Half Full

Seemingly long ago, brother Timothy commented that, "I had an annoying rosy outlook on life and I needed to lose it."  LOL  Well, I thought it was very funny at the time ....

That remark was remembered over the weekend.  Given all that I have been undergoing - I wondered if I still had that outlook on life.

Well, internally, I have a very grateful spirit.  Life is precious and God has granted me continued life - albeit, a very different life.  And I do have joy, I wondered if it had eroded. But, life definitely has gotten in the way across the year. 

So, I thought on how people react around me, what do they say? That one was easy, pretty much no one talks to me, except for utter strangers.

Those whom surround me are at best superficial in any conversation.  No reason to be, that I am aware of.  Yet, they are.  And I have no past to draw from for comparison, I just "know" how it should be.  Words unsaid are so horribly obvious ...  Words that are said show there is no understanding of me or this me.

Strangers are very pleasant.  And I keep any conversation light and airy.  Amongst the stranger class is one whom could one day be a friend, only we never interact that often.  So, people whom have known me are distant.
Those whom do not, are friendly.

Hmmmmmmm?

And I find that this has caused me across the past year to be almost curmudgeon like.

So, I go back to the friend class, asking what is the problem here? There is no answer.  Oh a few have flown into a rage but never with anything of substance that could answer the question nor their reaction.  Honestly, very perplexing.

And roving around in the back of my mind, is the thought that I could still use my given German name legally, move to Nova Scotia and quietly disappear.  Maybe people would like me there?

After I relearn to live and walk and gain a skill or two ...

In the meantime, back to being Mr. Rosy Outlook, refusing to look upon all of the negatives in life.  See that glass as awaiting to be filled, neither half of anything.