Thursday, I got a call from the man I adopted to be my father - over 30 years ago. Paul was a really cool Christian guy in the church, I might not agree with all of his strongly held beliefs, but then again I was at a point in my life where I realized that I had not a clue what it meant to be a Christian male. And, yes, he has called me a moron more than once, much to his wife's horror! (I just turned and said, "Why do you think I am a Mormon?" It helped him save face and everyone laughed.) My role model for a male had been my father - cold, distant, a "user" and a "player". No, not a lot of Godliness there! Paul really hated the idea that an adult was going to adopt him - but I grew on him, across time, I guess.
So, his wife was to have a birthday on Saturday - and he wanted to plan a little soiree with family and close friends to celebrate with. In all 18 came.
I had to laugh, for a friend of mine last year commented that all old people do when they get together is talk about their knee replacements. Nope, she was so wrong! They talk about their bypass surgeries! I was laughing all night long over that one! So there were 3 people there in their 50's, 2 in their 60's and the rest were all in their 80's except for one 104 year old guy! Well, that was what he said any way. Birthday girl I think this was number 88 but we will just round that number to 29. :)
So, most of the group had to be reminded that they already had ordered, or had not. Every story was repeated hourly - and I loved every moment of it - I have always loved the elderly.
At one point adoptive father came and sat by me. "Kris am I developing dementia? Everyone keeps telling me I am ..."
"Well, do you have that red sports car and troll the neighborhood for blondes nightly?" I asked with a smile.
He thought a while on this and said, "Well, the red car is in the garage but I am not allowed to drive it any more, and I married the blonde 60 years ago!"
We laughed heartily. It was just a plain fun night. Though it hurts to see Paul age and mentally slipping.
I chatted with a couple whom I had no clue whom they were and they forgot my name almost instantly. Then had to question why they were there and whom were these other people?!? Such a hoot - not the idea of laughing at them but in being a part of helping them grasp the situation ... hourly.
Dinner was very good, I had a seafood salad, one of the cheapest items on the menu that did not involve pasta. (See, I am trying to be good!) However, almost universally, everyone ordered the steak ... at $49 a 6 ounce chunk! I realize few were raised as I was, but amongst the older population you know to not order any higher than the cost of the median menu item - when someone else is paying for it!
And, last night I was still thinking on this. Here was a man in his late 80s hosting a dinner party of his closest family and friends - and they sucked him dry on that meal! Good heavens! I had brought $1,000 in cash because I had hoped to get a hold of the bill and pay it for them, but no luck on that score! And a thousand dollars would not have cleared that bill, plus tip for the serving staff! Gees!
And I have thought on this behavior. Selfishness and self centeredness is universal amongst the last two generations, and I have wondered where it came from. I wonder if that meal was the answer to that question ... my father's generation or perhaps my grandparents? And how do you turn such a culture to become one of thoughtfulness?
No idea. In my day, there was still a trace of God in society and there were virtues to be followed, unless you were ill bred. Even as a European youth, we had to study George Washington's list of virtues and we had to demonstrate that we were working on making them a part of our lives! The terrors of being schooled as a gentleman in a European finishing school ...
And maybe that is where to start, making this next generation aware that the concept of Virtue is attainable ... Now, I have to go find my copy ... I know I still have it, I found it 10 years ago and reread it at the time ... it is quite timeless in its definition of what should control you. I will post that list, should I ever rediscover its hiding place!
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