With Apologies Emily

"When the Best is gone - 
I know that other things are not of consequence - 
 The Heart wants what it wants - 
or else it does not care -
You wonder why I write so - 
Because I cannot help - 
I like to have you know some care - 
so when your life gets faint for it's other life - 
you can lean - 
I wont break. 
We look very small - 
but the Reed can carry weight.
Not to see what we love, is very terrible - 
and talking - 
does'nt ease it - 
and nothing does - 
but just itself.
The Eyes and Hair, we chose - 
are all there are - 
to us - 
Is'nt it so?
I often wonder how the love of Christ, is done - 
when that - 
below - 
holds - 
so -"
 Emily Dickinson

So Emily Dickinson wrote this in the Spring of 1862 to her friend, attempting to console her.  I know when I first read this, I was maddened at her failure to complete any thought - but then, perhaps the thought did not need to be completed.  Maybe it was understood for they were like minded.

The heart wants what the heart wants, a phrase which has echoed though my mind this  year.  How does one explain the desire of the heart?  It will abhor what it will, it will be drawn equally inexplicably to  what it desires.  (No, we are not talking desire of the mind or corruption, but real desire in the realm of eternal values.)  If you are honest, no, you are not going to override it or force an issue permanently one way or another.  Yes, you can over-ride and hide from your heart's desire and what you know/knew to be true and right.  But, the truth will be known in your heart ... and you can not hide from it.  It will visit you in the wee hours ...

And we really do not like having our heart known - and then fear those whom do know.

One heart is but part of an equation.  When there are no other parts, there is no satisfaction.  If the heart was honest, there is no understanding as to why it is suddenly alone.

Emily wrote this to her friend Mary to console her at a loss.  And it has taken much thought to decipher the context and meaning of this verse.  Then it struck me last week:
Emily is telling her that she will help her bear her burdens,
If she will share them.
Emily tells her that the day will come when life grows weak,
And she will be there for her.
Then given this situation,
How much more so is the Love of God for each of us?

And I thought on this ... Emily, as far as I know, never married - but did have a special man in her life whom she could not marry.  So, she understood the plight of the heart - to know what should be, yet was unobtainable.  To know joy and then separation, over and over, repeatably.

Emily Dickinson was just a boring 19th century poet, something old Kris had no use for - nor understanding of.  And now, I see and I understand, but more so, I have gained a new respect for her.

It changes nothing in my life, other than to know in the history of mankind - I am not alone ...