straight across no problem, but an obvious error and they really do not want to get caught up in a he said, she said fight over a coin's grade.
Makes sense, I guess. I am really just pleased to know I have a sale if I need the money, but I still need to find a proof 65 nickel ...
Through the decade, the slabbing craze has sort of died down. Now days I see high grade slabbed coins but just as many unslabbed.
So, I thought, "Hmmmmm, I wonder ..."
Now one of the first companies to offer grading was PCGS, professional coin grading service. I have been looking for a nickel graded as proof - 65, PF65. All of the grading services grade from 1 to 70, so nothing special about a 65 and it was not expensive for that reason. Now a 70, well, that is a bit expensive!
So, I found a PCGS PF65 nickel very cheap back in March, sent it in to NGC, numismatic guaranty corporation - a very conservative grading company. Just for fun, I was looking to see how closely the two would grade the same coin ...
NGC sent the coin back and said they would not regrade a PCGS coin. Uhm ... okay, so I broke the nickel out of its PCGS case and sent it back to NGC, still scratching my head over that one ... Snobbery?
The nickel came back yesterday, yeah, they regraded it alright, they gave the nickel their highest grade! A common 1989 nickel, I was just playing with to see how these companies compare ... well, it also came with a written offer to by this nickel for $650! OMG!!!!! For a nickel? In the end, grading and mailing twice came to $41, the original coin I had spent $4 on, so for $45 I ended up with a gem of a coin. What are the odds?
No, I am not going to make a practice of regrading PCGS older graded coins, after all, what was the odds?!? Though, I might carefully consider them for being poorly graded and if they look like a gem and are cheap enough! ... ! Hmmmmm ...
So, how did this nickel end up so poorly graded? Well, I am not bashful and I called up PCGS to chew on them over this. They were nice enough to look up the coin, found out it was part of a roll of proof nickels that had been sent in for grading, they went back through the photographs and concluded that the grader had was a lazy oaf and had just averaged the grades of the coins in the roll and gave them all PF65's! I have to admit amazement. It does not surprise me, I had heard rumblings about PCGS for years, and they admitted an massive error from long ago. So, they have my admiration for honesty.
And what was with NGC not regrading a PCGS coin? Second phone call and it made sense. The grader assigned the coin had taken one look at it, slipped it under a scope and saw that this might be the best 1989 proof nickel to exist ... so what to do? He could have recracked the case and done the regrade but their policy is only to do that if they agree with the PCGS grade for the coin. So, straight across no problem, but an obvious error and they really do not want to get caught up in a he said, she said fight over a coin's grade.
Makes sense, I guess. I am really just pleased to know I have a sale if I need the money, but I still need to find a proof 65 nickel ...
August 4, 2015
Man of the Century
As 1999 rolled to an end, there was lots of discussion between my friends as to whom the man of the century ought to be. Whom was so important to the century that history would have been changed were it not for this man (or woman!).
Some thought Margaret Thatcher, England's prime minister during a very troubled time.
Strong support was shown for Ronald Reagan was voiced by many (and he DID what?).
Sports figures and movie stars all made the list as well (vacuous culture we live in!).
And there was the quiet voice of Kris, opinioning that Winston Churchill may well have embodied the man of the century. No one agreed. Ronald Reagan won that one! Gees!
But I have continued for 15 years to ferret this out. Whom had a positive impact on culture and society in the 20th century? I may have an answer now: Nelson Mandela.
Make no mistake, this man is not a favorite of mine! But, as I wrote several years ago (<- click hyperlink to read the post), he under went a massive change in his heart and became a leader worthy of following. Jointly with Le Klerk, a white man whom hated him beyond compare, they worked to unite and heal South Africa.
No, Mandela did not change the world, nor impact it. But he did change the fortunes of a country and was able to stave off a civil war which would have decimated Africa. Through wisdom of God, he implemented a system of tribunals to document the apartheid crimes and murders, try those whom were guilty and seek healing. It was all televised, no one need have asked if there was a conspiracy or if something was going on under the table. It was out in the open for all to see ... and to take part in the healing of a nation. And more importantly, it was all voluntary - they really wanted to get their crimes off their chests! Judgements were not innocent or guilty, none were hauled to prison, it was a time of apology and forgiveness between the killers and the families they destroyed. Not a dry eye in the house!
Winston Churchill is still my vote on the world stage.
But, Nelson Mandela had a greater impact on a nation.
Some thought Margaret Thatcher, England's prime minister during a very troubled time.
Strong support was shown for Ronald Reagan was voiced by many (and he DID what?).
Sports figures and movie stars all made the list as well (vacuous culture we live in!).
And there was the quiet voice of Kris, opinioning that Winston Churchill may well have embodied the man of the century. No one agreed. Ronald Reagan won that one! Gees!
But I have continued for 15 years to ferret this out. Whom had a positive impact on culture and society in the 20th century? I may have an answer now: Nelson Mandela.
Make no mistake, this man is not a favorite of mine! But, as I wrote several years ago (<- click hyperlink to read the post), he under went a massive change in his heart and became a leader worthy of following. Jointly with Le Klerk, a white man whom hated him beyond compare, they worked to unite and heal South Africa.
No, Mandela did not change the world, nor impact it. But he did change the fortunes of a country and was able to stave off a civil war which would have decimated Africa. Through wisdom of God, he implemented a system of tribunals to document the apartheid crimes and murders, try those whom were guilty and seek healing. It was all televised, no one need have asked if there was a conspiracy or if something was going on under the table. It was out in the open for all to see ... and to take part in the healing of a nation. And more importantly, it was all voluntary - they really wanted to get their crimes off their chests! Judgements were not innocent or guilty, none were hauled to prison, it was a time of apology and forgiveness between the killers and the families they destroyed. Not a dry eye in the house!
Winston Churchill is still my vote on the world stage.
But, Nelson Mandela had a greater impact on a nation.
August 3, 2015
Farewell Kandy Kay ...
I fear I am in a bit of shock. I have had a chance to view past friendships and prayer concerns through the eyes of a very different Kris. I am not necessarily very impressed with myself.
One would need to roll the clock back very many decades. I was living in Des Moines, Washington - a quiet boating and fishing village. Big deal in town was the annual Salmon Days, the salmon are running and of course a fishing derby is required. I had been living in a place on the beach but decided to move to a secluded apartment two blocks away; my neighbor was a homicidal and insane. He was a month later to be taken away and held for many years in the local looney bin. But, the damage was done for me and I really did not want to move back.
My first day at the new apartment and there is a knock at the door, there stood a simply stunning woman! Obviously a wrong number! But, it turned out she was the owner's daughter and just wanted to introduce herself. As the years would roll by, I became one of the few men she could trust. She was also the prior year's Miss Salmon I was to learn ...
She was horribly troubled - drugs, alcohol and men went through her like water. I have no idea how many times I retrieved her limp body from the parking lot and got her back to the safety of her apartment. I was to learn how she ended up this way - yeah, nothing I could do except kill a few people for her. But, I am a sworn pacifist.
Her brother was equally as troubled, and in the next apartment to me. He was an alcoholic and like his sister, I would drag him back into his apartment quite often as well. When his father would visit, it would be a screaming match from hell. I grew to loathe that man - he was worse than my own father had been!
His two children were a part of my life, when they were straight we could talk, if not then I would care for them as I was able - and drive predators away from Kandy.
I could understand their damage to an extent, but I could not know their pain nor how to help them through it without the self abuse they subjected themselves to. It would be years later before it all came together in me.
And last night I learned why Kandy had simply disappeared ...
I was leafing through Anne Rice's, Don't Look Behind You, and suddenly I was seeing photos of Kandy and her brother, their father and his wives - I had to stop and read what she had documented. It was heartbreaking to now see deeper into the tragedy which was their family. Only I knew more pieces than Rice documented, I knew the story behind her story, from Kandy's viewpoint.
I found out why the police used my apartment for its crawlspace access for three days, why they tore the laundry room floor out, why the barn Kandy and I would go to had been torn down, why Kandy and Ty were so screwed up beyond what I knew, and the end of Kandy.
She had met a guy and moved out of state to be with him. Things did not go well and she came home to her brother. All was good according to Ty, they made plans for the next day and he dropped her off at a hotel. The next day she was found dead. Accidental overdose it was ruled but I am not so sure, I knew the person on the inside and she was not one to end years of being clean - the first night away from home. I dare think she was a victim and someone shot her full of heroin in order to kidnap her. It would not be first time that would have happened at that location, is how the slave trade works, it happened to one of my own God-daughters - that is how I learned about that little trick ...
It has been 29 years now since Kandy died. I had all but forgotten about her and her family, except when someone reminds me of those strange days. I am distraught for the end of Kandy, she deserved so much better than this. But, she had a broken view of God because her father, whom should have modeled a loving God, instead modeled a homicidal beast. The police may never know how many women that man murdered or attempted to - it is sad enough that there were any.
Farewell Kandy Kay, I wish I had known more and could have shared more - perhaps there could have been some form of change of direction for you.
If there is a lesson to be learned here is that each of us as Christians must be involved with those around us. Prayer is vitally important. Unconditional love, not judgement is needed in this world and there is no one to model God's unconditional love than you.
Ultimately, Kandy needed to make peace with her maker, a decision only she could make. Our role in the many Kandy's of this world is to show them who their Creator is and how to make that peace with Him. No, that probably would not mean someone would not have shot her full of heroin, if it was an attempted kidnapping, but perhaps that last second of her life she could have still have known her destination was beyond a bright horizon ...
One would need to roll the clock back very many decades. I was living in Des Moines, Washington - a quiet boating and fishing village. Big deal in town was the annual Salmon Days, the salmon are running and of course a fishing derby is required. I had been living in a place on the beach but decided to move to a secluded apartment two blocks away; my neighbor was a homicidal and insane. He was a month later to be taken away and held for many years in the local looney bin. But, the damage was done for me and I really did not want to move back.
My first day at the new apartment and there is a knock at the door, there stood a simply stunning woman! Obviously a wrong number! But, it turned out she was the owner's daughter and just wanted to introduce herself. As the years would roll by, I became one of the few men she could trust. She was also the prior year's Miss Salmon I was to learn ...
She was horribly troubled - drugs, alcohol and men went through her like water. I have no idea how many times I retrieved her limp body from the parking lot and got her back to the safety of her apartment. I was to learn how she ended up this way - yeah, nothing I could do except kill a few people for her. But, I am a sworn pacifist.
Her brother was equally as troubled, and in the next apartment to me. He was an alcoholic and like his sister, I would drag him back into his apartment quite often as well. When his father would visit, it would be a screaming match from hell. I grew to loathe that man - he was worse than my own father had been!
His two children were a part of my life, when they were straight we could talk, if not then I would care for them as I was able - and drive predators away from Kandy.
I could understand their damage to an extent, but I could not know their pain nor how to help them through it without the self abuse they subjected themselves to. It would be years later before it all came together in me.
And last night I learned why Kandy had simply disappeared ...
I was leafing through Anne Rice's, Don't Look Behind You, and suddenly I was seeing photos of Kandy and her brother, their father and his wives - I had to stop and read what she had documented. It was heartbreaking to now see deeper into the tragedy which was their family. Only I knew more pieces than Rice documented, I knew the story behind her story, from Kandy's viewpoint.
I found out why the police used my apartment for its crawlspace access for three days, why they tore the laundry room floor out, why the barn Kandy and I would go to had been torn down, why Kandy and Ty were so screwed up beyond what I knew, and the end of Kandy.
She had met a guy and moved out of state to be with him. Things did not go well and she came home to her brother. All was good according to Ty, they made plans for the next day and he dropped her off at a hotel. The next day she was found dead. Accidental overdose it was ruled but I am not so sure, I knew the person on the inside and she was not one to end years of being clean - the first night away from home. I dare think she was a victim and someone shot her full of heroin in order to kidnap her. It would not be first time that would have happened at that location, is how the slave trade works, it happened to one of my own God-daughters - that is how I learned about that little trick ...
It has been 29 years now since Kandy died. I had all but forgotten about her and her family, except when someone reminds me of those strange days. I am distraught for the end of Kandy, she deserved so much better than this. But, she had a broken view of God because her father, whom should have modeled a loving God, instead modeled a homicidal beast. The police may never know how many women that man murdered or attempted to - it is sad enough that there were any.
Farewell Kandy Kay, I wish I had known more and could have shared more - perhaps there could have been some form of change of direction for you.
If there is a lesson to be learned here is that each of us as Christians must be involved with those around us. Prayer is vitally important. Unconditional love, not judgement is needed in this world and there is no one to model God's unconditional love than you.
Ultimately, Kandy needed to make peace with her maker, a decision only she could make. Our role in the many Kandy's of this world is to show them who their Creator is and how to make that peace with Him. No, that probably would not mean someone would not have shot her full of heroin, if it was an attempted kidnapping, but perhaps that last second of her life she could have still have known her destination was beyond a bright horizon ...
August 1, 2015
Musical Saturday Morning
I am feeling rather well today (a few weeks before this posts) and Kris gets playful when he is feeling well! :)
So, first Saturday of the month means 1980's music video hits! And I have already warned you, I am feeling playful!
So what do you get when you cross the most popular TV show at the time, with a song from a movie about to turn cult classic? Well, click the video and see .....
I had to go with an audience neutral video, as it could be argued that parts of the movie clips used in the real video were in coarse taste. But, I still like this version. Can you guess who I am amongst the characters?
So, first Saturday of the month means 1980's music video hits! And I have already warned you, I am feeling playful!
So what do you get when you cross the most popular TV show at the time, with a song from a movie about to turn cult classic? Well, click the video and see .....
I had to go with an audience neutral video, as it could be argued that parts of the movie clips used in the real video were in coarse taste. But, I still like this version. Can you guess who I am amongst the characters?
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