Ramblings

Sort of surprising to me, but I just saw that for the second time this year, someone in Russia is downloading the contents of "Thoughts From the Little Apple".  It pleases me that someone, much less in a distant land, can find value in my old ramblings.  I kind of wish people left comments or sent emails these days.  I wonder at what they find valuable, I wonder at what they are seeking, I would love to research something for someone - to be of service to anyone these days!  And it is not like I have very many random readers, same 495 for years!

I live a very solitary existence, with random chances to be outside amongst the living - usually once a week, and not doctor related.  So not much interaction with ANY people.  Not much sense of value these days ...

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My son in-law had a birthday a few weeks ago, but as  you know, if you are a reader, I was not able to travel at all back then, much less enjoy a birthday party.  So, last night we had his birthday.  In his family there were no celebrations for birthdays, much less for him in any capacity.  So I try to do something every year for him.  Now I had originally had wanted to buy him a huge pile of Legos, he loves Legos!  But, he has lots of Legos.  So I thought as best I could and came up with the idea of a gift certificate to this place that has an indoor parachuting setup, well it is a huge fan and blows you into a vortex.  If you are under 300 pounds they can lift  you 20 feet into the inducted air!  But, what if he does not want to do that?

Argh!  Presents are so hard to buy!

I ended up giving him a $100 bill.  He burst into tears.

But we had a good evening of dining at my favorite Mexican cantina and laughing.

At one point, my grand-daughter was talking about what she wanted to be when she grew up - all very common, all very boring.  I leaned over and said, "You want to be an elementary school teacher and play with soft squishy minds.  You know tell the kids that left is right and right is left.  Yes means no, and no means yes."

Grand-daughter looked up at me, balled up her little fist and knocked me on my forehead, "Are you ever going to start using that thing in there?"

Oh dear Lord, I was laughing so hard!  Eldest Daughter was horrified, but really it was so unexpected that the humor was only increased.  How I love that little girl!

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And this week is actually very memorable, in a very negative way.  It is as if most, if not all, bad things which have occurred in my life, have always been during this week throughout the years.  I have always wondered about this - how could almost all evil in my life only occur during this one week - year after year after year!  It has been to the point that I try to be somewhere else just to avoid this week - and yet, no matter where I am, how well hidden, evil finds me and if not striking me, then my children or those with me.  Sigh ...

No doubt in the pagan world, explanations could be found for this, but I do not play any "karma", "luck" or coincidence" games.  I believe in neither because my life is God's and only His will holds sway.  And yet, this anomaly exists.

I remember in my early Christian days, everyone was into the bad theology of a far more powerful personal Satan and Demons than is Biblical.  So though all my friends were shouting I needed to be exorcised - I knew that there is no personal Satan, there is no power any demon could hold over me ... but I tell ya, I wondered if I could be wrong more than once!  Or am I Job Junior?

In the end, I have to conclude that if there is such a thing as Demonic Impedance, then for some reason I get to suffer through this week of events year after year.  Stupid, frustrating things will happen, all major relational disaster will occur, the oppressor will take his best shots - my job is to just survive, not lose my cool, try not to slip up.  But through the years there have been a few slip ups for me - times when I lost my cool, when I acted almost human ... as if that were possible back then.  (Saturday I will tell the tale of one such event in my life.)

As a Christian, yes, those against the most High can attack us, if God so allows it.  However, God promises to give us what we need when those times come.  Why do good people suffer, why are Christians martyred, why can circumstances become so allied against us?  Because God allows this.  It builds in us the faith we need everyday of our lives.  It becomes part of our testimony to show others that we are just like them.  It builds in us character - something others can see - it draws them to us during times of travail - when they are open to God's call.

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This morning's Bible reading, Isaiah 40 - "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.  Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare (or hardship) is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins."  Please read the rest of this chapter - it is very uplifting!

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So, now utterly bummed out, I close - far too much pain has been recalled to memory and the weight I feel for Israel ...  But, equally a few smiles.  To always remember: "God is in control."  That period is very important in that last statement - our hope is in Him, not our own abilities, nor pagan fear of the unknown ...  And to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, without ceasing.

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