I fear I am in a bit of shock. I have had a chance to view past friendships and prayer concerns through the eyes of a very different Kris. I am not necessarily very impressed with myself.
One would need to roll the clock back very many decades. I was living in Des Moines, Washington - a quiet boating and fishing village. Big deal in town was the annual Salmon Days, the salmon are running and of course a fishing derby is required. I had been living in a place on the beach but decided to move to a secluded apartment two blocks away; my neighbor was a homicidal and insane. He was a month later to be taken away and held for many years in the local looney bin. But, the damage was done for me and I really did not want to move back.
My first day at the new apartment and there is a knock at the door, there stood a simply stunning woman! Obviously a wrong number! But, it turned out she was the owner's daughter and just wanted to introduce herself. As the years would roll by, I became one of the few men she could trust. She was also the prior year's Miss Salmon I was to learn ...
She was horribly troubled - drugs, alcohol and men went through her like water. I have no idea how many times I retrieved her limp body from the parking lot and got her back to the safety of her apartment. I was to learn how she ended up this way - yeah, nothing I could do except kill a few people for her. But, I am a sworn pacifist.
Her brother was equally as troubled, and in the next apartment to me. He was an alcoholic and like his sister, I would drag him back into his apartment quite often as well. When his father would visit, it would be a screaming match from hell. I grew to loathe that man - he was worse than my own father had been!
His two children were a part of my life, when they were straight we could talk, if not then I would care for them as I was able - and drive predators away from Kandy.
I could understand their damage to an extent, but I could not know their pain nor how to help them through it without the self abuse they subjected themselves to. It would be years later before it all came together in me.
And last night I learned why Kandy had simply disappeared ...
I was leafing through Anne Rice's, Don't Look Behind You, and suddenly I was seeing photos of Kandy and her brother, their father and his wives - I had to stop and read what she had documented. It was heartbreaking to now see deeper into the tragedy which was their family. Only I knew more pieces than Rice documented, I knew the story behind her story, from Kandy's viewpoint.
I found out why the police used my apartment for its crawlspace access for three days, why they tore the laundry room floor out, why the barn Kandy and I would go to had been torn down, why Kandy and Ty were so screwed up beyond what I knew, and the end of Kandy.
She had met a guy and moved out of state to be with him. Things did not go well and she came home to her brother. All was good according to Ty, they made plans for the next day and he dropped her off at a hotel. The next day she was found dead. Accidental overdose it was ruled but I am not so sure, I knew the person on the inside and she was not one to end years of being clean - the first night away from home. I dare think she was a victim and someone shot her full of heroin in order to kidnap her. It would not be first time that would have happened at that location, is how the slave trade works, it happened to one of my own God-daughters - that is how I learned about that little trick ...
It has been 29 years now since Kandy died. I had all but forgotten about her and her family, except when someone reminds me of those strange days. I am distraught for the end of Kandy, she deserved so much better than this. But, she had a broken view of God because her father, whom should have modeled a loving God, instead modeled a homicidal beast. The police may never know how many women that man murdered or attempted to - it is sad enough that there were any.
Farewell Kandy Kay, I wish I had known more and could have shared more - perhaps there could have been some form of change of direction for you.
If there is a lesson to be learned here is that each of us as Christians must be involved with those around us. Prayer is vitally important. Unconditional love, not judgement is needed in this world and there is no one to model God's unconditional love than you.
Ultimately, Kandy needed to make peace with her maker, a decision only she could make. Our role in the many Kandy's of this world is to show them who their Creator is and how to make that peace with Him. No, that probably would not mean someone would not have shot her full of heroin, if it was an attempted kidnapping, but perhaps that last second of her life she could have still have known her destination was beyond a bright horizon ...
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