Last week was very much a blessing - to suddenly learn God had done a miracle ... for me, but why? It is not like I am sainted and deserve any form of blessing from God - I was ready to die, to go home, but God apparently wants to keep me here. The future holds something of value to Him I guess. I feel true happiness.
Beyond the healing of my kidneys, liver, bone marrow, destruction of the three infections, restart of the iron transport system, etc - my blood sugars are now completely and totally normal! I will still play the Type II diabetic game, but in the back of my mind I am wondering if ... I have been diabetic since I was at least 13, if not younger - but it was only 7 years ago they diagnosed the problem. I do not remember being exactly good around the time of that last blood draw, so I expected the usual mid-7's as the blood sugar level and to be yelled at - not the 5.6 they documented! Really? Too weird if true. Add to this the restoration of hearing to my right ear, lost in the second operation - and God really did something! My ear doctor (who knows how to spell what the heck they are called?) pushed his chair back on Tuesday and said slowly, "Well, it looks like everything is working ... We are done here." He had already booked me for the next 10 weeks! Yeah, weird.
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And to herald this bizarre and unexplainable healing of Kris: my PICC line was removed yesterday! A miserable rubber tube which ran from my arm pit to my heart, so antibiotics could be dumped down it three times a day! Of course, I knew they would be ill prepared for what was coming - so I bought a pile of 4 inch gauze pads and 80 inches of 2 inch wide hospital tape to form a tourniquet with. I was right, they did not have on hand what was needed. However, for the first time in my LIFE I did not bleed for up to 6 hours after anything involving an artery! I am quite simply stunned! As recent as three weeks ago, a simple blood draw did what was normal: four hours of heavy bleeding! It was so bad that the store called an ambulance because of the amount of blood coming down my arm when the band slipped! I was clueless and thought I was just dizzy - yeah, lots of blood! So, it seems - the Habsburg gene is defeated as well? Take that inbreeding!!!!!
Really, this is a new Kris, in a new body it seems - I do not recognize this body and no one it seems recognizes me. I will have to count my grey hairs now, maybe there has been a roll back in that department as well? LOL!
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Last night, I was laying in bed thinking on all of this. God is moving to get my body back together and it is working again - or maybe I would bring down heavenly land values if I got home to Heaven too soon! Night is also when I can cry and not let the members of this house mock me. I mourn the loss of friends and life being devoid of any form of emotion or warmth. I do have emotion, now, locked away in my heart, so desiring to burst forth ... but, well, it is not exactly what I can share given this environment. So, I die a little each day on the inside.
One day, perhaps one day, I can free.
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I thought on how odd it is that amongst my almost life long friendships, Swede is the lone one to render assistance (and I do have one whom usually messages or texts me daily). I am seeing how amongst family and friends - I sit where James was last February. I still mourn his death, so unnecessary, so much pain he brought his family because he did not want to face the loss of his foot. Admittedly, this year has been a literal hell for me, mostly because I struggle to keep that foot and leg - just as he could have done. Doing most things myself because no else will help around here. And perhaps like me, James had no one to render daily assistance for a year or so. And, yes, I did consider suicide at one point - but high fever and delirium was not enough to push me over the edge. Sorry Satan.
Is that what really pushed James over the edge? Abandonment by friends and family, whom all suddenly had no time for him. Constant pain and approaching deformity? Yeah, I could see him really easily in my situation, many of the players are the same even! Plus he had a wife whom was less than supportive, to say the least! :( Pomegranate juice, so yummy, so deadly to those on the Charcot meds - a guaranteed heart attack instantly in every glass full.
And yet, I can have no trust in Swede because he has proven he can not be deeply trusted. I pondered this. Why should he go so far out of his way for me, he lives over an hour away when there is no traffic ... I wondered if with the loss of his brother is a factor. He also spends time with his many nieces and their families. All that is left of his family is him, a sister and her four daughters and their children. I have no definitive answer, it could be as simple as guilt is driving the generosity with his time. I ponder ...
But, he is what God has provided, so I will be thankful.
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Yet, even in that, I have now learned, because of Swede's example, to spend time with one of my business acquaintances, Kurt, whom managed to climb a ladder last weekend, which then broke a leg. So, down he went, still attached to the ladder. Shattered left shoulder, left ankle broken in two places and he bounced his bean off of the ladder as well. So battered face, left side teeth through skin and then the teeth broke. Sigh, poor Kurt - I told him I may have to surrender my King of Klutz crown if this keep up! His spirits were high and his wife was practicing driving his little scooter chair around the room - kept us laughing! Feel free to pray for him! (He is a lawyer so he needs all the prayer he can get! LOL!)
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As I was walking out of the hospital, I saw a little gift shop off of the main hallway, checked the time and I had plenty, so I went into "sniff" the shop. Rather glad I did as they had some very interesting antiques in there! I picked up a formal butter dish, where the butter sits on a plate and under the plate is a storage area for ice! Very cool. An antique piece of Belleek, for the show this fall, assuming anyone has an interest in Belleek anymore. A super cool sippy-cup, made by the Thun factory in Czechoslovakia (Czech Republic for you youngin's). It is something probably used by an invalid but I just liked it since I have a strong attachment to Thun (we owned it once after all!). (still chuckling over that one!) My son in law has become addicted Seattle history, and the shop had a book published here in 1906 by one of the original pioneers. I hope it is a good Christmas gift for him! And two old Scottish buttons, which will be used as bag closures on an accessories bag for a custom gun I hope to finish this fall - if I can get a small wood working area set up. And I have to admit, were the hospital not for those of little means, I never would have bought any of it - but if it helps to fund the hospital - hence, my lawyer acquaintance's surgeries he faces and many therapies. Yeah, not all lawyers are rich.
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As many of you know, I have a real soft spot for orphans and impoverished children. I came across a flyer on a group called, "Roots and Wings", whom are working with children in Mazatlan, Mexico. Their goal is to help to feed impoverished child in Mazatlan, provide childcare and offer education to parents on how to work with what they have. Seems to be much like what World Vision and many other groups do - yet, I am not a real fan of those organizations - whom do not have feet on the ground in the place they work. So, I was able to spend sometime with one of those involved with this group. Now if only I spoke Spanish far better I might be able to actually do something of value ... sigh ... Kris and his allergy to languages! (My first language was German, then spoken English, French, Spanish and written English once I was 30! So, I have an excuse for my utter butchering of the language.)
rootsandwingsim.org on the internet
Roots & Wings
200 CR 36120
Honey Grove, TX
75446
P:903.378.6140
They desire $30 per month to support a child with food, clothing, care and education .
Yeah, I will be adding them to my monthly giving list since it appears that Kimmie will not be returning to Africa any too soon.
Check them out on the internet, maybe see about going down to help them, but do pray for their ministry's success. If Mexico is to have a chance for change, it has got to start with the family ... Hmm, maybe we need this in a country to the north of them ... but it is harder to implement change in an atmosphere of wealth.
I also have a man in Chihuahua, Mexico doing the exact same thing - if you are interested he could use support as well. He has been running his ministry with NO income or support, just local support - and only him as the worker bee. His daughter is a good friend of mine so I get constant updates on how it goes for him, the ministry and the general area (drug war - sigh). Prayer for him is good too ... his daughter, Veronica, could use real prayer as well, she is newly pregnant and it is NOT going well at all!
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Choos! (Swiss for: later 'gater!)
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